Dear
ladies,
Since
September last, and 5 years after the longed NED, I’ve been dealing with
depression and PSD. A number of things such us; investigation for possible
mets, finishing Tamoxifen and prophylactic bilateral oophorectomy, have caused
my steep fall into this murky waters. I’ve been off sick from work since then
and, being completely honest, I have no desire of returning. I don’t feel
I can’t work full time and, I can’t survive on a part time wages. I have chronic
fatigue, chemo brain and PSD. So far, nobody seems to care about the
devastating effects of the aftermaths of cancer. The unrealistic expectations
of employers, colleague and friends and, maybe my own, really puzzled me. I am
expected to come back to work with a phase return but, just the idea, makes me
sick to the chore. I find job quite tiring and stressful and, I don’t think I
can’t cope with those demands any more. I know that any kind of
adjustments they will make at my workplace, will be just a fantasy, expecting
me to go full throttle shortly after. The shits, the schedules, the waste of
time in the journey …… I just can’t face it. I’ve been working 6 days a week,
I’ve been doing 10 hours sifts and my employer has found completely normal to
place those demands on me, knowing my history. I am struggling with all of this and seriously thinking of
resigning.
I
guess I am not the only one in this situation so, pls ladies, tell me about
your experiences and how do you deal with it.
Hi Happy, sorry to hear that you are struggling with things so much. I am at the beginning of my journey and have had to change things quite a bit in my life after the diagnosis, surgery and the start of chemo. I am working during my treatment and will have to continue to do so for financial reasons. But, I am realistic to know that I cannot do what I did before at the moment. My company is small so the pressures on my colleagues is something I am aware of even though I work from home on days when I can’t get out of bed or off the sofa.
I would talk to the McMillan team at your hospital. They may be able to give you some guidance about how you can approach your employer to make some changes. Being off for a long time makes things seem even more scary but you might be surprised with the response from your company if you go to them with some positive and proactive suggestions about coming back.
Just try and take things one step at a time. Sorry I can’t offer any further advice but hope this helps in some way. Sara B