I know the posts and people on this website are very positive and I need some positivity now as feeling low and a bit scared tonight…I had dcis in 2006 which resulted in a mastectomy I was told that it wasnt invasive and I was cured as there was no evidence of node involvement no spread and that was that. Fast forward to Jan 2011 and I have invasive ductal cancer, grade 3 stage2 ER+++, 4 nodes sampled all clear, another mastectomy and 26 weeks of chemo, rads and tamoxifen. I’m halfway through and feeling hopeless, sick, tired and generally peed off. Give me some good news someone?? Im only 42, 3 young boys( one of whom is only 2!), I read the triple negs are considered cured after 8 years but I am strongly ER+, how do they know it hasnt spread as only 4 nodes were taken? If its come after me twice it will surely try again over the next (hopefully) 40 years. How do they know there wasnt a tiny bit of invasive cancer last time in amongst the dcis? I had vascular invasion this time, what does that mean? Chemo has been hard and it cant be in vain surely??
Somebody say something thats going to make me take a trip to the positivity place…please!!
Hi there
My name is Debbie - I picked the nickname Supertrouper as I asked for ABBA to be played at all the scans and tests. I am on the first step of my journey with breast cancer. Diagnosed on May 26th with Invasive lobular carcinoma with node involvement. Treatment plan is chemo 4 x EC 4 x Tex, then mastectomy, then rads.
I read your post and wish I could help. I am 55 and my kids are grown now and don’t really need me. Do you have a strong support group around you? Husband, family etc?
What can I say to take you to the place of positivity? Probably nothing tonight will help. Try and deal with each day as it comes. All we have to deal with is right now. One day at a time.
Big hugs from me x
Daffodil, you’ve come to the right place.
Step 1: Breathe in.
Step 2: Breathe out.
Step 3: Repeat steps 1 and 2.
Right then, now you’ve got that bit sorted, let’s get down to it. All this treatment is REALLY TOUGH, and we’re all human and entitled to our wobbles. I bet you’ve been all “brave” and “inspirational” and “positive” and “cheerful” for everyone around you even since your first diagnosis, and I bet you’ve done a bloody good job of convincing everyone you’re coping brilliantly this time too. You know what? You don’t HAVE to be Ms Perfect and coping with everything, and it’s FINE to admit how ()*^&)( HARD it is.
Now to specifics. Last time round you didn’t have chemo, this time you’re having it. Chemo’s purpose is to blast any tiny cells that might have found their way into your bloodstream. If you’ve had surgery first there’s no way to prove that it’s doing its job, but look at those who have neo-ajuvant chemo, people whose tumours shrink visibly because the chemo’s doing its job. As you’re ER+++ I suspect you’re also on Tamoxifen. This really IS a very powerful drug for hormone-sensitive cancers, and even though its side-effects aren’t as massive as chemo, it’s revolutionised the survival rates of BC.
Does that help?
Oh, and repeat the three steps.
Hugs,
CM
x
Hi Daff,
sorry to hear you have all this going round your head making you so anxious and unsure. You know I think the uncertainty is probably one of the worst things, especially on dx. Lets look at some of the things that were positive like no nodes which means it has not spread outside the breast and is significantly positive 
. Half way through chemo yahoo so half is done It is strongly hormone positive so you have the whole hormone treatments to add to the treatment list, so more options :). Did you have a sentinel node biopsy and the blue dye? This shows the route of the tumour so they can track the direction and know which nodes to get. They only took one of mine! Less surgery means less chance of lymph problems and faster recovery None of us know about a recurrence but you are 42 and they say it gets safer as you get older and go through menopause so it coming back at a later age (from what I understand is less likely). The big US BC doc writes that women are at much increased risk after a pregnancy. If that was a trigger then you won’t necessarilydecide to have another pregnancy (sorry I don’t mean that to sound horrible but it is a fact)with 3 lovely lads.Chemo races round the whole body mopping up any stray cells if there are any, so that will be working its way round giving any C a boot up the backside this time. Bc can travel through the lymph system and nodes or through the blood system. This is vascular invasion and the tumour can start to grow blood vessels of its own. There are many levels of this and often it has just started to grow them. So you might need some more information about that but again the chemo will do that.
You know you have had crap news but they do have a treatment plan, you are having lots of treatment to try to stop it and in that post were somethings tht could have been even worse. No nodes was a really good result.Sending you a cyber hug but bet it won’t be as good as the ones from the boys. 3lovely boys to give you a reason to battle though this, you can do this for them.
Lily x
I realy admire the people on here that manage to stay posative no matter what BC is throwing at them.
However if someone is feeling negative its not a choice is it?? no one in their right minds wakes up one morning and says, now lets see shall i be posative today and cope or shall i decide to be negative and fall apart.
everybody is different, and even the same person can react differently to different circumstances. Of course you are worried now. But do be reassured, they have got the node bit cracked now and treatment stratagis get better year by year. I have no medical knowledge but it seems to me that they did what was right last time, but you are one of the unfortunate ones that have a re-occurance and by god they are going to get it right this time because they have more ammunition.Things have move on so much in the last 5 years.
I am afraid i have nothing I can say that is going to make you feel more posative, I just hope i can make you feel better about the way you do feel, its natural and justified–life has hurled so much at you and its bound to be a downer.
but that does not mean you are always going to feel like this, tomorrow one of the kids will say something that will make you laugh or suddenly one of the treatments will not make you feel as bad as the last one did or for no good reason at all you will wake up one morning feeling that you are winning.
i am sure there will be lots of replies coming along from people having the same treatment as you, or from people here for the second time. their comments are going to be much more relevant than mine.
but in the meantime have a cyber hug
Oh Daffodil
My dx is different to yours, so I don’t feel able to comment on specifics. Looks like Lily has made some really good points and CM always comes up with the goods. It does sound as if you’ve come up with some really good questions that need answering - worth giving the BCN or Onc a call?
All I can do is send cyber hugs and good vibes.
I think you said in the Shropshire lasses thread that you live near the pub you had lunch at yesterday. I spend quite a lot of time in a field just outside Stanton playing with horses. If you ever want to meet for a coffee, just pm me.
More hugs
Dx
Hi Daffodil
Really sorry to hear you’re having a hard time at the mo, but don’t beat yourself up about feeling down, it’s impossible to feel positive all the time, and hard work keeping everything going when you have children. I’m sure i told you about my mum. She had BC at 29 when my bro was a baby and i was 2. She had mx but cancer returned after 4 years just like yours. She had 2nd mx and was a guinea pig for chemo and also had rads 2nd time round. Her cancer hadn’t gone to lymph nodes and they thought it was ER+ but there were no tests to prove that back then. This was 38 years ago and she’s still here and fighting fit and looking after me. She is my inspiration and I hope she can give you a little bit too. Wish I could be your shoulder to cry on but sending you a special South Shropshire hug. Hope you start to feel better very soon.
Lots of love Rachel xx
Hi Daffodil,
poor you, you’re really going through it. There are positives here, and you will get through flower.
The girls have said it all pretty much, except for one thing: you don’t want to have triple negative cancer because it’s much less treatable. Because of the oestrogen blocker drugs, er+ can be treated much more effectively. There are also things you can do with your diet to help (this is controversial with some people, but if you’re interested there are a couple of threads on here covering the research).
Sending you lots of love
xx
Hi Bubble trouble - Not really what those of us with triple negative want to read when we are on here to get support. TRiple negative is more chemo sensitive often than others many Oncologists say. I think the saying it is what is us is very true and we have faith inb the Doctors to give us the best treatment
Hope15
Daffodils are one of the first flowers of spring and I love to see their bright, yellow trumpets poking through the snow-covered ground. To me, the represent hope. As the other ladies have said, accept is okay to be afraid. B-R-E-A-T-H-E. And again.
At my own low points, I try to remember that my feelings will pass. Sometimes, this may be after a few hours, sometimes a few days. Just try to remember that you will feel better.
My daughter was 18 months when I was daignosed with a triple negative cancer and the most hard part was, and is, the thought that I might not be there for her.
Have hope daffodil, xxx
Sorry Hope, I didn’t mean to be negative for you, was trying very untactfully to help daffodil. Big hugs xx
Knew I would find that bit of necessary positivity here!! Well I made my post on wednesday night feeling low and sad and hopeless. By Thursday afternoon Id been admitted to hospital with raging temperature, panic stations at home as H away and no family nearby. By Friday afternoon I was being transfused after 24 hours iv antibiotics, now i am back home and feeling almost human and a lot less rubbish so thanks all of you. I know what to do next time this hits… second step phone hospital, first step put post on website!!!Rachel
Rachel
So pleased you are feeling better - what a scare! Hope it wasn’t the food at the pub!
Take care
Dx
OOOHHH maybe it was??? Where theres blame theres a claim they say, maybe I should sue and use my compensation to buy a beach front villa in Marbella?? Sadly I fear it was a horrid chest infection which has dragged on for the whole of my chemo so far. Ah well back in the real world I am off to a toddlers birthday party, no rest for the wicked!!