Recently informed and waiting the next stage!

Hello Everyone

well where to start…found a lump 11 days ago. Sent to clinic 6 days ago where Dr stated it was a cyst…elated ? Had mammogram same day followed by scan. Sonographer told me it wasn’t a cyst and looked sinister. Had biopsy there n then. TBH I knew it was BC before the results. 

Mc Nurse called me For a visit 4days ago and told my husband and I it was BC and next step was MA meeting today where I would be discussed. Had call and been invited to speak to surgeon in 3days…scary **bleep**…in 3 days…scary **bleep**. 

All I know is it’s 3cm and BC. Have to say the fear of the unknown has well and truly messed with my head. I have waves of uncontrollable tears and anxiety followed by sheer panic. What on earth. I am uaually a very strong stubborn person and I feel completely out of control. I am convinced I am going to be told it’s terminal not curable. Now had a call to see a surgeon in 3days… But I still feel uninformed. Is this normal? I have no idea what grade, type, impact, treatment…I really think I am loosing my mind. Trying to stay positive and focused but it is very hard on us all. My son has recently moved abroad till next year and I can’t bear the thought of him packing his job in and coming home.

can someone please help me?

 

I was the same on holiday with my sister in Spain when I found it. Within two weeks saw BCNurse then surgeon within two weeks had mastectomy and now started chemo. To be honest we were so shocked we felt we did not get time to ask enough questions especially when oncologist asked me why they had done a mastectomy. We were so scared we just said ok. Please write all your queries down then you do not forget. My daughter said mine was removed quickly as it was fast growing how she knows we do not know she is a nurse!!! We were never actually told that too late now op done and I have to live with it. Good luck on this long awful journey. X Val

Hi October,

 

It really blows your socks off when you’re first told you have cancer. But I can tell you that the way you are feeling now is perfectly normal. I can so vividly remember being where you are now. I was so scared and thought I’d be gone by Christmas. However, once I’d had my meeting with my surgeon and had a treatment plan in place, I started to calm down. All that was almost two years ago for me. I’ve been through two surgeries, chemo and radiotherapy since then, and finished active treatment a year last month. The main thing you can do just now is be kind to yourself. You need time to come to terms with your diagnosis, so if you want to cry, sit down and bawl your eyes out. This is the time when you can think stuff everyone else and be utterly selfish. I remember the confusion, the blind panic and the feeling of being completely alone. Even when I was in a room full of people. I’m sure that most people who have a cancer diagnosis feel this way, so please don’t think that you’re going mad. It’s actually really good that you’re seeing your surgeon so auickly as you’ll soon realise that the worst part of this journey is waiting for information. As Val has already said, write down questions to ask before going in to see your surgical team. I think that this forum has a “questions to ask” section, so you may well want to read that. Also, please give the helpline a call. The lovely people at BCC are so good at listening to your fears and giving advice. When I was first diagnosed I used it al the time. Would phone a blubbering mess but put the phone down in a much more positive frame of mind. Sending big hugs your way, and remember that you’re never alone. There are lots of us who have been where you are who can give whatever advice we can. And once you have your treatment plan, you can make contact with people who will walk each step with you as you go through treatment. Take care Ann x x 

Hi October25,

I feel your pain. I’ve had a lump for 1.5yrs, it started off small and had it checked out initially and as nothing showed in the ultrasound I was told not to worry and it was put down to being a fibroadenoma. Anyway, a few months ago I noticed it had got bigger, but as I’d gone back on the pill I initially put it down to the hormones. However it has been playing on my mind and something didn’t seem right, so I went back to my GP a few weeks ago. He had a feel and said he was sure it wasn’t cancer as it didn’t feel like a cancerous lump, but he said he’d refer me to the clinic anyway so as to reassure me as I suffer quite badly with health anxiety. A few days after seeing him, a second lump appeared under my arm, went to see a different GP who believed it was a swollen lymph gland. I immediately went into panic mode and was lucky so get seen by the breast clinic later that week. The nurse consultant remembered me from my earlier visit and was also worried. She managed to get me a mammogram, ultrasound and biopsy for a few days later, a pretty traumatic experience, and one I’m still feeling sore and bruised from now. I had a feeling it would be BC and last Thursday that was confirmed to me by the consultant. It’s grade 2 and I need to have a scan to make sure it hasn’t spread elsewhere via the lymph node. I know that I will defo have to have chemo, an op to remove the lump and radio. Today I found out that it’s hormones positive, which according to the nurse is a good thing. I’m finding it hard to stay focused and positive, so you’re not alone there. Have you been allocated a breast cancer nurse yet? They should be able to give you more of an idea. This forum has been a godsend to me over the last two weeks and there are some fantastic ladies on here who can offer help and support and an ear to listen to. Sissy xx

Thank you for taking the time to acknowledge my post ladies.

My word how I relate to your replies and can’t quite believe others feel the same as me…this is my worst fear come true…a day at a time is how I’m intending to take it. I have been ok all weekend but when I got the call re the surgeon this afternoon it suddenly felt very real and completely overwhelmed. Please can I ask, will the surgeon give me the type and grade etc? 

Positive Paula x

The biopsy results will tell you what type and grade it is, also of its hormone receptive or not. Based on that they should be able to give you a treatment plan. I think in most cases it’s a lumpectomy or mastectomy then radiology and in some cases chemo as well. I can honestly say the last couple of weeks have been the worst I’ve ever had. I’m 35yrs old and naively thought this happened to ladies older than me. I’m so lucky to have a supportive husband and family. Make sure you lean on people of you need to and there are also these forums to help you. Sissy xx

Yes Paula, your surgeon should be able to give you the grade of your cancer and its type (eg ductal or lobular) and whether your cancer is hormone positive or not from your biopsy. I think that HER status may take a little longer. He/she may also be able to give you an outline of expected treatment. My cancer was 3.7 cm of invasive lobular cancer with no node involvement. Don’t worry if you feel like the lump is getting larger. Most of us are the same post biopsy. I thought mine had doubled in size, but it was just the biopsy site healing. Take care and big hugs Ann x x

Girls thank you you fill me with hope. 

Went fo see surgeon today…think I have this right…it all feels a blur ?

Hormone reseptive positive. 80% proliferation…options are…because defo got to have chemo, want to try to save my breast so have suggested chemo first to start 2wks tomorrow. If the tumour shrinks enough could remove with lumpectomy followed by radio n hormone tablets…if it doesn’t shrink then mastectomy followed by tablets. Lymph nodes appear clear on scan. I believe that’s good. What freaks me is the speed this has developed…feels quite literally over a few days…I think I understand but there’s so much to take in…keep thinking am going to wake up from a bad dream. I am trying to stay positive and strong but I can’t help thinking the worst. Listening to you lovely ladies is helpful and makes me feel this emotional roller coaster is normal and ok…

have to view this as a break from my life/work for the next year which isn’t a long time in the grand scheme of things I suppose, I thought it would only be 6 month n I could get back to school ?

How careful do you have to be with chemo ladies. Told I can’t go to work as I would be around children. What about family…would they be OK to visit? Sorry so many uncertainties xx