Hi I hope that you dont mind me writing on your site, only I have been visiting your website for the past couple of weeks and wish that I had been brave enough to look sooner, my son Nicky (who has been on your site) was diagnosed with a very aggressive cancer of the breast and lymphnodes 18 months ago, he was only 24 and I had too watch him go through a radical mascectomy, removal of lymphnodes and then within 4 weeks of surgery he started 6 months of chemo then radiotherepy he was so brave and all the while when he had lost all his hair, (head and body), fertility. chronic sickness, thlebitist, I could go on all night he never complained, he Just said mum 'these poor ladies, its so unfair, they should’nt have to go through all this suffering, yet there he was going through the same.
I just wanted to say that these were the scariest times of my life, but what a fighter, he is now on tomoxcifen and checked every 6 months, he never really complains, and as never said why me, and we pray that the worst Is over.
So I would like to say that for any of you ladies( sorry and you men out there) that have been newly diagnosed that there is hope, please be brave, dont try to go through It alone, lean on the people who love you, tell them your needs and fears, scream and shout but never stop fighting, you can do it.
Thank you If you read this, hope you were’nt too bored, Just my story.
Love and Hugs to you all
Irene x
Dear Irene
What a dreadful time for both you and your son Nicky. He is very young to have cancer and I often think about the poor men who get BC and how they must cope with a disease that is very rare to them. I think it is far worse coping with cancer in a loved one than coping with it when you have it yourself. My son had cancer as a baby, went through loads of chemo, radiotherapy, surgery etc and is now fit and healthy at 16. We had some terrifying moments and lots of good ones too, but it took it out of me far more than now as I have cancer myself. I can cope with that, its my body, but when it is your son suffering, it is so much more painful. I think both of us have been through it and come out the other side. It just goes to show that cancer can be cured in many many cases, unfortunately we tend to hear about the ones who don’t make it. I would be interested to talk to you further about Nicky’s care in terms of late effects - my son is being cared for by the paediatric oncologist until 18, on annual check ups then we are uncertain where he will go. There is a question mark over his fertility, which at the moment isnt an issue, but may be in the future. What have they said about Nicky?
My very best wishes go to you both
Cathy
XX
Hi cathy
thank you for taking the time to reply to my post,I am so sorry that you too are now suffering with this awful disease, but i understand when you say It Is somehow easier when its yourself and not your child, but even so still scarey,
Your son Is obviously a fighter like mine, how do they do It? you try to protect them from anything bad, and are never prepared for this.
Nicky looks as though he Is now infertile as the damage was done before the treatment, and tests have shown that there has been no change but I hope and pray that one day this changes as he will make a great dad one day.
I hope you have the same support as you gave your son, you sound very brave and together.
Love and hugs to you
Irene x
Dear Irene best wishes to you and your son, i have 3 sons and i would be in absolute pieces if it was one of them, i sometimes think it is easier to have cancer than it is to watch someone close to you go through it, sorry hadnt read what cathy had put, if its anyhelp your initial e mail has made me stop feeling so down, your son must feel so “unique” at times, but you can tell from your e mail you are both lovely people
Keep smiling
Anna
Dear Irene,
I would just like to say first I’m so sorry your son had to go through this BAS**** disease. I think Im young at 34 but 24 is alot younger.
I’m so pleased for you and your son that he is now doing well.
It is inspring to read positive stories and I think it is great that you have taken the time to post your experiences on here. This thread has come at the right time for me as i’m going through my third epi and keep looking at my 3 young daughters 1, 4 & 7 hoping and praying i will be around to watch them grow up.
Sukes
Dear Anna
It Is so nice to get replys to my post, I didnt really expect It as there Isnt really much support for men with b/c as so rare, but Nicky Is a fighter and never gave up however bad he felt( there have been many bad days)
I still get frightend at times as Im sure is natural when you go through something like this, and 4 weeks ago my beloved sister in law was diagnosed with secondarys in her lung, she had b/c 10 years ago, then returned 2 years ago in bones but dormant, and died 18 days ago It seems so unfair she was 62 and had everything to live for.
Im sorry to ramble on.
How old are your sons? I also have 3 sons and 1 Daughter (also 2 stepsons) so never a dull moment lol, the genetics are trying to find possible link to why it happened but I dont think we will ever know, Just unlucky and you are so right watching him go through everything broke my heart.
I wish you well anna, and thank you for your kind words
Love and Hugs
Irene x
Dear Sukes
Thank you also for your kind words, It means so much, especially as you have so much to deal with right now, how lovely 3 beautiful girls to keep you focused and determined to keep fighting this awful disease, I have 3 granddaughters (5, 18 months + 15 months) so I know how busy they must keep you, but you are young and when they are all grown up they will stand beside you as your best friends, and with huge respect for what you have achieved and for being so brave.
Take care and I hope to speak to you again
Love and Hugs
Irene x
Hi Irene,
My sons are 16, 15, and 11,so they are old enough to know the score and they watched there Nanna die of stomach cancer 18 months previous, and there adored grandad die of lung cancer just four weeks previous to my own diagnosis (IM 35), but we do laugh about my cancer, it helps you get through doesnt it? Tell your son i think men with bold heads are quite sexy actually!!!
Anna x
Hi Anna
Why Is It that some familys go through hell whilst others breeze through life without a care? You sound as though you have a great relationship with your boys, and If you can laugh about It then you are halfway there.
I hope you dont mind me asking but when were you diagnosed and have you started your treatment yet?
Nicky was never bothered about losing his hair, he was’nt to keen when he lost hes eyelashes and body hair but that was a small price to pay.
Take care Anna, your boys sound a credit to you.
Love and Hugs
Irene xx
I was diagnosed friday 13th july 2007, at the hospital where my father in law died, my whole family has joked about it all the way through, my husband was going to buy me an eternity ring on our wedding anniversary (25th July) and got out of it buy saying it was a bad investment as i might only get a few years to wear it!!! Honestly it made me laugh but thats the way we are, My oldest son often comments that his teenage dramas should be of upmost importance but my cancer has wrecked that for him (he doesnt mean it horribly) but the laughs and jokes are what keeps us going.
I have just finished chemo (hurray) and to put it very crudly losing all my hair has saved me a fortune in waxing and now im too scared to have it done again!!! Where abouts is your son in the conveyor belt of cancer treatment? and your telling me some families go through life with a breeze, ive just found out my youngest needs a hernia repair in his testicle and im worried sick,
Anna
Morning Anna,
I think you and your family are great, I shall keep my fingers crossed for you that all Is well.
We had a panic a few weeks ago as Nicky was unable to eat again without feeling sick and chronic heartburn so Dr referered back to hosp for more tests as thought It had returned, so had bronchoscupy? (excuse spelling lol) which was awful as had to have It with no knock out drops or pain relief, he burst all the blood vessels in his face etc but thank god (if there Is one) It turned out to be a Highatious hernia that was pushing through the stomach to chest wall ,so more medication, Just unlucky they say.
I hope your son Is doing ok? what a worry, do we ever stop? my sons girlfriends laugh as Im forever calling to see how they are doing. (But the boys love It) not that they are mummies boys, they are all grown men, but we have a great bond.
They make me laugh as they have great sense of humours.
Has your hair returned yet, nickys never returned as before, but as he says that isnt important.
Have a good day Anna
Love and Hugs
Irene
Dear Irene
I have just read your post and I want to say how sorry I am that your son and yourself have had to go through this. He has certainly been very brave and I hope he has a long and happy future ahead. We will all beat this if its the last thing we do.
Take care and lots of love
Claire x
Hi Claire
Thank You, I just want to say that although I had come across cancer on the odd occassion and thought how scary It must be, I like most people had no Idea about what Is involved and what you all go through, yet the ladies that we came across were fantastic so upbeat and positive and you are so right you can beat It
The ladies loved Nicky when he went for his treatment, no matter had sick he was he always told them how lovely they were looking and he always made them laugh and feel special, that Is the type of person that he Is.
I wish I had known about these sites sooner, it beats crying In your pillow (lol)
Take care claire.
Love and hugs Irene x
Ive told my boys that if they think im going to pop off before ive had the chance to be the mother in law from hell they have another think coming, i want to upstage the bride and everything get terribly drunk at there wedding receptions just generally be a pain in the back side.I think they like me talking like this!!! and i have asked for a refund for my chemo i ordered curly hair to grow back, but the cm i have got is straight and very grey!!! Anna
Hi Irene,
So sorry your having to go through this with Nicky,he is so young and i must say so brave because i’ve chatted a couple of time’s on this site with him and read his post’s,he come’s across strong & mature,he told me he might be on the show this year & i’ve told him i would love to meet him as i’m going & am so looking forward to it.
As for myself i wish i had a mother as caring as you,Nick is a lucky man to have a mum wanting to be there for him & support him through this,people say it’s a mother’s instinct but i think my mother went to the loo & lost her’s !!! (lol).But i have to go on and be strong for my 3yr old & yet i’m 50 & just hope i can live long enough to get her on the right track with love & advise.
Same as Nicky i’m on the tamoxifen for five yrs and i’ve only been on it since last August,anyway i don’t want to bore you with my story,i just want to praise you & Nicky & wish you both all the best,ask him to get in touch with me again as i would like to hear from him again,
take care,
Lance xx
Hi Irene,
i have just read your post and i am s srry to hea about your son. I too had BC, followed by WLE, chemo and rads and i do feel very lucky not to have lost boob. Your son sounds like a trooper and he has been through the mill at such a young age. I wish him all the best in his recovery and hope and pray that he can ‘move on’ from this and enjoy the rest of his life. My mum too had BC two years ago and then had to watch me go though the same thing… at the time I was and am strong going through the treatment beause there is an end. Bur after all treatment finished i have found now a challengeing time, in all aspects. Im sure you give him all the support you need and please let your son know that the aftermath of this is a tough time too and this is normal.
All the best N xxx
hello Irene
Like everyone else I wish you and Nicky well, he is far TOO young to have to put up with this but is moving on. But cancer is a careless thorn which doesn’t care where it strikes. I wonder how it is for my mother who has dealt with the triple whammy - my dad died of cancer a few years ago. Then my sister was diagnosed with invasive lobular cancer in 2006. Almost a year to the day of her diagnosis, I was diagnosed with the same cancer.
Like Nicky I had a mastectomy and axillary clearance - I’m half way through chemo, will be doing rads and tamoxifen or similar… but i am 49 and have 2 young grown up sons, so it’s different for me. I have also been fortunate in health terms. Nicky has lots of life to live and enjoy and I hope he does.
You have been there for him and that is invaluable.
Anna’s hair is lovely!!
take care
jennifer
HI Lance. Nadia. and Jennifer
Thank you so much for your kind words, yes it Is very hard when you see your child go through such a cruel and painfull time,and believe me If I could have changed things i would have.
Lance you have met Nicky and seen what a positive person he Is, I hope he gets that from me,(lol)
you say your mum Is not very supportive!!! maybe she Is having a hard time coming to terms with it, we all deal with things so differently, my children are my life, and I will do whatever I can to help anyone of them.
My sister in law (best friend) was diagonosed with secondery lung cancer on 23rd feb 08 and died suddenly 6th march, so am so aware of how precious life is and how scarey this disease is.
I hope that you are all doing ok, and want you all to know how much I respect you for your courage and determination and for always having time for others when you have so much going on.
I will tell Nicky to contact you lance and thank you again for your lovely comments.
love and hugs Irene
xxxx
Hi Irene,
so sorry about the loss of your sister in law, it must be hard coping with the loss of your best friend as well as everything else, its not nice seeing someone die of lung cancer believe me i know, hope you are ok
Anna
HI Anna
Yes It Is hard, I have to keep pinching myself as It all seems sureal, I had been staying with her for a couple of days and only left her wed night and she collapsed and died thursday morning, Just so pleased we had some special times together, will never stop missing her.
Hope your keeping well Anna
Love and hugs
Irene