Cherry I agree about the ads … I know they are raising the profile etc etc but they just remind me and I find it really difficult if they come on when others are with me … like I feel an overwhelming sympathy from them … and I can’t bear it !
Angielav and Cherryorchard-I agree-especially when the girls are here.
Tax truck has run me over this morning-I am guzzling pain relief in an attempt to feel human. Hope everyone’s doing okay
Love Rachel x
Hoping I wouldn’t see any cloud today but no luck, so Wandy if you are on your way to the UK drag some of that French sunshine back with you.
Rach, sorry that the tax truck has got you today. Hope the painkillers have kicked in and you are feeling a bit better. Did you have a good evening with your M&S goodies?
I hope everyone else is enjoying their weekend. I am going to veg in my pj’s today. Not self indulgent but self preservation.
Well almost a month since I finished chemo and I do feel human. Still got heartburn and thrush. No sign of any hair. Veins still sore, BUT I have a wee bit more energy and I CAN TASTE!!!
GIJane, It is nice to see light at the end of the tunnel. I should be where you are around beginning of Oct.
Me too … and I can’t wait to feel human again x
Jane-glad things are getting better
I can’t wait to feel human either x
Hi all
Can I ask a few questions re Tax?? I’m out of the horrendous week of pain and bed rIdden rubbish- but I still feel really pants. No energy still joint pain and gross mouth and god I’m bloated and look crap!?
I found with FEC that I has week of rubbish ( which by comparison to Tax is nothing as I could get up daily) and then fog would lift and I wud feel fairly normal for two weeks til next one.
With Tax should I expect that I wil feel sub normal and grotty in-between the week of awfulness???
Soz to sound so negative but if so then I will need to arrange more help with baba as afterFEC I was fine on my own but at mo I’m still shattered just carrying him around house and he sleeps less now so day is quite long as he us up from 6am-7pm and often hubby is at work all this time.
Thanks xxxx
Last poison tomorrow, hope my 3rd Tax is kind to me! I feel like i should be over the moon and shouting “IT’S MY LAST CHEMO”!! from the roof tops. Instead i feel really emotional, and can’t bear the thought of going through this last treatment, wearing the cold cap, getting SE’s, tiredness, more weight gain. Think i will no doubt cry tomorrow at the slightest thing.
Hubby has been brilliant, we just had a lovely night at the Hilton in Canary Wharf, lovely chinese and wine! I cried at one point about being fat, (Bloody wine making me me cry) We had so much wine we both passed out once we got to the room, so romantic! I woke up at 4am and the telly was still on hubby was snoring. We both laughed in the morning and said the double G&T at the end of the night finished us off. But great to get away even if only one night.
PP - with Tax 1 i felt fine and then wham tax truck knocked me over, very tired, still tired 2nd week and taste in my mouth was disgusting. Tax 2 i ached more but bad taste not so bad, but energy came back quicker about 7/8 days, did have bad heartburn though. Let you know how tax 3 goes this week. I have also go a black toe nail, which has burst and leaking goo now. Think the nail may come off, hoping it will hang in there as i have wedding in 2 weeks. I am so bloated looks like i am pregnant and no clothes look good on me because my belly sticks out. I have been told by health shop to try Dandilion supplements for water retention. Have to check with Onc to see if ok to take, will let you know.
Rachel , Glad your daughter is able to discuss your op and her concerns, at least she is sharing her feelings. Hope you enjoyed the goodies from M& S.
Gi Jane, i am so looking forward to seeing the light at the end of the tunnel!! so close yet still this last hurdle to go. Glad you are starting to get taste back, hopefully your hair will start to sprout soon too.
It seems a few of us are getting more anxious towards the end, but sharing our feelings, makes me feel i am normal and its ok. Feeling slightly better already but don’t think i will be able to control emotions tomorrow. Off to bed now try to sleep.
Hugs to you all
Tricia
PP,
It sounds like you are having a rough time. ((PP)). I think you need to give yourself a break. You have been through an awful lot and you are dealing with a young baby, too, which is tiring even in normal circumstances. If you need more help you must ask for it and not try and cope on your own if you do not feel up to it.
I can’t comment on whether Tax is easier than FEC, because I am on 6 FEC, but I do know that I have taken longer to recover after each treatment and each time the SEs have been worse. I think the whole SEs from chemo are cumulative. The first ones are easier than the last few when our bodies have already had weeks of treatment with barely a chance to recover in between poisonings. That’s just my theory anyway.
Trish, your night at Canary Wharf made me chuckle. Chinese, wine, G&T, waking up with telly still on… not romantic but it sounds like just what you needed.
Good luck with your last tax today.
Hi all
Trish-good luck! Hope it goes ok today and will be thinking of you.
PP-sending you hugs((())) Tax 2 nowhere near as bad for me but the tiredness was worse and I never had any energy.
I feel pretty rotten tbh after last TAX-ache from head to foot and my throat is on fire. My nails have gone a yucky brown colour and I think they may fall off soon. BUT just to make things interesting my dad has had a fall and has broken his hip. He is having an operation this morning, which worries me as he has a lot of heart problems and is diabetic, also has dialysis for his kidneys. My lovely Mum is here with me and can’t drive, and I don’t think I can drive to take her to see him-going to have to though I think. I really hope he is okay and makes it through-not being dramatic but he’s very frail even though he’s only 67.
Lots of love to all of you-we all need it at the moment, and hopefully before too long all this **** will be a distant memory.
Love Rachel x
Oh dear, my poor adopted may flowers! It really sounds like so many of you are going through hell, and not just from the treatment.
Rachel, everything is crossed for your dad, this is the last thing you need to be dealing with, but life doesn’t just stop throwing crap at us just because we have cancer, all the other crap keeps on coming.
PP, try to make arrangements for as much help as you can with your little one.
Hugs to everyone else, assorted sizes available.
It DOES get better, you WILL come out the other end of this horrible treatment, and life WILL carry on. It might not feel like it right now, being so close to the end, but it does happen, the hair does grow back, the exhaustion does gradually lessen. Here’s the time for the “you’re so strong!” comments.
Love to all
CM
x
Rach,
Your poor Dad! On top of everything else you do not need this worry. I hope his surgery is a success but I understand your concerns with all his other underlying medical issues. Hip surgery is a big deal for anyone let alone someone with diabetes and heart isssues. I had my hip replaced about 3 yrs ago (osteoarthritis - long story)and I would just say that you really need to emphasis to him the importance of doing everything the physios tell him, especially doing his exercises without fail. Not just for mobility but also the whole issue of DVT which is a risk after hip and knee surgery. Fingers crossed for a happy outcome.
CM, Thanks for dropping by and reminding us that there is a world beyond chemo. At the moment I am guilty of wishing my life away until I cross the chemo finishing line. 2 wks tomorrow will be my last one and I am giving myself 3 wks after that (when I have rads planning)as the date when I take the chequered flag!
Hi Buddies,
dropped off for a few days couldn’t be positive so took cover.
Rachel so sorry about your dad…hope all goes well. I know family things are yet more pressure and we have to cope.
CM thanks for the strong comment trying to be in that place now.
I have visitors now will get back on later Chris
Oh Rache so sorry to hear about your dad … your poor mum and you dealing with all this … everything seems to come at once doesnt it. My brother, who is downs syndrome, has just had a cornea transplant … which has had complications and he’s had to have another op, my mum is trying to handle all that and me … and now her sister has gone into hospital and had her gall bladder removed … it never rains…
Hope all is well … here’s a big hug for you and your mum xxxx
Thank you all so much for your support, it means the world. Angielav I think you need a hug too((())) Dad can’t have op yet cos they have to do assessments to see whether he’s fit enough, but he’s safe and being looked after and I will go and see him when I ever start to feel better. TAX 3 is the hardest-I am in agony despite painkillers-only thing that keeps me going is that it’s the last one.
I really hope we can all meet one day-you have all become real friends to me and yet we’ve never met. Lots of positive vibes and hugs to you all-you are all fab
Love Rachel x
Dear all
Thinking especially of those who are currently having all these extra things chucked at them - Rachel and Angielav I hope everything is going ok with those in your family who need ops and that you start to feel a bit better yourselves too. PP - can only agree with what others have said, it must be so hard to cope with all this as well as a baby (my daughter’s little girl is the same age so has brought back to me how exhausting they can be!). Hope you are getting help and know how fantastically you are coping. Hugs to everyone else especially those feeling grotty this week.
May be a bit late to ask for, but I had different indigestion med last cycle - Lansoprazole 30mg - which I take for 21 days and really reduced the heartburn, etc.
Was feeling v anxious this morning before blood tests and onc appt today, but she was so positive OH and I both came out really cheerful - talked about rads, going back to work in phased way, and really encouraging about having a few days away before rads start. Best part was as we were leaving she said ‘I forgot the most important bit’. Me - immediately thinks something unpleasant coming. She - ‘Make sure you get your PICC line out before you go on hols - don’t want it spoiling your image if you’re swanning round Paris!’
So it felt like a glimpse of life after treatment, as CM put it so well. Hope everyone gets to feel a bit of that soon. Jude xxx
Rache … I hope we can meet when this is all over too … no doubt with a glass or two to celebrate … but two glasses of anything at the moment, and I’d be under the table!! x
Thanks to all for ur support!!! Hugs to Rachel and angilav well and all really!!! I agree that u all seem like old buddies which has been fab to get thru this. Has a bit of a breakdown again this morning do fab hubby stayed home to help and then my lovely cousin gave me a hypno session which was great. I agree it’s hard to " see" forward to the end- it’s a bit like when u first had Jude I couldn’t imagine doing anything normal again but u have so I guess it’s the same here but it is hard!
The bloating on tax is horrid! I was doing so well after FEC and starting to feel good and now I’m so lumpy!!! Also my lashes are sparse and so can’t ever seem to make up face or feel nice before I always had lovely made up eyes and this made me feel good. I have become a tracksuit girl which in itself is depressing!!!
On a good note we r officially micing on Sunday to new house and have had loads of help!! Exciting stuff and we have big new bed and sofa coming toooooooo!!!
Hugs and ah what the hell, kisses to all!!! X
That wud be moving not micing!!!