My Mum was diagnosed with breast secondaries to her lungs, recently with the bouts of hot weather she has been affected very badly. She started taxol just over a month ago and has only had 1 cycle so far.
She was admitted on Sunday evening and her breathing is very poor still, she has been given steroids and has shown some improvement in how she is since Tuesday but her breathing has not improved.
I am scared, the palliative care team from the hospital have organised a bed to come home, social services & a bigger oxygen tank.
The Oncologist says if she shows improvement she will be allowed treatment and other options do exist but it depends on how Mum is. I asked my Mum does she want treatment and she has said she thinks she should go for it.
Everything is changing so quickly, I don’t know what to do - my Dad & I are struggling, she hasn’t been able to take her Oxygen mask off and it’s doubled in how much she’s getting since Sunday. I’m scared this is it, no prognosis has been made but with all the efforts to give us the palliative care who, I have to say hurt my feelings more than seeing my Mum like this with lack of tact they’ve shown - it looks to be fairly soon.
Mum says she’s feeling better and to an extent I believe her but I’m scared the Oncologist is going to say no more. The spread is affecting her breathing as it’s pressing upon the pipe, no chemo means a slow painful decay with poorer breathing… it’s hardly ethical to send her home unable to get her breath? It seems like a catch 22.
Have you considered finding your mum a place in a hospice? They are much better at providing suitable care for both the patient and their family. The medics at a hospice can prescribe the right balance of drugs and are expert at giving palliative care. Do have a word with your GP and ask to be referred.
This must be an awful time for you, your Mum and family. I totally agree with what AlexG has said. The Hospice is a great place to get symptom control. However, this can also be achieved in the home. I work as a community respiratory nurse specialist and see a fair few patients in a similar situation to your Mum. There are medications that can help reduce breathlessness and also pain, if your Mum has any. I strongly suggest you talk to the Palliative care team. I know they can be quite blunt at times but they are experts in symptom control. If you want to pm me, please dont hesitate.
She’s in nil pain, symptom control is… oxygen, steroids and rest.
It’s really frustrating, i’ve not prepared anything like funeral plans and quite honesty, i don’t have the money just to pay it up front. I’m scared for all the silly things like that but, I’m more scared because they’re giving her morphine… when she has no pain, it’s absolutely mind numbing - it’s like THEY’VE given up whereas my mum hasn’t.
I will check she’s good and up for it but I feel the morphine, I love my mum and if she was in pain and/or at a point of no more… I’d say fine, but I really believe she has it in her and this is what hurts so much.
Dear gingerbear, I’m so sorry to hear that your mum is so poorly and know this must be a really difficult time for you. I wanted to let you know that morphine is very effective at reducing the feeling of breathlessness, as well as pain-I have also taken it when the cough from my lung mets has been particularly bad. Morphine doesn’t mean your mum has been written off. Can you talk to her palliative care team about your concerns?-there may also be a social worker attached to the team who can give you some practical advice about grants etc.Please let us know how you and your mum are getting on.
nicky
Morphine was what I was thinking of when I posted but I didn’t want to scare you. Its a great drug for controlling breathlessness and most certainly does not mean its the end of the road. If your Mum has any panic episodes, 0.5-1mg of lorazepam under the tongue is very effective.
She has lorezepam too, little blue pill when she has the anxiety.
I’ve been told that she is on slow release morphine in the AM and in the PM and her oxygen saturation is steady at 88-90, sometimes a bit greater. She has been on 10L of oxygen which 3/4 of the max air on the thing & she is getting nebulizers/salbuterol.
I am scared so bad, today we had the question would you want to be resuscitated if things were to get worse. She is getting the head oncologist visiting on Tuesday to deliver the news on treatment which, it just doesn’t look great based on the general trend.
I am struggling to keep myself together, it feels like they want pain prevention rather than fight the cancer. I am thinking that Taxol is not going to be a goer anymore and… basically that is that, no other options.
I want to argue and say give her something less intensive but… what can i say, capceitebine didn’t work, vinorelbine hasn’t worked either, she had FEC & taxotere 2005 so that’s not going to happen either. I want to go with an armory of things we can do to fight this but I just fear it’ll be overuled and told it’ll be bad for her quality of life… when not breathing is possibly the worst thing ever - My Mum wants to fight this not lay at home give up, she has said this would be the last fight though.
Hello Gingerbear, I’ve spoken to your Mum quite a few times here. I’m so very sorry to hear this news. I just wanted to let you know you are both in my thoughts. I hope your Mum will remain pain free and at peace.
Love to you both.xx
Gingerbear,so sorry to hear about your Mum.All you can hope for is for her to be comfortable and at peace.Her suffering will soon be over,but she will know how much loved she is.You are a loving and caring daughter ,she will be so proud of you.
Love n hugs
Dot
xxx
On behalf of the moderation team here at BCC please accept our sincere condolences on the loss of your mum, (forum user pipkins).
Our thoughts are with you. Take care.
Gingerbread, Such a sad time for you and your Dad, my heart goes out to you for the loss of you Mum, no words can help at this time. Just be close to one another as your Mum would have wanted.
My Love and Thoughts are with you
Sandra xxx