Went for planning meeting for Radiotherapy as specialist hospital not my local one
had to take transport and did arrive very easy 11.45 for 1.30 appt but it is a free service and I don’t mind
nobody in the car even said hello or one word - the man next to me a cold too.
the hospital wasn’t friendly and the first magazine I picked up was Saga - I’m 53 and was by far the youngest person in the place.
saw so many more unwell people than myself and felt very lucky
i felt like a lump of meet on a slab - nothing was explained do nor the staff tell you who they were -
like as we were on a production line - which we are
taxi transport home was quicker and more comfy but was out of the house over 5yrs
i feel so so angry about all of this cancer stuff - cancer life - appointments even the staff at my local hospital are fab and so grateful to them all mostly my partner gets it - another row
I feel so so angry then so so sad then useless then guilty -
then so depressed
I’m not myself at all - feel like I’m losing my mind
Don’t feel guilty that’s what this forum is for, letting off steam to people who understand. Some of the staff are lovely and explain everything and realise that although this every day life for them but terrifying and new to you and unfortunately some just do not. It’s quite natural to have a rollercoaster of emotions. Do you have a cancer support centre nearby where you could talk things through or get some counselling.
Hope you receive better treatment next time. I’ve had s real mix of people for rads most lovely but a few that lack basic communication and compassion
I totally understand how you are feeling Bizzy Lizzy. I’m about to start rads which have been delayed and rescheduled for another week, and my last surgery to get better margins was in Jan, so this is 3 months waiting. I’m besides myself alot of the time, worrying that delays will make the cancer cells come back.
The cancer centre staff do their best but waiting room is always packed and stressful.The delays and waiting are hard to bear…started Letrozole but after a month felt so unwell, painful joints and suicidal feelings that I stopped taking them.
Some days, I think it’s a waste of time having the rads, dreading having issues with my skin, and more anxiety.
My breast care nurse was quite detached and cold, surprising really, made out that Breast cancer was like having diabetes and was totally manageable?!..she understimated the tumour size being 3 times in size and a higher grading, so after my first meeting with her I felt as if I should not worry as it was ‘only’ a grade 1 tumour and needed a lumpectomy. I work in social care and couldn’t believe her attitude towards me, as if it was going to be an easy journey?
Anyway, tuesday my rads begin, so rant over now, feeling so isolated as usual.