So so scared

Hi everyone 

I get my core biopsy results tomorrow and I have worked myself into a frenzy this past week with the waiting.  Back in April 2019 I had a 3D mammogram and ultrasound and there was a large cyst that was drained.  In October last year I had another cyst but the ultrasound also picked up a possible solid lesion, I have been under a very experienced breast surgeon during this time and she said we would keep an eye on it, I had a follow up ultrasound in February and she said we would still keep an eye on it, then my last ultrasound two weeks ago she said it needs a biopsy as it has a shadowey area it is 1cm all up and has not grown during this time.  I’m now convinced it’s cancer and it’s been sitting in me for a year and I’m so upset I didn’t ask for a biopsy a year ago and just trusted the surgeon I’m terrified. 

Hi tralee

This is the time when everyone’s imaginations go into overdrive. The less wise consult Dr Google and terrify themselves further. I can safely say that almost everyone on the forums knows exactly how you feel and it’s normal.

I know this reply is very late (anastrozole insomnia lol) but first of all, you are confident of your consultant. That is a huge advantage. Second, I can’t tell you that it won’t be breast cancer but the majority of lumps do turn out to be benign and your consultant has been monitoring this area conscientiously. Had she believed there was any sign of cancer, she would not have delayed until now. So you now need to rid your mind of the image of nasty microscopic cancer cells escaping a tumour and riddling your body. It won’t be like that. You haven’t mentioned lymph nodes - they are the ‘angels’ that catch the rogue cancer cells and prevent them spreading elsewhere for as long as they possibly can.  So forget the idea of rampant cancer,

Forget? I know it’s impossible once the idea is there in your mind. But do try to get a better perspective. If you see your consultant tomorrow, why not ask if this is a possibility. Hopefully she will be able to reassure you. You have already discovered the nightmare of waiting, and more waiting. I’m afraid you have more ahead of you as you wait for results so make sure you look after your mental wellbeing. There are lots of self-hypnosis (relaxation) videos on YouTube and you may find something useful there. Certainly that’s what got me through my treatment. You may prefer something more active like running or walking with Nature. Anything to keep yourself grounded and free from terror.

I wish you well tomorrow and hope you won’t be back to join us (in the best sense). Take care x