Thank you Stellanbraska im sorry about my rant just had a mad hour where felt i couldn’t cope !!!
I can cope and will cope and there are lots of people out there in worse positions than me - so need to buck up and carry on fighting this !!!
Thank you again x
ladyofsurrey-cross posted and glad you are feeling better x
Ladyof surrey-I’m your age with a 6 year old son and I think your feelings are so normal.
I’ve just finished chemo in December and throughout have struggled with feelings of guilt about my son (bringing illness into his life/just not being physically or mentally able to do things with him etc). I also found chemo has made me very introspective and alienated from most of my friends/family-who try and help but can never really understand the sheer physical and mental impact that chemo can have.
Please go very easy on yourself and tell yourself that this time will pass. I don’t know whether you are having trouble sleeping but I was which made everything seem worse. I got some medication from my oncologist and this really helped. Its not for everyone but worth considering.
If its any consolation my 3rd chemo was the toughie and my last 3 were a bit easier. The injections will help too.
Take care xx
Sukiem
To hear from people that understands makes me feel so much better about myself.
I really struggle especially when it comes to the children and how it’s affecting them but a few months of CBeebies and microwave meals will not hurt !!! (I KEEP TELLING MYSELF)
There are people out there who are in worse positions so i need to pick myself up and carry on the fight which i will do !!!
We will all get through this and beat it xxx
Sukiem
To hear from people that understands makes me feel so much better about myself.
I really struggle especially when it comes to the children and how it’s affecting them but a few months of CBeebies and microwave meals will not hurt !!! (I KEEP TELLING MYSELF)
There are people out there who are in worse positions so i need to pick myself up and carry on the fight which i will do !!!
We will all get through this and beat it xxx
Hi Lady of Surrey
I totally understand where you’re coming from and have up and down days, with more down days than up. i’ve had my 2nd FEC and felt totally floored all over christmas and new year and my three children 9, and 8yr old twins had to put up with me not wanting to eat or play or celebrate and i was in a lot of pain with my back, so am naturally panicking about that…
i have cried most days and had some really morbid thoughts… ones that dont bear thinking about really… I think this whole experience is one of my worst nightmares and pray that i live to tell the tale…
You are not alone…we are part of a really big club…
Big hugs
xx
Mandyp
We just need to tell ourselves we will get over this. I know exactly what you mean about the dark thoughts and i have reoccuring dreams which then leave me awake during the early hours of the morning which sends my brain into overdrive. We have to fight and will fiight because of our children and must never give up the fight. I have calmed down now and feel a lot better and on looking at other threads realise that there are a lot of other people in worse situations. My Macmillan nurse told me it was totally normal to fell like we are and to just go with the flow and take day by day. I have started to ask for help from freinds (which i never did before as wanted things as normal- but chemo is not normal nd need to remeber this) . The children are out having fun at a playdate whilst i might get some sleep or a bath.
Never never give up and rant like i did earlier because we are human and cannot always be supermums xxx
Mandyp
I also have had back pain which has only started since chemo i have had a scan as i thought it had spread !!! Apparently i have a minor back problem (nothing to do with C) and the chemo drugs have exaggerated the pain !!! Obviously i was over the moon and i you need to make sure your ongoligist knows about your back pain and request a CAT/MRI scan. Im sure it will be nothing and it will put your mind at rest.I am also on GCFS Injections and these also give you back and hip pain.
You will survive as will i xx
Lady of Surrey - Ive sent you a Personal Message - I think?!?!?
hi sparklers, going for my 4th session on wed, bit worried as this is the 1st of Taxotere, more se to look out for. ive been suffering with a bad back pain too, i thought it was because i have gained so much weight, might ask when i go in next week. hugs all xx
Lady of Surrey I really know how you feel I think we all have these dark thoughts I know I do but I am learning to just take one day as it comes plus as other sparklers have said we are all here for you and your not alone, I get a lot of strengh from all the great people on here.
Stay strong
love yvonne xxxx
Jellymould - sorry to gatecrash november’s thread, but as i am december i often look through nov in anticipation of how it might be… anyway i have been suffering with a shocking back - do you think that it might be that we’ve gone from being really fit and active to not doing very much? Ive been really worried about mine and have at times foud the pain almost intolerable… my onc says it is more than likely stress / tension / post surgery???
Mx
hi sparklers,
lady of Surrey, stay strong, Remember we ara all on a journey we have not chosen to follow, we have to find inner strength to take us on our journey we have to be both strong and brave, we have to fight our demons & keep moving this journey will make us stronger & find people on our way to help us get to the end.
Jelly I am having my fourth chemo on Thursday, I am dreading it too, big hug x x
love and best wishes to you all xx
We are sparklers & have to keep sparkling brightly 
x
Hi Sparklers,
Until now I have been a “lurking” Sparkler but felt it was time I came out from under cover to say hello. After a lifetime of breast cysts my last lump was diagnosed as BC in late October. Had lumpectomy on 9th November, with clear margins and no affected nodes. Diagnosed stage 1, grade 3. Fortunately I’m covered by BUPA so everything has been done very quickly for which I’m grateful, but I’ve gone through everyone of the emotions of horror, fear, anger, morbidity that all you ladies mention in your posts. Until I’d read your posts I felt like I was the only person in the world with this beast of a problem. Now I know it is perfectly normal and acceptable to be normal one minute and in floods of emotional tears the nexgt for no appartent reason
My biggest fear was losing my hair and announcing myself to the world as a cancer patient. I’ve told hardly anyone about my condition - just my husband, my son and daughter and their other halves and my brother and my best friend. All are ssworn to secrecy. They are all so supportive. I’m using the cold cap and am due to have FEC 3 (of 6) on Tuesday. Hair is shedding - started day 25 - but no bald spots just thinner. It looks such a mess, especially after each treatment with the ghastly leave in conditioner but I’m determined to keep on with the caps. Have got two wigs but I think they would put too much stress on the hair if I wore them, so I don’t. Saw in the Sunday paper today a new shampoo due to be in Boots on 27th of January called FAST. It wasn’t an advert but one of these write up things they do on new products. It is said to make the hair grow twice as fast and can be helpful for chemo patients with hair regrowth. Doesn’t work on people who have gone naturally bald though. Went on line and I see that Amazon are selling it now. It is made of amino acids and natural products, balanced ph and no sodium sulphates which damage the hair. I’m going to get some in stock. I’m a sucker for things like this.
I think you ladies are wonderful. Strong and brave, and you have inspired me to get in, get on with it and get is over with. Thank you all.
Lynda
Hi
Lynda - I have just read that article and ordered some myself. I thought I would have a problem getting it but Amazon have it in stock.It’s also on ebay so I bid for some on there aswell, if it works I will be using loads! Got to be worth a try, even if it makes my hair grow slightly faster it will be worth it.
Ladyofsurrey - so glad you are feeling a bit better, it must be so hard, my daughter is 15 and just seems to spend more time with her friends now, who are a great support for her, but I do miss her.
Lots of love
xxx
Hi Pascal
Have you been using the cold cap and kept your hair? Are you intending using this FAST shampoo and cndition whilst you are still having treatment? I wasn’t sure what to do. I’m having my third FEC on Tuesday and am wondering how many more the hair will stand up to.
I’ve been fairly lucky I think. I have never been or have felt sick but the red stuff gives me cystitus and I try to drink gallons of water during treatment and for the next 36 hours - seems to help. Trouble is I’m on the loo every 30 minutes or so, so sleepless nights are a definite. Don’t sleep more than a few hours a night anyway. Biggest side effect for me is indigestion even though they give me medication for that for 14 days, I keep having to top it up with Zantac, gaviscon etc. Think I’ll ask for stronger stomache meds next time. Get terrible chemo brain for the first 4 days though.
Love Lynda
sparklers
just want to inform you that I made a stand with husband and told him hasks putting me under unnecessary stress and if he did not change he would have to leave! This morning he got up first ( that is a first ! ) did the kids breakfast and has taken the eldest fishing ! lets hope it lasts x thank you all for you’re love and support and lovely messages xx we will all get through this together xxx
thank you Lynda re FAST shampoo info I have lost my hair but will definitely invest once chemo is over x
Hi sparklers,
I had my 3rd FEC on 27th December, and despite telling them twice about my cough and cold they said that because my bloods were ok it was ok for it to go ahead. RESULT??? felt ill ever since until yesterday, had to go back to hospital on 2nd Jan as i felt so ill - had blood tests etc and was able to come home with anitibiotics. Apart from trip to hosp, yesterday was the first day ive been dressed/out of house since treatment. Hoping to pop out with my mom a bit later for a wander round shops.
Onc told me that when i start ‘T’, i would have to have a daily injection for seven days starting day after treatment, but when i went for last FEC they decided to start me on them early, apparently they can cause aches and pains as well, so not sure exactly what i been suffering from recently!!!
Bordercollies:- speak to docs about heartburn/indegestion - after my 1st treatment i had Lansaprazole for 7 days but heartburn didnt start until later in the second week. When i told onc she said 7 days worth was no good and told me to take them everyday which i do now, and as they are on prescription they free as well.
Ladyofsurrey:- hope things continue to improve for you - i felt terrible when i read your 1st post. i dont know how you and the others on here who have children manage to cope. My kids are married and im surrounded by people who help me out and spoil me, i dont have to do a thing if i dont feel like it makes me feel guilty for moaning and moping around.
Anyway fellow sparklers, good luck, love and best wishes to you all xxx
hi everyone, hope youre all dealing with the se ok and holding on to youe sanity! piles unbearable at mo so any tips would be welcome. latest tip freeze marigolds and insert to relieve inflamation, agony. i get the general impression hat premenopausal women suffer with se more due totheir hormones than women already through the menopause. anyone any thoughts on this? hope the se lessen soon. doing my head in.
love clarebare x x x x x
hi everyone, hope youre all dealing with the se ok and holding on to youe sanity! piles unbearable at mo so any tips would be welcome. latest tip freeze marigolds and insert to relieve inflamation, agony. i get the general impression hat premenopausal women suffer with se more due totheir hormones than women already through the menopause. anyone any thoughts on this? hope the se lessen soon. doing my head in.
love clarebare x x x x x