it’s 3:30 in the morning and I’m led in bed listening to the birds waking up, this has become a regular event! thankfully my partner is led next to me fast asleep, for now anyway! I can’t believe it’s been just over 2 months since her double mastectomy and the scars have completely healed, it’s certainly been a different start to the year…initial diagnosis was DCIS in one breast, but decided to have both removed, turned out its Her2+ so she’s just had her third cycle of chemotherapy, halfway there! Herceptin to follow…she’s now officially hairless, she had long straight brown hair, we decided it would be a good idea to start shortening it before the chemo started, first with a bob, secondly a short little sexy number, finally followed by my handy work, a number 2 all over with some fancy lines shaved in! we sure had some fun doing that. She’s decided against breast reconstruction and is proud to go out in public bald. The other day she got upset when she looked at herself in the mirror naked, having no breasts or hair and feeling tired from the effects of the recent chemo, the funny thing is that I see no difference, the only thing I want is for her to be safe and happy, if she’s happy I’m happy. For all you ladies out there, just remember that us men are not as strong as you think! yes at times we may seem distant or not listen etc etc, but we will always be there for you and love you for who you are every step of the way no matter what, and yes, women are much stronger than us! 
So keep up the great work ladies, you are all an inspiration!
Hi Chris,
I cried while reading your post, it was so honest and reminded me of the way my OH is, he to shaved my head while I filmed it, please reassure your lady that treatment will finish and her hair will grow again, my Oh and I have cried, shouted and raged at the unfairness of it all, we have also laughed, joked and had fun but the main thing is we did it together, we are all far stronger than we realise.
Hugs to you both
Mary x
Chris
Wow, thank you so much for that very inspirational post,
I have been very lucky with my diagnosis and fortunately I did not need chemo, however, I have made some wonderful “virtual” friends, well for now anyway, as we are going to meet up when they have all finished their treatment, who have. They are totally inspirational in what they have gone through, put up with, come through and have had me in absolute stitches with their stories, we have also cried, been scared together and supported each other.
As maryminder has said there is light at the end of the tunnel for the both of you.
My partner has MS and is housebound therefore was not able to accompany me to the apts, diagnosis, operation, rads, he has had to watch me go off with my lovely friends who just sorted everything for me, he has never actually said how he has felt about what has happened to me, but the fear in his face the morning I went off for my op, I just wanted to take it all away from him. You men are amazing and thank goodness we have you next to us.
Helena xx
Fantastic post, Chris!
ann x
Thanks for the lovely post Chris. This really is a time when you realise how strong your relationship is. It’s all very surreal, like watching yourselves in a film. It can’t really be happening to YOU! I had shoulder length hair, had it cut to jaw length a couple of weeks before chemo and after my 2nd chemo, my hairloss was enough for my partner to do the honours of giving me the grade 2 all over. When he’d finished he said “you’re in the army now” to which I replied “in the fight for life”. I still have 5 chemos left then surgery, probably rads and tamoxifen. It’s a lot to go through but somehow you find the strength to stay on track and stay positive. My partner has been a tremendous support, making me laugh, eating all of the new superfoods I’ve introduced and giving up alcohol with me. We would find the battle much tougher without you guys for support…so, Let’s hear it for the boys!
What a lovely post, thank you Chris for sharing your thoughts. x
Thanks a lot to all of you, you “are” right…but I accept me as I am…all the quotations are right…Thanks a lot to you both!:smileywink: Patricia.
CHRIS…what a great husband, what a great man !! All the best to you and your lovely wife ! Xxxx
Hi Fairydust ,your fella sounds lovely and I really hope he comes through for you !! Try not to be superwoman though as you need to put yourself and your recovery first and foremost .Even long-term relationships are put under a lot of stress when you are diagnosed and some partners are brilliant others struggle with it all and it’s hard to predict which way it will go sometimes .My husband veered between being really supportive and it really getting him down and being a bit of a ****'!!!
It’s hard enough in an established relationship !!! Here’s hoping you find a way to navigate it all!!! Please come to us for support and to off load as we really understand .
Fairydust ,sorry you are having to go through the " full monty " when it comes to treatment .I haven’t been through chemo but I’m sure other ladies will advise .All I can say is that I hated feeling vulnerable and asking for support and help during my treatment but had to accept that it was one time in my life when I really had to accept and ask for practical and emotional support .You will need support from others- maybe you need to think about who you feel comfortable talking to about this and who you would feel comfortable accepting practical help from .
Glad you are feeling more positive - he obviously wants to help and has a good heart !!! Fingers crossed !!!
Yes strangely it is often easier to talk to people who are a bit removed from the situation .Keep offloading here- no problem -get it off your chest (as it were !!!)
We will be don’t worry - all been there,good days and bad days.
Hi everyone, great to read your experiences…
My partner has her last (6th) chemo this Monday, and so far so good, it’s been one hell of a journey but we are almost there, to continue where we left off. She also has her final surgery next month (full node clearance) then it’s just herceptin every 3 weeks until June next year, so we’ve decided to rent our house and live in Spain for a year after her surgery in September and fly back every 3 weeks for her herceptin injection, we will be living in our motorhome so can keep moving along the coast. Stay strong ladies, you’re all an inspiration! x