Hi all, Just reaching out for a bit of support from those going through something similar. I’ve been recently diagnosed with breast cancer - ER PR +, Grade 2, and micrometastises in 1 lymph node. I’ve already had 4 biopsies (3 on my left breast, and 1 lymph node), as there were calcifications and a fibroma also in my left breast (both which are benign) as well as the cancer. My operation is booked for the 14th Jan, but the surgical plan is not yet confirmed. Saw the surgeon before Xmas, and he isnt sure if he can get a good cosmetic outcome with lumpectomy because my breast is small, and there is no fat to help reconstruct. So he says I am borderline conservable, and might need a mastectomy 
. He says he will lift and reduce my right breast to match the left one at the same time - aesthetic outcome is very important to me - dont want to look shit when all this is over - but they MRI’d my breasts (apparently very dense so dont show up well on mammogram or ultrasound) and now I have to have biopsy on right breast on Friday. I’m really panicking that I will end up with a mastecomy for a 3cm lump which feels extreme…. anyone have similar experience?
Hi @diagnosed51. Welcome to the forum, we hope you find it a helpful and supportive place.
I am sorry to hear what you’re going through.
I thought this thread may be useful from people sharing their experiences leading up to their operations: Operation Due - Going through breast cancer treatment / Surgery - Breast Cancer Now forum
If you have any questions in the meantime, you can also speak to one of our nurses, reach them on our free helpline 0808 800 6000.
Thinking of you,
Chloe
Thank you - I’ve been reading some of the threads but it’s making me feel more worried to be honest- I thought I was super prepared but people are talking about compression socks and front buttoning clothes and I didn’t know about any of those things - the hospital didn’t tell me any of that
Different hospitals have different rules. Some I’ve done for ease for myself without being told as such.
For my comfort I have button down tops I bought from Primark and pj’s.
The compression socks I’ll get after surgery.
I had to buy my own surgical bra. Not sure if every where does this.
Do you have contact for specialist nurses? Maybe jot some questions down and give them a call?
They may be waiting for all results before finalising.
Sending hugs to you it’s a rollercoaster to navigate x
Thank you - yes I have a contact for the nurses so when I see the surgeon tomorrow and know the full plan then maybe I’ll contact them and ask some more questions. I’m hoping he will tell me tomorrow if lumpectomy is realistic - and why they are now biopsing my right breast as well . If you have operations on both breasts at the same time I’m assuming the recovery is harder…
Hello, it’s a super stressful time for you I’m so sorry you are here with us and going through this. You sound so anxious my heart just goes out to you 
Before I knew my own surgical plan I was exactly the same. I have a family history of breast cancer (my mum who has been treated and is thriving 8, nearly 9 years later) so I just assumed id need mastectomy of both breasts. Infact I was insisting. The surgeon was very good at talking me through all the options, he had to examine me again also to check the size and shape of things. After a lot of discussion he decised he could do a lumpectomy and anything more at this stage would be too much. There was a chance 1 boob might be slightly smaller than the other but not enough to be too concerned about.
So I went in expecting 1 thing, came out confident with what I was being given.
I am sure you will feel some reassurance once you’ve had your meeting. You’ll see it said a lot here but not knowing really is the most difficult part
For my lumpectomy I bought myself a lightweight gown to wear whilst I was waiting for surgery, I had button top pjs so I didn’t need to stretch my arm up or over my head and I wore these home from surgery. I lived in 2 or 3 pairs of these during recovery they were very useful. The hospital put compression socks on me that I kept on and wore till the next day and then I just swapped them for a pair id bought.
I also took with me a flask of ginger tea. This was cold by the time I had it but it definitely helped with my nausea.
Your breast care team will definitely be able to help you with everything though. They might have better suggestions based on what you need personally. They are angels
Thank you. I’ll invest in some button pjs - and get some compression socks…
I’ve been fine since diagnosis In November but now surgery is a week away it feels so scary and real. And the thought of losing my breasts - or how they are now - is really upsetting me. I know I should just care about the cancer being gone but I care more about how this feels like it’s ruining everything else. How I look, how much I feel like a woman, my confidence. I’m dreading taking tamoxifen- everyone I know has had such horrendous side effects and I feel like that’s going to take away my quality of life even after the cancer might be gone. Does that just sound stupid…
All your feelings are completely valid. What you are going through is life changing
My personal concern was that things wouldn’t look even. I didnt want a single mastectomy, it was both or none at all. I didn’t want one boob bigger than the other. After a lot of talks here and with the surgeon I came to accept that I wasn’t going to come out of this unchanged in some way. Id have scars. My boobs would look different. It’s really, really hard to accept but what choice do we have? This is happening now and unfortunately there is nothing we can do about it. Hope for the best but prepare for the worst.
My lump/s (I say lumps because they took out a benign lump behind my cancer. The surgeon said it was like taking out a sausage shape haha usually its more egg shaped) anyway their position meant the surgeons could cut around my nipple. I imagined it being put back wonky or with a thick scary scar around it. I also worried he would change his mind during the surgery and do something else I wasnt prepared for. As always… my thoughts were making things much worse than reality.
I have pale skin and I dont have very dark nipples so one now looks like its been drawn around in a very vivid pinky redish marker pen. Had I known that before I would have been really upset but I really quite like it. My boob is also a different shape. With a bra on no one would know but free range it is a new boob. Again, this would have really upset me before but now I accept it and I am determined to love it, maybe more than my old boob. It went through all of that to save my life. And it is a reminder of what I went through but not in a negative way. I found it! I had it cut out! Considering the alternative it is such a positive thing for me.
Dont be too hard on yourself at the moment for how you feel and mention it all to your surgeon
Oh and the tamoxifen. Ive listened to a few podcasts recently as I’m due to be on this for 10 years. A line from an oncologist yesterday stuck with me. She said the women that accepted they had to be on tamoxifen seemed to have a much easier time side affects wise. This could be some real bulls**t haha but I think our minds are very powerful. Also my mum has been on it 8 years. At first the side effects were quite obvious and she had to make a few changes lifestyle wise but she always said it was better than having breast cancer. All the side effects now have long gone. X
Thank you. Your experience sounds hard but it seems like you are dealing with it so positively…Thank you for all your advice and for sharing. I will mention everything to the surgeon when i see him this afternoon. I am going to see a counsellor tomorrow also - my work are paying for me to have counselling to support me through this. So I hope I can perhaps work through my fears and the fact I am mourning the loss of the body I’ve worked so hard to keep looking how I want for so long. I cry every morning in the shower thinking I am one day closer to losing my breasts as they are now. I’m so scared about losing the feelings in my nipples - thats one of the things that makes you feel most like a woman….my sister says she doesnt care (she had breast cancer 13 years ago) and has no sensation in either breast due to the fact that they moved the nipples when they reconstructed and matched, but I think that is really going to bother me if it happens…
Just take one day at a time
I was expecting complete loss of sensation but let me tell you it has been the opposite! I dont know if its because I kept moving with the exercises or because I massage and oil my arm and chest each day but it has never been more sensitive!
There is an expression my therapist has me repeat sometimes… “where’s the proof?” All my worries are usually what ifs. Furure worries and scenarios I am making up.
Best of luck this afternoon. You’ve got this
Thank you. Back from seeing the surgeon (but not the actual surgeon because he was sick). Still not clear what is happening - they will try one thing, and if they don’t get clear margins they will go back in and do something else. They are going to match the other breast if they can. And say if the one with cancer in ends up too small I can have fat grafting at a later date.
But they found something in the other breast on the mri, so now they need to biopsy that, and that’s not booked till Friday , so if they don’t get the results then they will delay my operation anyway. Because that could be cancer so they’d have to take that out too.
Thought I would have more answers today but actually have more questions 
.
And I now feel like I can’t cope . Work is starting to feel really difficult. So I think even if my operation is delayed, I will stop work next week and just take the time to come to terms with all of this
Hi @diagnosed51
I’m sorry that you find yourself on this forum.
I hear and I understand your fear about needing further biopsies. It happened to me too. My diagnosis of left breast cancer came 14 months ago after my routine screening mammogram. I was also told that I had dense breast tissue and was initially told that I’d likely need breast conserving/ oncoplastic surgery as I would lose 25% of my breast, though I could consider a mastectomy. The following week I saw the surgeon who informed me it was triple positive BC so chemo and targeted therapy required. Timing of this depended on MRI scan results. This revealed it was more extensive in the left one so mastectomy was the only option. The scan also flagged up two anomalies in my right breast. I was gutted. Thought why me then why not me. I underwent MRI guided biopsies at another hospital on NY Eve. Took a late cancellation as why an earth would someone want to drive to North London for invasive tests when the city was gearing up for fireworks and celebrations! 10 days later I saw the surgeon for the results. Biopsies confirmed two small areas of DCIS. My reaction was to chuckle. Of course I’d be the one to have it in both as I never do anything by halves. My gut and my head told me immediately that they both had to go and that was what I asked for. I could have had a lumpectomy and an uplift but I wanted as much breast tissue removed as possible. Having the mastectomy plus no lymph node involvement also meant I didn’t need radiotherapy. Having a bilateral diagnosis of BC made me eligible for genetic testing - this of course had implications for my adult children if something was found. They both said they would want to know as it would influence their decisions about their own lives. Fortunately all was well. I just joined the less than 5% club of having it in both within six months.
A week after my second diagnosis, I started chemo etc. This gave me the luxury of 5 months to mull over my surgical options. I remained resolute in my decision. I had a a double mastectomy with immediate reconstruction with implants towards the end of June. I have a symmetrical pair of replacements and I’m very happy with the result.
The period of time whilst I was undergoing investigations, and the drip feeding of information as the results came in and the changing plan was the hardest part for me. I knew that this was just part of the process to make the best plan specifically for me. I will be eternally grateful that I had the MRI scan and I am thankful that they biopsied the two tiny indeterminate areas in the right one. Surgeon said it was likely that in 3-5 years the DCIS would have become invasive. So whist it was galling having ‘it’ in both, I woukd gave been most likely to have have found myself facing surgery again and possibly more chemo.
I had my surgery 6 weeks after completing the chemo. Just as I was recovering from the chemo and I was beginning to feel more myself, 10 days before my op I tested positive for Covid. It wiped me out for the next week. Surgery went ahead as planned. I awoke from the surgery relieved that ‘it’ had gone.
I think that at the start, because I knew it was a case me or my breasts, I accepted that they had to go as the alternative was a shorter life expectancy. We all have different relationships with our bodies. I felt indifferent about my breasts, they had served their primary function feeding my babies but I acknowledge that for other women it is devastating.
I was given a pair of compression socks to wear prior to surgery. I was told I needed to wear them due a couple of days so I didn’t bother buying any extra ones. I also bought front fastening pyjamas. Much easier to put on, plus I had a drain and PICO dressing pumps in situ for a week. As soon as they were removed I was back in my usual clothes albeit loose tops. I had to wear a support bra day and night for 12 weeks. This helped to keep the implants in place. Also served as a holster as they felt extraordinarily heavy at the beginning! I had very little pain - probably because they are numb. Mild discomfort along wound site under my breasts with the weight shift from sit to stand. All tolerable took prescribed codeine before bed for the first 5 days then switched to paracetamol. Stopped that a week later.
My physical recovery was marred by the cumulative effects of the chemo and Covid. I was deconditioned and felt knackered for the first few weeks. Doing the post op exercises diligently is imperative to prevent cording and frozen shoulder. 6 months on, whilst I’m still having targeted therapy, I’m doing really well.
You’re younger that me if you’re going to have tamoxifen so I’m no help! I’m post menopausal so taking Letrozole. Few hot flushes but nothing compared to my natural menopause where I’d be sweating cobs, have wet hair and damp bed sheets. Feels easy in comparison.
I am not surprised that you’re feeling overwhelmed after today’s appointment. I ploughed on working during the period of investigations but like you, when I was told I needed biopsies of the other one as well I too felt overwhelmed. I took the next day off sick then I has my usual 3 days off. I needed the headspace to allow myself to process that news. I couldn’t concentrate or focus. Whilst work was a distraction I was neither efficient or effective. It’s tough.
When are you having the biopsies? X
Hi @diagnosed51
I wish I could give you a hug right now! There are so many things you have said which really resonated with me and remind me of when I was diagnosed almost two years ago (can’t believe it’s been that long!).
I had other stuff crop up on MRI and surgery was delayed a couple of times for various reasons. There was talk of taking out more, potential mastectomy and all of this threw me into a spin because, like you, I was so scared about everything being ruined afterwards including how I looked. I think we can be almost afraid to say how much our appearance matters because we are expected to be mainly/only concerned about getting the cancer out. But, it’s not that simple. At 46 I knew I had a lot of life ahead of me and I didn’t want that spoiled by how I looked (or at least felt I would look) and I struggled with that. I cried a lot in the shower too. A couple of sessions of counselling really helped put things in perspective so it’s good you have that in place.
The delays and further testing was the worst bit for me and I took a couple of months off work before surgery to wrap my head around it all. Don’t be afraid to take that time off, work will still be there afterwards.
I always jump on and comment when people raise worries about tamoxifen. It’s yet another scary thing and there are so many stories of difficulties. I am in no way negating other people’s challenges, but they are not a given. I have been taking it for a year and a half and have no issues at all. I know I needed to hear some positive experiences when I was first prescribed.
It is possible for life to be great again after cancer. It’s unimaginable when you are in the turmoil of recent diagnosis and waiting for treatment to think so, I get that, I thought life could never be the same again. But, for many many people life goes back to normal. My life, for one, has not been ruined like I feared it would be, if anything it has been enhanced. I genuinely hope that is the case for you too. x
It really is a lot to take in. Try to think of all these tests as a positive thing instead of an extra worry. The more they have a clear map of your boobs, the better they can treat you more personally with exactly the right treatment. That’s what this is all for, treatment. Because breast cancer is treatable
I don’t blame you for not wanting to work but I will say that after your operation you will be in a much longer limbo. The results from the ops take a bit longer. So I am glad I stuck it out and worked up until my op because I’m going a bit stir crazy this side. I couldn’t work now even if I wanted to.
Big hugs keep checking in here with us
Friday at 3pm. Thank you for sharing your story. It’s such a minefield to navigate but it’s good to hear how others are getting through it 
Thank you - and thank you for the virtual hug. It’s so much to deal with but I am starting to learn I can only take it one step at a time
Thank you 
. Yes I know I will probably go stir crazy afterwards -