Sex for the first time

HI everyone

I wonder if anyone can give me advise, guidance or reassurance (or all if i am lucky).

After having waited for 30 odd years, i have recently had sex for the very first time, with a new partner. He is very understanding and supportive and was amazing when i first told him about my BC (i had chemo, radion and a mastectomy and yes am on tamoxifen). But i find that the sex is painful - i spoke to my breast care nurse who referred me to the gynae department at my hospital and i have an appointment for the 6th Jan.

meanwhile is there anything i can do or try to help matters a bit? Any guidance would be greatly appreciated.

many thanks

Hi Jas…
it does get painful doesn’t it…you could try Sylk, it’s probably the best of all the lubricants…I apply it my husband :slight_smile: so he gets double the pleasure LOL - there’s also another thread on here somewhere about using Replens as well (available from Boots apparently)

good luck and have fun

You could try Durex Play - they’re Ok lubes and fun to use together. I think there are a couple available, we have ‘tingle’ and ‘heat’ (blow on it once applied and it’ll heat up). Worth a try :slight_smile:

Hi jas

You may find it useful to have a look at the BCC booklet on breast cancer and intimacy as it has a lot of information which you might find helpful. If you would like a copy just follow the link below:-

I hope you find this helpful

Kind regards

BCC Facilitator

Thank you all for your suggestions. Going to rush out to the pharmacy to get some ;O)

I am hoping that it will get better and i can enjoy the intimacy with my boyfriend.

Thank you for weblink as well. I will definitely have a look.


Hello Jas. I found sex very painful after chemo. I did a search on this site on ‘painful sexual intercourse’ and it came up with loads of posts. It seems that lots of women have the same problem.

I used Replens and Sylk and found the Sylk especially very good. If you Google ‘Sylk’ and go on to their own site they will send you a little free sample. It took a few weeks but things gradually improved until finally there was no pain.
Best wishes

Hi Jas,
You can get both Replens and Sylk on prescription from your Gp so hope it helps. Sylk from alternative health stores and as previous note from their own website. Sylk is all natural, Replens contains parabens (which some people are trying to avoid due to concerns) Although someone said recently they were not sure if Replens is still around but it is def in my local chemist !!?

Good luck,
Have fun…
Dawn X

I am on Vagifem pessaries, these are tiny little pills (by applicator) with a very small amount of oestrogen in , they reverse the horrible ‘vaginal senility’ effect of Arimidex etc. Your GP prescribes it, I checked it out with the oncologist and BC nurses before starting it, and it was approved, even though I do have very oestrogen positive cancer.
You might consider trying this, but good luck whatever you decide.
love Zoe

I am on Vagifem too, in my case there was no hormone involvement, but the menopause specialist and my oncologist both said the dose is only 1/10 what you get with HRT so perfectly safe. I only need to use it once a week now, but it really sorted out all the stuff like post menopausal mood swings, disturbed sleep and the horrible dry vagina. The itch drove me nuts at times.


I have used replens and sylk which both help.

Also the good news is that it does gets better with time because the vagina does ‘stretch’ again once you have sex. So if you use the products and you manage penetration (hurt for me first few times) it does get better with practice!

Good luck.


hi jas

glad someone is getting some! … or trying to !

I can remember reading something - I think it was on here - by a woman you had to stretch her vagina - she was given a series of things to insert that were slightly bigger until it got big enough - like Russian Dolls in reverse

from what I can remember it worked very well and she is now “normal” again

good luck

keep us posted!

love FB xx

found it!!!

it’s an old thread called …

Vaginal atrophy caused by aromatse inhibitors

it’s under chit chat and fun

if you search on “vaginal” you’ll find it

good luck
love FB xx

dear all
sorry been away for a long time and didnt get to say thanks to everyone for sharing their comments.

i am very pleased to say that sex has got better with time and practise. my boyfriend is very supportive and understanding, which really makes a big different. I am using replens which has made a big difference. I am really enjoying having sex too ;O)

thank you all.