Oh Naz please don’t be upset about replies I am so afraid of replying to posts or offering advice in case I upset anybody.Sometimes if I am having a down day I get scared when I read posts and a bit pi**ed off. Many times people say thank god, no nodes/vascular invasion/low grade/small lump/her2 pos and I could go into a wild panic.As I have none of these.,nodes/large lump etc. I honestly don’t think that it is anyones intention to hurt. Please please, don’t go through this alone, I once wrote something that someone didn’t like and I know was more upset than them probably, as it was unintentional. I felt like I didn’t want to come on the site anymore. Some days I want the brutal truth and somedays I want to be an ostrich it just depends on how I feel emotianally. Please don’t be upset!! Love Eileen
Hey naz… i think your post has been read the wrong way and i intend no disrespect to anyone who has posted on here but it can be walking on egg shells stuff. we all feel worried/anxious end of tether sometimes but we also sometimes respond according to how we feel to other posts
you posted as you felt - which we all do. it is allowed. we all get over sensitive/feel ill/tired… me, i could have bitten my mother at the w/end!
i’m just very weary, anybody who feels ill… take care
Jen
Hi Naz
I haven’t posted on your thread before, but I too agree with Jen. You have to say it like it is and if it offends people, then you mustn’t worry. This forum is for support. It would be like me saying that I am so relieved I haven’t got secondary BC, which I am. I don’t mean any disrespect to those who have, and I am sure they won’t take it the wrong way. Please continue posting. You seem so fragile in your first post and you clearly need our support. I didnt post before because I haven’t had the type of cancer you have and didnt think I would be much use, but reading your last post, I decided to chip in!
Kind regards
Cathy
x
Hope you’re still around Naz.
You need support as much as anyone and going through your first round of chemo is a difficult time.
People can choose what to read and what not to so please don’t feel you can’t talk here, it’s not like you attacked anyone, was rude or broke any forum rules.
Let us know how you’re doing hun.
Angie
Naomifel,
I wrote to Eileen recently too about this. As far as I am concerned if you start a thread you should be able to say what you want to in it. People choose which thread to respond to but if you start a yipeee one then you have tried to warn others that this is not one to read when you are upset yourself. Yours was quite clear that you were searching for support.We all sound off and very few of us get it right every time, most of us have emotional rollercoasters and inevitably some are rock bottom when others are at the top. So stay and talk to us as much as you need to please. The same is of course offered to anyone here who needs it for whatever reason, perhaps another thread is needed.
Huge hugs all round
Lily x
Thank you, everyone, for being so supportive - I’m sorry I’ve not posted until now. As always, I have been in two minds as to whether or not to post - only more so this time - but I didn’t want you to think that your comments had gone unnoticed. I do believe that we should all say how we feel - and that has to go for everyone - but perhaps, for me, this is not the best forum for me to be able to speak my mind. Or, at least, not at the moment. We are all vulnerable at various times and, right now, I can’t bear the thought of upsetting other people and being upset myself. So I have been trying to avoid logging on in the first place.
I have learnt alot from reading some of these posts on this forum and I do feel quite selfish in abandoning it when I could perhaps give something back in return but my approach is to avoid it for the time being - I have fallen out with family over my diagnosis, am looking forward to several months of penury until I am able to return to work full-time and my OH is being made redundant in 3 months so I have plenty of other things asides from BC to worry myself about.
Thanks again and all the best to all of you,
Love Naz
P.S. As for the results of the HER2 test, I am told that it was difficult to assess and that they had to do the FISH test 3 times before reaching any conclusion. I have been told that although there was “prominent fluorescence” I should be “treated as negative for treatment purposes”. I have yet to talk to the oncologist about what this means but suspect that it means that I will not be having herceptin.
Hi Naz,
You seem to be having a very difficult time and it is a pity that you feel unable to post on this site again. I have always been reluctant to post on here for fear of saying the wrong things but as Angie and Lily say, people can choose which threads they read and as long as you are not attacking anyone then you should feel free to say what is on your mind.
Perhaps you could send some private messages to the people you feel have supported you?
If you feel you cannot do so then I wish you the best of luck
Sinead x
Hi Naz,
Have been reading this thread and whilst I woudn’t want to get invoved in debates - its just not me and usually makes me feel worse / stressed etc. I do want to encourage you not to give up on the site.
There is so much support on here.
Yes sometimes some threads start out one way and for whatever reason change in a way that may or may not be the intention of the person who started it off.
That is one of the difficulties with writing rather than speaking, the message does not always come across as we mean it to, it is so easy to give it a different interpretation, and of course the majority of people reading and posting are at a very vulnerable time in their life.
So as Sinead says what about private messages? we all nead to ‘talk’ to get things off our chest (whoops!) and generally sort out our thoughts so try to stick with us.
Magsi x
don’t give up on it Naz…
even if you just come here to seek info or whatever… don’t give up. you don’t have to post… but you do have the right to say how u feel, when u feel and don’t forget it
take care jx
No matter what the prognosis is or what statistics say everyones unique and I dont care if the doctors told me I have only X more years to live. I will live them to the full which I might never have done if I didnt have this so Heres to life and all that it brings
Joanne
cheers to that Joanne!!
Naomifel,
Can we could talk you into staying, because you are having a tough time with no family support? Hope something turns up quickly on the job front for your OH, to take one worry off your shoulders. Consider speaking to Macmillan if it gets tough financially as they have a scheme for anyone who has cancer, not just hospice level, and it is quite generous. They expect you to have £100 for each person living in the house per week after paying certain bills.
Good luck with everything
Lily x
Hi Naz dont give up i may sound selfish but i still need you!!! Anna
Naz
I’m bumping this up in the hope you will see it again and see what others have said. Please come back - you are a thoughtful and gentle person and I hate to think of you being upset, doing it alone when there are people who are happy to listen.
come on just talk to your friends!!!
Naz, please come back
Naz-
I am sitting here in the US thinking about what you must be going through. I remember your name from when I started posting here in March after my dx. Jen is correct, you are a gentle and good person. Surely no one could have added more to angst than me in my stubborn assertions of principle! I can think of two threads where that was so…being somewhat challenging although I nope not abruptly so.
The point is, this is a place to come and vent, to listen, to have others help you just as you can help others as you can. Although it is far from perfect, it is a lifeline, one we all need at one point or another. As previous posters have said, folks choose where they post. It’s like the positive/negative thing, or the god/ungod thing. Really it’s like reality. No one can ever be perfect in never inadvertently offending someone else and I think that is because we are intertwined with one another, whether we want to see it or no. We are interdependent.
I have purposefully stayed off threads now where I know I will only be in disagreement; why bother? It is not my place to change others and not theirs to change me. So I will agree to disagree and let it be. Others need to do the same, I think, to maintain the good of this forum for the whole. And its very possible.
Since March I have seen three active participants log off due to this problem and i wonder how they are, if they have found another lifeline or if they have sunken deeper into their own fears. We really do not want to see that for you or anyone.
So, do come back.
hugs
Emily
xxx
Dear Naz,
If you are still looking in, I hope you are coping with each day as it comes. That’s all we can do. I hope your OH walks straight into another job when this one finishes, These things do happen! We are thinking of you and sending positive thoughts your way. never feel alone on this journey - there are so many of us walking it together and holding each other’s hands. Remember the treatment makes us SO much more sensitive than we used to be! We all love each other however the words seem to come across as critical sometimes. Remember we all feel worried and frightened at times, and make an allowance for that.
Hope to see you on here soon. Here’s a GINORMOUS HUG from me. (Spelling!)
p.s. I’m in the midlands too, and just long to get to the coast.It’s so far away, isn’t it.It would do us a world of good.
Loads and loads of love, ( tear in eye ),
Ann G. XX
Naz - will keep bumping this up - we need you
naz - I’m in cahoots with Jen…bumping up
I hope you are doing well
and are ready to attack that keyboard
to tell us
Em
xx