Hi,
dose anyone have the same problem , can’t be bothered in going out, can’t be bothered in doing your hair etc, hate it when you have to go out for an appointment so you have to get dressed etc, just totally no energy or get up and go, just feel lost and lonely , I need help from you guys on ideas to make me kick butt and get things in order, and no I’m not depressed just no get up and go energy levels low .
Love & Hugs CATT 57 Xxxx
Hi @catt57
Is that your cat in the photo/avatar with your name? He/she looks gorgeous. Very sleek. I’m a huge cat lover.
I’m soo very sorry you are struggling so much, darlin
Lots of love to you, Delly xx
Yes, and yes - I have to push myself really hard especially as I live alone and there is NO pressure on me to do anything.
I do crafts (booked my 1st fair at the end of Nov) since my treatment ended - but that said I had to really dig deep to make the phone call as well as to keep going. There are days I simply cannot find that reserve (I was not really like this before cancer). I cannot say why I am like this my treatment finished in April but there is a definite lethargy both physically and mentally.
I know some of it is down to my hair being slow to grow back and I have put some weight on being on letrozole, I look in the mirror and at times I truly dislike myself or the ‘self’ I have become - which stops me wanting to go out at times.
Also being diagnosed has changed my outlook on a lot of things, does it matter if I don’t hoover every day, wash the pots or whatever else once seemed important to do. I think we sort of become withdrawn more private, maybe we are protecting ourselves no one tells you how to cope/feel after your treatment has finished.
The most important thing is time - give yourself time to heal on all counts, but to be aware of slipping into a deep depression which can happen the longer we let ourselves slide.
I do find the loss of the old me sad I was in denial at first these days I accept she has gone never to return but it still stings don’t know about you but I feel cheated and robbed.
I know others will be along there are members more equipped to explain better…
Just know you are not alone, it is not your doing.
Being on here and talking about it has helped me a lot I hope you find likewise support.
Lots of HUGE Hugs
Poppy xx
Hi catt
You didn’t say where you are in your treatment schedule so it’s hard to say ‘Oh that’s a chemo side effect”. I feel like that much of the time and there is so much I used to do that is too much of a hassle so it doesn’t get done. I no longer enter writing competitions, no longer knit, I can’t embroider as I have peripheral neuropathy and can’t hold a needle - those were my passions. I even have the new Jack Reacher book at the side of the bed and can’t be arsed to read it.
Depression? No, I have long experience of that and I take an SSRI. However, I know the winter blues will still come. This is something different that is like a brain fog and mine stems from utter fatigue. Cancer fatigue is very different from common or garden fatigue; it’s not tiredness, it’s utter apathy. So the best thing you can do is ring your breast care nurse so you can at least talk about it. She may come up with bouncy ideas like going for a brisk walk (most bones in my feet hurt, I’m breathless after a few yards), but she may also come up with alternatives like tiny steps towards rediscovering yourself. She may also know of some food supplements that might help. It’s so easy to lose yourself to cancer.
Do you have any friends you could confide in? I’m on permanent chemo now and the fatigue is awful but I do get some good or ok days. One of my friends picks me up to go out for a coffee on a Sunday morning. It’s amazing how being part of the real world can lift your spirits, ordinary people enjoying themselves and not sitting anxiously awaiting their turn at the hospital. Do you have a car and are you able to drive right now? Even if you get in the car with your coat over your pjs, you can drive to a beauty spot when the sun’s out and just look around at what you’re missing. Then you might wish you didn’t have your bunny slippers on so you can;t breathe in that fresh air - next time, you get dressed, if not made up. I can’t remember when I last wore makeup!
Is there a Maggie’s Centre you can access? You can just walk in and talk to someone in a private area. They are so familiar with all this, they are bound to have some ideas. I wouldn’t recommend the Moving Forward course while you feel like this but there may be support groups online - I’ve found them the most prolific source of ideas. You might also consider turning the tables and using your experience to respond to others who post on here (if you don’t already). ‘Passing it on’ is a good way to raise your self esteem. Another thing that occurs to me is logging into Futurelearn where there are thousands of free courses which put you under no obligation at all. You might find something catches your eye and stimulates your brain - the one on Colour was amazing. The one on Ancient Rome, you could jump inside an oculus and investigate the reconstructed temple! It’s not for everyone but there may be something (and you can do it in bed). The point is, the more you get in touch with people and places beyond Cancerworld, the more likely it is you’ll rediscover yourself - changed but still you.
I’m rambling again. I wish you all the best,
Jan x
Hello @catt57
Big hugs,
What lovely advice from Jan and Poppy.
I can relate to feeling utterly hopeless and just not wanting to step out of the house at times. Sometimes we only do things because of a “need” but when that “need” isn’t there, it’s hard to do things just for you.
I would very much endorse reaching out to Maggie’s they were my saviours and also talking to people in this forum: as I’ve said many times already on here, there is no substitute for talking to ladies who have actually been through what you are going through.
My advice would be to take small steps and try to find little changes you can make eg if you listen to a particular radio station, turn it over and put another one on, try and just do something to break your daily routine.
You could also try journaling: I started when I got my diagnosis and it is a really really helpful way to offload your thoughts. I’m currently using mine to help me create a new routine now I’m out of active treatment: I write in it in the mornings with some reflections on the day before and a tick list of good positive things I did, then write a (very short!) to-do list (it also helps to remember what I need to do (yet again my household has run out of clean underwear ))
Another suggestion would be to try doing something you haven’t done for a long time: during previous mental health struggles I’ve picked up knitting which I learned as a child and started playing the piano again (not quite sure how that comes across but my point is doing things from a long time ago felt like reawakening bits of my brain that had fallen into disrepair after not being used in so long)
Most importantly however is don’t beat yourself up about how you are feeling, you are going through one of life’s toughest experiences, it doesn’t matter how it affects other people and what they do and how they feel (you have no control over that) what matters is how you feel, and if today isn’t a good day, so what tomorrow is a new one
Lots of hugs
AM xxx