As I’ve been diagnosed with secondaries and am currently in limbo (scans in April to see if hormone therapy is working or not - if not, chemo for me) my head is all over the place. I am not dealing very well at all. The prospect of never having children, a home of my own (we rent at present) and dying so young and leaving my beautiful husband is making me go over the edge.
I’ve been booked in to see Dr Penny Hopwood at Christies for a psych evaluation and long term counselling. I’ve seena counsellor before, for a lot of other things, and this didn’t work for me. I know that it takes a while to get a counsellor who you click with, but I never got round to that.
I know that she’ll probably have lots of questions for me, but am wondering what list of questions I should take with me? A friend has given me the following examples, and I wonder if any of you can progress on these?..
What sort of treatment(s) you’d be likely to receive ie ‘talking’ treatment, group therapy, medication, sessions with partner. (If you’ve had any particularly good or bad experiences with particular forms of treatment in the past, also let them know this.)
What sort of success do they have with X type(s) of treatment with the patients at Christies/cancer patients in general?
If attending a course of appointments, how long would you have to wait/what sort of time of day would they be likely to be (and if there’s any flexibility within that)/how often/how long for.
Would anything revealed in your mental health treatment be shared with other people involved in your care at Christies or would it be kept wholly confidential?
Do the mental health team offer any other non-treatment services ie social groups you can join, ‘surgeries’ with legal people etc.
I’n not surprised your head is all over the place. It sounds like you have got a list of good questions. It might be an idea for you to work out what you are hoping to get from any counselling. What for you would be ‘successful’ counselling? Do you want to see someone on their own or would a group help you more? Facing what you face is very very hard.
I imagine that any counsellor you see through Christies will be experienced in working with people with cancer. You could ask what the theoretical orientation of the counsellor is. All counsellors train in one counselling approach, though I think the best counsellors are ‘eclectic’ in their approach. Psycho dynamic counsellors will help you look at things in your past, including childhood which may be affecting how you feel now, humanist counsellors will focus more on the here and now, while cognitive/beavioural counsellors will be the most likely to suggest practical strategies for coping with your feelings. Any good counsellor will be a good listener and allow you space to express your feelings.
I had done a lot of counselling before breast cancer and have seen someone regularly since. For me its just good to have a safe place which is all ‘mine’…to have someone who will listen to me. I always leave a session feeling ‘better’ but there are still times when I feel like I’m tipping over the edge…so perhaps don’t have too high expectations. It sounds like you’re taking the right first step in getting this evaluation.
Hi Poannie,
Like Jane says, you’ve got a good set of questions there, and then add in what she said. You might also like to think about how you would feel if offered medication for anxiety/depression/mood. Some people feel that would somehow label them. Others see them as just like a crutch for a broken leg, tiding you over and helping you get on with the day-to-day stuff while you’re getting help and time is helping you ‘heal’.
You have certainly had a huge shock, have a whole plateful of new stuff to digest about your future, and then being stuck in limbo is the very worst place to be. No wonder you need some support.
Be sure to say if there’s something you wouldn’t want, like for example the sort of counselling when you have to do all the talking, or being seen in a group.
I wish you all the best for your appointment
Jacquie xx