Stalking? Advice please

Some years ago a female approached me wanting to be friends. She started asking my husband to go round to her house to do numerous DIY jobs. I should have put my foot down at the beginning before things got out of hand because soon I felt as though we didn’t have any life of our own. When I got cancer her demands continued unabated and this added to my stress. Finally I took the bull by the horns, reminded her that I was very ill and told her to stop asking my husband for help. She displayed no empathy and promptly de-friended me. It was actually a relief because it seemed that the problem had resolved itself. We kept to ourselves for the next eighteen months and apart from cancer life was calm and peaceful. Unfortunately this female has started ringing up and banging on my door and I fear that she is trying to resurrect the ‘friendship’ which is the last thing that I want. I ignored the ringing and knocking but I am starting to feel as though I am being stalked. What on earth do I say, without being rude, to make her understand that we just want to be left alone? 

I’m so sorry this woman is still causing you problems, FF.  In your situation I would contact the Police for advice on this harrassment, mainly so it is officially recorded.  Each force should have a team that specialises in harrassment and stalking crimes and they will be able to advise and support you, possibly by speaking to your neighbour and definitely by advising you on what to do and what not to do.  


This is a link to the West Midlands Police’s advice on harrassment/stalking and includes sources of online and telephone help at the bottom:  You may find your area’s force has their own advice if you search for it by name.


Unfortunately, most people who behave like this are mentally unwell and therefore difficult to reason and deal with.  Hopefully, the online harrassment support communities and this forum will be safe places for you to vent your frustration.  Keep posting.  Tat xx