Scared

Hi ladies, well i went for my results yesterday and have been diagnosed with Lobular breast cancer. Still won’t know my treatment plan until I’ve had another core biopsy and fine needle aspiration today and an MRI on both breasts on Tuesday. Then I have to wait until the 26th for their decision!! Was calm yesterday but have woken this morning in turmoil. I just want the cancer out of my body and all this waiting around is torture. Any advice would be greatly appreciated xxx

I am so sorry you’ve had to join us.The waiting is the worst bit and seems to drag on and on, once you are given a treatment plan it does get better I promise. I got some sleeping tablets from my doctor to use on the nights it all got a bit much. Some of the others will be along soon with some better advice but in the meantime, use these boards for support and information.

hi,sorry 2 hear of ur dx.its true, the waiting is the pits.i tried to keep busy, helped me and sleeping tablets for a short while did stop those awful sleepless nights.good luck with ur biopsys 2day and let us know how u got on. love alex xx

Thanks jo xxx

Thanks alex. Just going for biopsy now. Xxx

Waiting is DEFINITELY the worst bit! It’s all the unknowns, and your mind goes into overdrive (if it’s anything like mine!) The day I was expecting to get a phone call from BCN to go to clnic for the results (and it didn’t come) was the only time I’ve lost it big time and cried at work. (As it happened, she thought I’d had a letter, and I DID have an appointment!) Practical survival guide (a) try to stay in TODAY… (b) when your mind starts flying off into outer orbitt, gently bring it back to now, to today, to what’s in front of you to do/be/love today… (c) if you can, try to choose not to worry! Sounds mad, I know, but worrying isn’t going to make a hap’nyworth of difference to our treatment, just how we feel… and each time you worry (because we do), try to choose not to… eventually the feelings come running into line with the choice, like a little puppy! (d) talk… (e) sleeping tablets are a brilliant idea (f) all of the above has to be re-done a hundred times a day! (g) remember you are not alone… (h)you will be given more strength than you think yo have… Hang on in there Suzie…sorry you’ve had to join us, but welcome!

Sorry you’re here with us, but this place is so supportive. Waiting is the worst. Keep busy, do all the jobs you’ve been putting off or try new things, make a cake, that’s a good one. Diversion tactics work. Make plans for the weekend, do stuff with the family, pack it all in and keep busy.

Bedtime can be awful, waking up at all hours with it going through your brain. When it’s bad I get up and go to the loo or just walk about for a few minutes, seems to help me get back to sleep quicker. I also make up complicated stories in my head which diverts my brain off cancer. Befoer I know it i’m waking up in the morning. Doesn’t always work but it helps.

Hi

I too have lobular and had all of the tests involved with it.

It’s a really terrible time and it really is the worst time; difficult to believe i know, but once you know what you’re dealing with and what’s going to happen you will feel less anxious. The advice given is all good, i had sleeping pills prior to knowing the full dx but haven’t needed them once since starting treatment. Maybe you could think of some questions that you want to ask, this could make you feel more in control - however try not to ‘Google’ too much, lots of it is out of date and some of its just not true or exaggerated and you’ll end up thinking you’ve got everything!

I’ve just finished my chemo and have other bits to get thru’, but it IS doable and you WILL get thru’ it. You’ll find strength you didn’t know you had - you are already.

Best of luck xx

good luck suzie

poo u have had to join the group, you’ll hopefully find it very useful, and everyones in the same position. so u’ll feel at home.

the waiting as the girls have said is the worse part. when u start moving forward with treatment plans u feel like your addressing it.

ive just finished cemo and rads., and it doesnt seem like last week i was where you are now. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

hi ladies I’m a new member

I have also just been diagnosed with lopular cancer, I had a lumpectomy a month ago then needed further surgery to remove some cells and I was told yesterday that I now need a mastectomy, I was still in a state of shock until my nurse rang me this morning to explain everything in more detail, I would be lying if I said I wasn’t scared but she has in some way put my mind at ease. I think it’s hard for me to get my head around the fact that my breast will be missing for some time as I have been told I won’t be able to have a reconstruction immediately

bump for trishahen please? not had mx so cant offer good advice. thanks. alex xx

Hi all,
I too am a new member (tonight), recently diagnosed (mid-march), had a mastectomy 6 weeks ago followed by lymph clearance 2 weeks ago, start chemo in 2 weeks - bit of a whirlwind recently and feet haven’t touched the ground to take it all in properly.

Yes waiting is the worst - I was diagnosed 2 days before going on a skiing holiday so thankfully had to concentrate on not breaking anything which could jeopardise any treatment plans, so keeping busy and occupied worked for me.

Trishahen, I too was initially worried when I learned mastectomy was involved and not having much other ‘material’ to reconstruct with and due to the size of my ‘squatter’, I too could not have an immediate reconstruction. I’ve adopted an ‘it’s better out than in’ philosophy and take each day as it comes.

Currently, I have a ‘softie’ triangular shaped thing which I put in a halter neck bikini top (I find it easier and more comfortable than wearing my existing bras at the mo) - for when I can actually manage to get away from the house and will get a more permanent prosthesis in a few weeks hopefully when I’ve healed more. The ‘softie’ is comfortable and provides some ‘shape’ and serves it’s purpose well, but as I’m still healing, I can’t tell it is there - I have found it on the floor whilst doing some light gardening and not noticing it has dropped out - that made me chuckle! Hence, when out with friends or my partner, I wear a top that it can’t escape from so easily!

Reconstruction for me is probably going to be Nov 2012 at the earliest, so I’ll be without for a while yet and will have to make friends with the prosthesis - it’s an excuse to buy a few new clothes I reckon!

Hope the mastectomy goes well for you Trishahen.
Best wishes to all, Bev.

hi Bev

thank you for your reply, as you say better out than in, starting to tell myself to take each day as it comes as each day that goes by is nearer to getting better

Trisha xxxx

Hi again Trishahen,
Another thing that I found surprising post-mastectomy is that i don’t have a problem looking as my surgical scar (and missing boob) in the mirror and I have insisted on showing all of my close friends and family as I want them to know what I look like, but I still do find it strange seeing myself clothed without the shape there (like the clothes are a mask and the mx hasn’t really happened?).

I found that button front nightwear, baggy shirts that button up front was all I could wear initially, I did my arm exercises religiously and was fine until I needed the second op for the lymph clearance. I also took my mobile phone with me when having a bath, getting stuck for an hour for my first bath when I hadn’t thought how I would get out seems quite “carry-on” now, ha ha!

I also slept with a teddy bear laid on my chest for a while which kept the weight of the duvet off my body, creating a ‘tent’ like effect over the chest area as didn’t feel compfortable sleeping on my good side initially.

Hope this helps too.
Bev.