scaring myself

i was diagnosed 2 weeks ago, i’ve got an op booked for 29th Sept, but having an MRI scan 1st on mon 26th to see whether i can get away with lumpectomy or will need masectomy, i already know lymph nodes are affected and will be removed, i think ive dealt with things pretty much ok so far by trying to carry on as normal, working, and 2 kids, (an 18 yr old and a 6 yr old) but i can feel my anxiety levels growing
i’ve been told my treatment will be surgery then radiotherapy for 3 weeks, i’ve just been reading posts from others who were also told this, and their treatment plan is far more intense. do they tell people this so they can get used to idea and then you get hit with reality later on? i’d been wandering about time off work, should i go back between surgery and radiotherapy? and if it is only 3 weeks radiotherapy, how long before i’d be back to “normal” is that the end of treatment? can anyone shed any light on any of this for me? i kind of know that i’ll be told everyone is different, but its helped to get it all out

Hi Gill, What I have learned from this site is everyone is different. I went back to work between surgery and chemo as I was making myself miserable sitting at home thinking about what could be happening to my body. I was told the same thing as you but then told I had to have chemo and herceptin . It depends on the histology from the tumour.
The only way to look at it is take everything as you want to be well.
Sending you a big hug
Fi XX

thanks Fi, i work in a large office, and the only people who know at the moment are my team leader, ops manager an 1 other person who i’m quite close to, i’m worried about how people will react to me, i don’t want people to treat me different, its been easier for me to get through the past few weeks by trying and put thing to back of my mind. i don’t want people tip toeing around me, but those i know casually are bound to feel awkward about whether they should say something or not, i feel like disappearing until its all over

Hi Gill

Just before you go off for your op (whether it’s WLE or MX) why not put an email round your office, giving a few basic facts and saying that you don’t want treating any differently.

Brief your close colleagues on how you would like them to field questions, then all the ‘water-cooler chat’ will be over and done with by the time you get back to work - whenever it is.

Unfortunately you will still get some ‘sympathy stares’ and there’s a whole thread on here about the ‘well meaning, but annoying, things that people say’, but it will put you more in control of the info that’s put out about you.

Good luck with your treatment.
Dx

hi, all i can add is that nowadays they do not hide things. If they thought from what they know so far that you needed chemo they would have said “and possibly chemo” Only three week rads is quite mild. but they can only estimate what is wrong from the tests so far. Its not until they have done the surgery and get the lump into the lab that they know what they are dealing with. Having said that, they are quite good at guessing.

Are you sure they said node involvement? or did they just say they wanted to test the nodes??

as to reaction from other people, cancer is so scary and people just do not know what to say. Wether to be upbeat and positive or matter of fact and worried. I dont think you are going to be able to get away from being looked at differently now. You are someone with a disease that needs surgery and further treatment, and someone nobody else wants to be. read the 'well meaning but annoying" thread to hear the sorts of thing people say.

so what have you said to the kids? there is a good publication on here called mummys lump for the six year old.

As to anxiety, you sound pretty grounded so far. either you are like me and in a time warp bubble, or you are keeping it all under control. dont be worried if you suddenly freak out and start crying and thowing things.

just for a bit of good news. i found a 2 inch lump in may. Had it out in june. 4 weeks radiothapy in august and now having hormone therapy. No real pain from surgery at all, just needed time to recover. Rads side effect kicked in towards end of treatment probably about 2 weeks of hot boob, nerve pain and sudden, hit the wall tiredness. so far no problem with hormone therapy. I am not as fit as i was. i do need to take things easy sometimes. but i find just listening to my body and being selfish and resting when i need to gets me through it.

you did not mention a partner. if you have one, how are they copping?

i had just typed a long reply and managed to clear it all!! arghhhh
there feel better now, and am not going to try and remember what i replied
but thanks for the messages
i keep telling everyone i’ll be fine, and i’m sure i will be, i think maybe i need to stop reading so much, and try and get some sleep
after finding that thread which sounds quite interesting xx

ps i am 1 of 6 daughters, i said to my sister earlier, if i’ve got this its only fair i don’t get dementia too, one of you lot can have that, she wasn’t too sure how to take that, haha xx