Well, I’ve lived to tell the tale so here goes.
She didn’t ask me how I was feeling or say I looked good when I opened the door to her.
She asked if I had been on a diet as she thought I was thinner. I said no, but I was into doing a lot of basic yoga so more elongated. For the record, she looks verging on anorexia; she’s 5ft 8 and down to a size 10, her bottom and bust seem to have disappeared and her face is gaunt. She has size 12 trousers on which were hanging on her.
She asked if I was dyeing my hair…
We had a conversation about menopause as she’s been on HRT for 10 years. When I brought cancer into the conversation she carried on reading a magazine at the kitchen table, then she asked me about a lady I know who is about have both breasts reconstructed.
She stayed for dinner with us, but my OH took her to a railway station immediately afterwards as a friend is flying up to spend 2 nights with her, so she had to get off and meet her at the airport. She has spent the last few days with some people she met on holiday last year.
And that was it really. Very stilted and strange, not like sisters should be with each other at all. I have had more personal conversations with work colleagues in the past.
I had a talk to my OH last night as I have felt so pathetic this past week and he has said I need to work on having some form of coping strategy for her visits. I’m inclined to agree with this and think I will bring it up at my counselling session this week. At the moment I don’t really know how to approach things, I feel totally at a loss. Just when I feel I am moving on it’s like I’m getting sucked back in.
Sometimes the people wh are supposed to be close to has have trouble being sympathetic. I do not have sisters but both my brothers have been very supportive mainly because we seem to spend most of our time discussing our mums lack of support in certain ways. Im sure shes not aware of it but I feel I have enough on my plate coping with everyday lifebut my mums priorities are constantly going on about insignifican things, like the colour of my front door and the fact that she is not keen on me having reconstruction ( I mean what difference could having 2 boobs make to my already lonely and desolate Life)
I suppose basically your sister may be having a hard time dealing with all this aswell, selfish ? yes probably but unfortunatelly common for the people who actually have cancer.
Keep going with the counselling Im sure it will help
I’ve felt awful all day today - didn’t get off to a good start because I slept in this morning (have had an insect bite on my lag and it’s made me feel run down all week). I was doing well until 10 days ago, now I’m completely in the dumps. I would love to go away for a few days as it doesn’t look like we’re getting a proper holiday this year on account of the business. Unfortunately, OH needs 7 days in September to go to London partly for business and I will need to be here in the office. Haven’t had any time away since last October and that was only 5 days.
I really feel I need that counselling session on Friday - I have to attend a business lunch type thing tomorrow and I’m not feeling confident about talking to people. I hope I’m not moving backwards again.
Hi Cherub
how about you treat and pamper yourself that lifts anyones spirits, massage, nails, even window shopping just to give you a break. We went away in May and thats it now till next yr, but i feel like i could do we a few days away but we are working on the house. What about a long weekend away somewhere to give you something to look forward to x