I feel like im going out of my head. Its been 3weeks and 2 days since i noticed my first symptoms went the docs , then consultant tests , biopsies and yesterday my results … DCIS high grade, mastectomy inc lymph node… WTF. Being hit by a pink bus with square wheels wouldn’t of struck me as numb as this. I cant sleep I cant think straight however much I try.
I know you ladies are all feeling the same 
big hugs n xxxxxx to you all.
Anyway my confusion/worry is im a 34g with implants I feel ive researched as much as I can and me myself and I have decided that the tummy flap (diepflap*) is the most suitable … except the nurse thinks they cant do that because of me smoking in the past and only given up 3 months ago .and she has said that the back fat is the best option. … but I highly disagree. Im not fat but I do have some betty back fat I must get to work on when im healthier but in my opinion if they take one side that leaves my other looking odd … its a bit like robbing peter to pay paul if you get me ? !?? Why cant they take 2 and make it symmetrical? ? Defeats the object of trying to even your chest out . Anyway I feel strongly that that isn’t an option for me.
Then theres the dermal matrix method but is it true that you can only go to a cup c ??? Because thats out of the question also. I want a D-DD or around abouts id look incredibly silly any smaller.
I am not loosing site as to why im having this and im grateful they do their best but whats gonna happen if im not happy on the method of reconstruction and vice versa. 
Its so difficult to to think straight its driving me insane
Thanks for reading if you got this far. Xx
Hi kelsbels78
It sounds like you’re having a pretty tough time at the moment, I’m sure some of the other users will be along soon to offer your their experiences and support.
In the meantime you might find it helpful to talk things through with a member of staff on the BCC helpline. Here you can talk through how you concerns and how you are feeling with someone who will offer you a listening ear as well as emotional support and practical information.
The number to call is 0808 800 6000 and the lines are open Saturday 10 to 2pm and Monday to Friday 9 to 5pm.
Best wishes Sam, BCC Facilitator
Hi, sorry to hear your having a bad time, I got diagnosed with DCIS in June which also was a huge shock, I am 29 with a daughter who is 9 so was really worried and upset at first. Since then I have come to terms with it taking the attitude that they found it early, it’s pre cancerous cells and it could be a lot worse!
I had to have a mastectomy which I had 2 weeks ago
& am at home recovering, I am a C/D cup sky at first was told the reconstruction from my stomach would be best. After a consultation I was then told I didn’t have enough fat so the best they could do would be a B cup. Seeming as I was only having 1 removed I didn’t want them 2 totally different sizes so after discussion had a reconstruction using the muscle from my back, I think this is an LD flap & I also had an implant.
I understand all your concerns do really do, I was so worried before the operation. The surgeon seems to have done a good job but it’s early days and so still very swollen so it’s difficult to see. I was terrified to look at first!
Sorry I can’t answer all your questions as such but if I can be of any help let me know and do try not to worry too much xx