Hi all
I’ve recently been diagnosed with grade 3 breast cancer and in for lumpectomy in few weeks. That bit doesnt completely terrify me but the chemo to follow does. I watched my dad go through chemo and whilst I know it differs from one to another he was so poorly. I have 2 children, 17 & 14 and the thought of seeing them the way I saw my dad is too much to deal with. I’m trying to take one step at a time but I am the sort of person that has to get my head around things and then i can deal with them. I am just after any info as to what to expect (the non flowered up version please!) and any useful advice to deal with it.
Bev xx
Oh Bev you must be devastated. I know I was. It’s particularly hard because you don’t get any warning of what’s coming your way. It’s like a gut punch & you’re facing 9 months of your life taken over by it all. I was grade 3 too & HER+, so had to have chemo, which I recently finished. You will have a few bad days just after treatment (on FEC) & a few days later (on T). It’s mainly a collection of slightly unpleasant things like nausea, bad taste in your mouth, ulcers for some & generally feeling a bit lethargic & knackered/hungover. Oh & toilet trouble. Some seem very constipated, others go the other way. It is a sort of endurance test of general grottiness for 5 months BUT you will have times when you feel perfectly OK. I did sport throughout, so not THAT bad. It’s nothing you can cope with it’s just blo*dy boring! There are other more unpleasant things, like being hospitalised for infections that got out of control when your immune system is low, but if you go a bit OCD germs & run a mile from ill people/sanitise your hands the whole time, you can avoid it (even when the children/OH bring something home). Good luck with it all. Read the chemo thread or 2 before you & you will get the idea of what happens to most of us. Also, of course, the hair loss (one of the hardest things). All the best. xx
Bev really sorry you have found your way here. I can’t offer advice about chemo but can appreciate how you feel as the cancer diagnosis is a bloomin awful on its own but in my case it was going to be straightforward surgery and rads but now the chemo card has been thrown in and I am feeling quite she’ll shocked, my children are 10.
My mums had chemo for lymphona and although she had some not so good days she managed ok so I am holding on to that. Good luck.
Hi Bev,
First of all, so sorry about your diagnosis, I know how frightened you feel. I too was diagnosed with grade 3 HER+ BC and went through chemo and radiotherapy. Most people have 3 FEC v 3 TAX, however, I had 6xFEC. I was absolutely terrified about starting chemo, after reading all the horror stories, and watching things on TV, and, in fact, took the news I required chemo worse than I took the news about having cancer - but I think a lot of people think like that because the first thing you think of is losing your hair.
Chemo is not a pleasant thing to go through, there is no denying that, but, what I will say, is that it is manageable. No matter what side effects you will suffer from, you will be given medication to help with the symptoms. I managed to stay at work throughout my chemo, and that, for me, is what kept me going. Yes, you don’t feel great, but being at work was what kept my sanity throughout it all, I wanted to keep life as normal as I possibly could.
The major side effects for me were the nausea, the horrible metallic taste in my mouth, and the mouth ulcers. Week 1 after chemo was the worst, I picked up in week 2 (even although that is when your immune system is at its lowest) and was back to feeling normal in week 3.
It is one of the most scariest things you can ever go through, but you will get through it.
Loads of love
Xxx
Hi Bev, just found my way on here at 6am in the morning… Can’t sleep, was diagnosed with BC yesterday after the results of a core biopsy, which at first I was told looked nothing to worry about! I too am petrified, more so for 9 year old daughter who worries about anything to do with my health (more so because I’m on my own with her). I don’t really know too much about my BC and they have said they won’t really be able to grade it until after surgery. Not sure if that’s normal or not? It does help to hear that you’re not alone and I imagine I’ll probably be a regular visitor to this site now. Take care, Beccy xxx
Hi Jo, thank you so much for your lovely reply, it really means alot to know there are a whole network of people here that are willing to offer a friendly ear xx
Hi Beccy, sorry you found your way here and although it feels a pretty s#^t position to be in the forum is a fabulous place for info and support. In many ways were you are now is one of the most difficult times as you don’t have all the information or a plan and you torture yourself with every horrible scenario you can (well I did lol). As has been said sometimes grade is available from the biopsy but this can change following surgery and staging is done when all the results are in.
Ask anything you need someone will always be able to support x
Hi Bev, Jane, Helly & Carol, sorry I haven’t responded earlier. I keep thinking I’ll receive some kind of email notification if someone comments on something but that doesn’t appear to happen! Thank you for all your kind words of support. I’m coping much better now than i was on Wednesday & Thursday. I managed to see my GP on Thursday & got some sleeping pills & beater blockers for my anxiety but I only used them on Thursday and haven’t felt the need to use them again since. I think you just need a couple of days to come to terms with it. You start to realise as well that there are actually a lot of people in the same boat as you. I have an MRI scan this Thursday & a clinic appointment for all my test results & treatment plan on 6th April. I’ve also been told I’ll get a letter through the post about a CT scan. The only thing they could tell me was that from the initial biopsy it appears to be a ductal BC. I had a further biopsy done on a lymph node & another area of breast tissue they were concerned about, along with a mammogram so it’s just a waiting game now until 6th. Like you said I’ll probably feel better once I know what’s what and I have a treatment plan. Thank you for all the advice. I’ve decided not to tell my daughter the full extent of it until I know what’s happening on the 6th. Lots of love to you all & happy Easter btw! xxxxxxxx
Jane, excellent news, onwards and upwards :).
Be x, hope you had some quality time over easter, we didn’t tell the children the picture until we knew what the plan was. We have been honest in an age appropriate way including not promising things that we can’t guarantee.
Hi Helly et al! Easter was good thanks, managed to stuff a bit of chocolate in between the dark leafy greens! I have the results of my further biopsies, mammogram & MRI tomorrow. I also have a CT scan tomorrow so hope to be able to come away with a treatment plan & be able to feel a bit more positive! I’ve decided to tell my daughter tomorrow after getting the results which will actually be a relief as I’m sure she knows that something it up as everyone keeps being so nice to me!
Glad to hear you don’t have it go through chemo Jane, hope all goes ok with the other test. How are things with you Bev? xxxxx
Bex good luck for today, you are right kids pick up on things, i think it frightens them more when they know somethings going on which is why I think it’s best to be honest with them when you have your plan and you a clearer where your going.
I went to the maggies centre after pre assessment the other day and somone said that a number of ladies had decided not to tell their children, each to their own but I couldnt have managed that.
Thanks Helly, my first surgical appointment seemed quite positive. Even though I was told there were several areas of cancer within the breast & I would need a mastectomy, the biospy from the enlarged lymph node was clear & also bloods normal. Although it was enlarged she did say this could have been from the breast biopsies or the recent cold I’d had. I had an appointment with the oncologist after that & he said that even with the CT scan he couldn’t give me a guarantee that I didn’t have any other cancer anywhere else & that normal blood test results didn’t necessarily indicate that it wasn’t anywhere else. He also said that it was a small biospy of one lymph node & it could still have been in other lymph nodes & contrary to what I had been told my a doctor a couple of weeks ago, the BC can still spread without going through the lymph nodes! Had CT scan & BC nurse agreed to call me with results as couldn’t bare to wait for another appointment in clinic. The person who did the CT scan didn’t say anything to me apart from confirming that I had a follow up appointment but I felt that was a awkward silence & maybe something else has shown up. Really worried now about these CT results xxxxxxx
Hi Sue, thank you for taking the time to reply and for providing that link for me. I do have a BC nurse who I saw today before the oncology appointment & she was very helpful & informative. Feel like a wimp as I know we’re all going through it but sometimes it helps just to vent your worries, fears & anxieties. It is so reassuring to have lovely people like you here to listen when I’m having a wobble! xxxxx
Oh bex there is nothing worse than getting conflicting info it just adds to the stress and worry. However, as someone has already said this means the road to recovery may/may not have a few bends along the way.
Until the surgery you don’t have a clear idea of the final picture and whilst waiting for the cat results adds to the torture it gives another piece ho the plan to allow you to make informed decisions about surgery/management. Post surgery (area turned out much bigger with node involvement) My surgeon was very clear that he didn’t think that further surgery (I have 2 further areas of calcification) would benefit and that rads to the axilla rather than clearance was appropriate. When I got to the oncologist he was of a different opinion (apparently it got very heated st he mdt), in the end we agreed to park the discussion until a bug further down the line and get thd the chemo strarted, very frustrating though.
Do you have a date fir surgery yet? Sending a hug x