Really really scared now!

Hi My1U

Goig for scans and waiting for the results is something that I feel I am looking forward to but simultaneously dreading. I tell myself that there is no point in worrying as it wil make no difference to the outcome but it is very hard to do.

Thinking positive thoughts for you for next week.

Sue x

Hi My1U

Glad you are not going to have too long to wait for scan and results. Wishing you loads of luck you certainly deserve some good news. Will be thinking of you.

Anne xx


I’ll be thinking of you on Tuesday & have everything crossed for you…I’m hoping you do get a surprise tho…a pleasant one!!

I finish rads tomorrow & will have my lumpy neck (& the rest of me) scanned in around 5 weeks! Trying to put it all to the back of my mind until then…the prospect of more chemo doesn’t bare thinking about does it?!


Hi ladies,

Thanks for all your kind words, supports and good wishes. I’ve survived the week … with the help of paracetamol for headaches undoubtedly caused by all those stresses!

Trying to keep myself busy with reading, watching films, walking in the parks near where I live, etc. to keep my mind off things. And I’ve got something better to look forward to… I’m going to get my laptop delivered to me on Fri so that I can start working-from-home after Easter. At least that’s a bit of normality back in my life!

Thanks, I couldn’t have done it without you!

Hayz - hope your scan goes well, too.


Hi m1yu
Good luck with the scans tomorrow although it’s the waiting for results that’s worse than the scans themselves. You sound like you’re getting yourself organised which is good and keeping busy. Keep us updated and wishing you well for your new treatments of Zoladex (ouch - I remember the needle only too well!) and AI’s.
Nicky x

Just a note to wish you good luck for your CT and MRI scans tomorrow. Fingers and toes crossed that you don’t get the bad news that you fear.

Am pleased that you will get the results on Wednesday as waiting for scan results is what I always find so so difficult.

Let us know how you get on,

Hope the scans have gone smoothly today m1yu and that the results aren’t as bad as you fear tomorrow. Thinking of you.

Kay x

Hi ladies,

Thanks sooo much for the latest good wishes.

I’ve surprised myself that I’ve survived and this time tomorrow I’ll have the results!!!

The scans went OK apart from a little scare: after everything is done, was told to wait a little bit so that they can make sure I’m OK to go home!!! Starting to wonder maybe my onc knew something I didn’t. But after a 20 minutes wait (felt like 20 hours), was given 2 CDs with the scan results on them and I’m OK to go. Yes, I’ll need to give those 2 CDs to my onc when I see him tomorrow and he can tell me what’s what. So, I’ll definitely know the results tomorrow!!!

Oh, those 2 CDs felt sooo heavy. Will report back tomorrow.

Tare care all & thanks for the support. xxx

Hi M1yu

Glad you got the scans over and done with and great that you will know results tomorrow instead of the horrible waiting.

Thinking of you and sending cyber vibes for good results.

Love Anne xx

Good luck with your results. I’m having my scan on Friday - in a state of permanent nervous tension. I really hope you have a positive result. Fingers crossed for us all.

Alison x

Hi ladies,

I’m so sorry to let you know that all your good wishes have vanished into thin air.

Not only do the scan results reveal progression, it also revealed liver mets, even though there are “only 2 small areas which is less than 5% of the whole liver”. This is the surprise I’ve feared in the last few days!!!

So, all those hormonal treatment plans have been scrapped and I’m going to have FEC chemo!!! Oh man, having tamoxifen was such a BIG mistake!!!

Sorry, I’m still in shock…


Hi again - so sorry to hear this and you must be in shock but FEC can do its stuff- many will have very good results to tell you about - my liver mets are very extensive - i think two small is very promising for treatments … and there are lots of options…take care and much love , jayne x

Hi m1yu

So sorry to hear that you have liver mets. I too had that body blow diagnosis in October but the chemo I have had has begun to work to shrink them and I have good reason to hope that my scan results later this month will show that they have reduced even more. I too had two small mets in my liver, also lots dotted in my lungs and the worst bits in my spine.

I know when I started my first chemo this time 3 years ago I thought I would never get through it but I did, and I have just got through another 6 lots of chemo for my secondaries. The time will pass and you will feel c…p but you will get through it. It is always better once the treatment starts and you feel like you are doing something.

Hugs to you, Sue xx

Sending you a virtual hug.

Alison x

So sorry to hear that it was bad news…{{{hugs}}} I really hope that the FEC chemo is kind to you and that you see good shrinkage…

Theresa x

Hi m1yu,
Just seen your post and so sorry to hear your news but really hoping that FEC does its stuff and shrink the uggers.
Looking forward to seeing you on Friday.
Much love and hugs,

Anne xx

Hi m1yu,

I’m really sorry to hear your news. Please don’t be too harsh about the decision to have tried tamoxifen, it does work for so many and the only way of finding out if it’s going to do it for you is to try.

I was dx with primary and liver and lung mets in Jun 09, bones added by Nov. I had Taxol chemo which worked well on the liver (80% tumour reduction) and then had three months with zoladex and Arimidex. Three months was the expected “test” time to allow everything to settle and give it a chance to work if it was going to. It didn’t and I’m now back on chemo (Adriamycin).

The plan is that if this chemo knocks things back and makes them behave it will be worth trying another AI (I’m er+) to see if a different one works.

My onc reassures me he has plenty of options left for him to chose from and he wants to keep me ticking over as long as possible so I can have the pleasure of messing up the statistics!

Don’t give up hope, as you can see from the posts here there are many of us in a similar position. We all seem to have different results with different treatments. Of course it’s horrible when one doesn’t work, but I always feel that for me it’s better to know it’s been tried and failed rather than never tried at all.

Good luck with your chemo, I have everything crossed that it does the trick and you can then find the right maintenance treatment.

Best wishes,

Bad Fairy x

Thanks bad fairy for your reply.

I suppose tamoxifen has been given a fair trial and now for me it has received a death sentence! My onc told me because it’s not working at all so no need to take it and suffer the SE. So, I’m going to be left with nothing until chemo starts on 30th April, not knowing how much worse the liver mets will get during this time. I’m in utterly disbelief that bc has spread so fast in the last 4 months, kept on asking my onc whether it could be something else.

It wasn’t very helpful that my normally “laid back” onc sounded so concerned. He said that liver is a very useful organ and we’ll need to keep a close eye on it. If it doesn’t respond well and grows further, I’ll be running out of choices because it won’t be able to process the toxins of the chemo and other treatments. That’s just too much info and I couldn’t bear thinking about the what ifs.

In the meantime, I think I’ll need to prepare myself and get ready for chemo VS breast cancer round 2!!! I’m not going to just hand over my life on a plate yet. Will be visiting the “Anyone else with liver secondaries?” thread for more info and support.

Thanks a lot


Hi M1yu

I respond with empathy when I say I know how shocked and terrible you must be feeling. As Jayne and Sue say you can have fabulous results from chemo and there are lots of treatments. People have great results (I did) and quality of life can be largely unaffected.

Doesn’t really help to know though does it? I suppose its the fear of what will work, how well, how quickly, for how long for you. Learning to live with ‘its back’, what that means for you, for your family. It can be horrendous getting to grips with it all - I take a lot of comfort reading the day to dayness of the ins and outs of the other secondry folks’ lives. Seeing how they adapt, cope and get on. Even when not recieving a direct response or peice of advise I find reassurance and comfort in the ‘normalness’ of their approaches to their own and other’s needs.

I’ve just had a recent diagnosis of reocurrance in my liver and new secondaries in my pelvic bone after being NED for best part of 12 months… I think I struggled more with the recent diagnosis than any of the previous - It was so hard thinking it was back… I struggled most to find a level and get my balance back with this one and it took a few weeks. Changed from tamaxofen to Femara and started bondranat. Deffered chemo as will wait to see what success femara brings. That was a tough decision as my instinct is to blast it but i know its the right decision for now. I’m still a bit tearful though - but strangely when I’m doing things I enjoy, particularly enjoying good times with my family. And weirdly loud happy music is sure to send me reaching for a tissue - what’s that all about!

I hope that you are starting to adapt to your new diagnosis, take your time and try npt to pressure yourself in to being okay (I do me…) and that the FEC is really kind to you and nasty and effective on ridding those cancer cells
Best wishes
Love L x x

PS. Tomaxofen didn’t work or stopped working for me too. She said it only needed an ever so slight change on the receptor of the cancer cell and tamoxafen would stop working. Plus my onc told me that it may not have grown so quickly but just may not have been big enough to pick up on the previous scan I had x x