Suzy - forgot to say - not much of a friend - may have been too worried to take it up with you & didn’tknow how to deal with it but still just booking for someone else totally not on.
Nottsgal - I’m just thinking s*d it & going with Sept with a phased return which will be 2 months after RADS finishes - I think Kaz (poppy) got signed off for 2 months after RADS - I think we need time to recover more mentally as well as physically. I still burst into tears at the drop of a hat - blubbed on the phone to boss when she asked how my daughter was getting on. don’t want to go back being too vulnerable. take the time you need. If they are that cluless they have booked you appts as if you’ll be totally back to normal straight away they clearly have no idea of the impact & need to be shown by you getting a DR to sign you off for longer. Also if you go back too soon & can’t cope you risk being off for even longer if it crumbles so better to get stronger first I think!!!
silly I am V tired but don’t want to go to bed??? - watching cash in the attic -!!!“?”?
Cash in the Attic and similar programmes are the reason I want to go back to work ;0)
My hubby thinks I should tell our GP what the psychologist said (I have appt next Tues as sick notes runs out) and leave it to him. I don’t want to avoid talking to my boss in the meantime but don’t want to lie and say I’ll be back at the start of June when I probably won’t. The psychologist also said if you go back too early and can’t cope it’s more demoralising (presumably than watching Bargain Hunt etc).
Hope you all have good days, and Claire, hope the school are now looking after your son properly so there is no drama this morning.
Morning:)))))
Polly - glad your pre-assment went ok, got mine today for my snb.
Claire - glad your son went to school:) big hugs xxx
Sophie - bike - wow:))) Husband has a bike in bits in the garage, metal bits arrive daily from ebay. My friends husband kept his bike in the dining room for 12 years, it was mentioned in their divorce papers:) Good Luck:)))
Nottsgal - glad you had a nice weekend away. Tell your gp what the pysch said, be kind to yourself:)))
Millykins - I watch all sorts of randomness at stupid o’clock:))
Been reading up a lot on the hot flushes, nothing stops them, wear layers, avoid stress, caffeine, alcohol and sleep on cotton sheets. Lots of stuff about taking natural remedies, but will speak to bcn after my op. Has anyone else got the pounding noise in their left ear??? Most annoying!
Husband has told me he is going on a golfing weekend 2 weeks after my surgery, he dosen’t even play golf…
Got my wig washed yesterday, hairdresser was amazed at my hair growth, she deals with a lot of bc ladies so has seen it all before, she said she can put a semi permanent hair colour on, so thats the grey problem covered up:) Going to wait until after my op though, give it a few more weeks growth.
Big hugs
kerry xxxx
Hi all
Having new windows fitted so the dogs and I are confined to the conservatory for the next few days.
Sophie - what sort of bike are you getting? As I’m short I always have to have them lowered so I don’t change bikes very often. My oh is always changing his not even sure if I can remember what he’s got at the moment.
Polly glad your pre assessment has been and gone. Hope you took a good book with you.
Strange how people think you’re all ok when chemo/rads have finished. Even people I’ve told throughout still don’t seem to get it. I’ve referred myself to the occupational health doctor at work in the hope that it will become very clear that I’ll need to take it easier for a while. Just hope to hell they agree!
Take care all. Can’t wait for York.
Reeb. Xx
Hi everyone,
Reeb - Hope it stays warm and dry while the windows are being done.
Polly - hope all goes well with the op.
Claire , it’s a big plus if your son goes to school - it’s better for both of you.
Can you get a few people to take you to rads a couple of times each - or ask about hospital transport. I’ve found rads easy to cope with and have gone on the bus - we have a bus that goes along the motorway and stops outside the hospital so I’m lucky there. I’ve sometimes driven myself, but parking is a hassle and you have to allow loads of extra time to queue up to get on the car park.
Booster rads are concentrated on the scar area instead of the whole breast area - my clear margins were not quite clear.
Kerry, don’t think anything helps with hot flushes except layers and a fan. HRT of course, but that is a no-no for most of us now. Not looking forward to Arimidex making them worse.
Nottsgal and Millykins - don’t go back to work too soon and make sure it’s phased.
Only three more rads to go.
Stella xx
Hi girls
Countdown to wedding on Saturday…yikes! Have all clothes sorted, b&b sorted …have to collect dead pig (!!!) from abattoir on Thursday afternoon and deliver it to the hog roast people. Sheep shearers have decided Thursday morning looks dry weatherwise so are coming then…collecting 160 bread rolls from bakery near wedding Friday morning…then helping decorate reception venue…2 old barns! Have to go out with the extended family of bride and groom on Friday night including my ex and his irritating wife…help!
Saturday am meeting bride daughter and other daughter to get ready together…but oh…irritating wife of ex coming too…she is sorting out make up for my daughters…who don’t wear it…and herself who does and needs to! And me…though I don’t want any…nervous breakdown or murder most foul approaching I think!
At church…who sits where…she wants to be mother of bride…but isnt…I am…she will sob all through…oh whoops make up will run…!
…and we havent even got as far as the reception…
Not sure how long I will be able to resist being rude to her…she means well but its my daughter who is getting married and my daughter who has had a shitty 18 months with this crap and watching me get it too…step mum has only been on the scene for a few years and of course has done the blimmin silly comments like…oh well its nice you are both cured now and I had a lump removed so I know how you both feel…hers was small cyst!!!
…may need an escape plan or a tunnel out of the church!
Sorry to rant but its like a black comedy!
OK LiF, some re-ordering of your story needed. How about sheep shearers come to sort out ex’s wife? or you could take ex’s wife to hog roast people? but her make-up would run if they put her on a spit. With 2 barns for reception, can she not be put in one and the door locked?
Speaking as a step-mum of already adult women, I consider myself their father’s wife and only use the term stepdaughters to other people (and then for convenience) - not to the girls themselves. At the oldest one’s wedding, I sat a few rows back with other family members while hubby sat at the front and did the giving away bit. He then stood in the reception receiving line and sat at the top table. I sat with his sister etc. A daughter’s wedding is a big day for the mother but if, like me, you come on the scene when they’re already grown up, you can’t expect any role. In fact, my only role was paying towards SD’s wedding as hubby couldn’t afford it at the time.
Nottsgal, you are the living exception to the rule of step-mothers being evil witches… or variant spellings of such - good for you for being so grown up about it all, and I’m sure your ‘step kids’ appreciate you all the more for it.
LiF - breathe in, breathe out etc etc etc etc. And make sure someone captures her expression on film as she is ushered to a table in the back of the barn…
You are the mother of the bride, and a formidable, fabulous m.o.b at that… with a stunning, gorgeous head, looking so well and so brave - I expect the ex’s new missus is quaking in her boots every time she meets you. Don’t let her do your make-up… would you trust yourself to do a good job on her face?? MAKE-UP, I mean…lmao… Val, you don’t need make-up to look stunning, and you want to be comfortable - I can’t think of any faster way to upsetting yourself than to have her deciding how you should appear…
Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out. Repeat as necessary. Then drink lots of beer.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Lif - can’t believe it’s come round so quick! I’d certainly suggest you take Nottsgal’s advice about the alternative plans and Trips suggestion re the make up and the beer. Be yourself, you’re beautiful as you are and your daughter will be so proud of you.
LiF - I’m sorry but your post made me LOL. I do hope someone is videoing. seriously though she is NOT in any way important on YOUR daughter’s wedding day - your daughter is & what she wants is important & YES YOU are MOB - stooooopid woman (her not you!!!)
I hope you all survive & manage to enjoy it all even with that added stress.
XXX jo XXX
LiF - I really hope you all have a fabulous day and that ex’s wife does not spoil it for you.
We are all looking forward to some pictures please.
Is your hair long enough to do something with. I guess it might be - you’re a few weeks ahead of me - mine is between half a centimetre and two centimetres and a bit patchy.
Good luck to you and your daughter - you deserve it.
Stella xx
LIF- i have all this to come potentially as my OH hooked up with someone else. try n enjoy regardless.
after what my GP said last week about recovery time from all this, i don’t want to push myself to going back too soon (even though i could do use doing so financially) - i am v v wobbly and just dont think i could go back until i am certain i willl not cry at the drop of a hat - its really weird the thought of going back to something/people that filled your days but many of us havent heard a peep from them for months - how can we go back to them when they havent been part of a really big part of our lives?
off to france tomorrow - packed and unpacked and repacked again!!
my son did go to school again today - with a little more enthusiasm thankfully.
hugs to all
claire
Thanks guys for the kind words…Jo…it does sound funny, bit like an Ealing comedy! Notts…you are amazing and ought to give lessons to silly moos like this,…what you did at sd wedding was perfect…and I like the idea of setting the sheep shears on her roflmao!!!
My hair is about 2cm all over and looks ok lengthwise, I’m wearing a hairband with a feathery thingy in it…all very 20s outfit is a bit wacky but then I’m not your normal run of the mill person!!! I’m also having purple edged hair and the kids love it!
Will post some pics on something you can all access next week so you can have a giggle!!
Meanwhile hope everyone is ok and chugging on…how many of us and who are going to york…really looking forward to that!
Morning:)))))
Lif - can only back up what the others have said - it’s YOUR daughters wedding:))) You are the mother of the bride, no one can take that away from you. Bet you rock those feathers and purple hair:))))))))))))
Claire - enjoy france. big hugs xxxxxx
Today i will be mainly sorting kids clothes out, they will insist on growing:) Its all go here!!!
Had pre- op yesterday, she took blood and my arm still aches, ‘oooo, thats gone a bit deep’ she said. I got weighed too, not good:(
Hugs to all.
Kerry xxxxxx
Thanks Trip and LiF but I’m not amazing, just used common sense. Sometimes we need to be more like men - e.g. I’m sure LiF’s current hubby didn’t demand that he should be the one to give away his stepdaughter. Men are more logical. The other thing is, I didn’t have to speak to my husband’s ex - only ever have once 9 years ago. At the daughter’s wedding (2006) I had in my head that when I got to her on the receving line I would say something about how beautiful all of her daughters looked (other 2 were bridesmaids) but before it got to that, I was told by one of daughters that her mother did not wish to shake hands with or speak to me and that I should walk straight past her when going along the receiving line.
As for your make-up LiF, if you start doing yours (with hand mirror if necessary) while ex’s husband is doing one of your daughter’s (even if you don’t wear much you can wave around some of your LGFB products and apply bits of them), then when she’s finished your daughters, you can say “oh don’t worry about me, I did my make up, while you were doing daughtername”. Most important thing is to enjoy the day, rise above it all. If you can cope with FEC and TAX, which are very unpleasant, you can cope with the dopey bag who your ex married.
Claire - have a great time in France.
hugs to everyone - I don’t know if you’re all like me, feeling weird that RADs have finished but don’t feel normal again yet.
LIF - hair sounds good!
Kerry- sorting kids clothes nows that’s a real chore - take your time, i know what it is like bags and piles of stuff everwhere
stella - pleased hair growing quick
notts gal - it must be a bit of a strange feeling finishing rads having been to hospital every day.
i’m off to France in a bit - just sorted out last few things. cant believe i am going really and feels very strange going without the kids. my son been to hospital today and fingers crossed will have his cast off next wednesday, - he due to go to italy on a school trip a few days later so there is a bit of glimmer of hope that he may be able to go - it would be so nice for him to go after the horrid time we have been having.
bye for now. hugs to all
claire x
Have a lovely holiday Claire, You deserve it. Hope your son enjoys his trip too.
Bon voyage. Stella xx
hey all
xx left laptop at andys, !! durr. .
lif, have a fab time at the wedding. cant wait to see pics.
claire , enjoy france
hugs to all others
right then ladies, whole of the bnb is booked for us , 12 peoples.
ive had deposits off 6 people. . val, pam, jannette, claire, reeb and kerry. . thanx all. xxx
who else is comming. xxxx
on the sunday we leave to come hoke im, catching a train up to berwick upon somewhere, and on the monday i start my 6 day walking treck, of 100 miles over the st oswalds way.
off to edinbugh tommorow, andys doing the marathon sunday.
ive been piling on the weight!! so now ive 2 months off work, i intend to get fit, and get walking.
flushes still happening, and dont sleep well of a nite.
mom started her cemo yesterday, all day then next wed and wed after an hours, then the cycle happens again
love to all, and missed you all xx
evening chaps
just posted in BCC on facebook - I want to go to younger women’s forum & can’t do london dates as am at centreparcs so am planning to go to birmingham one as is fairly easy to get to.
has anyone been to one or would anyone of the 45 and under group (I JUST squeeze in) be interested in going - I will anyway but would be lovely to meet people as I can’t make York - am gutted about that actually.
on another subject Rob spoke to my ONC today as I asked about doing REACT & he is advising against as apparently there are risks to your heart which is why surrey withdrew from the trials apparently so am having a meet with him to discuss but think if he doesn’t recommend then perhaps too big a risk on the drug for possible but as yet unproven benefits. I think I just wanted to feelk I was doing something active as I have no more treatment as TN?!?!?
X joXX
Hi all
LiF - have a fantastic day tomorrow. Hope it all goes well.
Stella - do your legs still ache? Mine are still terrible.
Spent ages yesterday trying to locate and remove some grit from my eye to eventually discover that it wasn’t grit but an eyelash sticking in my eye. Didn’t realise they had grown!
Take care all
Reeb xx