Would love to hear from anyone who could offer any advise for coping with the news that I have secondary BC which has gone to my liver and Lymph Nodes in my abdomen. It’s not operable, can only have chemo to hopefully shrink the tumours, but been told it will come back and I will die from BC sometime. I’m 39 years old, no children but have one very very heartbroken, gorgeous husband. How can we come to terms with this news and enjoy the time we have left. xxx
So sorry to hear your news. I’m afraid I don’t have any words of wisdom, but just wanted to recommend the BCC Younger Women’s Forums. There’s one for young women with secondaries where you’d meet other ladies going through similar.
share.breastcancercare.org.uk/forum/viewtopic.php?f=10&t=33445&p=591373#p591373
I also wanted to recommend Lisa Lynch’s blog ‘Alright Tit’. She’s just been diagnosed with bone mets at the age of 31.
I wish you all the very best with your treatment.
X
I’m so sorry to hear your news.
I have nothing to offer you except my deepest sympathy, for you and for your husband.
I am being treated for bc and a friend of mine was recently diagnosed with secondary rumours in her spine. Her cancer too is inoperable, but they can treat it and hopefully shrink the tumour. She’s been told that they can give her another good ten years. When she told me, my thought was that she should try and hang on for as long as possible because cancer treatments get better all the time, and new ways of treating what used to be incurable are found. I hope that something is found for her, and for you too.
I’m so sorry not to be able to offer any help or advice, someone on here will I’m sure. But you have my deepest sympathy and very best wishes
Alison
Very sorry to hear your news.
I’m further down the line with you, with bone rather than liver mets, but I well remember the shock of hearing the diagnosis. Impossible as it sounds now, you will gradually come to terms with it, and having a loving husband to share the load is a great blessing.
I am part of a friendly thread on here about bone mets, and there is another one “Liver Mets - please join in” where I am sure you will get loads of support and helpful information. It does help so much to speak to others in the same situation, who can understand exactly what you are going through.
Best wishes,
Julie x
Hi there
so worry to hear uv been dx with secondaries I also have stage 4 bc at the age of 33! It stinks at any age but I think it deals an even harder blow when so young. (I have met in nodes in chest + collarbone, and chest wall. Thankfully my organs were still clear on my last scan in sept). I think it’s important to realise that many respond really well to chemo + live for a long time with secondaries so hopefully you will fal into that category.
when are you starting chemo- do you know what type u will be having? Will you also be having hormone treatment+ or herceptin too? I’m triple neg so only have the chemo option but responded brilliantly to chemo earlier this year and have been on a treatment break since late may.
The best advice I can give u is to have hope regardless of how dire ur prognosis is. I was told I wouldnnt see last Christmas but have proved them wrong + have had a fab summer. I would also say plan lots of nice things for during chemo if you can. We did something the weekend before my next treatment so I’d have something to look forward to. We also had lots planned for the end of chemo.
I am planning on attending the secondary bc for younger women in a fortnight- it’s in Manchester + I’m not sure if otgers’ are running elsewhere??
Pm me if you want to chat. All the very best with ur treatment
tina xx
Hi,
Very sorry to hear your news.
It’s not fair for you to go through this at a 39. I’m in my 20s. I have bone (over 2 years) and liver mets (over 1 year). Now on my 3rd chemo for mets to chest wall and the soft tissue underneath the skin. I have no intention of dying soon yet and take each day as it comes.
Not sure about your exact situation, but my liver mets wasn’t operable initially and the plan was to use chemo to shrink it and then see what happens. After 6 cycles of FEC, however, my liver mets have completely disappeared!! So, saving the op for the future. There are treatments like RFA (Radio Frequency Ablation) and Cyberknife that can treat liver mets if you meet the requirement, all worth investigating.
All I’m trying to say is don’t take up the keep fighting.
Take care
M xxx
bump
Hi, I’m so sorry to hear your news. I was diagnosed with secondaries in my early 40’s. You will find your own way of coping, of living with secondaries, we all do, it just takes time. Be kind to yourself. This is a very supportive place, anytime you need some help, some answers someone will be listening. xx
Just to add I just read your other post here which says you are starting Capecitabine. Just to let you know I’ve been on this chemo for 3 and a half years. For me it’s been a really kind chemo and you keep your hair. One lovely forum user here has been on this chemo for 8 years. Good Luck…x
Would just like to say a big thank you to everyone who replied. It’s very humbling to think that there are people like yourselves who take time out and reply to messages. Thank you for your support. Just a quick up date. I have now been on capectiabine for a week now and so far no bad side effects apart from lose of appetite. My emotional side has improved too, at first I couldn’t stop crying but now I feel much much stronger and my fight and inner strength that I had last year has returned…for now anyway!! Just hope that this drug is working and shrinking the tumours. xxx
Hi Syannybrown, it’s good to hear from you again. I wondered how you were.
I hope you continue to find Capecitabine as kind as I have!
I don’t know if you’ve already read some of the posts here re the main side effect with Capecitabine, feet and hand problems? Apologies if you have already seen them but my tip, for what it’s worth, is to moisturise your hands and feet before you have any side effects. My hands have always been pretty ok. I use Nivea Q10 for them. My feet have had some harsher times and I use a mix of creams, depending on whether I need to moisturise or use more of a barrier cream. Udderly cream with or without Urea (available online) is a popular cream with Capecitabine users and I’ve found Flexitol and Eucerin creams effective.
You may not even have these side effects. It took a while for mine to begin but they have never been too awful and I’ve been on continuous 3 weekly cycles.
Hoping you have some great results from this chemo…xx
Really sorry to read of your diagnosis. As many have said treatments are continuing to improve. Stay strong and be kind to yourself. It’s a wretched disease and I know you will still be in shock at it all but take comfort in the wise words of the amazing women who post on this forum. My love to you honey xxxx
Hi Syannybrown
A secondary diagnosis is a very scary place and it definitely takes a while to get over the shock. I am exactly 2 years on from my secondary diagnosis and still find it hard to believe that this is happening to me.
My Onc initially gave me less than 12 months but I have responded to chemo and am living very well at present. The further I get from my diagnosis date the less it seems to bother me. I don’t plan much further than 2 months ahead but always ensure I have something to look forward to.
My best wishes to you and your family. Sue x