Me too Ninja. Just thought the wig thing was not for me and I couldn’t get on with the faffyness of scarves and stuff, Just a buff if I felt cold, although I think having the hair loss during summer helped that decision and also I didn’t have to go to a work place and I might have felt differently standing making a presentation or chairing a meeting if I had been bald, although I did rather take the attitude ‘this is me and get used to it’!! I popped into town a while ago and caught a glimpse of my hair while passing a shop window and I just had to laugh. It is so hilariously curly, but in a hoooge standy uppy way!! Those stroppy curls just WILL NOT fall over with gravity!!
Will try and send a new photo!
Anyway, How are you doing these days? All very well an onc saying that things look good, (which is absolutely fab), but do you feel good as well??
When I wake in the morning, my hair looks like I’m holding on to a Van de Graaf generator. The full 360 degrees!
Cue loads of water just to face the mirror.
I’m not too bad, as I told the Oncy, it’s all ups and downs but the ups get very gradually better. My rads area is still warm and red/brown, still radiating heat. So I guess that the rays are still working inside my body.
Been for a bike ride today; making the most of the weather before it changes.
Wandy, I know you said your hair is curly, but looking at your new photo, its not a patch on mine!!! Mine is like a little old ladies very tight home perm!!! Paricularly the bit on top/at the front. Its a real battle to try and blow dry it smooth. Actually impossible!! But when Ive finished it looks marginally more respectable!!
I wore my wig all the time last year, and couldn’t bear to look at my bald head. I only looked at it twice. Managed to avoid it by putting turbans/buffs on straight out of the shower, until I was ready to go out and then put the wig on with my back to the mirror, then turned round to faff with it. Ta da!!! I made the decision to stop wearing it on New Years Day, and I must admit its growing really well now even though Im still on Herceptin and Tamoxifen. Still taking some getting used to though. Not only the shortness and curlyness but the fact that ive left it grey. (I’d been tinting it for years and years). So the shock in the mirror is threefold!!! Hence Tom Jones/Don King!!! I must try and upload a new picture so you can all agree!!
I’m now back at work 3 full shifts a week. Did my first one yesterday. Came home shattered!!! As you said Bev, I too have done nothing but hold the couch down since last May, so no wonder im so tired!!! One of my patients was quizzing me and saying she’d not seen me before and was I new and had I been on holiday!!! (Some holiday!!). I managed to fob her off and told her I’d been on nights for 12 years and decided to come back onto days, and I only work 3 days blah blah blah. Then later on another patients husband said to the patient “Isn’t her hair lovely”. Meaning me!!! If only they knew!!! Have to say though, it gave me a massive confidence boost. I was so worried that the patients would work out that this is post chemo hair, but obviously Im fooling them all!!
Saw my counsellor on Tuesday and told her I don’t feel I need to see her again. I just feel now Im back at work and had my mammogram and entering my 2nd year that I want to move forward, and each time I saw her I felt I was dredging all my scary feelings back up, which Im trying to keep in a box with the lid firmly shut.
So Im flying solo now!!! And without a parachute too!! Eeek!!!
Wow, so much news to catch up on, and lovely to hear that we’re all getting on with our lives and moving on. Wandy,MC my hair defies gravity too, it is beyond description it is sooo curly and feels like rabbit fluff it’s so soft! Perhaps we should all have a blue rinse then we really could join the old ladies?
Good to hear how everyone’s getting on at work. MC I’m sure you will soon get used to it and feel less tired as time goes on. I have one more day of my first term back teaching full time. At times I thought i would never get here but i do feel much better and more energetic. Will be very glad to break up tomorrow though!
Lovely to hear from Beverlie.
Jane-I hope you have a lovely time in Northumberland-I love it up there too. We are going to the Lakes on Saturday, so i’m packing t shirts, fleeces and waterproofs to cover all weathers!
Co I love your ski story
Ninja-you have an amazing amount of hair-still deeply jealous.
Probably won’t be on here next week so Happy Easter everyone.
Lots of love
Rach x
Hi all,
thought i’d pop in and catch up. Mandy you’re not flying solo you still have us all but the parachute you can carry. Wandy your hair looks really thick my curls at the nape have been cut off but my hairdresser did an amazing job wish I could do my hair the same:(
After the lovely afternoon in the garden today, feeling sleepy. I have a new great nephew Lucas haven’t met him yet as my cough is still bothering me and we are awaiting my other niece to produce another babe in the next 2 weeks. Can’t wait for some cuddles.
I spent the morning putting gingham flowers on a plain voile for the side door window, took me an hour and half but it is unique. I should do more needlework cos I enjoy once I start but can’t get motivated enough to keep it going.
I must stop putting things off and start doing. Anyway hugs to all Chris x
I am going to say this very, very, quietly but the last two mornings I have got out of bed and my curls have looked like I styled them into that position. The good bed-head style may only last a week before regrowth changes everything again but I am enjoying this moment while I can. I am still envious of your hair, Ninja. Doesn’t matter what I try I have not been able to get it straighten and yours always looks so nice.
The good news is that my grandson was born early this morning. My daughter should be discharged around lunchtime and I will get a proper look at him on Skype. I am going to stay with them in a couple of weeks time after my son-in-law has gone back to work.
Mandy, like Chris says you will always have us as your safety net/parachute. Hopefully you will never have to put us to the test. As you say, you are putting last year behind you now.
I hope everyone going on holiday this week has a great time.
people keep telling me how lovely my hair is! It is, as they say, growing on me! Mostly all I have to do in the mornings is put a bit of water through it and run my fingers through (with a bit of serum) and it’s ready to go, so I can’t complain.
One of the threads last week had links to survival stat calculators - ever wish you’d not done something? They’re not BAD bad, but they’re not as good as I naively hoped… Can’t “un-know” something though can you, and I was happier not knowing… mmmm… Ah well, more rubbish to process - we’ve done lots of that!
Jane, I agree you cannot ‘unknow’ something. But the survival stats are usually based on data that is a couple of years old and you do not have the chance to factor in every aspect of you tumour’s pathology.
My survival stats are around 80% but I cannot factor in the fact that I am only very weakly ER+, nor can I factor in the possibility that because of the position of the tumour and inconclusive sentinal node tracing there may be cancerous lymph nodes still in my chest. Wish I didn’t know that but being me I had to ask the question.
As someone once said lies, damn lies and statistics. I always focus on the proprtion of people who are still disease free after 10 years, not on the proportion who have had a recurrence.
1st April, this year is starting to race through! Hope everyone is in good form. Was thinking about some of the girls who don’t post any more…Wonder where Angielav, Pole Princess, Smiles and many others are? Hope they are all well and getting on with life. We got one back into the fold, (MangoChutney/Mandy!!)I guess the others are not as addicted to this forum as I am!?
Jane, your hair does look good, it is a case of getting used to the new you isn’t it??
And re the survival stats calculators…I guess they are useful to a degree, especially when the pros are deciding on treatments and of course its quite morbidly fascinating to consider the timescale of your own mortality, but I guess you have to put everything in perspective…One could be run over by a bus tomorrow, (or in my case in rural France, a tractor!!), so i very much believe in living in the NOW. I think that may be some lesson I have learned from this experience that to project too much into the future or to regret the past are not very useful ways to use emotion. Live in the ‘NOW’ and be grateful for everything we have NOW. Its rather liberating!!
Wandy - I’m one of the early posters (not many posts, though) but I am still here and keeping up with you all. Wow! Isn’t everyone doing well?!
I now have curly-ish hair (never been curly in my life before), but it only seems to be on top and on the back and right side - the left side is dead straight so I look rather weird! And much greyer than before Chemo. The texture is funny, too - a bit like it has been singed. I have had one cut so far, which (temporarily) got rid of the “nutty professor” look, but as its growing that look is returning. I’ll just have to keep it really short.
Ninja - admiring your hair. Cherryorchard - have a wonderful time with your new grandson. Sorry - I’ve lost track of everyone else, but I wish you all well.
I had my first anniversary mammo on my remaining (right) breast a few weeks ago, and at the surgeon’s appointment/checkup was told everything was ok. It was much more of a relief than I had been expecting - I hadn’t realised just how nervous I really was. She did book me in for an ultrasound for possible lymphodaema under my left arm, but that turned out to be just plain old fat! It was a relief in one way because I do NOT want Lymphodaema, but a bit of a shock in another way as I hadn’t realised I had put on quite so much weight. Personally I’m blaming the Anastrozole, but I know that can’t be the entire reason - sadly!
I have not checked any statistics - that is not something I would want to know.
I have a holiday booked for a week in August in Rye, Sussex, which I am greatly looking forward to.
Best wishes and happy hols and hair to everyone.
Barton (Fran)
Lovely to hear from you again!!!Glad to hear your news and that you are doing well. It seems that we have all been holding our breath before the 1st annual mammo after surgery and treatment. So glad yours has gone well. Mine has been delayed till end of May so am putting the anxiety away in a box until then!!
Hope you have a lovely time on your hols in august and do stay in touch!
Its funny isn’t it how a few of us have gravitated back here as the first anniversary loomed?! I know thats what drew me back. The whole of last year I was just trying to focus on “getting on with it” and had browsed through some of the threads on here and frightened myself to death so I stopped coming on and looking.
But now, 13 months on from diagnosis, I feel I can raise my head above the parapets and curiosity has got the better of me!!!
Its great being in touch with you all, and part of me wishes I’d been in touch with you all the way through, but I know I was in a very bad place emotionally last year and couldn’t have coped with anyone telling me anything scary, so it was easier to avoid this entire website.
The only time I ventured on here was to raise questions about side effects I personally was experiencing post chemo.
But look at me now!!! Completely addicted!!! Loving having you all as part of my “new life”! Feels like we’re all in it together now!! And long may it last.
Thanks for the congrats following the arrival of my grandson. Can’t wait to spoil him!
Great to hear from you Fran and find out what you have been up to. Please don’t be a stranger, you are always welcome.
I am reading about everyone’s holiday plans here but have have not made any plans myself. Still sorting out my mother down in Spain, so if I am spending anytime out side the UK this year it will be at her place but it won’t be a holiday. My sister has been dragging her heels over finding an elder placement for my mother and is not responding to my emails,now. I have tried asking my other sister who has not spoken to our mother in over 20 years and she is thinking about it. My mother is getting confused, too. I am hoping it is her medication but I have noticed a deterioration over the last year. AHHHH!! (cry of frustration!)
Really hear the note of frustration and angst in your post. Really understand the whole ‘elder’ thing. It is really hard isn’t it? As you said the other day we seem to be the generation stuck in the middle, dealing with elderly relatives and grown up kids who still need us!!
Very difficult too with siblings who aren’t stepping up to the mark either. I would suggest you getting down to Spain and seeing how your Mum is for yourself, but very often these things are easier said than done and it all costs doesn’t it and you’ve got a new grandson to see first…aaaagh!!!
I had all this a couple of years ago, my MIL who is now 91 and defying medics who have written her off every year for the last 15!!!..had finally to be moved into residential care. My OH is an only one so it was down to us to sort out…Then my mum became very poorly and frail and we decided to move her in with us, I have just one sister, but she is an international business tycoon, with 6 kids, flying between here there and everywhere to touch base with her own family, so once again it was down to us…
I have no magic advice, but I am with you in spirit!
Thanks Ninja for the news on Angielav, glad to know she is ok. Good for you to have a break away too.
Hi all,
I’ve had a lovely day today in London.Took my daughter and grandson to the Natural History Museum to see the dinasours,had a really interesting time. James is only 6 and such an inquisitive youngster. He liked the bones but had to be reassured on the working model.It was packed inside won’t go again in half term but we saw what we wanted to. We need to do it again to see the rest. Then a trip to Hamleys which cost me but these days are few and far between.
I still have days when I get tired for no apparent reason but on the whole feel well. Have managed to finish spring cleaning the bedrooms and the bathroom and toilets didn’t realise that I was such a dirty girl until I’d started. Who caused the yuk that’s what I want to know. :)It wasn’t me!!
Cherry feel for you, I had my dad for 8yrs after mum passed only the last 18months in a nursing home but its not just time and usually money it is also an emotional cost.
Life was hard work then, now I only have the children and grandkids. If I can help them I will.
Love to all Chris x
Well we are a quiet bunch these days. Hopefully it means you are all out having a good start to the Bank Holiday Easter celebrations!
Going to have a quiet one here, OH got to be away and leaving on Easter Sunday, so me and Mum will just eat chocolate and watch tv and if it is nice go for a walk or two!
What are you all up to? Or maybe you are away already doing it??!
Hi Wandy.
No, I’m not going away over Easter. I’m doing something much better…working!!! Seriously, after getting through the last year, putting my uniform on and going to work 3 days a week is such a fabulous feeling! Beats Easter Eggs any day!!! (Well, maybe not!!).
I’m in on Good Friday morning, but only til 12.30 cos having my 14th Herceptin at 1.00pm. I have it at home which is really great. The hospital treating me (where I work!) has a contract with a company called Health Care at Home. Its so much better having it at home. More relaxed, more private and more convenient. And I have the same nurse each time, and she’s lovely too!!
I’m also working Easter Sunday 1-9, but I’m off Saturday and Easter Monday, so Ive got the best of both worlds!
Must admit though, when Ive worked a late shift, 1-9, I feel absolutely shattered by 7.00pm. More tired than I do getting up for an early at 6.00am and working 7.30-3.30pm. Not sure why that is, because I make sure I have a lie in on the morning before my late.
I’m sure its all to do with getting used to it and building myself up again. Before BC, I used to do 3 12 hour night shifts every week, and go spinning at the gym 2-3 times a week!!! Just the thought of either of those things turns my stomach now!!!
