On Radio 4, on You and Yours there is a very interesting piece on a chap who has been diagnosed with Prostate Cancer and he has kept a diary. He was warned he may become impotent and (at least in his 50s) was wretched about this.
Interesting we don’t get any warnings beforehand to consider perhaps one final fling?
Insofar as one can, I felt his pain …
Happily his clever surgeon kept the nerves in tact but it could easily have gone the other way.
Breast surgeons don’t really seem to give a damn about keeping nipples, their feeling, or doing much in the way of conserving anything when the m-op is decided for you.
Reg.
My surgeon was only too helpful, I was prepared to lose the lot as my lump was nearly underneath my nipple but he was determined that he could keep it for me,cut round the areola scooped out lump shoogled it about a bit and stiched back up, and because he stiched back round the areola you dont even see the scar, can’t priase his attitude and skill highly enough, just wish there were more like him out there.
Sandra
I could have done with your surgeon - where is he? He sounds very human.
Mine purported to be human but in the end he was just incompetent and they seem to answer to no one, sadly for us.
Anyway, glad to hear they are some decent medical men out there.
D
Can I ask a really personal question: don’t know why I should since mine is gone forever, and I miss it like hell, and will never get over it, but - do you actually have sensation in that conserved nipple inspite of all the shoogling aobut? and is it as good as it was before, or too soon to say, or different?
I mean, for those who get the opportunity of conserving their nipple it is important to know. Also, I have not had reconstructiondone yet becasue of not wanting to have the other side tampered with for fear of losing that sensation and without that I problaby won’t get a mathc for the recon.
sno
by the way I also wanted to say that all the same issues come up re. prostate cancer screening as breast screening: possibility of overdiagnosis and overtreatment. Only they are being less gung-ho about adopting prostate screening for that very reason, i.e. it is considered a serious matter to risk making a man incontinent and impotent when he might not even have a problem, but apparently it is okay to carry on with breast screening even though it is known for certain that some women are being treated unnecessarily and thus sexually compromised.
Hi again Sno (and all on here)
I agree with you on the apparent attitude among some medics of going all out to preserve a man’s sexual function. God forbid women should expect to keep theirs! Well, I’m going all out to make sure mine stays with me! Also, strange point but since my recon where the mastectomy was done through a cut around the areola (I lost this and nipple), I still have a ‘nipple sensation’ on a tiny area on the circular scar where my areola used to be - how wierd is that?!
Lots of love to all xx
Hi Cathy
I had some nipple sensation around the scar surrounding the removed nipple but it is now (1 year on)just a sort of sensitivity and not at all pleasant. I wonder if you keep reinforcing the idea that it is nipple sensation whether it will train your brain into accepting the new nipple and maybe trick you into it feeling real? I hope so!
Love to all
Jane x
Hi Jane
Thanks for posting that - thought my body was just being a bit wierd! I’ve yet to have the pleasure(!?) of having nipple recon (will be 3-4 months) although I know this is only aesthetic.
Strange isn’t it, I’ve just had a phone call from someone who I’ve been intimate with in the past (works away so casual friendship, although he spoke of a more serious relatinship earlier this year - ha, timing!). He’s phoned to see how I am and wants to come and say hi. A couple of months ago, this would have been the most natural thing in the world and I would have been happy to see him. I’ve just spent 1/2 hr feeling like I’ve been justifying myself and ‘hiding’ the extent of what I’ve had ‘done’. Don’t know if I can go through meeting up with him again as, if I saw a look of pity/horror/disgust in his eyes, it would really hurt so guess for now, it’s ‘friends only’ and I’ll just have to keep him at arms length - for now anyway! I know a lot of people would say … ‘If he’s worth it … la di dah!..’ but he is a nice enough guy - I just don’t think he could handle it - let’s hope I’ve got that wrong. Funny thing is, I actually like my recon (was prepared for lot worse) & am even quite fond of it(!) (will be more so once nipple created!) so I suppose it would hit doubly hard if ‘he’ or any other future person had a bad reaction as this would make me feel I’d just been kidding myself. We’ll see I guess!
Sorry, just being self indulgent, but thought it relevant to this thread, also Jane, I know you fully understnad this situation as a fellow ‘current single’ (there, how’s that for optimistic~~!!)
Lots of love to everyone xx
Hi Cathy and all
It is a dilemma and the nice guy thing is not, in my experience, much to do with it. Restaurant Guy was a really nice guy. I don’t doubt you will still come over as sexy and warm, if feeling a bit more fragile about your naked apppearance. But you do need to protect yourself from possible bad reactions because it hurts a bit too much at this stage of the game. Also ignore EVERYTHING you have read about intimacy on the bc websites - they do not remotely address single sexual behaviour. I am happy to pm but do not know how if you want to swop notes?
Love to all
Jane x
Jane x
Hi there, Dahlia my surgeon was Mr Crawford, based in Bangor and Llandudno North Wales, cant rate him highly enough both in his manner and his handiwork. In fact whn I went to M&S before my op and got measured up for comfy post op bras the assistant commented on how his “ladies” were all very pleased with their results and had hardly any scarring.
Sno , in answer to you, my boob is only 4 months post op and the nipple isn’t quite 100% as perky as before but feelings are there even though part of the areola feels hard underneath which I take to be scar tissue, don’t know if that will improve more with time but Im more than happy with it just now.
Sandra x
well, all I can say is, I am deeply deeply envious of those who have any sensation at all, even if less than before, and full of sorrow and regret that mine is gone forever.
Perhaps I should be a tiny tiny bit encouraged that surgeons do exist who consider it important to conserve what they can of ‘you’. I feel ‘I’ was destroyed because sex is fundamental to what it is to be a person, isn’t it? and one on its own just doesn’t work, I find. I feel an ‘if only’ coming on, I’d better stop.
Love to all
sno
Hi Ladies,
Just a quick note on saving nipples - I consider myself very fortunate that I had a fab surgeon, and had chemo before surgery which did shrink the cancer, so was able to have a skin and nipple saving mastectomy (with immediate implant), and she also removed several nodes through the same incision. Everything has healed up wonderfully (opp was Feb 08) and now you can hardly tell visually that I’ve had surgery, but I must confess I have no sensation in the nipple or the skin around it, although it does still react to the cold!!!
Shannon