Scary times!

Hi all (again)
Ok so i am now on the rollercoaster, i am seeing the chemo today.
My prob is that i still can’t sleep and can’t stomach food and am worried i will be too weak to start treatment (is this normal?)
Also every headache and slight pain is driving me mad with the thought it is the cancer spreading, am also getting muscle cramps in my legs.
I will talk to the BCN at hospital today but am very very scared.
I know you have all been through rough times, are these similar feelings to yours?
love
Val

Hi val,

Of course it is normal to worry. I think that soon you will sleep through exhaustion. Good idea to talk to the BCN. Can someone go with you to offer support and help with questions and taking notes if you are panicky? I hope that you have a good meeting today and some reassurance. Please let us know how you get on.

Good luck. You are not alone.

Margaret x

Fuschia,

The first thing that happened to me when I found out was that I couldn’t eat or sleep either. I think it takes people in different ways. Also all the everyday aches and pains we’ve probably always had, seem to be magnified 100 times and related to the cancer in our minds. As Margaret said it’s normal to worry, and how I hate that term ‘You worry about things too much’. Do people actually think its turn us on or something. Yes I would love it if I wasn’t a worrier,so I feel like saying’ So where do you get THEM tablets from then SMART***E !

Norma x

Ask for sleeping tablets. I only got them hal way through chemo and what a difference it made. The steriods kept me awake for the week following and sleeping tablets helped, altho did not cure the problem. They give me 10 at a time. I have not become addicted!

Thanks all for the support,
Just got back from seeing onc, first chemo next Thurs.
So from clinic to results to chemo in 2 and a half weeks, not sure if i should be pleased or worried at the speed.
My head is spinning, also need to have scan soon, thats the one i am worried about. Mind you i suppose i am worried about everything at the moment.
I really hope i can sleep tonight, if not i will see the doctor about pills to help.

I am a jibbering wreck :frowning:

Hi Val, Its good to hear you have got one more hurdle out of the way.

I think most people have chemo shortly after the visit, I know I did.

As for losing your appetite that’s par for the course too. Worrying effects the body in all sorts of ways, and I would guess the aches and pains are part of this. I know every time I get a headache I dread it lasting because I immediately think has my cancer spread to the brain! But no its just the stress of it all.

I hope once you have started the chemo things will all fall into place, there should be some kind of routine you will be able to follow, remember don’t put up with the sickness there are plenty of drugs to ease that the BCN will help on that one.

I am sure things will get better for you soon, but I know that’s of no use yet.

Take care
Carol

Hi again Val,

Just to say have you read Princess18 comments on 'finished my last chemo posted about 4.20! I am sure it will cheer you up.

Hi Val,

What chemo will you be on? Just wondering! I hope all goes well next thurs, although I’m sure we’ll ‘speak’ before then!

It is totally understandable that you are worrying about your forthcoming scan, and every ache and pain. I know I’m guilty of worrying everytime I get a headache or back pain. I drive myself mad sometimes with worry!! As for scans, they are awful and waiting for results is pretty horrid. I hate when people say, ‘oh don’t worry’ and so on. I know they’re trying to say the right thing but s*d off!! I was terribly worried when I had my CT scan as I had extensive lymph node involvement and had managed to convince myself it had spread. My best friend (bless her!) told me not to worry, that all would be fine and I’m ashamed to say I lost it bigtime with her!!! Luckily she totally understood and didn’t take offence!! Thankfully the scan showed no evidence of further spread. I defy anyone in our position not to worry. I have a check up with my surgeon next week and I’ve no doubt I’ll worry about that, and every mammo I have to have in the future.

Take care Val and you know where we are when you need us,

Kelly
-x-

P.S. Bless you carol, many thanks x

Your welcome Kelly, helping each other is why log on isn’t it.

Thanks
Carol

Thanks Kelly,
The leaflet i got for chemo has EC on it but it is all greek to me.
I have 2 lumps one in the breast and one in the armpit which is the largest and painful.
The reason for chemo first is because of the armpit lump size which is what really worries me most.
The onc says it does not mean it has spread but can’t help feeling otherwise.
Just have to hope the chemo does a good job. Not looking forward to it though but who would?

well done to you Kelly :slight_smile:

Hi Again Fushia,

I have had two lumps in my lymph nodes, one at the time of my lumpectomy another a year later. I had a scan in August because another lump appeared in the breast. The scan points to no spread so lets hope for something as positive as your onc says.

Take care

Carol

Hi Fushia,

I was dx 4 weeks ago and see my oncologist this Friday. I’m sure I’ll be starting chemo within a week or so after you. I have to mirror your concerns about worrying 24/7, not eating and losing weight and not being physically fit for chemo. It seems the times you need to be focussed and strong are the times when you feel like a jibbering wreck. There have been days when even a trip to the supermarket has left me feeling physically and emotionally exhausted. Like you I felt that I was abnormal and I still do wonder if I am going to have the strength to get through this.
When I feel low I log onto this site and read the bloggs and it really does help. Everyone is so supportive, and I’m sure whatever your fears or experiences there is someone who has ‘been there, done that’ and can offer a guiding hand.
Good luck with your scan, let us know how you get on.
A xx

Hi Andrea,

I know what you mean about the supermarket, i can’t face going, i even had a panic attack at the doctors cos it was so busy and claustraphobic i wanted to run out.
Feeling a little calmer now, just wish i could shut my brain down at night.
And i agree with you about this site, it is a godsend, such lovely people.
Val x

Hi Val

I am sorry to hear of your recent diagnosis of breast cancer, I am sure you will continue to receive valuable advice and support from your fellow users.

In addition, here is a link to a Breast Cancer Care publication ‘Resources Pack’ which can be ordered on line, it is filled with information to help you better understand your diagnosis, test results and the various treatments available:

breastcancercare.org.uk//content.php?page_id=7514

As Sam suggested in your other thread, please don’t forget that you are also welcome to contact our freephone confidential helpline on 0808 800 6000 , the helpline team can offer you further support and a ‘listening ear’ so that you can talk about the things that are worrying you at the moment. The helpline is open Monday to Friday 9am-5pm and Saturday 9am-2pm.

Hope this helps.

Best wishes

Lucy
Moderator
Breast Cancer Care

Hi Val

I too am starting chemo next thursday 3 FEC & 3 TAXOL i had ct scan last thursday and am having a bone scan tomorrow but its the chemo im dreading although im hoping it will not be as bad when it is actually happening ( i scared myself by reading all the side effects from the leaflets they give you ) you can ask questions about the things you are worried about and there are lots of medication to help us through the side effects so i will take everything that is offered, on this site there are so many women who have come out the other side and that is very comforting i am so glad i found this site it has helped me a lot,
Love to all

MIZZY xxx

Hi Fushia, just to let you know I had EC chemo last year , 6 in all, and was not too bad on it, no sickness or nausea. I too was very scared, but you will get thro it ok.

Best wishes for your treatment

Hugs
Marge
xx

Hi Fuschia

Before starting chemo, you should have a blood test which will be repeated before every chemo treatment, to monitor the important bits like white cell count, etc., which determines whether you are strong enough for chemo.
You need to get strong & stay strong for your chemo because you NEED it, so you have to try & calm down & get some rest & eat nutritious food - see my message in your original thread.
You need to practise positive thinking now more than ever - negative thoughts will impact on you when you need only good, positive thoughts, so work at it p it is hard, but it is doable!
Best wishes
TheaJ

Hi again,

mizzy…good luck on Thurs, hope you sail through it, i am trying not to think about the bad side effects, just thinking about poisoning the nasty b****r inside me.

Marge…thanks for your post, makes me feel better

Theaj… you are right about positive thinking, off to the shops today to get myself and my poor partner who has been a saint some decent food, i am fancying pork chops and apple sauce (at 9.30am lol) must be a good sign.

All the best to everyone
love
Val xx

Hi
Just to add my comments .when I was first diagnosed I developed a sore ear- nothing wrong with that, except normally rational me developed it into brain cancer. Until all my scans came back clear I was a jibbering wreck and I defy anyone in my position to feel any different.
If I hear ‘It will all be fine’ one more time I will go mad. I say ‘really and how do you know that?’ not very kind but hey life’s tough!!

MuddyXX

Hi,

I know what you mean Muddy, i have been a smoker for many years and the smokers cough that i have had for years is scaring me to death. You just convince yourself that every little thing is a sign of spread,
All we can really do is hope for the best.

Val xx