Welcome Emily - sorry about the draining. I had to keep going back to be drained after my mastectomy. Went for final time on Monday (7 weeks to the day after op.) and she finally could not get it out although the ultra sound showed I still had some seroma.
Hair beginning to show signs of coming out if I put my hands through it as I did this morning and its only day 14!
Off for a proper prosthesis fitting tomorrow, yet another visit to the breast clinic. Chemo next Tuesday hopefully.
Think my hair may also be showing signs of shedding! Bit of a sore scalp today and I’m sure more hairs than normal coming out if I run my hands through it. Also hair ‘downstairs’ coming out!!! I’m also day 14.
Hope all goes well with fitting tomorrow. Haven’t heard anything about mine yet.
Got the prosthesis and am quite pleased, although realised the bras I have bought don’t really fir properly. The fitter tried one she had on me which was wonderful even if it is a size bigger but a cup size smaller - will have to get one when I’ve got some more money.
Washed my hair last night and the scalp was really painful - slight shredding again today. Felt a bit weird today, perhaps overdoing it as trying to go to a lace making workshop some 24 miles drive away (missed yesterday as so tired).
Hi Hannah, glad the prosthesis is OK, new bras to look forward to in the future. Sorry to know that you’ve got a painful scalp, mine went thtough the same kind of thing. Hope it calms down really soon.
Sorry to hear about the beginnings of hair loss (though I can’t say I am worried about the downstairs loss) and hope your prosthesis fittings have gone okay.
I am feeling quite a bit better today than yesterday. Haven’t been sick thanks to anti sickness tablets and lots of ginger beer! Had a headache most of yesterday and Tuesday night and just feel “poisoned” (the only way I can think of to describe it). Face feels flushed from steriods but other than that so far no other side effects!!!
Am off to see the wig lady on Saturday so should have nice false hair for when my hair goes. I have always been a bit of a shedder and suffered alopaecia intermittently in life so don’t know how long my hair will hold on for as its shedding a bit more already but no sore scalp. Have hubby booked in to have a go at “styling and cutting” my hair next friday night before shaving it off if its started to go by then (though he’s practically hopping around with the scissors already!).
Am also going to see the opticians as don’t want no hair and glasses or glasses sitting under my wig or hat showing off my bald sides or sitting on top looking odd so am going to re-stock on my daily disposables (I only ever used them for nights out). I might go for some bright coloured ones to enhance my natural colour to distract from my hair or lack off!
The only downer at the mo is that my back wound appears to have opened up! My surgeon gave the go ahead for kimo last weds and last friday it bled a little so I stuck a dressing on so that I could at least wear my post mx bra to go out. I left the dressing on so I could continue to have support and then noticed last night that some serious gunk had come out. Took the dressing off to see that the scab part in the centre of my back wound had gone yellow and fallen off and some stuff had leaked and I could see a hole! Cant see my surgeon till next week at the earliest if he can squeeze me in but don’t want to go to a hospital during low immunity so on advice of BC nurse am going to see my GP today hopefully for some reassurance that the lower layers have healed and that the scab will reform and I wont have a nasty hole for some bugs to get into next week!!
Love to you all, am going to go and curl up on sofa with 10 year old daughter and watch some DVDs as am now feeling a bit dodgy again after breakfast and need a lie down!
Hi
Loosing hair in clumps today. Going to cut it short if my son and I can find the clippers. Have been feeling a bit odd - weak and tired on occasions this week. Think trying to go lace making each day was a no no! Only went twice and yesterday spent a lot of time in bed. This is week 3 of the cycle and I thought I would be well enough to go to work - it is a good thing my GP signed me off for a month at the beginning of October. Just hope my bloods are OK for 2nd FEC on Tuesday.
Best Wishes
Hannah
Not been on as not feeling up to it. Emotionally fed up with BC and how I feel and look. I have an infection in my back wound which the GP and Nurse poured stuff on to take the “slough” I think they called it off (basically the ucky bits of scab left) and took a swab and covered it up with a massive padded plaster and stuck me on 650mg penicillin 3 times a day. They think its just the top layer of stitches that have gone loose and opened up and I so want to have a look but am terrified and don’t want to move the plaster. Feel a bit fluey but no temperature and don’t know if its the infection, flu jab I had Wednesday, kimo or anti-bioticis. Am due to go back and see the nurse on Monday but I am fed up because my back (which was numb since the op) is hurting now and I cant sleep on it anymore so am back to sleeping on one side and getting a cauliflower ear!
Feel tired, fed up, ugly, fat, scarred, damaged, broken etc etc and I’m not even bald yet!! I want to be a year from now wearing a half decent bit of underwear (I’ll settle for one nipple), with hair, feeling stronger and cuddling my hubby on a warm beach somewhere. However right now I’d settle for feeling fit and having a bath full of bubbles. I am going to drown my sorrows tonight with a small glass of white wine cos apart from feeling emotionally fed up I don’t feel as sick today so sod it.
Went to see wig lady today. I wont be able to have hair like my own 1) because my hair is normally so fine a wig that fine would show the stitches apparently 2) you can’t really tuck a wig behind your ears as I do my hair without showing the bald bits. So I have ordered a style a bit like mine but fuller and bouncier and hopefully that will make me feel like a l’oreal lady and gorgeous not self conscious and stupid.
Rats rats rats!!! "orry, should be a positive thread but right now all I want to do is cry.
Oh Ostich
you will get there, keep thinking ahead to one years time, I bought myself some really lovely bras from one of the catalogues not cheap but nice, and made me feel a bit more human, Im sure your wig will be fine, i know i dreaded going for mine, but when i wore it and my sister didnt even notice and i felt really good about it, but i still have hair because im only on day 17 but its going fast,
I fully get the cauliflower ear, i used to wake up with such a pain in the ear from lying in such awkward positions.
You have a broken part that is going to be fixed you will get there, stay positive be strong , and you dont need a beach to cuddle your hubby just cuddle him now, because he is going through this with you, and i bet he is just as scared if not more, he loves you and he wont want to see you hurting and he will feel hopeless but let him know you still need him and cuddle him every chance you get.
and when you need to cry just cry, because it’s good for you to let the feelings out, we all have days like this, there shit, but tomorrow the sun might shine or you just might hear something that makes you smile,
try and have a better day tomorrow, and remember you are still you, you are the woman you were before on the inside, dont let this thing beat you,
Shirl
Thanks Shirl so much for your post, it brought tears to my eyes. I am feeling a bit better today, got up, did the hair whilst its still there, put some slap on and went to church. Cried a lot in church but then I do every sunday at the moment but had some prayer and am feeling less at odds with God and the world.
You are right re my hubby, he is busily ripping out the downstairs loo and re-doing it with his best friend. When asked “why?” when the upstairs bathroom needs cleaning and no-one is pressing him to do DIY he told me that he has to feel he has some control over something and that gives him the sense of being able to fix something when he cant fix me. With blokes being such “fix it” people I can understand what he’s saying. There are lots of hugs going on in this house and much more understanding of where we are both coming from than at times in the past.
Hannah, how’s the hair today? Did you cut it all off in the end? Are you feeling a bit more energetic?
So glad you are feeling better. I too had a tear in my eye after reading Shirls post. Hope downstairs loo works out ok!! I have posted on 2nd Fec thread, get confused sometimes who’s posting where etc. I’m not too bad today, just having a relaxing day today. 2nd FEC Tues hopefully then its 2 sown 4 to go.
Ostrich, sweetheart, read your earlier post and I am crying for you, I feel so much the same being emotionally fed up with the BC stuff, and I haven’t yet got the sore back part cos I haven’t had recon yet. My hear goes out to you. Glad that your husband is able to do something that gives him a sense of control and great that you guys are talking. Big hugs. My hair is very fine, too, so all wigs feel enormous on me. I’m doing it by having things which are very unlike my usual short plain hair style, completely OTT rock chich superstar looks - it’s fun but I long to be back to ‘just me’.
Shirl, you’re making my eyes moist and dewy with your words.
Caz, glad you’re having a relaxing day, enjoy :-), keep posting and let us know how you’re doing, will be thinking of you for FEC 2 on Tuesday.
I feel bulldozered today, ratty bad tempered, tearful for any reason, and just want to sleep sleep sleep. My husband and son are off to Kent in a couple of hours leaving me to peace and quiet in the house, so an early night beckons complete with lie-in tomorrow morning and no having to get up during the night for wet toddler PJs, hoorah - grandma can deal with all of that, then send me back freshly laundered and ironed clothes with a snarky comment about how I don’t do ironing ever, ah well, saves me the bother even if it is jammas getting ironed!
Hannah…Just got back from holiday. Please don’t think I was being disrespectful of your emotions. This is the last thing I would ever want to do. I just don’t want you worrying about things that may never happen. Use that energy to become well.
I read so much stuff on here on the early days and imagined I had everything going…it drove me nuts, so much so that I didnt’t come on here for a few weeks. Now I just stick to this thread and our other one where I feel comfortable and we are all at the same stage of our treatment. If I upset you, I apologise but it was not my intention.
Hi all
I am so sorry if my words upset any of you they were really well meant, I think i am one of the lucky ones i have not been very ill with any of this treatment and although i have stayed off work my life has not changed so much, except for one less boob, but noticable to the outside world because i have my falshy, but still waiting for my prothesis 12 weeks on, my hair is on the way out, but yesterday i wore my bandana and when i was looking for a table in a cafe a nice chappie offered me his table, i know people keep teling me im strong but i dont wont to waste anytime on this illness and i intend to stay positive. I have started xmas shopping and this year with being at home im finding the time to wrap as i buy, OH out at the ice rink with daughter so im putting tea on for 6,30 nice ribeye steak rare with peppercorn sauce, onion rings, potatoes and veg, yum yum, and just boring ice cream for desert.
Ostrich glad you went to church, and made some peace with him upsatairs, i thought it funny that your OH decided to work on the Loo, its a shitty place to go with a shitty illness,
take care all
Shirl
Didn’t mean that you upset me, it brought a tear to my eye in a good way. I too think of myself as one of the lucky ones so far so good with treatment. Due 2nd kimo Tues and am feeling positive that I will bear up ok. Can’t think of it any other way as ‘the only way is up’. (Showing my age and knowledge of bad pop songs now)lol
Dinner sounds fab by the way. Roast Chicken with all the trimmings for me and home made apple crumble or jam roly poly for afters!
Welcome back from your hols Pheebster - trust it was not too cold!
Well done Trojan with your comments for Ostrich - put things much better than I could. The meal sounds wonderful and making me hungry although I’ve already had a main meal at lunchtime. My two sons tend to be very traditional in what they will eat and I think peppercorn sauce would be out of the question.
Ostrich glad to hear you made it to church and that it was helpful. I have not made church today as too tired in the morning and my son has the car this evening as he is at work.Do feel free to share the downs as well as the ups so we can support each other through this illness and treatment. Glad you can cry - I wish I could have a good cry but find my way of coping with all this business is to be strong for all those around me. Underneath the chemo business is getting to me I think mainly because it has whacked me out more than I expected. I have realised the last few days that I need to pace myself even when I feel OK as if I start tackling things my energy goes and i start to feel queasy and ill. So today has mainly been TV and reading.
Hair is still coming out, but did not manage to cut it really short as although we found the clippers - they seem not to work any more. Anyone suffering with a sore scalp as the hair comes out? Mine is incredibly painful when I wash it or lay on it in the wrong position in bed.
Ostrich - how is DIY going? It is funny how men like to fix things but avoid the cleaning! I hope your OH clears up after his DIY. Mine usually didn’t - it was assumed I would clean and hoover up the mess made in the process. My sons follow in his footsteps when it comes to any cooking they do - Mum will clear up and wash up!
Worried about 2nd FEC on Tuesday as feeling tired still at the end of this first cycle. Anyway have got a friend coming with me this time.
Looking forward to more updates.
Best Wishes
Hannah
Yes my scalp is tender and think it does coincide with hair coming out. Mine seems to be coming out more at front than back - will end up looking like a monk probably. lol
My 2nd FEC tues as well. Am a bit apprehensive as have read posts from a couple of people who seem a lot worse on 2nd one. I know side effects are cummulative but am hoping wont be too bad.
Glad you have friend with you, makes time go quicker I think. I’m having mine on my own this time as kids don’t go back to school til Weds so hubby will have to look after them. Plan on taking some magazines and a good book.
Hi everyone. I had my second FEC last Weds and it has been no worse than the first. Apart from a bit tired felt almost normal Weds and Thurs. Muscle pains kicked in Friday, but I made it to the theatre Saturday night - just warning everyone not to hug me. Left with general aches and malaise. My hair has almost all gone now and I am finding that a trial - just have to avoid looking in the mirror. Hope to be on the up from tomorrow and be back at work Wednesday before fireworks party at friends’.
It is bloody miserable, isn’t it? But reading your posts I feel better that I’m not the only one this way. Chins up girls
Liz
I’m on day 19 FEC 1 and lady garden is looking a bit sparse (OH loves the brazilian look hehe) but my head is still intact…every morning when I wake up the first thing I do is check my head wrap for hairs!!!