Reversal of Roles

Reversal of Roles

Reversal of Roles Just found this wonderful site and was wondering if anybody else has the same experience. My Mum ( a youthful 70 ) had a mammogram which when i went with her to get results diagnosed BC, now awaiting WE. Since then i feel the roles have been reversed and i’m like the parent , always keeping her so positive and upbeat - which i don’t begrudge as she is amazing! I know she gets so down, so i can’t let her see how affected i am, just feel like crying when i get home but that’s hard as don’t want to upset my child, so i do that in private when no one else can see.

Amie my daughter mothered me when I had mastectomy and after. It amused her beloved! I used to expect her to wrap me in my shawl and put me in the pram.
4 years later she got br ca too so now we mother and smother each other. This works because I hear those things we all should know and never get told as the younger womens’ network ferrets them out. Plus what I learn about tackling probs later along the line goes in her mental filing cabinet in case she ever needs it- though I pray she never does.
I’ve shed a lot of tears over br ca attacking her and expect she’s cried over me.
This is your experience upside down!
Best wishes to both of you, dilly

Dilly , Thankyou for your reply, and yes i admit if there was a huge fluffy ball of cotton wool i would wrap my Mum up in it , sounds like you have a lovely daughter and shes lucky to have such a supportive Mum at this difficult time , Seeing Consultant on Friday to plan treatment , and i will be there with her , as i know she’s so afraid of what exactly that will be.
Big hugs to you both Amie

Amie- good luck to both of you and hope treatment plan will not be daunting, best wishes, dilly

Hi Amy,
I understand completely how you feel. My mum (65) was diagnosed yesterday (she is having a double mastectomy 1 sever lump in one breast, 2 in the other) and I feel like my world has been turned on its head. I spoke to her Breast care nurse today and said I feel like she’s made of glass now.

I took her to get a bra today and she’s held it together so well but got upset and it hurt so much to see as I can’t take that pain away - Said to her if I could go through it for her i would - My mum is so special to me i feel so protective of her but also worry I am swamping or smothering her.

I’ve been reading round other forums and am so scared of the future as i can’t control it or make it better for her.

She has her op in 2 weeks time and am glad that this ‘Thing’ will hopefully be gone but scared what they will say after. We just have to be strong for those around us - I am not doing that well at that is i keep crying but we’ll get there.

Hope all goes well for you and your mum! Stay positive!


Dear Ilovemymum I am sorry to hear of your Mums recent diagnosis and that you are feeling so scared of the future. I am sure you will receive lots of helpful advice and support from the other forum users, in addition, you or your Mum are welcome to contact our freephone helpline on 0808 800 6000 where you are able to talk to someone in confidence about how you are feeling at the moment. The line is open Monday - Friday 9am - 5pm, Saturdays 9am - 2pm

Breast Cancer Care have recently published a Resources Pack which you and your Mum may find helpful to read, it is filled with information to help you better understand her diagnosis, test results and the various treatments available. You can download it from the following link or you can ask for a copy to be sent to you via the helpline:

Kind Regards
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Breast Cancer Care