i have just been told i have to have my breast off and going to the breast nurse tomorrow.to be given information on what is going to happen. i might be going to have the mastectomy some time in september.i have seen pictures on the web and it is making me feel very upset.i really hope i can keep my chin up in all of this.apart from the “why me” and “it’s not fair” my children are grown up and families of their own.my husband has been so surrportive,i have been told i can not go on holiday in october that has gutted me as well. some times i feel like crying and frustrated in what is going to happen to me. i have also had another family bomb shell dropped on me my father has had a stroke how do i tell him his only daughter has breast cancer.does life deal you with some stinky cards.
thanks for letting me off load sum of my spent thoughts
Dear Glyntel
Welcome to the forums where I am sure you will receive valuable support and advice from your fellow users. In addition, Breast Cancer Care have published a Resources Pack specifically for anyone newly diagnosed with breast cancer which can be ordered on line, it is filled with information to help you better understand your diagnosis, test results and the various treatments available, you can order it via the following link:
breastcancercare.org.uk//content.php?page_id=7514
You are also welcome to contact our freephone confidential helpline on 0808 800 6000 for further support, advice and information from our team of specialist nurses. The helpline is open Monday to Friday 9am-5pm and Saturday 9am-2pm.
I do hope you find this information useful.
Kind regards
Jane
Moderator
Breast Cancer Care
Dear Glyntel
I have no advice to offer as I have not had a mastectomny and am hoping that my chemo will shrink my tumour to a small one they can remove. I have chemo number 4 on Friday and so far, there has been a reduction in the size of the lump.
It’s a terrible shock to anyone to find out they have breast cancer, and for you to have a mastectomy on top of it all must be awful. Added to that the fact that your Dad is ill and and having to cancel your holiday, it’s all really upsetting.
I hope it all works out for you, I just wanted to offer some support and comfort. I come here to have a good rant sometimes and it really helps.
Good luck
Cecelia. x
Hi Glyntel,
I am so sorry you’ve had to join us here, but ‘welcome’. I was diagnosed in March, age 34. I had a right mastectomy and total axillary clearance a week after diagnosis. I knew v.little about bc prior to diagnosis and it has been a very steep learning curve! I had only a week to try and ‘get my head round things’ before surgery and it all seemed incredibly surreal (it still does at times!).
Before my op, my boyfriend and I checked out post mastectomy pics on the internet, in a bid to ‘prepare’ ourselves. Particularly as I was unable to have an immediate recon due to further treatment. These pics horrified me to be honest! I found them very scary and was very upset at how I was going to look. I thought I’d look like some sort of freak and my boyfriend wouldn’t fancy me anymore.
As I went down for my op I cried buckets, telling my boyfriend that I was going to be a completely different person when I woke up, and one that he would no longer want to be with. I thought I would never be able to look at myself again, let alone let him look at me! However, I could not have been more wrong!!! When I came round, whilst I was gutted that I had lost one of my lovely boobs, I was more relieved that the cancer had been removed! Losing that boob no longer seemed so horrendous, it felt like a small price to pay. I found that I was able to look at my scar quite soon after the op, and I really wasn’t freaked out by what I saw. When I got discharged and needed help changing my dressings my boyfriend was straight there! He wasn’t fazed, disgusted or remotely freaked out. Please remember, if you are not able to have an immediate reconstruction (as I wasn’t), then you will be able to have one at a later date. In the meantime, you are given a ‘softie’ to wear in your bra until you are healed enough to wear a proper prosthesis.
I am sorry to hear of your fathers recent illness, what a nightmare for you. Also, such a shame about having to cancel your holiday, I’ve no doubt it is something you were really looking forward to.
Take care and I wish you well for your op,
Kelly
-x-
Hi Girls,
Glytel, I am so sorry you have this terrible disease with the added worry of your father’s stroke.
.I was diagnosed invasive bc with lymph involvement on 17th July.also aged 57 with grown up children.
Since then more tests to identify any further spread, I consider myself lucky that my tests are clear.
I am now waiting to see my consultant on Thurs 23rd to discuss a date for Mastectomy and Axillary clearance.
and plan for treatment.
The worst thing for me has been the waiting, one minute brave in front of family and friends, but when alone sinking into despair.
Although I have times when I don’t feel much like talking about bc, I log onto this wonderful supportive site and read the messages from the wonderful people here.
I am very grateful for the support and information here as I am sure you are. we are all here for each other. I am most moved by those girls who having been given the all clear themselves, stay to comfort others.
Sometimes you can’t always feel free to tell those close to you how you feel, but it’s ok to come here and have a rant.
Kelly, I want to say BIG THANKS for relating your experience’s , it helps so much to know how you coped with things.
you are a star.
I haven’t had the courage to look at any pics, just want this C out of me now.
Love and hugs to all
Rosamund x
Hi Glytel
firstly I am very sorry about your dad, things always have a habit of happening at the same time… secondly I had a mastectomy in Feb, after a new primary dx, found the lump only two months of finishing chemo for first primary…very traumatic time for me and mine. Have to say I too looked at pictures on the internet of ‘simple’ mastectomy and was very upset and more so as I too couldn’t have immediate reconstruction…the first thing in my mind was to get rid of the cancer, which had survived chemotherapy, then I was aware that I was going to look very diferent and felt that I was going to look freakish. Well I have to say that although I am upset to loose my breast, it is nothing whatso ever like the pictures I have seen, my scar is very neat, and my skin has done really well after the rads, which I finished about 6 weeks ago. I think that maybe the pictures shown are the worse ones they can find, which makes us all think that they are the norm…Of course its not nice to have the loss of our breast, but please don’t fret so much and think of the bigger picture, getting rid of the disease, I wish I had had a mast last year and saved myself from this years upset. Can you have a reconstruction? I have to wait a year after rads, also to make sure best we can that there are no more lumps lurking.
I hope you get on alright and feel more hopeful after reading the replys
Jax
Hi Glyntel
Welcome to the site - sorry you have had to join us but you will find so much support on here - I know I have.
I was diagnosed on 4th April and due to the size of my tumour, am having chemo first followed by a mastectomy, radiotherapy and herceptin. Actually saw my Consultant tonight as now I am nearing the end of my chemo (last one 31st August), and my op has been booked for 3rd October. I’,m not having the reconstruction immediately, I’m having a tissue expander put in, and six months later, reconstruction. Tonight he wanted to show us photos of previous mastectomies and what to expect. Ok, to be honest I’d rather keep my breast, but if my Consultant recommends it goes, then I’ll go with what he says ! Also, I was impressed by his work I have to say !
I know how you feel at the moment - we had a holiday booked and should be in Lanzarote at this point in time, but obviously had to cancel. I felt more guilty at letting the kids down, but next year we plan to more than make up for it, and go somewhere really special.
Overall, things will get better - its still early days for you and you have so much to deal with and take in, especially with your Dad being ill too.
Take care of yourself, accept all the support you’re given, and please keep in touch to let us know how you are getting on.
Lots of love
Julie xx
love
sorry i have not been on the forum for a while but things to do
since the 20.8.07
i have been to see the surgeon had my bloods,xrays been told no back flap because i am prone to chest infections and a 6hr operation would not do my
chest any good so it is left to being a blow up babe and then a silicone chick
i think it will take me around 18months to look something like i want to be.
i have been told 4months with the sailine expansion and then in for anothre operation to tkae that out and the silicone one put in in the mean time i iwll get something to put in my right breast to make me look a bit more better.
after that i will get another implant in my right breast to try and level me up.
my operation is booked for 28th spetember but they want me in on the 27.9.07
for some examination on my lymph nodes before my op.
my father is no better after nearly 5 weeks after his stroke still can not speak a full sentance and not walk,his memory is shot at,on the 26.9.07 i have to go and have a case conference with the doctor,physio,speach lady,social services to see what they think.
so my week is full of hospitals
feeling a bit frazzeled around the edges .
Hi Glyntel
We are having our ops on the same day mine is 28th sept, been told its a simple masectomy and a sentinal node biopsy, although he is pretty certain that there is no lymph involment. Have to have masectomy, as small boobs and the area of dcis is right behind nipple so that would have to be sacrficed I am 53 with grown up children who have left home and an 11 year old daughter at home. She is a tower of strentgth although it seems a bit unfair that she will have to grow up a bit quicker than the others did. My pre op assesment is the 26th sept and I am to go to hospital at 8 in the morning of 28th after being nil by mouth from midnight on thursday, so hopefully I shall be in theatre quite quickly and will not have to much time on my hands to dwell on what they are going to do to me. Have never had op so whole thing is really scary.
Good luck and thinking of you on 28th
Sweetheart
I’m glad you know a bit more about your op now, although all the recon stuff sounds horribly complicated, at least you have a timeframe now.
It’s dreadful though that you’re having to cope with all the stuff with your dad at the moment too. I presume it’s a right handed stroke if he can’t speak? My dad had a stroke when I was 15 and I can still remember quite clearly, even though it was more than 30 years ago, just how devastating it was to all of us - and you’re having to cope with that on your own alongside your diagnosis and treatment.
I’m glad to hear that your husband is being supportive, (mine too has been fantastic all the way through chemo, surgery and I’m now having radiotherapy) but I hope that you’re going to seek as much support as you possibly can, from the professionals caring for your dad, right through your family and friends to help you get through your treatment.When I was first diagnosed the breast care nurse told me to see this as a year out of my life - and that’s been the best advice I could have had. I’ve always liked to be at the centre of caring for my family and have tried to support friends & colleagues when they’ve had troubles. Initially I tried to keep all that going and really fell a cropper when I realised that I just wasn’t well enough to do it. You can’t do everything for your dad yourself and you need to make sure that everyone around you understands that. The trouble with breast cancer is that you start out feeling OK and then the treatments make you feel ill - but you will feel better later. Your dad will need extra support because you won’t always be able to do everything - not because you don’t want to, but because you’re poorly too. Even though your children have grown up and have families of their own, they should be able to give you some practical support - they will probably want to and you will have to let them.
I presume too that you’ve now told your dad about your diagnosis - how did it go?
Feeling frazzled is not good before you go for surgery - try to get some “me” time in. I did mine with a shopping trip - I’ve never been particularly “girly”, but by the time I went into hospital I had my first ever matching set of nightwear, lovely smelly stuff and loads of things to do and read. it was a ridiculous waste of money, but i felt really good and it helped me no end in hospital. I had a side room in the ward and it was a bit lonely, but people kept commenting on how nice my room smelt! Even though the surgery was several weeks ago, i still wander round the house in my matching jammies most days!
Thinking of you
S
X
Hi Glyntel,
I am so sorry I haven’t seen your message on here before now as I would’ve have replied earlier.
I just wanted you to know there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I was 41 when diagnosed with breast cancer and after two operations told I had to have a bilateral mastectomy, in between the two ops my father passed away and I too had to cancel our family holiday. I couldn’t have immediate recon as they weren’t sure whether or not I would need chemo/rad, as it was I didn’t need either, I’m on tamoxifen and zoladex now. I did have to wait what seemed a very long 9 months to have recon using the muscle and skin from the back with implants. I had both sides done at the same time in a 7 hour operation and was in hospital a week. I can honestly say I feel great it was very uncomfortable at the time (had it done end of May 07) but now 4 months on and I now feel I can get on with my life, the recon is amazing.
Try and keep your spirits up, thinking of you and sending you lots of love
Karen
xx
thanks girls for your support
i too have little boobs and my lump is in my left breast under my nipple that is why i have to have it removed.
i am 57 and still rocking and rolling which i hope to carry on doing after this op.i need to get in my clothes.
i looked at my poorly breast this morning it is now beggining to shrink
i look cock-eyed in the mirror so i am not going there again.
i have too many places to got to as i have paid my deposits for next year.
and no i have not told my dad he would not comprehend.his stoke did affect
his right side but his memory is shot at only speaking one word sylables.
so i can not tell him it will send him over the edge i am his only daughter.
my girsl are very surportive indeed.as well is my husband he’s a rock for me to hold on to,and a good should er to cry on when needed.
hi girls
i have my pre-op tomorrow and then i have to go in on thursday for a sentinal node also a cat scan as well before my op to remove my left brest on friday 28th.
getting to feel a bit nervous now it is coming close to d-day.it is a bit hard to stay focused
when all this is going on around you.
Just wanted to remind you to tell your team that you may want a reconstruction later and to bear this in mind when they decide where the scar will be. I didn’t, and my scar is very high making a reconstruction pointless as they use the original scar and as mine is so high up, it would show if I wore a low top.
Try not to worry too much. The main thing is to get rid of the cancer, then in time you will get used to losing your breast.
Irene
i have been for my pre-op today hieght,weight, blood pressure, tempreture,and a talk to the person about the sentinal node section also the cat scan.was re-assured on what is going to be happening to me at the end of the week when i go in.
also told i could be out on monday or tuesday of next week if no complications that was a bit of good news as my family have to negotiate the m62 and m61 to get to me in hospital.
just one more hurdle and that is tomorrow on what social services are going to do about my dad then i can concentrate on my operation.
i will be glad when it is over
and i can get on with my life and start to recouperate after my ordeal.
well only one more day to go
in for a sentinal node section and
d-day on friday 28.9.07 then it is off with the begger and lets see if i can get my life back
on track.
going to be a blow up babe first ,then a silicone chick after hopefully
but time will tell.
i went to the case conference on my dad today,the decision is now that he is a danger to himself because the stroke has affected his mind and memory
he is better in 24 hour care .so that means a home.
i haven’t told my dad i don’t know how i can under the circumstances.
hi just to wish you good luck for tomorrow. ive been where you are i had mastectomy last oct ,was in hospital only 2 days ,but came home with drains still in, cant believe its a whole year since it happened ,and am now used to my prothesis, have decided not to have recon, as im not bothered by how i look, single gal and all that. you will get through this and its such a relief afterwards to know that the cancer has been removed, just remember to take time to recover, you will have down times afterwards which may take you by supprise but things do improve with time . take care lynn x
hi girls
i am back and at home ,i was in for 7days went in thursday operation friday home on thursday
no drains in all out before they dis-charged me. the expander is in place and i go back on wednesday next week for results and the treatment that i will be having will be told to me .went to see my doctor today she gave me a sick note for 13 weeks so that will be going into work on monday.
i have some swelling on my left side which is obvious just feels like i have a melon under it and if i squeeze my arm it might go “poof” but it won’t.
trying to find a comfortable position is a bit hard in bed but i will keep trying.
never knew how numb you could feel i look like a pin cusion with all the needles that have been punched into me,and brusies from them on the bone and off as well.
but the main thing is the cancer has been taken away and that is the biggest relief ever the last 6-8 weeks has been the longest time in my whole life.and it makes me look at life now in a different light.
my husband has been a rock to lean on ,he has been great you all know your better half always says"i love you and i would do anything for you" but it is times like this you know he really means what he has been telling you all the years you have been together.
so now i am off on another journey to get myself better and get on with my life.
Hi Glyntel,
Just read through the posts and wanted to welcome you home!!
I only had a lumpectomy but understand how you feel regards getting comfortable in bed!!
My husband has been a complete rock too! Throughout chemo I put 2 stone on, went bald and looked dreadful but everyday he hugged me and told me he loved me. I thought “eeeugh I’m fat, ugly, bald and have got cancer…how can you love me!!!” But they do …for better, for worse and all that!!
We’ve promised ourselves, when we get through all this a lovely holiday somewhere special awaits us. Sun, Sea, Sand, S… Well you know the rest!!!
Wishing you lots of love and luck,
Janette xx