I was diagnosed on 23rd December, managing to stay really positive, but not sure how I am supposed to react, do people expect me to be a quivering wreck? Is it ok to feel in control? Just back from appointment about reconstruction, what’s the best option, how do you make the decision, so many questions in my head.
Hi Redbev
Welcome to the BCC discussion forums, you’ve come to the right place for some good, honest support from the many informed users of this site, who I am sure will be along soon to help.
In the meantime I have put for you below links to some of BCC’s publications you might find helpful.
www2.breastcancercare.org.uk/publications/treatment-side-effects/breast-reconstruction-bcc7
I hope this helps. Take care,
Jo, Moderator
Hello Redbev xx welcome, sorry you have a diagnosis but really glad you are moving forward on a treatment plan - you will find support, giggles and the quivering wreck ( I have been all I think!) on these forums - usually a combination of all depending on the day !!!x it’s great that you feel in control and I am way beyond over thinking how people expect as half the time I et emotions that I haven’t been expecting myself ! How ver to your question - I am having a double mx on Monday - initially I was ‘new boobs’ please but then when it was explained about all the different types and process I have decided to delay - it gives me time to get rid of cancer ( I hope) and then think through reconstruction possibilities at a later date when I personally hope to have better head space. I might even be very accepting of flat n fab - who knows?!! But for others the idea of not having anything there is too much psychologically and I am equally supportive of anyone who does immediate recon - just be aware that you may have a slightly longer hosp stay ( but then get it over with in one go)… It is swings and roundabouts - you might get some answers in the surgery area as there are a lot of people who have done reconstruction at different stages x I hope you got some answers at your meeting today - you’re right there’s a lot to think about - I can’t pretend to be totally ok with no immediate reconstruction but know 100% that it is the right decision for me at this time ( as contradictory as that sounds!)
I think it’s fantastic that you feel so in control, and long may it last. Do I take it you need a mastectomy?
I’d jot down all the questions as they come to you and speak to your BCN in a couple of days. I don’t think they rush anyone into making a decision.
I’ve always had uneven boobs, and I’m quite keen on having them levelled up in a year or so; I could be the catwalk model I always dreamed of being - NOT!
Your attitude and outlook is fabulous. Don’t worry if it slips sometimes, you can’t be wonder woman all the time. Best of luck with everything. I’m hopeless at following the threads as there seem to be so many, but if I don’t get to wish you luck again then GOOD LUCK!
Gill
Hi, people do expect a quivering wreck, but really who can maintain that energy level? :)
It does suck but most if the time seems be something you just get through. I found other people far more upset outwardly than myself. Having said that ive had some major meltdowns, it sneaks up on you.
On the reconstruction question, my surgeon advised me to wait until all my chemo and radiation was done as 1.longer healing time, wanted to get on with it 2. The treatments are not great on reconstruction sites, can damage implants. So I followed along, now im lopsided and its ok, I had a single mastectomy 12th dec its easier than you expect in many ways.
The nurses are good at answering questions, so are the women on here. I think you have to trust the medical staff ad they are in it to win too. Xx
I think its fine to feel in control, it doesnt change who you are , its just a medical procedure. I thought it was because I was in denial but if you’re practical anyway then thats just how you deal with things.
Xxx
Here is where we dont need our brave face to handle everyone elses emotions.
Hi everyone, I was diagnosed on Christmas Eve we managed to get through christmas I am having surgery on Friday feeling very anxious xxx
Hi Bumblebee2 and welcome to the BCC forums
Along with the help and support you will find here our helpliners are on hand 9-5 weekdays and 10-2 Saturdays on 0808 800 6000, please feel free to call for further practical and emotional support
Here’s a link to further support ideas from BCC and surgery/treatments information which you may find helpful:
breastcancercare.org.uk/treatment
Take care
Lucy BCC
Thanks Gill I’m just looking at my letter it’s all very confusing it says it’s invasive duct all carcinoma I don’t even know what it means I’ve been trying to read all the info but just doesn’t seem to go in!!! They’ve told me after the surgery I will need chemo and radiotherapy and possibly the hormone therapy and herceptin xx
Thanks for the hugs
Hi Beverly and Gill im still trying to work this site at the mo ha ha co have been reading lots of the comments and like you said Beverly what a bunch of strong women x sorry about you diagnoses 2 Beverly what type do you have? Gill I have invasive ductal carsinoma they have told me I have to have chemo and radiotherapy after and possibly hormone therapy and herceptin but I’m not sure I think they’ll decide on that after my surgery xxx
Hi gill wow your so positive and strong your an inspiration to us all I think I’m positive a lot of the time but then other times I just can’t switch my brain off x is it normal for my scars to still sting on day 4 after my op x I get my results on 4th feb so only a couple of weeks to go! Have you had any treatment after your op at all then??
Love andrea xx
Hi rose thanks so much I have ordered some of the booklets so hoping they will come in the next few days that’s great you don’t have to have chemo! More surgery I guess is a little easier as you’ve been there before
Love andrea xx
I really do think all of us on here are allowed to moan once in a while at least we all know what we’re moaning about x hmmm I’m finding my scars very sore today and feel quite sick but to be expected I guess x fingers crossed for you on Monday I’m sure you’ll be fine you’ve come this far ? likewise please let us all know how you get on
Love andrea xx
Evening all *said in best Dixon of Dock Green voice but hardly any of you are old enough to know who that is*
Hope you lovely ladies are doing OK today? Loubilou I hope today was OK, do let us know how you are doing 
I love how you ladies always find an up-side to everything. Mine is that if I have to have chemo and lose my hair I’m not going to wear a wig as I’m told they are hot and uncomfortable (although I might ask a barrister friend if I can borrow his occasionally just for the fun of it). I’m going to have some funky temporary tattoos done like the intricate henna ones that you can have on your hands, but in brighter colours. I think that a sort of 60s flower power vibe would be great and make a virtue out of a hairless head 
Anyone found an up-side to having lopsided boobs yet that they’d care to share because that’s the one that’s been on my mind today?
xxx
Sharon
You lot are fantastic without even saying how I’m feeling today you’ve all cheered me up just reading your amazingly strong and courageous comments ?xx thankyou xxx
Hahaha, you are all completely brilliant! Never would have thought of the cake crumb collecting point Sandie and frankly, with the amount of chocolate biscuits I plan to comfort eat that’s a really good one! We’re a colourful bunch aren’t we what with our neon boobs and rainbow hair plans! I think it’s great that we can all be so open about having cancer as I hate this whole thing where some people treat it as a taboo subject, it just makes it even more scary than it needs to be.
Beryl you must be so pleased to have such a lovely event to work towards, are you growing all the flowers for the wedding? Sounds like a big task and should keep you busy. Your swollen boob/popping buttons comment made me laugh out loud as I already have HUGE boobs so if they swell I’ll be a lethal weapon!
Love to you all
xx
Sharon
Got my surgery date 11th Feb. I have decided on a LD flap reconstruction. I have 2 invasive duct carcinoma and they are going to also clear the lympnodes as a precaution. Don’t know yet if I will need Radiotherapy or Chemotherapy until after surgery. Feeling really positive. I have great faith in my consultant and her team. She very kindly allowed me to still go away next week for a couple of days. Hope everybody is doing well with where you are up to in your journey. Stay positive and strong ladies.x