I’ve been feeling okay too, did some wedding planning this weekend which was fab, also managed to go to work 4 days last week and am here again today - it’s nice to do something a bit normal! I also wore my wig to work, was a big step but everyone was very complimentary
Laura - In case I’m not on here again before Weds - Good Luck and HUGE congratulations for reaching your final chemo xxx (Mine is on Friday!)
Claire - Have you got one of those gel filled face masks you keep in the fridge? I have two in there because as soon as one gets too warm I can take the other one out of the fridge and put the warm one back in and keep circulating them. They’ve really helped with my migraines.
I wonder how long we all have to stick to the “chemo rules” for after we’ve finished chemo - I think re food etc I’m gonna give it 4 weeks just to be safe.
A little thought just crossed my mind - Even though my last chemo is on Friday and then I move to surgery and radiotherapy, I’m going to keep coming on the Chemo Julyers page. I think there will probably be a “starting radiotherapy in XXX” thread but I’m going to come on here and post as we’ve all shared so much already I think it will be good to take the next steps of our journey together. xxxx
Hi girls,
I finally left the hospital on mon evening I was begging them to let me go as soon they got my blood results and I was told that it had gone back to normal I practically leaped out the hospital window!!! I have my next docetaxel on Friday so I’m hoping it won’t effect me like the last one, I think the majority of us suffered with the neutropenia after the first dose of T but after your second dose you have all managed to stay away from hospital haven’t you. My eyebrows are thinning out a lot anwith don’t bother with mascara at the moment cosI when I remove it the eyelashes come off as well!! I found its getting harder and harder as time goes on mentally, I just feel like it never ends and I can’t plan ahead as soon as I’ve had chemo I just counting down the days till the next one and not really doing much In between. I’ve found benefit cosmetics have a good eyebrow kit although I did get the wrong colour.
Jelly I will be having rads after th chemo too so will def be wanting to compare notes re side effects.
Xxxxxx
Hey guys, just got the okay blood results wise so I’m good to go tomorrow, final one!!! Can’t believe it, it’s all gone by so fast, i had the first on 4 of July and here I am. Hoping all the painkillers work and I can manage the wedding this Saturday good luck for fri jellytot if i dont get back on after chemo. I’ve managed to avoid hospital in between wise so far so fingers crossed I mange it for this one too hope everyone is keeping well, lots of love xxx ps I’d love it if we could all keep in touch during the next stages, I’m to have surgery first then rads, apparently 5 weeks of rads starting in January so will be done by February.
thats tough everythingisrosie, I hope you’re feeling better now. Fingers crossed you stay well.
and I asked regarding the chemo rules, apparently stick to them for the next 3 weeks, I see the consultant 1 last time in 3 weeks times and discuss the MRI I’m having soon.
Hi everyone hope you’re all doing ok. I’ve been on a real downer the last few days and this whole situation is starting to get to me mentally now which is worse than the physical affects sometimes. I’ve made a conscious effort to go for a walk the last 2 days to make sure i get some fresh air and a little exercise to blow away the cobwebs. I’m going to pop into my work tomorrow as i hope seeing some friendly faces will lift my spirits a bit more. Most of the Tax effects have worn off now but i do find that as soon as one goes another comes. Last week i had the bone ache and nausea, then came the loss of tastebuds and now thats lifting i can feel a mouth ulcer coming! My last Tax is due on 30th Oct and i am counting the days including that 3 week cycle untill i’m done. I heard that my PICC line should be taken out about 10 days after my last dose so thats another thing to look forward to.
Laura good luck with your final Tax tomorrow. Rosie i’m pleased to hear your out of hospital now, let’s hope you dont need to go back in again after your next dose. Jelly i’ll be joining you on the Rads thread as we are following the same appetrn of surgery then rads. Claire making christmas cards is a great pastime that i’ve enjoyed doing with my son in the past. I might start it up again as the weather gets worse and i’m not able to go out for a walk as much.
Sian x
I’m home and I survived! So happy it’s over, cried a wee bit leaving the ward actually but it was more because all the nurses were outstandingly lovely and gave me hugs good bye. They couldn’t find a vein at first and then one failed in my wrist so ended up getting it in my index finger which wasn’t very nice! Now away to lie down and hopefully conserve my energy for the wedding sat
Laura, congratulations lady!! Hope the SEs stay away xxx
Sian - hope you’re feeling happier & the ulcer stayed away
Everyone else - lots of hugs
Had my onc appt today & they couldn’t actually find my lump (before i could find it no probs, was kind of like a conker) as it’s shrunk so much they said my surgery will be around 4 weeks after last chemo but I’d get a letter about ultrasounds etc in the next week or so to determine exact dates & treatment plan.
Hey thats fantastic news Jelly i’m really pleased for you. Chemo has done what its meant to for you and me so it seems so its worth all the bad days i guess. I’ve had my scan appointments come through over the last few days. I’ll be at the hospital at the end of the month for 3 days running for blood test, appointment with onc and ultrasound, my last chemo then CT scan. I’m keen to get an op date now just so i can make sure i dont have to miss my work do. We’re going to a local Holiday Inn which has a lovely restaurant and tribute acts. We went there last year and saw a Kylie tribute but this year its Take That and i am a massive TT fan so could not be happier. It will be the icing on the cake to my crap week if i cant go because of my surgery clashing with it. I went to work today to hand in my latest sick note and within minutes was in tears telling them how fed i am and that i want my life back. My work mates were amazing and said all the right things and that they cant believe i’ve been so strong for this long. I was chatting to 1 of my friends about her daughters wedding last weekend and another was chatting about her new romance. Listening to someones elses life and problems is exactly what i needed as i’m sick of talking about my own. I did feel better once i got home but i know i’m still not 100%. I cant seem to get past these feelings of jealousy that everyone else is getting on with their life while mine is falling apart and i cant help feeling hard done by, like i’ve been given a huge piece of a s*** sandwich. I know its stupid, that it wont last forever and that there are people worse off than me in the world but its just how i feel at the moment.
Hey fellow night owl,
I’m exactly the same at the moment, jealous of people who have been on holiday, jealous of my pregnant friend, jealous of people planning nights out, I know it’s silly as they’re just carrying on with their lives (& why wouldn’t they), but I can’t help it either!
At work last week a colleague came up to me and whinged about her paper cut, at the time it was all I could do not to punch her in the face and say ‘swap ya’! But now I think about it she was just being normal & acting how should would have done with me before all this crap happened.
We’re conflicted beings at the mo I guess but I think given all we’re going through it’s only natural.
Hope some sleep fairies come your way soon, I’m gonna try & hunt one down for myself,
Morning Jelly i hope you managed some sleep last night? I havent slept properly for the last 4 nights and last night i had the most bizarre dream about my mum. We were at my flat and she was moving things around then declared that she was moving my bed into the front room and re-arraging the rest of my flat to suit her. I walked into the living room and she had put up my xmas tree and decorated it herself but also added halloween decorations and at that point i completely lost it with her, told her in no uncertain terms that it was my flat and she had no right to move my things or put up my xmas tree as its something i always do with my son and i promptly threw her out telling her not to come back! I wonder if its something to do with my feelings of being out of control of my life at the moment. I understand where your coming from with your workmate. When i was losing my hair one of my good friends from work started saying things like ‘welcome to my world’ when i complained about my hair thinning. She does have very thin hair at the back due to an incident when she was at school where a girl ripped out her hair during a fight i believe but also yesterday i showed her how my nails have become ridged with lines across them and slightly discoloured. She showed me hers which do look worse than mine but its from where she constantly wears false nails. Her comment of ‘i bet that makes you feel better’ made me want to scream that no it didnt as she has self inflicted damage whereas mine are damaged through chemo so its hardly the same. I feel like she tries to trivialise my complaints yet there are other times where she cries at the drop of a hat about what i’m going through or continually tells me how strong and brave i am. I guess it must be hard knowing what to say as a friend or family member sometimes and due to our changing emotions i guess we take things to heart somedays more than others when its not meant in a mean or patronising way. Oh and heres another quick story for you. Someone on my facebook feed a few days ago updated their status saying they were fed up of their short hair as they were sick of ‘looking like a lesbian’! Thoughts of you should be damn lucky you have hair consumed me and I couldnt help but write ‘well how do u think i feel’ underneath it.
Sian x
Just a quick one ladies. I’ve had a sciatic like pain in my right leg today. Its not the back of my leg though its the front about halfway up my thigh. At one point when i went to the loo earlier it made me call out in pain as it was so sore. Its fine when i’m sitting down it only seems to be when i walk around or go for a wee. Has anybody else had this at all or got any idea what it could be?
Evening all, I’m in steroid city ready for 5th tax tomorrow.
smc78, Ihaven’t got a pain in my leg but my shoulder is very sore and I have pins and needles running down my arm, Its since I did the ironing on monday, I don’t have to do much to make myself ache. I feel so unfit at the moment and so tired, I’m usually much better by my 3rd week, been a bit breathless aswell, honestly I feel about 90. Your dream was crazy, definately some out of control significance, I never remember mine. Hope you get to see take that tribute.
Lauralable and jelly last ones, I can’t believe I’ll say the same in 3 weeks, although I did ask if they were sure it was enough at my appt yesterday because I could probably take some more, only having a panic obviously.I think my doc thinks I’m slightly manic and she is going to have to deal with a massive breakdown once treatment is finished ( she may be right).
Hazza 81,I love making christmas cards, always use the kids on them, last year they were an angel and two stars and the year before poor baby nia was a christmas pudding and boys were large golden spoons ready to eat her up. This year I’m going for 3 wise men and borrowing their brand new baby cousin as jesus in the manger!!!
I had some jehovahs witnesses at the door today, sorry if anyone is one but it did make me giggle when they gave me a leaflet on miracles, I went on to explain that I could do with one, may give it a read.
I’m off to take my sedatives, see if I can sleep and save my bank account on the online shopping at 3am.
Lots of love Vickyxxx
Hi Sian
Could be a side effect of the tax giving you the pain in your thigh. I said earlier that after my first dose of tax I had terrific pain in my thighs. I gave the onc a typed up list of all side effects after the first dose because they were so bad (lower dose second time so pain controllable) but I now have a scan on my left thigh booked for 30th, the week after my final tax. I didn’t ask for the scan and don’t know why they want it but I’ll go with the flow. Take a full list of side effects with you, don’t rely on memory, once pain has gone it’s so easy to forget how bad it was (the brain thinks don’t be a wimp you survived so it couldn’t have been that bad!!!).
I see you’re a TT fan - my daughter also. I have spent many an hour queuing for tickets because she had to either be at work or college - absolute nightmare one year at Birmingham she had exams and could only do one night in the queue but that meant she wouldn’t get decent tickets - I’m her mother what else could I do, I queued the first night, never been so cold in my life and I come from the frozen north (it was November and below freezing). She got her front row tickets though and that’s what mattered. Yeh, yeh I know the word on my forehead reads ‘Idiot’.
Hope the pain in your leg has eased off a bit and you can at least get some sleep.
Take care ladies
Maggie
Thanks Maggie, its not like the bone aches i normally get, it isnt all the time and only seems to be in the thigh of my right leg. Its painfull when i walk or move about. Think i’ll give the hospital a ring this afternoon. This morning i will be spending time trying to get tickets to see Gary Barlow. What a lovely mum you are queing in the cold to get tickets for your daughter. I’ve seen TT live 7 times including when they were 1st famous in 1993. My sister and i have sat outside Milton Keynes Bowl and Wenbley for up to 12 hours before in order to get near the front and was worth it every time. Sian x
So last night, no sleep til 4am, blimmin steroids, non stop thoughts of anxiousness, nerves, what nexts whizzing through my head… But now I’m home & have had my last chemo!
I am now a…
Looking forward to more of you joining me & Laura soon xxx
Hi Jelly how are u doing? i’ve stopped feeling sorry for myself and my mood is much better. I’m still having problems after treatment nearly 2 weeks ago though. After all the usual side effects had gone i had that horrible sciatic pain in my leg for 3 days and as soon as that had gone i woke up on Saturday morning with a sore eye! I’ve got no eyelashes on the bottom anymore but still a few on the top. My left upper eyelid is very red and swollen. It was sore to blink at the weekend but isnt as sore now. I look like i’ve been punched though. I’ve tried googling it and thought it was a stye but there isnt a spot which seems to be the symptoms of that’ its just swollen and red. I’m going to ring my doctor after lunch to get it looked at. My guess is it could be a slight infection due to the lack of eyelashes keeping out the dirt.
Hope everyone else is well.
Sian x
Hi girls
Smc78, does sound a bit like a stye, if you hold a hot cloth over it and gunk comes out, it prob is. I had one few weeks back, needed antibiotics to clear it up.
Congrats laurable and jelly on your last chemo, will be joining you on wednesday hopefully. Chemo nurses are all lovely, but just feel ill when I think of sitting in the day unit.
Sending good last chemo vibes to you all.
Xox claire
Hi Sian, sorry bout your eye, sounds sore. Hopefully what Claire says is right and all you need are antibiotics.
Claire - Fingers crossed for Wednesday, I know it’s horrid being in all day but just think of greater good.
I’m okay, had a bit of a panic attack yesterday, was v weird, was feeling okay but then everything just got on top of me. My lovely OH ended up just taking me for a drive about 9pm and just blasting some cold air in my face and getting out of my flat made me feel a bit better.
So far no major SEs but these have tended to kick in for me around day 4. Hoping as T#5 was better than T#4 that maybe T#6 will be betterer too, keeping (sore) fingers crossed.
My nails and end of fingers feel peculiar at the moment & I think it’s not going to be long before I lose some Ah well, it’s crappy but what can you do?
Am still no nearer to finding out surgery dates etc, had my meeting with onc last week where they said lump was really hard to find but still feel but I still feel upset that I’ve had no actual scan and all the ‘measuring’ has been done through touch. Still I guess they know what they’re looking for, it’d just be good to have some ‘real’ data if that makes sense. I did get told I’d have dates sent through ASAP for scans and then I guess from the scan they’ll determine surgery dates etc.
I’m also a bit worried about recovery times, I’ve seen on some forum posts that people have taken over a year off work. I’ve been going into work when I can but was unsure if I have mx or lumpectomy what the expected recovery time is, does anyone know? I’m pretty sure my work will ask me soon. They’ve been really good throughout chemo but obv they need some update on me too.
Jelly it does seem strange that u dont have any scans booked yet but hopefully they are on to it if they said u would get appointments asap. I have an ultrasound booked for next Mon, last chemo Tues then a CT scan on Wed. I was told at dignosis that its an overnight stay in hospital and 4 weeks recovery with 2 weeks no driving. I dont have a date for surgery yet but am hoping to get one after the scans. My nails look a bit discoloured at the top and have lines in them but are doing ok at the moment. They have been sore for about a week after Tax and this time round i had to get my son to peel an orange for me and get my bank card out of my purse as it was too sore for me. I’ve also had trouble getting pills out their packets. As things are now i think i’ll get away without losing any. How are your feet? My toenails dont hurt at all do yours?
Sian x
