Sorry, that was very long and rambling. Hope everyone is OK tomorrow. Will be holding virtual Hands.
XX
Morning vals
good luck to all of you having treatments today, may your se be non existant or little ones!
didnt get much sleep last night, despite sleeping tabs, so will try and catch up on a few zzzzzz’s today.
Off to book a train ticket over to mums for a break, on my own before I start rads, so can’t wait. Then Reiki, so a little rest there.
catch up later big hugs to you all karen xx
Hi Linda – I’m still here! Have final Chemo tomorrow!!! Whippee! Have my best friend and her husband here at the moment. Wonderful to see them (first time in five years), and she is doing the cooking – which is great. BUT – I’ve never, ever seen two people who spread out so much!!! The rather ample number of counters in the kitchen are now completely covered with parcels and boxes of food and every available surface in the sitting room has their computers (they brought three!), plugs, chargers etc. I have to fight to get to my desk at look at the thread. They leave Saturday morning (after we have a bit of an end of chemo celebration) and as much as I love her dearly, I am counting the minutes to having my space back. Dear Julian has taken them off for the day to see the Weald and Downland Open Air Museum – a historical arcitects wonderland – so at least I have some peace.
Must say, this is the very first Chemo session I have been looking forward to without trepidation – just enthusiasm to get it over. It will also be such a relief to have a good week to ten days, which I – strangely – seem to have at the beginning of each TAX cycle. After that I can look forward to two pretty unpleasant weeks, but that – thank goodness – should be the end of that! Except of course, the Oncologist did warn me not to expect to feel great on the 22nd day! Couldn’t get her to commit to how long exactly before things feel normal, but there was some muttering at “months”. Oh Gawd! Just hope they can find a vein for this last time. My “Chemo hand” is looking ghastly and I have a 4 inch bruise where they took blood on Tuesday. Oh well, this too will pass"!!!
Love to all XXXXXXXX Louise
Good luck today Mandy. You certainly packed a lot in yesterday and I hope you don’t suffer for it today. I have to say your posts have been much brighter since you changed to Tax, or that’s the way they come over. I must also admit I have never been in Ikea in my life! Our nearest is a long slog down the motorway so we have never bothered.
Wattie , a trip to your mum’s before Rads sounds heavenly.
Phew Louise , I’m glad to hear from you. I do remember now that your friends were staying over, but 3 computers??? Good luck tomorrow for the last one. All this will pass eventually.
As for sleeping arrangements, my husband took himself off to a spare bedroom immediately after my surgery to give me space, and is still there. This has left me with a wonderful king sized bed all to myself. It has been heavenly. All that space, NO SNORING, and freedom to toss and turn to my hearts content. I wonder if this is why I haven’t had any need for sleep fairies or naps during the day?
Hugs to everyone, Linda xx
Well I opened my diary this morning to write in an appointment, to be greeted with the fact that had everything gone to the original schedule I would have been having my last chemo today, when I had my first chemo I counted up the weeks and wrote them in my diary, really wish I hadn’t done that now, I knew it would be around this time, but it was a little depressing to see it in black and white knowing that I have at least one, probably 2 more to go. I’ve been for some retail therapy, got 2 new tops and a new pair of shoes to cheer myself up 
Hope everyone’s chemos that are happening today are going well, and those who had them in the past couple of days are having minimal side effects.
Mandy I’m very impressed if you managed to pop in to IKEA and only spent £15!! We don’t have an IKEA near us, which is probably a good thing, but when we have been the other half has learnt the hard way not to let me browse and just drags me to whatever we went for otherwise I find all sorts of things that I “need”…
You’re right I have been flushing my line myself, as my chemo nurses were very keen for me to do so (the other option is to go in to get it done, no district nurse option), it’s very straight forward to do, but after this episode I’m a bit nervous about doing it again as it scared me how quickly I went from feeling fine to awful when the line infection was flushed through, and if that had happened after flushing the line at home alone it would be terrifying, so I’ve said that at least the first time it’s done again I’m NOT doing it, we’ll see if I get brave enough again after that.
Hugs to all
Jo
x
Too right Jo. Time to be assertive. It’s your body and your health - it surely can’t be a long job for a chemo nurse to do.
FEC-T, cycle 5 (TAX 2), day 15
Yvonne : great that you can email your unit for advice. Don’t think they’re heard of email in these parts. Getting Through on the phone is – well – you can imagine! Well done for getting the senior nurse – hopefully it will be a lot easier next time. Lovely that you were able to meet up with Mandy too. No longer just virtual Valentines.
Well done on Tax 2 Tuppence , even though it was so painful. Just think, only one more to go and scream if you have to! I’m sure all our veins are looking forward to a rest.
And to Karen (W) for getting to the car park. How does it feel? Hope you also got some sleep. Funny how some of us are anaemic. Maybe it’s why some of us are so tired. I never get any feedback on my bloods – so I guess I’ll never know.
I’m sure the wine will have been fine Mandy. Just see it as boosting your red blood count! Hope all is going well today. Standedge Tunnel sounds fun (as long as you’re not expected to provide leg power). Wrap up warm though – it’s apparently quite cold in there.
Louise : great to hear from you again. Only been a couple of days, but I was beginning to wonder…. Last chemo today. Another Valentine approaching the car park. Yippee. Hope they found a good vein without pain and that you have no more bruising. Hope you enjoy your week as well. As for not feeling great on day 22… what a disappointment. I couldn’t believe it when I said to my brother something like “only one more to go, then I can throw the silly hats away”… How stupid is that? Counting the days until it’s all over, but it’s not. The scars of chemo take a while to heal. Yuk. I hope your friends have been spoiling you and not just covering up your work surfaces!
Linda : never been inside an Ikea? You don’t know what you’re missing! But your bank balance is probably all the better for it. It’s all the little things they cleverly tempt you with on the mile long walk to the check-outs! As I no longer have a car, this temptation has, thankfully, been removed…
Sorry you had the diary disappointment Jo. Your post read as if you’re not sure whether they’re giving you one or two more. Does it depend on results or was your dose reduced? Hope you find out soon. More uncertainty at this stage must be horrible.
Love to all, hope SEs are minimal and that the sleep fairies visit,
Gill
x
Gill, when my line infection showed itself last week I was half way through a chemo session, they had to abort the chemo infusion to deal with the infection, I won’t know till next week when I have a follow up appt what happens about the fact I only got half a dose.
X
Good luck tomorrow Louise,round 5 out of the way starting to get a headache,fridge is all stocked up so more than likely a weekend doing nothing, got terrible pains in my shoulders.Been for a carvery then called in OH local and had a POP could have murdered a few pints of bitter but hey ho it will still be waiting for me at the end of this journey.Bl**dy miserable here rain and hail ,hugs to all…Paula…x
Jo , I would be on my last chemo tomorrow too if I had managed to stay to schedule. I have chemo 5 instead and one left to do. Assuming that this one goes OK. If I have another infection then chemo 6 will be cancelled. So I may need to skip tomorrow. I have also been feeling like retail therapy a lot these last few days to cheer myself up. Glad you got to do some and hope you got some lovely things.
Mandy , wine is an antioxidant – which are good for you!!!
Paula ¸ I can’t stomach beer at the moment and am really looking forward to downing a lovely ale when this is all over. I will raise my glass to you!!!
Me and my husband spend some nights apart when we are both really tired. I get a super king size to myself, but still end up on my side (but I have lots of duvet there). We have spent most of this week apart as I have been sleeping terribly this week and keeping OH awake.
I had my radiotherapy timetable today. It’s the next step and thankfully my appointments are too late (all around 11 am) so it should be OK to get to Southampton there on time, but still leave me with some day left to do something with.
Hope you all have a good weekend – having chemo 5 tomorrow so will probably be absent for a few days.
Alison xxx
Good luck tomorrow Alison, and well done Paula for getting through your 5th.
Night night folks, sweet dreams. Linda xxx
Evening Vals,FEC5/6 D4
Another yucky day,but did drag myself out to shop in Pitsea and Basildon as it’s my son in laws birthday tomorrow and wanted to get his present.Feel pretty tired but could’t drop off on sofa this afternoon,did some washing but kept getting showers with hail,then sunshine,thank goodness for conservatory and airer.Hate this rotten taste on my tongue,eating everything in sight to take taste away.Think might be an explosion in bathroom in morning,been eating so much fruit etc to help sluggish bowel. 
Louise good luck for final chemo tomorrow,glad you had nice visit from friends,we have been to Weald and Downland Museum, lovely place.
Angie,so glad you are out of hospital.xx
Kath what a nightmare,your poor innards 
Glad you out now,hope you got treatment today.Loved the hair poem.xx
AML Lucky you final FEC in xxxHope surgery goes well for you in june. 
xx
Paula Hope No5 went well today xx
MMM
Theatre painting sounds such fun,tiring at moment for you though.Hope toenail grows back ok.Trip on boat in aug sounds fab.Lovely to know you visited Yvonne.xx
Alison,enjoy your friend visit tomorrow,Well done on your chemo poem.Hope bowels settle down after all this chemo nonsense,must be like IBS.xx
Dyane Hope PICC line in ok xxx
Jackie,Thank goodness was a cyst,what a relief,now you can go to Devon happy,enjoy XXX
Linda I want meat and potato pie now,Yum 
xx
Yvonne,horrible when veins are hard to find and sore,I sometimes get an older nurse and she is brilliant at finding veins you can’t see.
Poor you Tup,another one with vein trouble,and to wet yourself on top of everything else,never mind,practise for when you are an old lady I guess 
xx
Wattie Karen,Hoorah last one,enjoy visit to mum.I feel sorry for those of you with ongoing treatment like Herceptin,but must be done.xxx
Jo so disappointing to find you should have completed course by now,I made sure I didn’t do that as was aware of push backs.Never mind the day will come xxx
Thoughts and sleep fairies to everyone Much Love Chris xxxx<3
Morning all. TAX 2 day 3
Managed to sleep 7 hours with help of sleeping pill! Hopefully that will set me up for the day.
Chris you are amazing with all your personal messages! My brain is such mush that although I want to reply personally to everyone I have heaps of trouble finding the words I want. Guess that’s another bit of practice for when Im an old lady ! I’m turning into my mother day by day - although at present she is still babysitting great grand kids and helping out as volunteer in hospital shop - she is 83.
Before I forget - Alison your poem was great- more please!
Just got time to sit with OH while he has breakfast then settle myself on sofa for a while. ( word check changed sofa to sod - good job I checked through for myself)
Tup
Hello all,
TAX 2 done if not quite dusted. All went well and I’m hoping for a reasonably SE free Bank Holiday as we’re setting off for another camping weekend, in Pwhlhelli this time. We spent a lot of time there with friends when the boys were little. Now, all our babies are grown so the mums and dads are going back for a few days of reminiscence and R ‘n’ R. Hope we can get a yummy beach BBQ in before my yucky TAX taste hits!
Well done Tup and Pauline for getting round 5 out of the way. Hope it felt as good as it did for me to bock my last appointment as I left. I had a long session with my Onc, who was lovely to me and went over all my meds, giving me some new indigestion meds to combat the SE’s of the ibuprofen I have to take for the bone ach SE’s. My daily pill pot is now full to busting. I’ll be soooo glad to stop rattling as I walk :-).
I slept reasonably well last night apart from a few flushing sessions. I think keeping manically busy all day and evening evening helped. I took my YS out for lunch at the garden centre after chemo after which we did a bit of retail therapy. Next I got the camping stuff ready, cooked tea and cleaned the kitchen. We spent the evening painting on set, then my ES arrived home for the weekend so we had a good catch up. just before bed I put a casserole in for tonight. Fell into bed exhausted despite 4 steroids in the afternoon. I feel good today so fingers crossed!
Sorry for your delay Jo, it’s such a pain. Hope you get a plan soon. I’m paranoid about my line since my infection. It bleeds a bit sometimes and I’ll be mightily relieved to get through this cycle infection free so I can reach that car park.
I didn’t get away with just £15 in IKEA! I managed to spend another £10 on the ‘essential’ extras! 
It’s interesting that so many of us have had to part company with our OH during chemo. Mine feels really bad about getting grumpy when he gets disturbed but then feels guilty if he moves out. Life would be easier if he just accepted it as a short term solution. Hey ho, light quilt will mean I can be proactive and clear off when I need to.
Glad you’ve had a happy time with your friends Louise but I know what you mean about getting your space back. Enjoy it!
Wishing everyone a peaceful SE free weekend. Not sure if I’ll have www at sight so might be quiet for a few days.
Big hugs,
MMM xx
Hi all x day 10 tax 3
hope everyone are having a good day & good luck to everyone having chemo x. Mandy I laughed at the length of your post you could tell the steroids were working their magic
my SEs are wearing off thankfully, my mouth is almost back to normal , still got splits at the sides which open up every time I eat but tax mouth is almost a thing of the past !
im keeping an eye on things emotionally as I’m struggling to find my get up & go & enthusiasm but I think this is normal & I’m just rushing to feel normal again , its going to take months , every night for the last week I wake up in a panic thinking I’ve forgotten to take some medication , due to being half asleep & chemo brain it takes me ages to work out I don’t have any, but its starting to do my head in !!
Also Not helping is my Ex , if u can remember from previous posts he wants more access ( despite seeing her every week ) so I’ve had a week of meetings with my solicitor & now have to go to court on 11th June to fight to keep the arrangement as it is , 4.5 years we’ve been apart , its going to cost me a fortune & the stress is unreal but at least chemo is over so I’m a bit stronger & not worrying about " good weeks " so fingers crossed its resolved on the 11th !! Tosser
hope everyone enjoys the bank holiday although it doesn’t look like the sun is making an appearance !
big hugs
Karen x
Good luck today Alison,hope everyone elses SEs stay minimal,feel great at the moment but im just ready to take my meds and have my injection so time will tell,oh ikea i go in for certain things and always come out with pillows and tupperwear,!!Karen thank god my sons24 now so i havent up till now had much to do with his Dad Leon stopped seeing him when he was 10,but when his daughter was born he tried to give him another chance to no avail,he turned up at my old property a week late to leave Grandaughters birthday presents (me and my son have both changed propertys in the last 18 months) i asked my friend whos moved on the property if he ever turned up just to say id moved then end the convo and shut the door,but no shes told him im only round the corner and all about my illness,i was fuming with her and son found out and rang her,im so annoyed shes discussed my buisness with him,so also having a stressful time hes the kind to try and find where i live just to annoy me…oh im rambleing,hugs to all…xx Paula…x Linda thank god i read through March thread ive got Paracetamol ready for after my injection fingers crossed why i just didnt ask on here ill never know…xx
Sorry to hear your ex is screwing things up for you Karen. I really hope you can hold on tight to the fact you have just come through an amazing challenge of chemo and that you are stronger than you might have believed. Please try to place fears of what might happen re access in a place in your head where you don’t have to deal with it at the moment. Sending hugs and positive vibes.
Tup x
Hi All,
What’s happening with this crazy weather? We’ve just had hail the size of peas and now it’s clear blue skies, wish it would make it’s mind up
Karen and Paula - so sorry you’re having problems with your ex’s. You’ve got enough on your plates at the moment without the extra worry they’re causing. I’m sending you both a hug
Mandy - I found out my OH snored REALLY loudly on our wedding night and I don’t think we’ve had more than a couple of dozen full nights together in the same bed since. He didn’t like it at first but finally realized that a happy wife who had had a good night’s sleep was much better than the grumpy monster I become when sleep deprived. When we were on our honeymoon the people in the next room kept banging on the wall complaining about the noise and it wasn’t squeaking bed springs it was his snoring!
I had to phone the breast clinic this morning as I think I’ve got another seroma, I had one drained just a month ago, but the swelling has come back bigger than before and it’s really uncomfortable. I’m really impressed with the breast clinic at Salford Royal. There’s always a BCN available to talk to if you have any worries and they’ve got me an appointment in the clinic for next week.
X Yvonne
Afternoon Valentines – made it to the car park!!! Chemo 6 under the skin – so to speak!. Must say I didn’t exactly dance out of the Suite, as I’m just too tired. I was however very happy – just wish it meant no more trips to the hospital, instead of more, for the short term. At least it is one long, horrible part of this treatment over.
Love to all XXXXX Louise
chemo 6, FEC 5, Day 2, In the car park at last.
My blood test passed muster. It made my treatment a bit late, but I did have it. Just waiting for the SEs now, well actually I already have a bit of constipation so eating food to keep pooh loose and still using the hemorrhoid cream just in case.
I had two letters from the hospital today, one confirming my next appointment with my oncologist on July 26th (I will have started hormone treatment before then) and one from the Bone Densitometry Department for 3 tests.
a) Bone Densitometry lumbar spine
b) Bone mineral densitometry hip lt
c) DXA vertebral morphometry
basically, a bone density test as I will be at risk of Osteoporosis when on the tablets, but with RA, and my mum and gran both had Osteoporosis, I’m at risk anyway!! What fun!!!
Angie, very glad you are home at last.
Yvonne, I don’t mind a bit of competition, especially when they turn out as good as Alison’s poem. I think I should set you all a challenge and get you to write a poem each. I bet there would be some brilliant ones from you all 
.
Mandy, oh well, one less toenail to put varnish on 
.
Tup, how awful, but at least you know you only have one more left and your poor veins can recover. I have a big bruise on my hand as cannula for chemo was pretty close to where cannula for saline drip had been two days earlier.
Alison, I’m sad to hear you are still having problems with your naughty bowels, although I think naughty isn’t a strong enough word. I prefer softer poohs as I always manage to get a bit left behind in rectum which is easier to get rid of if its softer.
Wattie Karen, HOORAY!! another Valentine finished chemo.
Louise, I hope your final chemo went well and that your SEs aren’t as bad as usual, but sadly suspect they will be.
Paula, It won’t be long before you can go for a nice few glasses of whatever your favourite tipple is. You certainly deserve them.
Chris, hope you don’t have an explosion in your bathroom, it’s not nice I can assure you. Although I hope I can get to grips (horrid thought) with this constipation that seems determined to make up for the diarrhea !!
Karen, glad you are starting to come out of your bad days. But that ex of yours is a bloody nightmare. You don’t need things like court cases on top of everything else. Good luck and hope you are successful.
I’m working on another poem, I don’t know how long this one will take me as I’ve set myself a bit of a challenge but be assured, that when it’s finished it will appear on here.
Sending love, sleep fairies and good wishes to you all and apologise if I’ve left anyone off 
.
Kath xx