Starting Chemo in February 2013: February Valentines

Public Archive
2001

Hi valentines
fec, FEC 3, day 11
feel ok just got bit of runny nose and yucky throat, going to park with daughter, granddaughters and dog today to get some much needed fresh air, and then we r Easter egg making and egg painting :slight_smile:
funki - hair clipping is the worst, but i agree probably even harder on oh.
kath - my nodes r affected but after cycle 1 of planned FEC-t, hotspot on my spine was confirmed as a bone met which is why they have changed plan and dropped the ‘t’ for me just now. My annoyance was because they didn’t tell me so now I am left to guess at reason until my next visit. BCN offered me an appointment next week but I said I would rather just wait til next planned one.
i have now told both district nurse and BCN not to call me on days 6-10 unless absolutely vital as emotionally I am not at my best those days and feel like a total woose for over reacting and crying at everything. First cycle it was the bone met (day 8), second cycle was hair loss (day 7), this time change to treatment (day 9)!

hope everyone manages to enjoy some or all of the Easter weekend and stays well xx

2002

Morning all my lovely Valentines

I hope we are all doing as well as can be expected today. Just think most of us are approaching/just over the half way mark, feels good to see light at the end of the tunnel doesn’t it? No matter how tough this journey has been so far, just think ‘this is saving my life’ and it will make it all worthwhile.

Jo I thought sure I would get emend after such a bad reaction to my first chemo, as surely it is cheaper to give me emend than to admit me, however it wasn’t mentioned they just offered me the syringe driver. To be fair the driver did work, while I had my head over the toilet there was no actual vomiting, so I’m definitely going to get it for each session now. I have to wonder whether it just isn’t available over here. Strange, but as long I get something that works, thats the main thing.

Funki I cried when I lost my hair (the only time I have cried throughout this whole journey) but my oh found it hard too and he has made a real effort to ensure that I know he still loves me regardless of what I look like. Its hard to believe that people who are going through this journey have oh who are having affairs etc. I read such a thread on here last night, very sad, it makes me realise how lucky we are to have such supportive partners.

Dyane
FEC 2/6 Day 17, Antrim Area Hospital

2003

Good to hear you’re climbing out of the tunnel Tup

Funki your husband sounds like a keeper :slight_smile: glad the head doesn’t look as bad as you’d imagined, I haved definitely found it easier since I’ve no longer had to worry about hair falling out, if it weren’t for the fact my son is so freaked out if I don’t have a hat it wouldn’t bother me anymore. Not sure i’ll be quite so comfortable with losing my eyebrows.

Jo x

2004

FEC 2 day 9

This is a catchup post from me. The sleep fairy went AWOL last night and although I spent a good hour chatting to you all and posting this, when I looked just now it wasn’t there - gremlins again!

Glad you’re back in the land of the living again Tup , no way are you a whimp, I’ve been just the same this round everyone understands this cr@p and we’re in it together.

Funki , so sorry your hair has gone. Once you get used to it there is a plus…it makes getting ready to go out much quicker! :wink:

Sorry this catchup goes on a bit but I’d written it so I’ll post it :-)…

In spite of waking up with a bruised feeling in my SNB arm yesterday, I felt so much better that I went to meet my friends on the narrow boat this afternoon. We had a lovely day and I even managed to get a bit of excercise walking odd stretches between locks and doing a bit of gate opening. I’m so unfit, my legs are aching now so heaven knows what pain I’ll be in tomorrow. Healthy eating next week following my 'eat anything ‘cos I feel so cr*p’ week last week.

So sorry you’ve both been postponed Alison and Caroline. Hope the SE free weekend turns out to be a bit of a consolation. Caroline, never apologise for ranting and moaning to us. We’re here to hold hands and take it in turns to be strong and to rant. People tell me I’m so brave and positive but I’m not, I have my wobbles, panics and fears. I’m just very lucky to have you lot to help me through it all. I honestly don’t think non BC people can ever truly empathise the way we can. ((((((( )))))))

Your poem made me smile Kath. Even when I’m grumpy, smelly and miserable my OH tells me he loves me. I’m very lucky to have him too (must remember to tell him that sometime!)

Chris, what a lovely day again. There’s a place like that in Leeds. Butterfly world I think. We used to go such a lot as children and teenagers and now my son goes with his girlfriend who’s studying at Leeds uni. They have meercats now too, such funny little things cant fail to bring a smile to my face.

As for dreams, I had one on Monday night that caused me physical injury. I’m not sure if I should share it with you in case someone decides to psychoanalyse me but…I was (in my dream) being annoyed by an unknown male waving an extremely large flaccid penis. Now, don’t get me wrong, there was nothing sexual about this, he was just being a nuisance. So I turned and flounced away from him. I don’t advise anyone to ‘flounce’ angrily while sleeping next to a large chest of draws. As I flounced I fell out of bed cracking my poor bald head on said chest of draws as I past. Understandably I woke suddenly with an egg on my head and an horrific headache but completely cocooned in the duvet. All my darling OH could say was ‘for goodness sake, what are you doing, bring the bed back’.

Make of that what you will but I blame the chemo! :wink:

So now…

Our snow is melting, the sun is shining and a new day has begun. Hope you all have a lovely SE free weekend.

Mandy xx

2005

Happy Easter Valentines.

The sun is shining here today and that nasty bitter wind has abated, at least for now. The sky is blue, the lambs are in the fields, the birds have found mates and are busy nest building. Life goes on.

I read that thread from the lady whose husband has been having an affair and felt so sad for her, and so glad I have a man that really cares and loves me. I realised just how much when he said he wished he could change places with me, and would do anything to be able to. He is a rock, and I would be in a real mess without him. I am so pleased most of your men are like mine, and Funki, when I read your post I actually cried.

Mandy , I cannot begin to psychoanalise your dream!!! Suffice it to say I am still laughing, but I do hope your “egg head” isn’t causing any problems!

I’ve been shopping today to get some of my medicines for side effects. I have such a long list I didn’t dare get them all at once or the assistant may have called the Drug Squad.

By the way, my chemo nurse told me to get zinc and copper tablets to help with the immune system.

Good luck to everyone this weekend, take care and hugs to you all, Linda. xxxxxxxx

2006

Good news about the support package for cancer survivors. Wonder how long it will take for the government to implement it. Thank God for Macmillans, and this site too of course.

2007

Fec 3 Day 4

Phew… thought I was having an ok day today… but god knows where the nausea has come from!!.. it needs to do one and quick!!..not slept even with zopiclone tablet last night… awake on the hour… but got my grandsons running around the house playing which is distracting me from the nausea…

Planning to cook Easter dinner Sunday for the family… recent hospital admissions when I plan somethng should warn me…lol

Have a good Easter weekend Valentines xxxx

2008

FEC2/6 day15
Good afternoon and Happy Easter all Valentines,
Just been out for a treat with grandaughter Annie,we went to the cinema and saw the film The Great And Powerful Oz in 3D,was very good,lots of pretty flowers in it and fanciful,scary creatures.I rarely go to the cinema and was astounded that it cost me £22.00 and that was with Annie saying she was only 12yrs old.We refrained from buying any food in there and went into Frankie and Bennys for a bite to eat,that was another £30.00,OMG how do parents afford to take the family out on a simple trip like that.I am so out of touch!!
Sandra I am surprised you are so nauseous,I thought that it could be fully controlled by meds nowadays.I only threw up last time as I put off taking tabs til too late. Hope it wears off for you xxxx<3
Kath I heard a snippet on radio,is it that the GP’s are going to monitor us every three months.?xx
Linds don’t worry too much about supplies,I not used any of my stash yet,fortunately only acid remedy.Lovely to see the lambs and the birds spring will come.Saw a Yellowhammer yesterday at tropical wings,sat on fence by the pet rabbits,so pretty in the sun. xxxx
Mandy wish I could have joined you by the water doing the locks,that would be a smashing day out for me.Your dream was so funny,what a horrible sight xxxxxLOL
I expect to lose the rest of my hair soon,the top is where most is missing,follicles feel a bit sore.having a job doing a combover now for when I am lounging around in my PJ’s.Still shedding daily but not clumps.So happy with my new hair,getting used to going out in it now.Friends have to check with me whether it is mine or new hair,which gives me confidence.
AMl46 Sorry to hear you are having a rough ride,hope they sort everything soon so you know the course you will be taking.BIG HUGS (((((()))))) xxxxxx<3
Love and lots of choccy to everyone Chris xxxxx<3

2009

just popped in from marchies
i read that there was an issue with the feeling that eyelids had dried onto eyeballs. i have this quite often (even before chemo) and was told it was an infection called blepheritis, which is treated with a few drops of baby shampoo (johnsons) in warm water and applied to the edges of top and bottom lids 2x a day with cotton buds.
Hope this helps xx
angela

2010

Afternoon dear Valentines – I’m with you Sandra, I’ve got a lovely leg of lamb in the fridge and I look at it and wonder if it is going to get cooked at all! I just can’t shake this nausea/indigestion – whatever it is – I’m never actually sick, but the discomfort is there all the time just lurking. I looked back through my diary and now realize that what I am experiencing this cycle is similar to the last two. I start off feeling alright and then from Day 6 on it builds and builds. I think it is so bad this time just because I am depressed. At least I feel a bit better thinking that what I am experiencing is probaby more of the same and not a case of cumulative effects of the chemo, which would mean it just continued to get worse and worse from now on.!
Dear Husband took me out for a drive this afternoon as it was a bit sunny here. I think that did me good, although when I got home I was completely exhausted even though I had just been sitting in the passenger seat like a lump.

I got a wonderful email today from a girl I worked with in the New York State Historical Architect’s office in the early 1970’s. I had completely lost touch with her decades ago, but a mutual friend remembered that she went through breast cancer and chemo five years ago, so put us in touch. It was facsinating how different her treatment seemed to be from anything any of us are experiencing. She had a first stage of chemo where she was given something pretty noxious every two weeks for three months (she didn’t seem to have any idea what any of the drugs she had were called – we are a much more well informed group) Then she had another two months of daily injections, followed by six weeks of daily radio. Sounds like a real marathon! Looking through the various drug protocols I couldn’t even figure out what she might have had!! She lives somewhere in Virginia, which can be very rural, so heaven knows how much travelling she had to do.

Well anyhow, I hope everyone keeps well over the weekend and has the best time possible!!!

With love, Louise

2011

Fec T
Fec 3, day 9

Don’t want to sound funny, but please stop telling me about steroids for Tax, I know all about them. Only gripe is that I haven’t been given any yet. Sorry for sounding grouchy, but I keep getting unexplained feelings of rage and I just want to have a rant only there’s nothing to rant about really.
AAAAAAAaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrgggghhhhhh!!

Chris, I don’t know the details of the package yet, it’s not due to be implemented for FIVE EFFING YEARS!!! What bloody good is that to us. I’ll be on hormone tablet for that long and will probably have popped me clogs with something else by then anyway.

Angela, my Sjogren’s gives me dry eyes. I don’t make tears, so get the same feeling of eyelids sticking to eyeball. I use Hypromellose preservative free, I get through about 30 capsules in a day.

Hope everyone is feeling better tomorrow and gets a good night’s sleep (some hope).

Feeling physically ok, but emotionally drained and p****d off with everything and everyone. Wrote two new poems yesterday. Here is one of them - it didn’t help my mood at all!!

Cancer

You found a lump
or had a call back,
from a mammogram
and things look black.

They took a biopsy,
said “it’s invasive”,
and “we found a node”
You just sat impassive.

When did it hit you,
that you had cancer?
Or is that a question
you just couldn’t answer?

When did the horror
of your situation
take on real meaning
realise the invasion?

When they said ‘chemo’
did you feel the fear?
Those poisons they use
seem so severe.

You want to be cured
so obey the rules
put yourself through it,
and face those ghouls.

Love Kath xxxx

2012

Chris and Louise… To be honest with you this is the first time that I have actullay felt really badly nauseaus… (sp?) the nurse rang me morning after my evening in hospital and told me that when she spoke to the oncologist about my palpitations it was down to the steroids and anti sickness given me at chemo session… so I dont know? Ive not felt this bad before … I cant even eat anything so have resorted to the Fortisip drinks given me which are vile!!!.. think I will stick to the kids banana milkshake instead :slight_smile:

Noticed …well trying to also ignore the pain in hand and arm… have been using hot water bottle on it each evening …dreading round 4 :frowning: but nurse told me to ask straight away for the heat pad

Lets hope whoever is cooking this Easter Sunday can get through it… else my hubby will end up finishing it off as he usually does :slight_smile: xx cos at the moment smells and sight of food is not good for me…lol x

2013

Nausea, vomiting and acid here too. Meds don’t seem to be working either. Does anyone have a feeling of mucus in their throat - I’m not sure if this is acid reflux too.

Feeling a bit low because Easter will be another ‘event’ when I’m feeling ill. Christmas: depressed because of diagnosis, Valentines Day: ill, Mother’s Day: ill and now Easter. Like a lot of you, I am so fed up with feeling like sh*t. (Apologies)

I will be due for my operation soon after and am hoping that it wont be on my daughter’s leavers’ day when they all dress up to be photographed for their prom and parties. Just wondering if anyone might know the time frame between the end of chemo and a bilateral mastectomy?

Diane xx

2014

Kath that poem is so true.
I am noticing so many are in the doldrums at the minute,I am sure it is all normal for the stages that we are at.I think we need a cyber punchbag in our group to vent our frustrations on.Hopefully in a couple of days the mood will lift.Hugs to all (((((((()))))))xxxx<3 Chris

2015

Penguin68 - I think you will find usually 4 weeks between chemo and Mx. I had last chemo 4th March and I am also going to have bi- lat MX. Surgeon wanted to operate about 7 April but has agreed to do it on 25th April as my daughter gets married on 20th. I have app next weds to discuss operation further as wanted recon immediately.

sandra 51 - think I used to talk to you on here when we were first diagnosed in December. I had first chemo 31 December and then didn’t see anymore of your posts . Hope you are ok x x

2016

Sorry Kath, I was only trying to help. I must have misread your post. Hope you have a better day tomorrow x x x

2017

Thanks for all your lovely kind comments about shaving my hair off. Jo, he is deffo a keeper :wink: he has been a total super star from the day I was diagnosed. Makes me realise even more how lucky I am after reading the thread about the poor woman who’s husband that had an affair and blamed her BC for his infidelity. I’d cut his b*lls off if he were mine. I’m too angry to even comment in the thread as I would upset her and she has enough on her plate but she answers her own question in her post when she says can I ever forgive him or trust him again? I just want to hug her :frowning:

2018

My turn to yell, but at my tablet, which has just eaten my post completely. It took me ages to write . I`ll try again

I’m sorry so many of you are really down today. Chris had the best idea with a cyber punch bag. I hope the sleep fairy visits and that tomorrow is a brighter day.

Diane - is the mucus in your throat catarrh?

Kath - your poem is very true

Nighty night and hugs xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

2019

So sorry for all those of you who are feeling rubbish. Gentle hugs to all.
Mandy xxx

2020

Hi all
sorry Alison about your delay hope it’s not for too long x
nice to hear tup & Louise a bit brighter
mandy, really laughed at your dream & falling out of bed so funny !!
funki you made me cry about shaving your head , very similar situation with me & oh x
Angie hope your ok
sorry so many are a bit low but rant away it’s what we are here for , support & knowledge we’ve all been there , I’m sure in the third week a drug is released making you forget the sheer torture of week 1 ( bit like when u have a baby & sort of forget how painful the last 30 hours were !!) I’m dreading the next lot but also up for it !!
Couldve slapped a friend who asked me why I never had a mx , was about to explain my reasons when she continued to say how I could’ve got fantastic new breasts for free !! I just muttered under my breath about its not quite like that but I was livid , I don’t know anyone choosing a mx as they want a boob job , I haven’t had a mx but still get annoyed at stupid comments like that as if a mx is easy !! Other than that I’m calm " ish" & loving week 3
take care everyone xx