so low today ....

i have got up feeling ok had nice bath but then felt really down was just watching neighbour over the back with hubby in garden and just felt so low wishing so much my hubby was here, just started crying so sad my kids are going through this crap again , i look at families around me my age who still have parents and partners and i have lost my parents to cancer and my hubby to brain cancer and just know in my heart eventually i will lose too no matter how positive we try to be this disease is relentless and evil, could just sit and cry today…sorry to offload i dont do pity parties but do today…i know you are all on this journey too love to you all and massive hugsxxxxxxxxxx

Sorry to hear you are feeling so down. There is really nothing I can say except to give you a big cyber hug. It’s funny but I was just surfing Facebook and thinking how everyone else can make plans etc. It’s really hard sometimes. I am very fortunate to have a supportive husband and son, but sometimes I am really angry that I am going to have to say goodbye far too soon. I try to be an ostrich most of the time. The very sad passing of a couple of ladies that I exchanged pms with has really got me thinking.
Try to distract yourself if you can. I am about to nip into the garden for a spot of reading. My latest chemo is making me tired so I shall probably nod off.
Thinking of you xxxxxxx

MASSIVE (((HUGS))),I am now lighting a candle on the for you under initial FQ feel so helpless cant come into your garden for a real hug.

Dear fairyqueen,

I am so sorry to read how low you are feeling today. You have been through, and are going through so much. There are no words that I can say to make things better, but just wanted to say that I am thinking of you and sending massive hugs. Do you have friends or family nearby that you could see/invite round? But I know sometimes that isn’t the answer either, sometimes I feel I am better on my own when I feel sad.

Sending huge cyber hugs,


Hello Fairyqueen,

I’m so sorry you’re feeling so low today - sending huge (((hugs)))) your way, and wanted you to know we’re all thinking about you! You’ve been through a huge amount of horribleness - take care of yourself!

With much love,
Shelley xxxxxxxxxxx

Apologies if you receive this message twice, I spent ages typing what I hoped was a really thoughtful reply and the ****ing thing has disappeared!

Your story is desperately sad and it impossible to say anything that will really help. However, I do know there is no reason (unless you know different regarding your prognosis) for you to assume you’re not going to make it, I damn well hope I am! I finished my treatment just before last Christmas and apart from a few ongoing side effects on the whole it’s good to be alive (considering the alternative). Also my mum had ovarian cancer 13 years ago and is thenkfully still with us.

I do remember feeling really depressed on occasion during chemo and (apart from the obvious), not really knowing why. It seems to be another dratted side effect, which always passed. I wonder if you could immerse yourself in some activity with your children, hopefully outside if the weather is good where you are, and try and ‘soak up’ some of their energy and happiness, try to let them carry you through (metaphorically) to when you feel a bit more optimistic. You are a little team and you all need each other so try and take some strength from that.

I remember one weekend after chemo the washing ‘went wrong’ and it felt like the end of the world and is now referred to in our household as the catastrophic washing machine failure (the washing simply needed redoing!). When you compare that to your losses it’s no wonder you feel down on occasion, hopefully you will start to feel better soon, tomorrow is another day. Don’t be too hard on yourself. treat yourself to something with your children, take care x

Hi FQ. Life is wonderful … and painful. I wish it was different!

Hugs and togetherness,

Sadie Xx Xx

thankyou all just had to get it out…hope i didnt bring you down love to all of you and again thankyou think all the hugs have worked :slight_smile: xxx

Excellent. I don’t know what I would do without the fantastic support from people from this site. Glad you are feeling a little better,
X Sarah

FQ, your posting helped me nd did not bring me down. It reminded me to make the most of each day. Thank you. Full of aches nd pains today nd am worried, but trying to forget it all as daughters 16th birthday cellebration. So, thank you for the reminder. Sorry if this sounds odd, but we help each other through cr** days.

Sadie Xx Xx

FairyQueen, bless your heart, you have suffered enough. I know this feeling, we have loads of medical problems in my family and when I got this I was so angry and kept looking at families who seemingly have no medical problems. Although I think that if you scratched the surface you would find that most families have their crap to deal with.
I like you was very negaitive in the beginning and just couldnt get away from the unfairness of it all. And I just thought that it was a case of ‘oh well I’ll get through this then what is next’.
Anyway like you I have been desperate at times but my best friend who has a severly disabled son told me that the black times are much esier to get through with a smile on your face and she is right.
The other girls are right, thousands of woman get through this. My mums cousin had it 40 odd years ago, had a mastectomy and chemo and is now nearly 80. Another lady I know had it 10 years ago and is fine.
Sending you a big hug. xxxx

Hug for you fairyqueen, everyone else has said it all so eloquently.


Ah Rachel :frowning: HUGE ((((hugs)))) to you. Breast cancer is the pits but secondary (tn)bc really is hell on earth. You + ur family have been thru so much it’s just not fair. I’m sure there is plenty of quality family time still ahead for you, hopefully you’ll feel a little better tomorrow. We hav2 get through the dark days to get to the better, brighter days. You are entitled to feel down + have wobbly days (you wouldn’t be normal if you didn’t !), so don’t feel guilty about it. We are all here 4u :slight_smile:
love tina xx

hi fairyqueen have just read your post. i have been through so many days like you are having myself recently so i just wanted you to know that i am thinking of you and sending you a great big hugs O O and wishing you a much better day

Hi Fairy Queen
I’m glad you are feeling a bit better now. My heart hurts for you.
Sometimes life does seem so unfair in how the hard stuff gets dished out.
You are entitled to have down days.
Hugs to you.

thankyou so much …so many lovely ladies on here going through this it hurts my heart but after a rough start have had several wines and off to bed my kids have give lots of hugs and cuddles off my little granddaughter so off to bed and hope to wake up better tomorrow…love hugs and massive thanks to you all god bless you all xxxx

hope you have a lovely night’s sleep and wake up feeling brighter tomorrow. Lots of love and best wishes toyou xxxx

thankyou lisa feel better today xxx

Hello fairy queen
I can empathises with you I was down there last week and it seems incomprehensible that after feeling practically suicidal then I’m fine now !
I too have a lovely little granddaughter who just does my heart good and I get to spend time with her as often as I can - even though she tires me out :slight_smile:
We just need to remember that tomorrow we will feel better sometimes I think that it’s hormonal and I’m going to keep a diary to see if there’s any patterns.

thankyou magda, its good to know we arent alone in this xxxx