Morning Ladies
I have my 3rd round of FEC next week. I had quite a large breast lump, this has shrunk a lot. My Onc wanted to see shrinkage and hopefully on my lung mets too. When I was first diagnosed, the consultant said I would have chemo, surgery, rads. After seeing my On for the first time he said he wanted to start me on chemo asap to try and shrink everything down then we would look at what to do after this.
Since finding out I am triple neg and reading through the forums I have been very firghtened and spend every day worrying about it all. I’m scared after my chemo they’ll be nothing for me. I’m scared he’ll say it won’t be worth doing surgery if I’ve not got long left, I just don’t know what treatment there is for me. I have posted similar earlier in the week as I just feel so hopeless at the moment and I don’t want to feel like this. I want to think I have a few more years yet and that I can at least get control of this disease to see my young children grow up. Every morning I remember and then it all comes back and I spend each day in fear. I can’t live like this. When I was first diagnosed I had a treatment plan in place, now I almost want the chemo not to stop so I don’t have to deal with what’s coming after, if anything. 
Lots of Love Annabel xxx
Morning Annabel,
My situation was very different from yours, I am lucky enough to be moderately ER+ PR+ which means I can have Tamoxifen, and I am also very lucky to be NED after a primary dx nearly two years ago. Having had a large tumour and neoadjuvant chemo, there are some similarities, and I can recall the ‘is it working’ and ‘what if’ thoughts that ran through my brain constantly for a while, even when the onc was happy with how the chemo was working. There are no guarantees with this unpredictable and dastardly disease, but there are ladies on here who are living fulfilling lives long after secondary dx and with Triple Neg bc. Remember negaives are more liekly to be posted than positives.
I think your feelings are absolutely normal and natural, and I really hope someone with a better experience match is along soon to share.
I’m really glad your chemo is shrinking the lump - that almost certainly means it’s zapping those mets too. Some of the seoncdary ladies will be able to tell you how their lung mets are managed after chemo and surgery.
Please don’t think you don’t have long left, not one of knows how long we have - the proverbial bus could run us over today. One of the secondary ladies puts it something like this… ‘look at the sole of your foot. Is there an expiry date printed on it? No.’ Neither is there a ‘use by’ or ‘best before’. You are still you, and you still have infinite worth. Sure, the prognosis isn’t going to go away - but never let it define you. Remember all stats are averages - which means that some poeple have to beat them, why not you?
Big hug.
Hi Hunni, I stumbled across this - my situation is different, but have you heard of Chris Karr? Google her on amazon, and get her books - she is amazing. Crazy sexy cancer tips and crazy sexy cancer survivor.
I hope the sun shines for you today; thinking of you and sending massive big hugs. You gotta believe you’ll be okay Sweetheart! I know it’s not easy, but keep visualising the chemo zapping the mets!!!
Love and hugs. xxx, Elke
I understand completely what you are going thru, i have just finished chemo at the dorsest cancer centre, and now i supposed to have masectomy and lymph removal under my right arm. I am frightened of having everything being taken away but my tumour was a an aggressive one and had grown to 77mm in my right breast i am still weighing up all my options do i have the surgery will it knock my confidence will i see my sasha married and grown up. All these thoughts are running round my head, all the time however chemo finished two days ago, and i have to look forward there are so many positives around all of us and i have to believe in the excellent staff at the DCC. My thoughts are with you xx
Hi Annabel
I can’t tell you not to worry and my situation is also a bit different. I have skin mets before I had surgery for the primary tumours and have just started a new chemo to try to control the lesions. I’m currently on Capicetabine (Xeloda) and my onc said she has patients on this for years. It’s too early to tell if it’s working for me but have heard good things about it. I’m ER+ so do have hormone options as well, but even if you are triple neg there are several different chemos your onc can try.
Hi Annie,
I think I posted on one of your other threads I am in the same boat in as much as I was also dx with lung mets but I’m not TN however, there are lots of other ladies who are TN and one of the ones that is TN and has lung mets is called Laura64 on here, try searching for her and sending her a pm (private message) she also has young children and will give you the much needed boast and confidence in treatment that you so badly need. One of the other ladies on here talked about Kris Carr and I can also recommend you check this woman out, also you could seek out your local macmillan centre where they will be able to offer you an array of complimentary treatments including counselling if you need someone to talk to or try phoning the BCC line. If you want a chat about anything at all please feel free to pm me, please remember you are not alone we are all here, sending you massive cyber hugs.
love and light
sarahlouise xx
Hi Annie40
I’m sorry to read you’re having such a tough time, as sarahlouise has mentioned do give the BCC helpline a call on 0808 800 6000.
Here you can share fears and concerns with a trained member of staff who will offer you a listening ear as well as emotional support and practical information. The lines are open Monday to Friday 9 to 5pm and Saturday 10 to 2pm.
Best wishes Sam, BCC Facilitator