Shopping compulsion

Shopping compulsion Hi everyone,

Am getting a bit worried about myself and shopping! Was always a good shopper but since dx April 06 can, and do, shop for England! Can’t seem to stop myself either. If try to reason with myself, then think ‘what the hell - may not be here much longer so may as well enjoy!’ lso addicted to buying on Ebay - so doesn 't help to barricade myself in the house either!! One of friends said it was probably my way of coping with everything. Just that it’s getting so expensive now and am not working yet - think boredom is also part of the problem!

Just wondered if anyone else is like this - any input would be very much appreciated.

Love Jean xx

Tell me about it!

I never really used to enjoy shopping all that much and just lately I have been watching shopping channels and buying whatever I fancy from shops. Yesterday I went on QVCs website and bought a necklace, some earrings and some makeup. Shopping channels used to send me to sleep, now I tune in every few hours! Like you I think it’s boredom.

Aw, honey -don’t be too hard on yourself.

I went through a period - midway through chemo - of bidding for Art Deco china on ebay. It’s not something I ever collected before! I bought five pieces within 2 weeks and spent more than I could afford. I then moved onto clothes for my daughter, then small pieces of furniture. My fiance eventually had to say ‘enough is enough’.

I think it’s a way of diverting your mind from the serious business that is a cancer diagnosis. I had been spending a lot of time on cancer-related websites and getting myself panicky and depressed. Shopping for trivial stuff represented a few moments of release from my fears. In a sense buying things is a positive move as it signifies that you are thinking about the future. Boredom is definitely part of it too. I am off work but my daughter still attends nursery so I have a lot of time on my hands.

I don’t think there is any harm in it as long as it doesn’t cause financial problems and you know when to stop. It is important to look at why you are doing it so you can at least have control over it. I find watching funny DVDs and reading certain books does the job probably just as well so I intend to make my pleasures cheap until I return to work. (Although I do have my eyes on a very nice pair of shoes!)

Lola

Me too!
I was dx in march op end of march and just had second chemo. the urge to shop at first was really strong, i have always enjoyed shopping, but lately if i see, i buy. Althought the past few weeeks i have clalmed dowm. i do think it is a way of dealing with this c*#p. Somehow you feel better when you buy something, maybe because you are in control, especially when you buy clothes, i think it helps you to still feel feminine.
I have had to calm down a bit now as not working and money is tight, but enjoy while you can and all the best with your treatment.

Nadia xx

Me too! Hi Jean,

I’m right there with ya when it comes to the shopping compulsion! I have been shopping for england pretty much since I was diagnosed in March, although I have calmed down a little of late!! Just a little mind!

Like you I started thinking ‘oh what the hell, I might as well enjoy it while I can, don’t know how long I’ve got left…’!! Have to say that since I started chemo it has started to slow down though. I’m starting to realise that the chemo is slowly making me better and all being well I’m gonna be here for a very long time to come. Still enjoy the odd splurge but my need to spend enormous amounts of money on things ‘I absolutely must have’ has subsided. Thank goodness says my boyfriend! Not that he was complaining too much at the time when I was buying him a new newcastle united shirt or tickets to see Rod Stewart!

Take care and happy shopping. Retail therapy rocks!!

Kelly
-x-

Me too ! Started off with skincare treats, lot of Liz Earle as used her stuff already, and took them into hospital with me and pampered myself 2 or 3 times a day. Got the newsletter recently and bought both the special offers as you got a bag! I love Liz Earle freebie bags.

Bought quite a few new clothes as my bust size went from a 38F to 38D and I intend to buy lots of lovely bras when everything settles down. You know how some women buy shoes or bags - well I buy bras. I think it started because I found it hard to find pretty ones in larger sizes so if I did find one I bought it, even if I did not need it. Of course now there is a bigger choice - Asda are great - I prefer them to M&S for bras. I have about 35 ranging from 36E to 38F and am going to have a big try on session after all my treatment finished and this recon boob finally settles down, think their may be one or two I can keep. After that I will be looking for a good home for them!

After that it was makeup - don’e wear that much usually but with no hair thought I ought to make the effort.

QVC - always bought the odd thing here and there, perhaps 2 or 3 things a year - usually the TSV - well in the last 6 weeks I got something nearly every week. Have sent 3 things back - thanks to their 30 day money back.

Why, because we are worth it! The feelgood factor. And also I suspect a lot of us have not spoiled themselves for years and now we are learning to put ourselves first a bit more.

Now I am pulling the reigns in - was looking in the charity shop windows today - when the kids were small used to get loads of stuff there, so maybe I can get my kicks there again. Have bought some scarves already.

Anita :slight_smile:

shopping oooohhhh me too!
and there’s only so many scarves and hats I can buy
A friend dropped by to visit me and mentioned she wanted to go buy some new shoes. In less than 2 mins i had found exactly what she wanted on the net
I think its boredom too -housework doesnt have the same appeal and its too much like hard work
lol!
Julie

Hi everyone,

Thanks so much for your lovely reassuring replies - at least am not on my own here! Loved the comment from Anita about ‘cos we’re worth it’ - you are sooo right. Also agree with Julie about housework - can’t seem to get round to doing much these days - think it’s cos have realised that there are more important things to be doing!

Have been really good this week and only spent on food and toiletries (how boring!!). But also I too love charity shopping - so that’s an idea - maybe I can get ‘my fix’ there - and it’s so much cheaper!

Thanks again, and good luck to everyone.

Love Jean xx

GLAD ITS NOT JUST ME!! I had always been very worried about money/spending…but since DX…thats gone out the window…mind you my credit card bills have also gone up!!!
Anitas so right though ‘we are worth it’’ each and everyone one of us.

karen xx

Spending again today Went for my first Taxotere and would not give it to me as have swollen finger and red blotchy mark on arm and back on my op side. Got to take antibiotics for a week. Feel fine, no temperature, but Tax is a strong one and they take no risks.

So what is a girl to do - off to the shops, OH in tow and only a couple of hours sleep last night - don’t know what effect high dose steriod has on anyone else but I talk constantly - mostly a load of twaddle - and just can’t switch off my brain.

Anyway, was looking for new cossie - higher at front and back to cover scars - tried on load but finally got one in Evans and it was reduced. Then some long sleeves gardening gloves - very fetching.

Happy shopping :slight_smile:

funny thing is it affected my hubby, he could already spend for england but my god did he spend.
phew thank god things have settled down, lol

Not just shopping… Hi Daisies (and other shoppers)

Me too…in fact the whole BC thing has changed me so much…post mastectomy in March last year and during chemo I shopped and changed my “look” and shopped and changed my look again. And I’m 55 - thought I’d grown out of all that!! I think it is something to do with feeling scared, might not be here for ever, and very vulnerable about my body - one sided is not that attractive. Also, if you look good on the outside, maybe you’ll be fine ( ie cancer free ) inside - illogical, I know. I think if you’re waiting for results and worried about aches and pains, shopping is a great distraction - as is the internet - you think you may just find the very reassurance or answer you need. I’ve also found I’ve become far more self indulgent - not working as much but seem to waste my time, have a lady to clean the house and still dont have the energy to DO much. I feel I should be “out there” making the most of things. To change the subject completely…is it Tamoxifen that makes me feel this way?
Anjie x

I got my QVC treats in the post today, it was so exciting!

I said to OH I shouldn’t really be spending, but he said it was therapy. A big statement coming from a bloke, so I am taking it as gospel lol!

Message for Anjie Hi Anjie,

Couldn’t believe your post when I read it - it could have been me talking! Sooo identify with everything you said. I too search the internet everyday for reassurance or more information. Also I too have become much more self indulgent - really can’t get down to cleaning, ironing, etc! Then get really cross with myself. I wonder if it is the Tamoxifen making us feel like this.

PS- we have a cavalier king charles spaniel too - Sally - - also have another dog, Harry - they are my babies - I spoil them rotten!!!

Love Jean xx

shopping I thought it was only me, have spent a fortune on having the back garden astro turfed for the three dogs, have bought myself an electric riser recliner and spent a second fortune on the internet on books dvds and anything else I fancy. I too kept thinking I probably wont make it to my nineties like my dad who died last year.

val

Shopping, Tamoxifen, Ponds and Dogs Hi Daisies and other tamoxifen sufferers

I dont really have any specific remedies for the hot flushes and sweats. I sleep in a draught - all doors and bedroom windows open! Also 100% cotton bedlinen from John Lewis. Run my wrists under the cold tap and substituted ginger beer for coffee. Also calm, slow breathing as they come on…think calm,cool thoughts.

Does this bc stuff make everyone so up and down? I’ve been really positive and optimistic and then quite low and worried. This week felt loads better and have been really busy - worked 2 extra days and have been designing and planning a pond - just visualising it built and well stocked and planted has been so therapeutic. I read an article which said growing things, allotments, veg and gardening generally are really good for cancer patients and loved ones. Watching plants shoot and grow is supposed to be very healing. Also been looking after poorly cavalier spaniel - only 18 months old and never been ill before - that has taken my mind off me!..I’m sure thats part of the answer.

Havent SHOPPED this week, but did buy really pretty but tough llooonnnggg gardening gloves -cream leather palms and flowery gauntlets! - great for lymphodoema arms - wesite bradleystannery - but I bought them at a charity do. Met a friend who has just been diagnosed with a recurrence - thats 3 girls in a few weeks. What are the statistics of it coming back? Is it anything to do with a secondary cancer? Just typing away here and suddenly getting really worried.

Anyway…vets appt in a min …for dog…but good to get all this off my …er…chest…not sure thats right expression any more.

Anjie x

Me too, but had no interest in clothes and going out, so spent fortunes in home improvement’s felt OK through chemo (apart from the odd day or 2 after treatment) so painted house top to bottom (plus also working full time) and replacing bedding, pictures, soft furnishings, new doors a new patio, everything. This year just starting to relax and enjoy it. Did get nagged at by friends and family to take it easy and slow down, think I needed to prove that this dreadful disease will not beat me.

Me also!!
I was begining to think I was getting a problem and might have to join some sort of AA for shoes and handbag addicts! Every week I was buying new clothing. My wardrobe is bulging at the seems! On one particular weekend I bought 5 pairs of shoes! I finished my chemo in Feb and am back in work full time, the spending has since dramatically decreased, as I simply don’t have the time to shop! Think it is a boredom thing and prehaps a coping mechanism.
Glad I found this thread to know it was the norm for lots of you too!
Lisa x

Blinkin’ 'ell, Anita… 35 bras… :sunglasses:

At any one time, I have in my current size… * 2 *

(probably because I’m also big and they cost 23-24 quid each…)

In addition to that, maybe a couple in the size I was previously in if they’re in reasonable shape, just for emergencies…

mousy, who thinks bra retail therapy must be a serious problem…

I bought three garments in a sale yesterday from the american designer diane von furstenberg. cost an arm and a leg. When I got cancer I decided to live for today. I saved myself about £200 so although I spent over £500 it was cheap at the price

Mole