Starting Chemo in February 2013: February Valentines

Public Archive
3481

chemo 6, FEC 5, Day 12, and fed up of counting.

The news of my friend’s death was an awful shock, even though we were expecting it. Took a condolence card and some beautiful pink roses over to her house. Her OH was there and looked totally devastated as you would expect - she was his life and his rock .

I know you Vals on Tax are having nail trouble, but even though I had the one dose of that my nails have gone really weird. Very soft and I keep having to bite them off. When I try to use my fingers, like pushing pills out of a blister pack, it feels as though my nail might come off any minute. The surface looks peculiar too. White patches and stains all over what is left of them. I’ve started to have a jelly cube every day now .

I downloaded an exercise app on my iPod. It’s for the over 55s and is to build strength and balance. Nothing too energetic, but quit good as you can really feel your muscles being gently stretched. I do enjoy doing them - which is not like me at all. the only thing is, it’s American. The woman demonstrating the exercises is one of those artificial women with a fixed smile on her face, and at the end of every exercise she says “Good job” and calls her calves Caffs in the way some Americans do. Not our Louise though .

Jo, good luck for Thursday, see you in the car park.

Also good luck to Blue Rose

Well done to Elaine, and Dyane, hope your mouth is improving. It’s just like having a mouth full of barbed wire.

Chris, glad you enjoyed the visit to my garden, you’re welcome any time. Haven’t been out there today though so don’t know how my tits have been doing .

Paula, you appear to be doing things backwards. All bad in the early sessions, improving in the later ones. Let’s hope your last one is a good one.

Angie, I think we will all be breast panicky from now on.

Well done to Kim too, another new car park arrival .

Louise, I hope you continue to feel better.

Alison, I’m afraid my OH insulted you yesterday. He saw your photo and said you looked a bit like me!! And you are at least 20 years younger than I am, I must apologise for him immediately .

Today’s diary entry is’t very interesting:

"Walked to the Co-op and Post Office, I had to take my hat off as it was so warm. Bought some Roses to go with the condolence card for Gail’s family. Took it over, Leslie was home.

After dinner, I did 30 minutes of my strength and balance exercises with my new iPad app.

My prescription should have arrived today, it hasn’t yet."

What a sad life I lead .

Thinking of you all, especially those who have a way to go yet .

Love Kath xxx

3482

Kath, I am not at all insulted that I look like you - separated at birth!!!
Your life sounds as interesting as mine:
Took dog out for a walk, did some work (started a report), ate lunch, walked dog again, had bath, made tea. About to watch some telly. I did however, stop by at the bike shop to find out what sports hybrids they did and prices. I am getting excited about getting my new bike and can’t wait to be able to ride again.
A xx

3483

Sorry to hear about your friend Kath. It must be a very sad time and scary too. Somebody I knew died recently from a brain tumor, he was vey young and as well as being devastating, it makes our own diagnosis that much more real. Lots of emotions, sadness, anger and fear.
Xx

3484

What a sh*** night…severe nausea started at 5pm and hasnt left me yet… wouldnt mind cant even keep anti sickness tablet down…inbetween that and real bad tummy im so glad ive got a downstairs loo!!!..not a good time for SE to appear on my last chemo…grrrrrrrrrr

3485

Morning Valentines. TAX 3 day 5. I also had a dreadful night Sandra. I don’t suffer from nausea but I do get awful bone pains and what feel like internal explosions - jaw, lower back, legs, and my feet hurt! Pain killers (even the big daddy ones) don’t help much. I know it won’t last but it’s horrible while it does. Going to try to go back to sleep.
in other news, it is a lovely day again!
Hope SEs are bearable for you all today.
Angie xx

3486

Angie & Sandra, I hope you both start to feel better soon.

My ulcers are smaller now so I must be on the mend. They are still very painful, had me up from 6 with the pain, but as its day 14 I should start to see them go. I’m down getting bloods done tomorrow so am going to mention it then. I hope I never have to go through this again.

Hope everyone else is doing well.

Dyane
FEC 100 5/6, day 14, Antrim Area Hospital

3487

Hi Dyane
I was a February chemo girl too - only I did mine 2012 so am finished and back to normal and feeling great! I also had terrible mouth ulcers and yucky tongue. The hospital prescribed me Nystatin which I think you can only get on prescription but I also bought Daktarin gel which you can by over the counter. They both really helped so it might be worth asking your chemo people to give that to you. I really feel for you all as this is the worst time for SEs - hopefully you are not suffering too bad and can see the light at the end of the tunnel!
Take care.
Jan. x

3488

Angie & Sandra feeling for you both. Hope you can rest and relax today. My night was filled with vivid scary dreams. I woke up exhausted so am going to nap on and off today. My eyes are sooooo puffy! Yuk!
Thank you Jan for letting us know how well you’re doing a year on. Roll on for us all!
MMMx

3489

Afternoon Vals,
Kath so sorry to hear loss of neighbour,life can be wonderful and also very cruel.Her husband must be grateful that you are around.Spent yesterday in the greenhouse and garden,was watching the goldfinches on the feeder.I love it when we are in Canada and can watch the humming birds on the feeders and flowers,magical.
Angie and Sandra hope you feel better soon.xx
Mandy I wish I could take bad dreams away for you,poor thing.
Jan thanks for popping in,we want to be where you are xx
Dyane Hopefully mouth getting less sore now you found remedy.xx
Louise,shame you had to cancel show,but you have worked so hard all year despite feeling under par,I don’t know how you coped sometimes,well done xx
Alison,I look forward to getting on bike again,am toying with idea of new one,I like ladies bike with basket and mudguards.Not these mountain bikes that splat mud up your back.lol xx
Well I have a problem,tooth felt rough on corner yesterday,poked it with nail,side of tooth wobbled,back one.OMG was going to wait til weds when see onc but today side of tooth fell off aaargh!!! Phoned dentist,have to go this afternoon for him to have a look. Didn’t need this at this stage.Falling apart.
If I did a diary,today would put,went to Corringham,police helicopter up,side road cordoned off,ambulance and cops either end of road,about ten armed cops being briefed around cop car.!!!What is going on,it’s like you see on the tele. xx
Well see what dentist does,then must get up allotment and do bit more in greenhouse.xxxxHigs to all xxx<3 (())Chris

3490

Paula how could you forget mums birthday,thank goodness for your dad ooops!!
Diane nice to have your dad from Donegal,he is the same age as my dad,he will be 83 on the 11th.Had to go and get lots cards today,nephew,cousin,husband,dad,sister and fathers day.Phew.
Glad seroma drained successfuly,so glad I not had that.
Blue rose nice to hear from you,we are all nearing the end of this particular journey now,just the next part to get through,we are all doing different treatments,got to be better than chemo.
Linda sounds lovely where you are,will imagine myself having a cuppa with you xx
To all those not mentioned I am thinking of you all xxxLove Chris xxx<3

3491

Thank you kiwijan. I am definitely going to ask the Onc for something because I couldn’t bare that pain again. I am glad to say that this evening I managed my tea with little pain & am currently relaxing pain-free … at last, yea!! The first pain-free meal since Thursday.

Dyane

3492

Morning Girls

I hope everyone is doing as well as can be expected.
S** andra & Angie** I hope you are feeling better than yesterday.

My ulcers are still sore but more like normal one’s, so manageable. I’ve bloods today (day 15) so suspect I’ll be neutrophenic again (I have been every time) so will be prescribed ciprofloxacin which will clear then up good and proper. I don’t envy anyone who get these on a regular basis, it must be a nightmare.

BTW I am doing a whip-round to get the money together for next weeks car park lol

Dyane
FEC 100 5/6, day 15, Antrim Area Hospital

3493

Morning Valentines. TAX 3 day 6. Thank you for your best wishes. I slept better last night but I still have a lot of bone pain (mainly legs and ankles today) and these weird spasms going on over my body sporadically.
Dyane - I’m glad your ulcers are more bearable today (hooray for pain free eating!) and I hope you’re not neutropenic.
Chris - sorry about your tooth! I’m assuming chemo affects dental health. I had a check up before chemo but I can definitely see two small cavities in my incisors now. I only have two fillings in my entire mouth so it’s disappointing that I’ll need more. But hey ho.
Sandra - I hope your nausea has subsided.
Mandy - I had an awful vivid dream the other night. It was so bad I can’t bear to write it down!
Kath - I was so sorry to hear about your friend.
Have a reasonable day people.
Angie xx

3494

TAX 3day 15
Morning all. I’m hoping to be able to work for a few hours today but that will be it for this week. I managed to work yesterday but felt so exhausted at end of it I didn’t think I would manage to get home! So now Im wondering how long after final chemo next week will it take before energy level will be enough to work again. I know some people are able to work throughout the whole chemo thing - but for me it’s been one week out of three and then only barely managing. And it’s not as if I have any physically demanding activity - I sit with patients. (And ‘patience’ is what I have well and truly run out of regarding this #####BC)
I WANT TO BE BACK TO NORMAL nnnnoooowwww!!!
OK rant over. Wishing all Vals a SE free day as possible.
Tup x

3495

Hi Lovely Ladies,
I also popped into work yesterday for a few hours and felt wiped out by it. I had to take the pup for a walk afterwards and then cook tea (which was cold chicken so not much cooking really). I wanted to go to bed a 8!!! Managed to stay up till 9 - PARTY ON!!!
However, on my way home from work I went to a different bike shop, where I get a work place discount of 10% and decided on my new bike. I am going to buy it next month after my last treatment and hopefully (bum obliging) I will be able to get out on a few short rides. I did burst out laughing in the bike shop - basically I am short (5’3’’ - 159 cm) so getting the right height frame is difficult. Also, I have a bad back so need a short length of frame. The guys at the bike shop did a sterling job of finding a bike to suit me!!! It’s an extra small giant - and there’s where I burst out laughing!!! So I am not short - I am an extra small giant!!!
Hug to you all
Alison xxxx

3496

FEC-T, cycle 6 (TAX 3), day 7

Warning: self-pity and pathetic rant ahead!

Been off radar a bit over the last few days as the SEs of final (full dose) TAX have hit hard. Bone pain, fatigue, thrush, bunged up, nosebleeds, skin on hands almost non-existent, nails peeling off, cording getting worse etc. and everything tastes foul (including water). Have to force myself to eat and drink otherwise I’d succumb to dehydration. So thoroughly p*ssed off and feeling sorry for myself. To top it all, one of my darling (not) cats – acquired to help get me through treatment – has just managed to pick off one of the fledgling blue tits from my nesting box. I have been watching the parents for weeks now, doing a really good job, keeping the babies going etc…. then along comes a cat that’s too thick to use a catflap, but quick enough to grab the first one out of the nest. The parents are distraught, and I feel so bad about it.

Lots of you suffering as well over the last few days. Glad to hear of improvement (Dyane, Yvonne), sorry to hear of SEs not going away / coming back (Mandy, Sandra, Louise etc.). Apologies to those missed … unable to keep up with all posts from last days. Will try to do better in coming days.

Best news from BCN last week was that I shouldn’t expect “to feel fit” for 6-12 months following rads. What? So, all of you managing to work / keep families happy etc. whilst all this has been going on, you really deserve medals.

Take care all, may SEs be minimal and sleep fairies kind.

Gill
x

3497

I’m not having a very good day! I typed out a long post with lots of personal messgaes and the internet dropped off and I lost it all. We’re on mobile internet and the signal is pretty weak here on the marina. Appologies but I just can’t be botherered typing it all again and chemo brain has made me forget what I wanted to say anyway.

I went for bloods and to see onc this morning and guess what… neuts are way too low AGAIN so treatment is deferred for a week. That means only 1 out of 6 has gone ahead on schedule and that’s despite lowering the dose twice. I just hope the poison is having as much effect on the cancer cells as it’s having on me. I had to have another xray as they’re still concerned about me being breathless all the time and they’ve now decided I need my thyroid checking as I’m cold all the time too.
I had 2 bits of good news though. First they agreed to give me some happy pills (lorazipan) to help with anxiety while they try and get a canula in for next chemo. Lets hope the senior nurse I’ve been promised gets it in first time as normally its been anything between 3 and 5 attempts. Secondly, they told me rads can be done at Salford Royal instead of the Christe, which means we can move the boat closer and will only have 30 mins drive each way.
I’m now going to hang the washing out, stick on a DVD and eat a Magnum to try and raise my spirits. I’ve been so down lately and that’s not like me, honest. Maybe I should change myname from Chicita to Mrs Grumpy Guts
Best wishes to you all, including our own resident extra small giant!
X Yvonne

3498

Hello all,
Gill I too have been off the radar a bit, I’ve been reading and following everyone, but have been laying low at my mothers trying to get some R and R. I can totally sympathise with the Se you having as I’ve been the same,my mouth is just horrid, I’ve had ulcers that are starting to heal an I have been forcing myself to eat and drink and I need nutriants to recover. Wat is it with the nosebleeds, I think it’s the herceptin ru on that too? Nails are hanging in there all be it very sensitive. It’s the eyes that have really got me this time though, the tears and soreness, I look so terrible.
i feel however that all of us Vals are doing so well and with all the different stages of treatments happening, finishing or just starting it makes us even stronger to cope with things thrown at us which I am sure will help us to get over bloody 'blip’and enjoy the rest of our lives.
sorry not to reply to you all personally but I do send love and minimal se to you all and have been with you all virtually through difficulties, loss, joy, pain and tears . sending cyber hugs from France
karen

3499

Yvonne had to message you
as a nurse loreazepam is great, but you should never be attacked more than three times, if they can’t get it in then insist on someone else doing it . As an A and E nurse I was always called upon by different depts to get lines in as we had to get them in first go in life or death situations! Do you have an Emergency dept attached to clinic where you are getting chemo if so you could as for a senior nurse from there to do it! Good luck and you are allowed to be grumpy guts xxxa ps when they take your bloods for thyroid make sure they check your haemoglobin levels too, or have they? As you may be anaemic? X

3500

I know this isn’t cancer related, but thought it might strike a chord with most of you. Especially those still working through your treatment.

_ Drudgery _

_ Washing’s out, dinner’s on _
_ and the postman’s been and gone. _
_ Done the dusting - made the bed; _
_ then went shopping, fetched the bread. _
_ Next it’s gardening, what a chore; _
_ God my life is such a bore. _
_ I’ve been treated like a dog, _
_ worked and slaved - just one hard slog. _
_ Tonight I’ll sit and watch TV, _
_ a bag of crisps on either knee. _
_ It’s Eastenders after Corrie; _
_ don’t disturb me or you’ll be sorry! _
_ When I crawl upstairs to bed, _
_ worn out, kn*****ed, nearly dead; _
_ the thought of sleep makes my heart sing - _
_ I wonder what tomorrow will bring? _

Love Kath xxx