Hi Charys
Hope you have had a good day. Yesterday I went into my work & they were lovely to me. It was very emotional to see lots of friends & colleagues & my bosses. They were all so kind concerned & welcoming. Today I went out for a walk taking your advice which was refreshing & good to get out & about. I do still feel the aches & pains but am trying to get on with the day instead of thinking into everything. I am struggling with like a burning sensation in my tummy sometimes but hopefully this will ease. Perhaps it’s an effect of stress. I can’t shake this really sad feeling & am trying to remind myself of your kind wise words about the people in the supermarket & around me of whom I don’t know what their situation is & not to assume I am the only victim. I am trying hard to be less self indulgent & more positive but is just tough sometimes. I am attempting to eat & keep strong as have chemo next week on 26th May. How are you? Reading over our conversation I hope to become as strong & brave as you. Silvia xxx
Hi Charys
How are you? Did you have a good day? Thank you so much for your response. I felt like I had really achieved something when you mentioned to me about having gone into work when previously I hadn’t thought of it as being brace. Thank you. I did a bit of work from home today not much but a bit on the laptop & it took my mind off of things. I still have that burning sensation so am going to mention it to oncologist when I have chemo next week. I am a bit scared about it & imagining all kinds of things so better to ask about it like you said. Also I am afraid about the next chemo as I think this is when the hair loss will come which is frightening. I try not to be vain about it & even though I have had it cut short in preparation for hair loss it will still be awful to see it fall out. I know it’s got to be done to get me better so I am trying to be brave about it. Anyway I know now that when I feel rough after the chemo I will be messaging you so please excuse me in advance if I trouble you next week. I will also read our past conversations as I know these will help me. Thank you so much. Going to try & sleep now. Hope you have a good day tomorrow. Silvia x
Hi Charys how are you? Had a bit of a down day today. I think I am so afraid of the chemo I am having on Thursday. I know it’s silly but I am sad at the thought that I will probably lose my hair eyebrows & eyelashes as I think this normally happens on second chemo. I feel stupid because I know & I am thankful to have the chemo I just dread losing the hair. I am also afraid of the pains I feel near my breast bone & imagining all sorts of things. I am driving myself crazy. Did you do that? I feel so scared & self piteous. Today I was thinking will it ever be possible to live a normal life & wake up not be afraid of each day. Sorry to be so miserable it’s just most people around me don’t understand why I get so low & yet I can’t help it. I did go out today though as I remember it’s important to not stay in all day. Did you have a good day? We had visitors round so it was nice & of course my two cats made me smile xxx
Hi Charys
How are you? I had a friend from work visit me today so it was lovely to see her & really nice her to come see me. I went to meet her in a coffee shop nearby to ensure I got out of the house then we came back home to chat & catch up on news. I have chemo this Thursday so am busy making a list of questions & things that I want to mention to the nurse & oncologist. I always a bit afraid to ask questions as I know they are busy but I would like the answers to my worries. Do you think it would be avoid idea to have a massage as my back feels achey & this sometimes gives me headaches. I don’t know but maybe the stress is also causing the pains in my breast & areas around it. Will be sure to ask them this as well at chemo. When I read your message it reminds me that although it seems such a long time ago this nightmare started you remind me that it hasn’t been that long. I just need to keep reading your responses & believe that life will be normal & that I can think about life after this journey. Your spirit, courage & words help me remember this thank you. Small steps like you said. So chemo this week lets get that done first then next step. Your rad treatment commence on 1st June doesn’t it? What happens there? How many sessions will you have? Wednesday having a very short crop at hairdressers to try & lessen sadness of hair loss. I have also done small amount of work from home today so am trying to keep occupied. I am really worried I’ll hit that terrible low few days that I did after my last chemo session but at least I will be a bit prepared for it. Forgive me in advance if I message you feeling very down on those days. I contacted the counselling lady & she is back next week so will email her then. She did give a mobile number but I’m not an emergency so will send her an email when she is in the office & see when I can go to see her & join a group session perhaps. To join the monthly group do you just add a post to theirs? Hope you have a good day tomorrow. Will let you know how chemo goes this week. Let me know how you are. Am
Going to make sure I go outstanding least once a day. Good advice for you thank you xxx
Hi Charys,
How are you? Hope you are enjoying the sunshine today. I know my cats are! I have also been out today & my brother & sister in law came round which was lovely. We talked about loads of things & even looked at my parent’s wedding album which was interesting & we even saw some of each of our christening photos. So I had my second chemo session on Thursday which was good. The cold cap was ver freezing as my hair is shorter as had it cropped to try & lessen sadness of losing it completely which I kind of expect to but hope not to lose all of going forward. Anyway so cold cap was quite excruciating at first but eased abit. The nurse was so kind and caring & really made sure I was ok all the way through it. I saw the breast cancer nurse who was very calming & is going to email me next week to check how I am. She was very giving & suggested many useful things including counselling & is going to put me in contact with a counsellor who I can see next time I go there. The oncologist who is a wonderful, lovely & kind lady came to see me & listened to any questions I had & gave me answers to them which was very reassuring. She also prescribed me tablets to ease the heartburn which is apparently quite common when having chemo which also reassured me & the tablets are helping. I was also told whilst I was there that very dry skin is common & that E45 which contains lanolin is very helpful for this. I know that time flies & you are right before we know it there will summer then autumn & this year will zoom. Just right now the journey seems long. Six more chemo to go. I do feel a bit weak tired & still scared but this forum has helped. I will write again next week. I am trying to prepare for hair loss the depression & lack of appetite but I don’t think I am really prepared so I will have to deal with it as it comes. You will probably get a message from me feeling sad & sorry for myself. I apologise for that now. Please let me know how you are & I will be thinking of you this ,Wednesday. Lots of luck to you xxx