Hi Everyone, just needed to ‘chat’ with others who may either be feeling similar or have good tips! I finished chemo just over a year ago and have been back at work just about a year. I’ve come home from work really tearful today, I just don’t seem to be as efficient and have lost a lot of self confidence. I need to work and keep ‘battling on’ but am worried that high stress levels aren’t good.Anyone else having similar experiences?
Love Smiler
x
yep! And I’m 9 years on (see my post earlier today). It’s all normal and I guess we have to allow ourselves to show these emotions. Thank goodness for this forum though. You know you’ll find people here who understand, who sympathise and who can offer real support - because they’re going through the same thing. Hang on in there Jacky x
Hi Smiler
I am sorry to read you’re feeling down at the moment. In addition to the forums BCC offer other support services which you may find helpful. The peer support service is a telephone service that aims to quickly put you in touch with one of our trained peer supporters, who has had a personal experience of breast cancer. They are ready to listen, offer skilled emotional support and share their experiences and understanding.
We also run a live chat session every Thursday evening form 9 to 10pm where you can talk in real time on line with others who have a diagnosis of breast cancer. If you would like to join on Thursday just click on the live chat link on the front page of the forums.
For more information about these and our other support services avaialble, please telephone our helpline on 0808 800 6000 (Mon-Fri 9am-5pm and Sat 9am-2pm)
I hope this helps.
Take care
Lucy
Thank you for your replies, yes this forum really is fantastic and so wonderful to know that we are all here for each other.
love smiler
x
In a word, No you shouldnt be coping better! Life has changed forever and anythiung and everything can make me freak out! I bumble along until i get the attack of the heebie jeebies or wonder why it takes me 3 days to get over 1 shift at work THEN i remember what ive been through!
Someone said it on here once, we are cut, poisoned and burnt during our treatment and it all takes time to heal physcially and mentally.
One step at a time!
X
Keep going!
X
Thanks Evie, you’re right we have been through a lot and thank goodness we’ve got each other to talk to! just had a glass of wine and hoping for a good nights sleep and a day of coping better tomorrow!
Love Smiler
x
It’s a long road back after all the treatment but you’ll get there. I’m a year on this week from my surgery - radiotherapy finished in May last year - and I still get days when I feel down and am convinced I’m not ‘coping’. However, I know that’s not true and I’d say it’s probably similar for you. You’ve come through a traumatic period of your life and you coped with that, so try being busy and don’t be on your own too much. That’s when you’ll ‘think’. Also try and take the pressure off by doing things that relax - like Tai Chi. It’s brilliant for body and mind - I only found it a couple of weeks ago and feel better already! Good luck! S
Thanks for those words SusieABee. Hadn’t thought about tai chi, may have a look around and see if there’s a class at a convenient time. You’re right about having coped with a lot, amazing what we get through isn’t it. Hope you are doing well.
Smiler
x
Please don’t beat yourself up about not coping as well as you ‘should’ - who can define how any of us ‘should’ deal with this? It’s hard, if not impossible, for anyone who has not been through it, or had a loved one go through it, to have any idea what it is like.
In March 08 I was in hospital after mastectomy and recon, followed by a summer of chemo, and rads until November. Went back to work in Jan 09, to the job I’ve had 10 years, but though I am certainly the oldest employee, I still feel the others are carrying me, and making allowances for my feeble, snappy, weepy or spaced-out days. At 53 I won’t be changing job, I’ve no confidence to sell myself. The boss is a star, but young enough to be my son, and the firm is too small to have anyone I could talk to - so I’ll plod on until retirement, unless they ‘let me go’ before then.
Do you have friends you can open up to? I didn’t talk to anyone outside family about the cancer, and have become a real hermit other than going to work each day. The kids live at home, but are all grown, my ex is back with his on-off girlfriend, and I don’t see anyone outside work. I had a very black spell after Christmas, but have just started running (in the dark, so nobody’s about), and went swimming (alone) tonight, for the first time since the operation. That was nice, and I’ll try to go each week. Losing weight and feeling fitter will be good, but just getting out moving and achieving something was a huge confidence boost, they’re things I can do alone but get great pleasure from. If a class of tai chi or similar would appeal to you, that sounds a brilliant way of building confidence and restoring some balance when your life has been knocked so badly off course.
Hang in there, spring and light evenings are coming, that alone might make a massive difference to our mood - I hope so.
xxx
If only there was a magic wand to make it better…
I was diagnosed May 08 and surgery and chemo followed. We all cope with it in very personal ways but I’m not sure if there is any ‘getting over it’. I have good days and bad days but there is always this underlying sadness that I struggle with, it’s always there, just below the surface.
There are things that keep it in check and I agree with Susie about Tai Chi. I started a class last September and it restores my balance, it focuses my mind and strengthens my body. I had a class this morning after missing 6 weeks for some surgery (another story) and I hadn’t realised how much I had missed it.
Swimming too is very therapeutic, great for all over fitness and water is so relaxing.
Take care of yourself smiler, we cope as best we can and no one can ask for more.
Marita x
Thanks so much to everyone for responding, reading your posts coupled with the sunny weather has made me feel a lot more ‘upbeat’ today. Hope you’ve all had the sunshine too, makes such a difference doesn’t it.
Take care
love Smiler
x
Sunshine makes a huge difference - roll on the spring! Went for a mammogram check up today after my first one 18 months ago when I had the dreadful news. I’d been worrying about it for the last month but was so calm I almost didn’t recognise myself. Put it down to the Tai Chi which heals the body and the mind - and lots of prayers!! Try to talk to friends if you need to but be strong and positive. You’ll get there. xx
SusieABee I think you’ve done brilliantly not getting worked up for a mammogram. I always find I’m worked up (more than the usual!!) when I’ve got an appointment coming up! It’s my 6mnth check with my onc next week. These are just hurdles we have to get over aren’t they? I actually switched the computer on to search for local Tai Chi and found myself on here, so definitely going to get looking after this post, sounds like a good thing to do! I’m lucky having a very supportive family and lovely friends but sometimes it’s just so nice to come on here and share thoughts with people who are going through similar rather than worry family/ friends even more than i already have!Let’s hope for more sun tomorrow.
Love Smiler
x
Hi
I am 12 years post mx and just considering recon. I completely identify with your comments and even after all these years there are still some times when I get a bit down and think ‘what if’.
For myself, after surgery, chemo and radiotherapy, I started to think about the things I’d always wanted to do but never got around to. One of those things was dancing and I decided I was going to take a class in ballroom and latin. My husband who had supported me through all the bad times wasn’t too keen. He’s a rock when I need him but for himself, he can be a bit negative. When I suggested dancing, he wasn’t very keen but I had made up my mind and was going to try it no matter what. As it turned out, my hubby decided to try it ‘one time’ only. Eleven years on we are still both enjoying our dancing and have made so many wonderful friends along the way.
I really don’t think I would ever have got round to dancing if it hadn’t been for the cancer diagnosis and I really can’t imagine how we could live without our dancing now.
Make of this whatever you will but I just thought I’d like to share this with you.
Best wishes.
Awadan
x
I am eighteen months down the line from my treatment and on Tamoxifen and anti depressants. I thought I was coping but these last few months I have found myself full of tears and tired out. I have never felt as rotten as I do now, everthing is too much trouble and all I want to do is sleep. I had a small invasive cancer (1.4mm) wide excision biopsy and radiotherapy (I had a very nasty reaction to that). I had convinced myself that all would be well but now I am really finding looking on the bright side difficult. I am finding hard to concentrate at work and my marriage is really suffering too. Just hope it will all improve in time.
Love to all
Jillyf,
It sounds like maybe your antidepressants are not working or the dose needs adjusting.Depression is very common after BC and its important to get help.Please see your GP and tell him how you feel.Maybe some time off work or some counselling where you can explore your thoughts with someone neutral would help.I have had counselling and I take antidepressants.
Big hugs,
Dot
xxx
I am 2 years down the line and certain things still set me off on the emotional rollercoster. Although has improved over the years, i still feel very vulnerable and low in confidence.
rachy xx
hi all, its good to feel i am not the only one feeling like this,and i am miserable. i am 2 and a half years down the road, WLE rads stage 1c grade 2, been on tamoxifen for the 2and half years and last month changed to aromasin ( i am 53 ) i work 12 hour shifts with local government and although they have made a small adjustment to help i just get so tired, and all my bones ache i feel 80 some days.(swapped night for days but still 12 hours ) i have noticed a pattern and every 6 months or so i have to have be put off by gp to recharge batteries, does it get better when hormone treatment finishes ? everyone seems to think it is all tickety boo now, thanks for letting me let off steam .
best wishes
Annie
Hi there Smiler. Sorry - only just come back to this post and saw your message earlier. Think it’s brilliant you’re going to look for a Tai Chi session somewhere. There are loads around but you have to be choosy. If it’s not quite ‘you’ you could always try yoga or Pilates. They’ve definitely had a calming effect on my hectic lifestyle post cancer. Forums are great for advice aren’t they?!! Susie x