Gillieann - your description about how you feel putting on a brave face for others resonates completely with me. It is spot on. Amazing how people can’t handle what is going on with us, and yet they expect us to be Little Miss Positive all the time. I can do it most of the time but sometimes the mask slips - and why shouldn’t it.
Jak - I understand about the lack of celebration. People keep saying ‘once rads finish you can put it all behind you and forget about it’. Not that easy at all. I don’t think I’ll ever forget about it. It’s all still so scary.
dizzy - I agree that it is a lonely battle too. My OH has been amazing, as has my father, but I’m very aware my OH last his dad to cancer this year so do hold back a bit from the warts and all stuff that runs through my head with him. Probably don’t need to and he’d be horrified to know that but still feel I ought to. My mum is battling her own cancer, and my brother in law has 3 members of his family battling too. People I thought were good friends have vanished, friends that I’ve had for 25 years. Ive been left with a small circle of proper friends who have been amazing but I am so disappointed in the others. So yes it has been a lonely journey.
Sue - you’re ticking them off!! I’m just one behind you - 3 normal ones and 5 boosters left now. I’m fed up of being sore and fed up of all these dressings. I’m peeling now and it’s weird looking in the mirror to see one pink boob and one white one. My rads boob has developed a nice dent the last two days!! Do you know what type of boosters you’re having? Most apparently have another CT scan before the boosters as they make some kind of guide? I’m having the same type of rads as now, but in a narrow beam targeted where it needs to go - the electron boosters won’t go deep enough for me so I’m told. Oh joy. But means there’s not another CT scan.
Boobywoo - I’ve mentioned on here previously that my counsellor said that moving forward, we’ll be monitored far more frequently than ladies who haven’t had BC, and that puts us in a better position. Any issues will be identified early on because of our annual checks. Doesn’t make it any easier i know but I do now feel like there is a bit of a safety net for me. Doesn’t take away the fear, but at least if it’s there in the future, it’ll be identified instead of living in blissful ignorance.
what a damn journey this is for us all. So hard but we are all getting there together. We will not be defeated!!!
Thanks Beth. Lots if sense in everything you have said in reply to all of us. Hoping my rads don’t make me sore. That’s another worry. Still feeling very sore internally of my breast at the moment.
Yes it’s an awful journey we are experiencing. Please stop the bus I want to get off ! X Hugs to all
The day has come to start rads.
Just wondering do they zap the whole boob/ scar or just pin point as it were?
Also when moisturising presumably best to do the whole area?
Feeling very stressed and emotional but keep own I’ll be better once it’s all underway.
Pretty fed up with all the knock on ailments I’m getting as a result of all this. Moan moan moan…that’s all for now folks!
Thank you all for your replies. It really helps that you understand how I feel. Number 6 / 15 today. Sue, I’m really heartened that you feel better in your second week because I have lots of Xmas dos coming up and I’m afraid I won’t get to any of them.
Welcome Pollyp and good luck for your first day. I know just how you feel, I think it’s really natural to feel stressed and emotional. Sometimes when the bells and whistles start I feel quite panic-y. Doesn’t hurt at the time though. After 5 sessions I know my boob is there but I am not in agony but pretty tired and I feel a bit sick.
Boobywo - Wecome to the Norfolk and Norwich, lovely people just horrible parking. Perhaps we could synconise and you could save me a parking space. Just kidding!
This is a scary journey we are on - and I don’t think I will ever be the same as I was before. There were tears before lunch time yesterday because I tried to do too much. Today I have to do some urgent xmas shopping for the weekend before my appointment and I don’t feel in the least like it. But Beth you are right this won’t beat us and as the new year progresses we can all meet up on the ‘moving on’ thread. How my social life is improving.
Sending love and strength to you all, too many to name. But tell us how it was Pollyp. And when the bells and whistles start I’ll be thinking of you - and not panic-ing. Phew! Gillx
Hi Pollyp and everyone. I started my rads yesterday so now 2 down, 13 to go! I am a bit tired, probably from being up early I think, but otherwise ok. I am lucky because we are given a free parking space right outside of our treatment centre and it’s only 10 minutes away. Today I drove myself. It is hoped est lyndsay like a radiotherapy social club when I get there of a morning! I guess the people in the club must change every 3 to 4 weeks! I am doing my exercises and drinking my water, applying aqueous cream at least twice a day and using simple soap for washing. Day 3 tomorrow. Good luck Pollyp xxx
Hi Suza.g I start my rads at Norfolk and Norwich on Tuesday. Do u have specific times. Mine are all over the place from 8.40 to 5 pm ! Good luck , I am not looking forward to it .Wendy x
That’s one under my belt then. Feels like im in my own special ‘advent’ calendar. Ticking off the days wondering what each will bring.
Ali49 glad I’m not the only one to fall fowl of predictive text. Usually as I’ve so much to say and send to quick without checking!
Nothing to declare at mo, and dare I say even a bit non descript (?!?) I’ve got a headache this afternoon but suspect that’s my own fault for being so worked up this morning.
As for festive? Early night for me as I have a tree to decorate in morning, going for the minimum approach this year I think…i can use the excuse its trendy!
I’ve now done six out of fifteen, so far my skin is fine and I haven’t really noticed any effects. To be honest, I think I was expecting more problems with my skin because I’m very fair skinned and burn very easily. I also haven’t really been tired, or had any pain, everything seems just normal so far.
So I hope that’s encouraging for anyone worrying about starting.
13 completed today and 7 to go. Must say I’m fed up now and have had enough. I’m sore, pink, can’t touch the old nip let alone rub cream on it. My skin has peeled underneath my boob too and I have a couple of bright red bits that the nurse thinks may turn in to more little blisters. My boob is getting hard and I have developed a cracking dent now just next to one scar. Wearing a seatbelt for the journey is very painful so I can’t wait for this part of my treatment to be over.
I am knackered too which is compounded by really poor sleep at night as I just cannot get comfortable. And if one more person tells me that I look really well I think i will stab them in the eye with a fork.
I felt guilty then for feeling rather sorry for myself today as there were a number of really poorly people waiting for rads lunchtime and in comparison I know I’m having it easy. Think I’m just having a downer day today. Cocodamol for bed I think to at least try and get a few hours.
Sorry to be miserable but I am totally fed up being sore and uncomfortable all the time.
Ho hum. Tomorrow is another day and I’m going to make an effort to make the staff Christmas dinner tomorrow evening. Dressings, painkillers and plenty of makeup. That’ll do the job!!
It was so good to read all your posts. Well done Pollyp, one down. Also Beth 123, I totally agree, who knew Breast Cancer could make me this grumpy! I feel pretty sorry for my very patient other half. Bless.
Today is 7 / 15. So far I am not very sore, but tired and a bit emotional. (Pretty normal says the long suffering other half.) It is also Christmas Eve in our house for lots of complicated reasons, nobody said alcohol is off for us did they?!!
So I am off on an urgent mission to replace a smàll xmas tree with only half the lights working, problem is I cheer up and very soon start to feel really tired again. Still onwards and upwards.
Sending you all strength, positivity and love, have a good weekend. Gillx
Morning/afternoon all
Sounds like you’ve a full couple of days ahead Gillie Ann hope all goes well. I’d crack open a bottle if I were you!
Two random questions for the board today… phones are they ok in the same room when rads are happening? This is where I am to leave bag etc and it maybe coincidence but the camera was all ‘funny’ yesterday.
Also as we are supposed to be moisturiser / product free when having it, is it OK to use simple wet wipes to clean before do you think? I may not always be at home with sink and water available?
I’ll take them along today but just wondering.
Well got the tree up and half decorated and a grocery shop done. Peaked now though I think so a sit down before heading off again. I’m intending on popping into our maggies Centre to see about some counselling/ off loading. Hope all your days go smoothly one and all.
Starting at Norfolk and Norwich in about 4 weeks…no date yet.They said they were sent in a letter…can you choose times or is it out of your hands? Having 20 rads and hoping to get enough people to take me as I don’t drive.I asked about transport which they can provide as a car that picks people up along the way but trouble is- there’s always one isn’t there? :)- I get very car sick and have to sit in the front and they can’t guarantee that.no-one would want to travel for over an hour in the back of a car with me, trust me! :)Don’t know what to expect from rads really as people seem to have different reactions but a.bit nervous.think all the travelling every day will be enough to tire me out! X
Glad to hear you are all perservering even when it’s hard (Beth you are really suffering I’m so sorry). I have my planning on Monday so am back to feeling unsettled again. Feeling really tired again too. Treeze I find stugeron works well for me and I’m very travel sick - normally drive everywhere. Mind you you would need to check first as they like to know what over the counter stuff we take.
Take care with Christmas preparation/early Christmas etc remember to let others do the hard work this year!!
Hi lovely ladies. I’m so sorry I joined this thread then disappeared, I have tried to catch up. I am struggling as I started Wednesday so 3rd one today but am back at work full time in a reception class currently trying to get them through their nativity. Is anyone else working? I had to return as I used my 6 months full pay up due to massive wound problems. I had a therapeutic mammoplasty and had blood supply issues so two huge open areas. Chemo delayed until wounds smaller but then that also halted healing. Finally, after having op on 29th February, my wound was completely healed 5 weeks ago. However I do find work a brilliant distraction. The thing I’m struggling with is that after months of appointments, sometimes daily but at least twice weekly, I’d reached a point of no visits and although it’s only been 4 weeks of ‘normality’ it’s really hit me again starting rads.
Plus I’m shattered from demanding job anyway then hospital visits on top.
I have been told about Radiance gel. Just Google Radiance radiotherapy treatment. My surgeon swears by it. It’s not available on prescription but when he worked in another area all the women used it. It was only £20 and one tub should last. It’s really cooling and soothing.
Sorry for the me, me, me post. I promise to be a better buddy.
Love and hugs xx
Bottyboo, me, me, me is allowed on here, so feel free. Besides, we’re really interested in other women’s s BC experience, unlike other people we can relate to it.
Your wound healing issue sounds completely horrendous. Nine months to heal? I had a therapeutic mammoplasty as well, I thought I had wound healing issues because it wasn’t healed in four weeks in time for a re excision. I just can’t imagine what that must have been like.
This is a really busy time of year in a reception class, it’s going to be tough running that alongside the rads. Do you have to carry on the rads past Christmas?
There’s something wrong with a system that forces you back to work full time when you’re still recovering from the surgery and wound problems and from chemo, and now have rads, that’s just gruelling.
I’ll be keeping my fingers crossed that the rads go fine for you, drop in when you can and tell us how things are. And if things are tough, we still want to hear it, no stiff upper lip required!