Scream in my head

Diagnosed with breast cancer Local recurrence or new primary diagnosis
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Sorry you went through this @William and that you’re still feeling anxious. I’m going to explore anti anxiety and antis depressant drugs. Because I also have to come off HRT and testosterone (which was partly for managing anxiety, but it wasn’t really working) I am likely to need something else to help me cope.

I spoke with a friend this morning, and we were discussing ‘Biographical Renewal’. I’m hoping to explore this more to find strategies to help me cope better.

I hope you can find a way to find inner calm. Best wishes.

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22

I’m praying for you and I pray that everything be ok❤️

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23

That sounds incredibly heavy to carry on your own. Waiting for results is one of the hardest parts — the uncertainty can really take over your thoughts. You’re definitely not alone in feeling that fear and frustration. It’s good that you trusted your gut and went back to get it checked; that kind of self-awareness matters. I hope your appointment brings clear answers and a plan that helps ease your mind a bit. Sending you strength while you wait.

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24

Sorry to hear your cancer has come back. Sending big hugs.

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25

Well now then….so I have a new primary in the other breast to last time, but also presence in my other side in the sculls node, which they don’t know if is from the original cancer 5yrs ago or the new….will be CT and MRI next week for full staging….sh!t!

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Oh @2ndtimeve my love. My heart is absolutely reaching out to you. I am so sorry that you have had this news. It is utterly horrible and I just don’t have the right words for you. I think that’s because what is a right word when you get this kind of news. Just know I am thinking of you. We are all in this together. Sending so much love x

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27

Hey. Just wanted to say I’m thinking of you. Also. As single mastectomy girl. If that’s what it takes, you will get through. :green_heart:

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28

Thank you so much for having me in your thoughts. Yes we are made of strong stuff and we will all get through whatever challenges face us because we are warriors. We talk. We show up with our vulnerabilities and we nurture. I only wish that men were able to do that more. I’m trying hard to encourage my lovely husband to talk to other guys in our social circle, but I know he won’t.

Sending love to everyone who has been on this journey or who is dealing with it now. One appointment at a time. One day at a time, or even five minutes at a time. Breathe and Believe is my mantra in life. X

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29

Hi Jaygo

Just wanted to say (having been through 3 bits of surgery, BC first found in a milk duct, then it spread to some lymph nodes…also chemotherapy and 15 sessions of radiotherapy), you won’t necessarily have to have a mastectomy! After the 3rd surgery, my surgeon told me that I didn’t need to have one! I think she was as surprised as I was…whilst waiting for the results of that surgery I was preparing myself for the worst case scenario, in a way. So that was one bit of good news, although it took me a while to accept that I needed to have the chemo…bye for now and good luck with everything. Take care, lots of love

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Thank you @sensitiveme for these reassuring words. My expectations are being managed by my breast surgeon to expect a mastectomy, but as you discovered, things can pan out differently once treatment is underway. I’m taking each step at a time. I’ve put the mastectomy on a back burner for now. The immediate challenge is dealing with chemo. I feel sick about it, but who doesn’t?

I’m seeing the oncologist at 9am today, so will know more about when my treatment starts and for how long.

I am so glad that you had a positive result and I hope that your chemo journey caused you minimum discomfort.

Thanks for taking the time to write to me. Lots of love back. x

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31

Hey . I’ve been reading your post. I wanted to check in you . Hope they are taking care of you.

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32

Thank you @blessed2. Our wonderful NHS is second to none when it comes to cancer care. Yes I am being really well looked after by a superlative team of professionals. The road ahead is daunting, but I know I am in great hands. I’m handing over the technical elements to them, but taking responsibility for doing my bit by looking after myself. That is helping me to feel part of the team.

I hope anyone else reading this and travelling the same path is feeling similarly held.

Love and strength. x

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33

Good steady progress @Jaygo .
My surgery is booked for 11th December, which is great, I’ve had 4 other spots already (scans/mris)….the CT picked up a couple of nodes in my lung :pensive:, so now am with respiratory team too…more biopsies to be done there. I’m finding it difficult to raise the fog…

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34

Hey Jaygo. Hope your day was good . I’m up late as always . I was wondering how you are doing on letrozole ? I’ve been on it for over a year. Insomnia is one of the issues I have with it . I really don’t have a lot of menopause symptoms but I do have issues with my stomach. I have my mammogram test on Thursday. As anyone knows that has breast cancer it’s always an anxious moment until you get the all is clear sign . My heart feels for you and everyone in this forum . We are all so strong and we have each other to lean on.
I like you am very thankful for my medical staff who not only have the expertise to cure me but the compassion to get me through the upcoming years.

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@2ndtimeve I’m so sorry to read this. Hopefully MacMillan can help with the fog. Sending strength and love and keeping everything crossed that they find nothing. x

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36

Hi @blessed2 sorry you’re dealing with insomnia. I’m having a bit of a broken sleep night myself. I do go through patterns and without wishing to sound woo woo I am sure the cycle of the moon plays a part in this.

I’m not on letrozole so have no experience to share on that. Good luck with the mammogram. x

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37

sleeping - my GP has prescribed zopiclone. I only take it Friday-Sunday nights. It’s not a buildup up drug and helps me get a good restorative sleep on those nights. I don’t wake up groggy. I choose to cope with the insomnia during the week so that I can take the full dose on the weekends - helps me face each week (so far).

Hope you’re doing ok xx

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38

Just wanted to say ‘hi’ to you all. How are you all getting on? Have you found a local network, are you getting enough sleep, are you concerned about your loved ones; either leaning on them too much or their own feelings.

I’m not asking for answers, nor sharing my situation, right now, except for I’m ok, plodding through the journey, but wondered how you were all doing.

Much love

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39

@2ndtimeve happy Tuesday to you, what a lovely thoughtful message to everyone so appreciate. Feel sure this will help a lot of our lovely ladies and there family

Wishing you, health and happiness ahead.
Hugs Tili :rainbow::folded_hands::rainbow::folded_hands:

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40

Hello everyone, how are you all.

Have you found yourselves in a new position, an educator, I know I have. I’ve done a lot of research since October, and continue with a learning mindset through this journey (and is a mindset through life for me, everyday is an opportunity to learn!)

This weekend I met a friend for coffee. She was asking me about my future treatments, I informed her of the prostab injections, the letrozole and the ribociclib, I informed her of the monitoring and of the additional vitamins/minerals required; I informed her that I was in a fortunate, and I am; there was s a treatment that has the potential to stave off the redevelopment of cancer for as long as possible. I know that could be many years, and I am positive about the future.

I am also a realist, cancer may/may not return, I may or may not react well to the drugs, I may ir may not develop something else entirely, but when she said ‘that must give you such hope’ I said ‘no it does not give me hope, my cancer is not curable’.

This came as a surprise to her, and then I explained…‘I have no hope of cure, but what I do have is the potential to live for as long as possible in a good state of health (side effects permitting) and that is (and has to be) enough for me. I’m 52, I may live for many more years (breast) cancer free, I may not; I may develop something else entirely different, I might have a stroke or a heart attack, or be in a fatal accident.
I am fortunate for the type of cancer that I have (I lost a friend in January, she was 54, had PMP - jelly belly cancer and for her, because her cancer was so rare there is not much development in treatment pathways - ends up being more luck than judgement) there are pathways, so I think it gives me peace and realistic approach to the future, but it doesn’t give me hope.

I don’t mean to sound pessimistic, just realistic and wanted to share in a platform that others might understand. Xx

take care all xx

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