Scared and anxiety ridden

He everyone,
I am hoping I can get some comfort and knowledge here. I found a small lump in my right breast, feels rubbery to me. Anyway, after mammo they had me do an ultrasound. The radiologist came in and told me it was not a simple cyst, it was hard and indeterminite. He was so cold! I am so scared I can’t eat or sleep. He said it go either way. Said it wasn’t highly suspicious and not to lose sleep over it. He offered no comfort .He said if it is something you take care of it and get on with your life.
I have biopsy Tues and am a wreck.

Hallo, Scared and anxiety ridden,

You are totally normal to be feeling like this, everyone does, both the ones who get an all clear in a week or two and those who stay just a little bit longer.

The important thing is to get checked and find out the facts as they apply to you.

If your doctor was cold, that’s not very nice, but honestly its better than them being so kind that you feel you can’t be long for this world!

The good thing is he said it could be either way and not highly suspicious. My radiologist said this looks highly suspicious from minute one and after 5-10 minutes further looking, plus biopsy, she told me that the diagnosis was almost certainly cancer. They don’t mess about, they tell you what they expect, so it sounds as if you have a good chance of waving goodbye to the clinic soon.

Meanwhile keep busy, DO NOT GOOGLE look for info from your BreastCare Nurse or this site, and hang around, you will find lots of good company here.

Lavender

xx

 

hi Lavender,
I went for my core biopsy and had a different radiologist who had a different take on thisHe says he is leaning towards malignancy but still 50 /50 how can that be? He said it had irregular margins, and skin thickening, and wasn’t as bright on the US as it should be. The tech before I saw him said she saw a perfectly round lesion with good borders? I am in such turmoil and feel like It is it. I asked him if it is cancer could I expect go on to live a full life and he said “Fair” on that. What the heck does that mean. I almost got into a car accident coming home. I am so anxiety ridden I can’t think straight

I am so sorry that your Doc said that. Have you had your biopsy? They definitely just say what they think! I wonder why they biopsy if they feel they know from ultrasound.

Went for biopsy today and had a differe t radiologist who scared me half to death. He is saying he is leaning more towards a malignant lesion because he sees slightly irregular borders, the skin thickened , and because it is new. I drove home bawling my eyes out. The ultrasonographer said it was perfectly round, borders were good, and then he comes in with that which differed from the first radiologist who said it wasn’t highly suspicious and it could go either way! Does anyone think there is a chance of it being benign or do they know from the ultrasound?

Dear Philibotte,

That is hard for you, I remember hyperventilating on the way to the first breast appointment so much I have made a point of going on public transport since if I can’t get a lift. It also helps to have someone else at an appointment as one’s mind goes blank sometimes after their first few words.

 

Like all sorts of things human, there is a range of findings  from definitely benign to definitely cancer, and this applies to the US findings. I would suggest trying to phone the Helpline to ask about that. They can cope with very anxious people who feel stupid! I have tested them! Have added a link below but the humans on the Helpline would be better.

 

They have to look at the biopsy specimen as that is the best way to identify whether the cells are normal or not. Also they test to see if hormone therapy or Herceptin would be useful if it is cancer.

 

When are you due to get your results?  You are still in with a chance of “You don’t need to come back, you are fine” and I hope that’s what you are told.

 

Lavender

xx

 

 

 

As if I weren’t anxious enough they called to change my biopsy results. I just about list it and called my internist. He was nice but frustrated with me and I told him What happened with the 2nd radiologist and he didn’t seem to be too concerned. He said it can be benign or not but it isn’t the end if the world if it isn’t. He told me I am 5 steps ahead and I need to back down a few. How do I do this? And the biopsy results not being back? Is that more of a chance something is wrong?

Lavender, are you going to be okay? I got the biopsy results and it is an intraday gal papilloma with atypical cells that has to be removed! The radiologist said it presented with many more malignant features and was surprised. I am thanking God and am going to get active in breast cancer research and Rays of Hope and raise money! I have learned a lot from this lesson and I feel badly for others that aren’t so lucky. I am in the US, and I lost my Mom to pancreatic cancer and my sisters and I are screened annually each year so this NEVER really occurred to me. I am going to slow down and enjoy life more and volunteer to help others. What is amazing is I am not going to focus on trivial deal. Thank you for your support and if there is anything I can do for you, Please let me know!
Love Karen P

Hi all,

 

I am new on here and have just spent some time readings posts.

 

I have just been to the screening clinic and had mammogram, ultrasound and core biopsy done. Have seen the consultant who has said, based on what he has seen that it is cancer. I go back next Thursday for the biopsy results and to find out how bad and treatment plan.

 

I am in total shock, my GP didn’t think it was anything serious, but having lost both  an aunt (40 yrs ago) and my sister to breast cancer ( 25 yrs ago) I should have seen it coming!!

 

To be honest it is the waiting that is killing me, you think the worst and start planning your last days. I am really struggling to keep it together. My daughter (12yrs old) doesn’t know anything, my husband does and as he lost his mum to breast cancer as well, I think it is really freaking him out.

 

Since I told him he has stuck to me like glue, all very nice, but all I seem to want to do is retreat from everyone. I can’t think beyond next Thursday.  Yet I don’t want Thursday to come round I feel like a prisoner going to the execution. He wants to talk about it, and I don’t,.

 

I suppose the thing that shocked me the most was the consultant being so sure that it is, but I suppose when they see so many people they just get to know.

 

I just wanted to know how other people have handled the situation of waiting around, but also have they handled things once it was confirmed.

Thanks for that both of you!!

 

I suppose the worst part is that your mind runs wild with how bad it could be. I just want to find out and get started, I want my life back. At the moment I don’t feel like the same person I was last Wednesday.

 

I will come back and let you know how Thursday goes and what I find out then.

 

Thanks for the advice!!!

Hi all,

 

Me again, well not long to go now till I have my results!!

 

My husband has now gone into overdrive and is looking at the possibility of private treatment once I find out.

My question is does anyone have any thoughts on this at all? To be quite honest I am not keen on the consultant I saw I found him a bit cold and too clinical (no joke intended!!) However not sure if this was a reaction I would have had to whoever I saw.

 

Is the treatment any different between NHS and private, better results and outcome. I would be glad of people’s thoughts on this issue.

 

My consultant is the top dog locally but only works for the NHS and I wouldn’t see anybody else. But that may just be me.

One of my best friends was treated privately and Ashe had a couple

Sorry my phone is playing up!

Anyway my friend has a few gripes from the private sector. She said its very isolating as its a private room and she would prefer to speak to others going through the same thing. She also had chemo in a private room. And there was only one breast care nurse and she didn’t get on with her but there were no option s to speak to any key else.

Now these could also occur possible at some smaller units too even if not private.

She did like being able to get to sleep because she had a room to herald and her visitor could visit when it suited her and not when it suited the ward. And the food was 100% nicer!

If you don’t have private insurance and you don’t like your consultant you can request somebody else… The surgeons locally who do private work also work in the NHS so its possible that grumpy surgeon could be he one you see privately anyway… You don’t have to see a surgeon you don’t have faith in regardless of NHS or private but not sure how you change him in the private sector.

Maybe you can find some others being treated locally who can recommend a doc… not openly on he board but maybe by private message. or maybe find out who do private work and google them for info.

As for my friend she wouldn’t get funded for new drugs either even privately as they used the normal recommended ones so would have to pay over and above the private costs for them.

If you have private insurance you may find they will pay you to use the NHS. My friend got something like £200 a night for using the NHS instead of going to the private hosp.

Good luck xxxx

Thanks for the replies, I called MacMillan today for a  neutral view. They said there is no difference in treatment or outcome. So I think I will stick where I am.

 

Another issue now - got home and found a letter saying have to have CT scan. That is next Thursday, a week after I get results. Well that has really done it for me!! now my mind is working worse than ever. What have they found that means I need a body scan. Is this routine or not? Has anyone else had this as well.

 

To be honest it is all getting too much now and it isn’t even Thursday yet!! Not sure how much more of this I can take.

Well the waiting is over, and I now know the truth!!

 

I have grade 3 invasive ductal  with lymph node involvement it is about 66mm in size.

I have been booked in for a bone scan, mri & ct scan next week and then once those results are back I am booked to see oncologist.

I am starting with chemo, then surgery. They want to shrink the size before I have the surgery.

I can’t believe how much better I feel now it is all confirmed, and things are moving along. I suppose I had already accepted that it was C, so not so much of a shock to find out.

But I have to say that the waiting is really the pits, and my heart goes out to any of you ladies that are now in that position!!

And as far as not liking the consultant, well that has changed too after seeing him today. I also spent some time last night reading up about him. He is highly qualified at this so I feel in safe hands.

I will now be moving my posts along to the next stage on here, but I will keep an eye on here. Maybe I can help someone else who is just starting possibly on the same journey as me.