Thanks! 
I did kinda of in betweenā¦ I drove to the local mini Tesco and got the minimum just for tonight!! Will tackle food shopping/ordering when am better 
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@daffodil my hair has about 3mm of fuzz! Not sure what colour if any , looks translucent 
Ladies , hope all ok , and good luck to those who have dates for their surgery. @annemanc hope youāre doing as well as can be after your op this week . @pinklilli3s good plan on getting short term supplies and leaving the rest for another day! Tomorrow is another day 
Quick update . I feel a lot more normal 4 weeks post chemo , getting tastes back and energy. And a week post radio Iām feeling much better than I thought I would. Slathering cream on 3 times a day . But tiredness could kick in this week - hopefully not !
I got the results of my MRI on my spine yesterday ( only had it on Tuesday so Iām amazed the results came so soon!) Still
Inconclusive and my oncologist is booking another scan for July on advice of radiologists . Their report said ādifficult caseā! They arenāt 100% sure itās benign but canāt tell. So itās 6 more months of waiting unfortunately . Felt really down when I got the results but I have to just get my head round it and deal.
Hope
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4 weeks seems to be the sweet spot. Am getting weird craving after being on steroids for so long now. Lemon is still my favourite thing and bizarrely so is smoked salmon (expensive taste huh).
Sorry to hear itās come back inconclusive. How annoying. I wonder why they canāt do anything sooner for you and give you a more definite answer.
Sometimes inconclusive is as good as it gets. My lymph nodes 1st biopsy came back like that which is why I had to go for 2nd one.
I hope you manage to get your head round it and maybe your oncologist can advise furtherā¦
Big hugs xxxx
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Thank you . I think itās because it can be very slow growing and they have to take an MRI a year apart to see even a slight change. My oncologist doesnāt seem to know what the issue is! Relying on advice of the radiologists.
Crazy cravings - smoked
Salmon very decadent! I love this in a bagel with cream cheese !
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The fact itās very slow growing according to them is reassuring I guess. Youāre doing amazing taking this into your stride 
That sounds delicious. The typical combo w smoked salmon atm seems to be brown rice gf pasta, loads of lemon juice, meal which I will happily just have for breakfast too! I love creme fraĆ®che but being lactose intolerant,ā¦ so this week post chemo trying not to add too much in the mix, but might treat myself to a pot next week and deal w the effects and spots on face, or try the elmea plant cream (Which never taste the same at the real stuff!!!)
Also craving, red radish, cucumber, patƩ and houmous, completely random stuff 
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Hi copperycat
Those results came back quickly but how frustrating that they are still inconclusive. Not easy to get your head around but sounds like you are doing a good job of just that. Iām glad they have ordered a follow up scan for you. Uncertainty is really difficult to deal withā¦ something we are all having to learn to live with to some extentā¦
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Ah frazzled, I know what you mean about peach fuzz, thatās what mine is like really too. My eyelashes are back but they always used to be really dark and are now nondescript translucent!!! At least I can put mascara on again though now. Through chemo Iāve worn a beanie but I do think itās going to be difficult in Spring/Summer without much hair. Also spring summer clothing with one boob will be a challenge. But we are all hereā¦
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Hi @copperycat
Great the scan and results were so quick but a shame itās inconclusive. Itās not what you want to hear, Iām sure. But then again itās not bad news either. At least they will continue to monitor with further scans.
The 2 weeks after radiotherapy hit this week and Iām still fatigued, not sure I got my energy back from chemotherapy as Iāve been having hot flushes that affect my sleep. Lack of sleep is probably the biggest culprit.
Iāve just learnt to take it easy and try to walk as much as possible. Iām seeing the breast care nurse in a week and will discuss the hot flushes and lack of sleep and see what else can be done.
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Hi @naughty_boob, sorry to hear youāre fatigued. Itās so annoying , we thought we would be on the home straight after chemo and radio. Good idea to balance walking with resting , itās a balancing act. Iām wondering if radio fatigue will hit me this week . Have no plans so can rest if it does 
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@naughty_boob sorry to hear youāre fatigued both of you and thanks for sharing as I was looking at accepting some dog booking 2nd week of April, 2 weeks post RT, but sounds I need to give myself ample time to recover
Hot flushes are nasty especially at night as they wake you up. Oncologist says itās normal for now as hormones up and down. Hopefully that fades in time or can be controlled further down the line
Hugs
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Hi, sorry for my very slow reply, am back at work and the days just disappear!
The 
is getting there, Iām 3.5 weeks post-op, saw the surgeon on Monday and he was happy with the progress, seeing him again on the 19th. Have had a bit of fun with the district nurses, they downgraded me to every other day visits and just didnāt tell me so Iād been stuck in the house waiting for them to not show up 
Iāve got a call with my oncologist on Monday and then the surgeon rang this eve to book me in for an appt on the 21st to discuss the lumpectomy- and then it could be two weeks after that, if the aforementioned is healed. I donāt think I can manage both at once.
Thank you @annemanc and @naughty_boob for the lumpectomy intel. My main lump was right behind my nipple
so not sure if I might lose that- although Iāve already decided if it has to go, Iām going to get something fun tattoed rather than a fake nipple.
Re: hair regrowth, Iām still quite thin on top although what is there has a bit of height to it, I only realised the other day that itās much thicker (by comparison, at least) around the back and sides. I might need a flat cap at this rate 
. I managed to keep my eyebrows although they did thin, and probably have three stumpy eyelashes left. I had to shave my armpits for the first time in about 6 months last week, am ignoring the legs while itās still technically winter
My main frustration at the moment is waking with night sweats and then being freezing on repeat, and feeling like Iāve got a lot more energy (4 weeks post chemo), wanting to be out and about but I canāt do much/go far due to how weird it feels to walk at the moment.
Hugs to you all, sorry for the essay! xx
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Hey @plum1 nice to hear from your and the ! Thatās poor communication from the district nurses when you could have gone out!
I think itās sensible to deal w then the lumpectomy. Iāve got my op booked 17th feb. This will make you laugh. Todayās consultation my breast consultant is excellent but a bully lol she was explaining things to me, drawing and all,I was making notes on my phone and sheās like donāt make notes 
cause apparently I canāt listen to her and make notes!! I was like excuse me, this is my consultation and our brain must be wired differently, also itās a different language, I will make notes if you donāt mind!!!
Bloods are okay ish. I feel better since yesterday. A bit anaemic, breast consultant said to take iron tablets which oncologist didnāt want me to, go and figure. Lumpectomy and 2 nodes to be removed, 2 incisions, mine come up towards collar bones/shoulder. Need to buy bra this week, M&S is the place I hear. I just hope hem doesnāt rub on scar in future. Got to go a day before to receive dye which will give blue boob apparently!
On the hair regrowth, I heard that scalp massager brush are wonderful (and scalp exfoliating) and I bought one and washed my hair w it last night, it stood on its head this morning think my scalp liked it !! Not undergoing the cold cap probably helps too 
still bald on the sides, eyelashes are slowly growing but dealing w blepharitis and some fuzzy eyebrows appearance.
Everyone I talked to recommended UK lash serum, itās expensive but have bought it on a deal.
I feel for you on night sweats. I get the hot flushes then I am awake at least a night for a long time ( I donāt look at the clock). Also heard that side effects like hot flushes and night sweats dissipate overtime, like 2/3 months so am hanging to that idea and bought some herbal remedies in the meantime!
The forum is for us to share! Donāt worry about it, or Iād have to start apologising for my essays 
am glad itās moving in the right direction for you. Big hugs 
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@plum1 so lovely to hear from you. Like you I am back at work so take a bit longer to reply. Glad to hear youāre on the mend. I am also very light on the hair growth, have partial eyebrows and minimal lashes, night time hot flushes, and crazy fatigue. So I am sorry to hear you feel the same, whilst also relieved to hear I am not alone.
I have my surgery in two weeks. I go in the day before to have some radioactive substance injected in. Just when you think you have heard the worst and nothing more about this process can surprise you, you get a letter telling you the injection is in the nipple. Whaaaaaaaat! FFS. Whoever said now chemo is over, you are through the worst must have been having a laugh. Ah well like everything else I have no choice but to suck it up and just grit my teeth. But bl**dy hell.
@copperycat hope your taste continues to improve. Did the tiredness arrive or are you okay? Sorry to hear more waiting after your scan but there sounds like a chance it is benign and slow growing. So try to cling onto that.
@pinklilli3s how is your expensive taste going,. Are you still on the smoked salmon! Your diet sounds very healthy though. I am hungry just reading about it. What is it about consultants that they lose their mind when we take notes. I asked to write down the time of some medication today and had the form taken back so they could write it down for me. Clearly we are not to be trusted with pens!
@daffodil any more hair yet. I think I can see a vague six o clock shadow but that might be wishful thinking.
@naughty_boob hope you are coping with the hot flushes and lack of sleep. I have never been so tired. Just hoping that by summer we are all feeling a lot better.
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Am still on this smoked salmon but craving it less saying that had it w spaghetti this evening, spinach and lacto free cream 
food coma yummy. My tongue and taste buds are still funny. I picked up a ready meal thing I hardly do, and it was a curry. I didnāt realise it had two 
omg it was so spicy I couldnāt finish it. Havenāt had anything spicy for months ! I love my food and Iāve missed tasting it also only a week before op so trying to eat as much good stuff at I can. I still canāt eat anything sweet, cause everything tastes sweet, chocolate is touch and go.
Oh I just remembered something from the consultation, the doctor said to try cocoa 100% to help w sleeping
Oh so you experienced the same thing w your consultant and taking notes? Rude! I mean I had my phone flat on her desk, she could tell, I wasnāt sending love messages to my horse but you know what, hers was on full sounds and vibrationā:smirk: anyway by end of consultation and because I put my foot down, she was offering me to groom her cat w long hair sometimes bully just need to be told off.
Anyway, are you having a wire put in the morning if the surgery? I will, apparently itās to guide her as to where the clip and cancer was. So she can make the incisions in right place. Then I go under GA and they remove the bugger/scar tissues.
I also had a chat w genetic consultant to make sure I havenāt got the brca gene. Seems my grandma on my dad side, had also ovarian and breast cancer and half sister of dad too. I never met my grandma, she died in the morning of the day I was born, later that afternoon. Funny the cycle of life huh ā¦
Youāre all very brave to be back at work. How youāre finding it ? Make sure you take it easy! As your official/unofficial HR manager angel youāre entitled to progressive return to work, do use it if you feel like it. Donāt hesitate to ask me any questions as well if you have any. Big hugs xxx
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Best of luck with the operation @pinklilli3s and good for you for standing up for yourself! Itās completely reasonable to take notes.
Iām 11 days post aux lymph node clearance and have found it tougher as Iāve gone on. You are supposed to completely rest your arm which is harder than youād imagine. I developed a big seroma swelling under my arm and had to have it drained yesterday. Been feeling very tired too, think the chemo has caught up with me retrospectively. Itās hard as I canāt do my usual things to fight fatigue (yoga, exercise, even cooking!) cos of my arm.
On the HR side, I was going to ask about phased returns. My sick leave pay runs out fairly soon (statutory and work scheme). After that if I get ill at work and need time off Iāll get no pay. Iāve still got a fair bit of holiday to take accrued while I have been off.
Work are supportive and have offered a phased return, but havenāt got back with info on how that works with my pay. Do you know what the usual process is?
Iāve still got radiotherapy to go and then 2 years of a new targeted therapy called abemaciblib. The latter has good results but tonnes of women are reporting severe side effects (mainly diarrhoea and fatigue) which can last for several months while they figure out your optimal dose. So Iām trying to work out whatās for the best both for my health and finances. Xxxxx
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@plum1 so pleased you are recovering from your operation, hopefully fully recovered for your boob op. The district nurses are a law unto themselves, I had issues with my PICC line care. It always seemed to be my fault 
Hot sweats/flushes are a nightmare for me aswell. Tried hypnotherapy, mindfulness breathing, bedtime routine, the only things that helps a little is sleeping tablets on 3 nights so I donāt get woken up as much and if I do I go back to sleep quicker. There are drugs that can be prescribed such as low dose SSRIs (anti depressants) and clonidine but most interact with my heart medication. Hopefully with time it will settle. Iāve been on Letrozole for 3 weeks.
@pinklilli3s Great you have a date sorted. I bought tshirt bras from Asda for after my lumpectomy. I wore then 24/7 for a few weeks, I am bigger busted and had both sides operated on. I thought I was having blue dye tracer but in the end it was clear so no blue tinged boobs for me. Wow, what is wrong with these medics taking offence that you are making notes! Is it a crime now? Itās as if they think something might come back on them, well if they have said or done something wrong it should. You have every right to make notes. With chemo brain it is so easy to forget or just zone out.
@frazzledmcsazza Great news you also have you operation date. I had guide wires put in the day before using ultrasound to help place them, and mammogram afterwards to check positioning, not the most comfortable. One of my tumours was far back so that inserted a tracer, as well as the wire, that beeps in surgery to ensure it could be found. I did make them laugh as I asked which radio station I could pick up as the wire stick out quite a bit until they are happy and then wound up and taped downš¤£
The radioactive injection into nipple wasnāt fun either, I had to have both sides done aswell. Like you said itās a needs must and you just have to suck it up. I have to have radioactive material injected every 4 months for a MUGA heart scan, I think by the end of the year I may become the new SheHulk 
. My husband bought some Wonder Woman T-shirts for me to wear during chemotherapy and I continue to wear them for scans etc.
@annemanc sorry to hear you recovery is no so smooth. You were mentioning return to work, if you are not well enough and have more treatment to come have you looked into ESA and PIP. When my statutory sick pay ran out my work send me an SSP1 form to send to ESA and I then had to complete it online along with a lengthy health questionnaire. Same with PIP. I qualified for both, need FIt for Work note for ESA or your team can completed the last page of ESA health questionnaire. I donāt work full time so the money I get is nearly replacing my pay. I work in primary school teaching whole classes, covering teachers when they are planning. My brain doesnāt function like it did, I have a much shorter fuse, I can cry at the drop of a hat, not to mention lack of sleep, achy joints, hot flushes etc. I couldnāt go back even if I wanted to. Please look into these benefits the PIP is not means tested and my ESA is contribution based. Itās horrible you have to choose health and work. Both ESA and PIP can be found on gov.uk or a quick Google.
Thinking of you all
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Hi @annemanc 
sorry you got seroma, that might be why youāre feeling tired. Last night was my first night where I only woke up once! It does take toll on you.
W regards to your HR questions. Bear w me itās a bit long but answering all your questions
Most if not all companies these days, have a group income protection scheme (GIP) Which comes with your pension usually. Itās like an insurance that will pay up to 66% of your salary. You would be off work and assessed every 6 months. Your HR business partner should have a claim w the insurance. In doing so , i they need to send you got an occupational health, get the report for evidence and guidance and send the OH report to the insurance. I usually automatically do this within 6 weeks of the person being on long term sick. As our insurance use to take their sweet time to approve a claim, sometimes up to 3 months and I didnāt want the person to experience loss of pay. So thatās for the pay side of things. I would enquiry if you have anything like this or if in your benefits package there is any other type of insurance that will cover you.
If you donāt, I would consider raising a PIP claim with the government (department of work and pension). I would do the PIP claim regardless anyway as weāre all entitled to it. I would keep your holiday for your holiday time. Because will come a time you might want to take the odd days off for holidays and it will feel good to those. Ofc if you have plenty accrued, if you want to use for sick days thatās totally fine but youād hope if you have the odd days off your company will do the kind thing and still pay you. (May I ask what you go and if private or public and if contract or perm? ) You can message me privately if you like.
With regards to your sickness policy I would enquiry when your sick entitlement would renew. Most renew on a 12 monthly basis so bear that in mind, check your policy and/or ask your HR department.
With regards to phased return. May I ask what work suggested to you and did they get your input, did they get medical advice?
Maybe cause am a Virgo and am organised and generally feel I do things better than anyone else especially when it comes go people and HR lol lol 
but I would ALWAYS meet w the individual before just sending a phase returned. I would get the individual input, their manager and get their feel on what THEY think they can manage, how many hours, etcā¦ Iād always get occupational involved first right at the beginning as well. They are a third party company, medically trained in assessing individuals and us HR can ask them questions to ask the individual during the meeting and Iād then get advice on how best to manage the individual conditions, whether or not they would be covered under the DDA disability and discrimination act (which we are) and how their medication would affect them for example. Iād get advice on a proposal phased return to work which I would have put together based on the information Iād have and then discuss the outcome of the report w the individual when I get it. Itās a fair way to encourage reluctant employees (not us!) To get back to work but also gives a clear picture to those (like us) might benefit form more time to recover or longer phased return.
On to pay when in phased return - legally they donāt have to pay you full time, they can only pay you for the time worked (like a part time situation) BUT BUT but, I would enquiry and ask them to pay you full pay. I did w all my employees where I could, and I didnāt notify payroll thatās all. If they are a nice company they will do it. It also help I worked for a big group like Hitachi. My contract ended and all but in terms of care I was extremely well looked after. Please note a phased return can be 6 months or more not not a few weeks!
Do you have an employee assistance program? It tends to come w your benefits package -if you have one. If so I would also give EAP a call, they offer free counselling, money and support advice, confidential helpline. MacMillan may be of help for grants and financial.
HR you can always ask me Iāve got you girls and Iāll always give you a fair supportive answer xxxx
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Hi @naughty_boob your radio stations comments made me laugh I love wonder woman and have a few t shirts too 
I have to have the radioactive injection day before, I hope itās not in the niple, my C was further up but maybe I need to ask (maybe thatās the 5 min I was fuming where Iād been told not to take notes the information, it went above my head ) were you able to drive/ sleep after the procedure on the day? Think I need to pop a call to the nurses.
@frazzledmcsazza hope your operation goes well!!! This niple injection businessā¦ I hope I can drive to and back from hospital as itās a 30 min for this procedure and the op. After the op a friend will bring me home the next day, am staying overnight cause am am on my own. Mum arrives Monday. Flight way too expensive on Sunday cause of half term on both sides FR and UK and I think Iāll be fine hopefully I managed with 2 hands back in August following my hand/thumbs operations. The pain might be worse and psychologically it might be harder but physically hopefully I should be able to move around and do things w left side this time. Am trying to see the cup half full 
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@pinklilli3s My husband drove me because I felt I needed the support. I wasnāt specifically told I couldnāt drive. When I have the radioactive injection for the MUGA scan I drive and itās a 60 mile round trip. They numb your boobs with local like they do with biopsies.
I eventually got told about the employee assistance programme in December when Iād finished my chemotherapy. Iām a bit cross that it wasnāt offered when I first was diagnosed. They say they have cancer and chronic illness support but it is just nurse support over the phone. They did offer to pay for a massage or two but two weeks later I still havenāt heard how much they will pay, so will need to chase. I will have to wait until 6 weeks after radiotherapy as most therapists like you to wait 6 weeks and some are cautious if your mention cancer asking for doctors letter to say ok. They did offer 5 sessions of counselling but that wasnāt easy to organise. Like everything itās up to you to do.
Thanks for your HR support
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Would you get the Group income Protection Scheme on top of your salary? I get 6 months 100% and 6 months at 50%. At 6 months I applied for ESA as advised my company.
I think you mentioned the pension before and I forgot to ask, so Iāve sent an email today! Better late than never.
My headteacher has contacted me re redundancy, they are restructuring due to budget deficit and educational needs. They didnāt give any idea how the restructuring would affect me apart to say everyoneās contract will be redrawn. I have contacted my union and decided to be considered for redundancy . Iām 55 in two weeks so could get my pension but I may not and wait as it pays more at retirement age. Iāve been part time for over 20 years. I decided against trying to get early retirement through ill health as I am hoping to feel better in time and will look for a different type of job, maybe one that allows some home working. Luckily I have my husbandās full support.
Thanks again for any adviceš„°
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