I went in on 13 Dec 2016 for a lumpectomy and node biopsy but they ended up taking 14 nodes away. I definitely was not prepared for the post-op recovery issues - nerve cording, secondary infection requiring antibiotics, anaesthetic issues, tireness, shooting pains, numbness, sensitive skin… need I say more!
I was starting to get somewhere with the exercises and the pain when they said the margins weren’t clear and I needed a second lumpectomy. This is booked in for 31 Jan. The sentinel node also has a small amount in it too so that is going to be sent off for oncogene testing, to see if chemo is beneficial or not. That and the results from the next op will be back in Feb around the same time.
I have to admit, this week, I’ve been so withdrawn, crying at the slightest thing, not wanting to see people. I’d hoped when I went back to get the results from the first op, they were going to say ‘this is the result, this is the plan of treatment, this is when it starts’. But of course in reality it’s never that straight forward is it.
My pain threshold is pretty crap and always has been, and now I’m starting to feel better, I’ve got to go through it all again and feels like a step back, although I know it’s what HAS to be done.
I’ve also just about been able to look in the mirror and see I’m not equal anymore, and that’s only going to get more noticeable (the tumour was 4.6cm plus margins so the tissue as sunk back I’m guessing, filling the hole!).
The waiting and not knowing is the worst. Has anyone else felt like me? People say ‘you’re being so brave/amazing dealing with this’ but inside I don’t feel like that
Dear Claireevans003, Just wanted to say Hello and let you know that you’re not alone. I haven’t had exactly the same as you but I did have to have two surgeries and the same delays. It is very hard - I think the hardest part is the waiting. I understand how you feel. You want everything just dealt with as quickly as possible and unfortunately this can’t always happen as quickly as we would like. You will be alright - I know at the moment you probably don’t feel this but it’s true. Come here and talk whenever you need to - there are hundreds of women on here who are going through the same things and they will help and support you. Try not to worry - you’ve already had one surgery so you know what to expect. However it may not be as uncomfortable for you after the second surgery, Mine wasn’t. Wishing you all the best xx Lily
Goodness! Reading your post took me right back to my own diagnosis back in November 2013. My case seems very similar to yours. When I received the results from my first WLE, they showed a 3.7cm tumour without clear margins along with a few isolated cancer cells In one of my sentenal nodes. I felt totally bereft that I had to go back for a second WLE (which was far quicker than the first with minimal pain), and when the results came back, there were no more cancer cells found. So in effect, they had successfully removed all of the tumour the first time round. I wasn’t given the option of an onco test in 2013, and my oncologist recommended chemo due to the size, grade and isolated tumour cells found. The final decision as left to me, and I decided to go with his recommendation. I was very lucky in that I tolerated the chemo very well, being able to work and live a relatively normal life throughout my treatment, so I’ve never regreted my decision to have chemo.
I do vividly remember the fear and worry of having to undergo yet another op, and I too spent most of the time between ops in tears. But here I am today feeling as fit as I did prior to diagnosis, and I can honestly say that I don’t think about cancer all the time my more. I hope this info is of some use to you, and I wish yo well for the future. Take care X
