kerry , i havent had increased appetite on tamoxifan thank goodness (i could do without extra weight as ive put on loads already cos of this cr*p!!). Is scarelett feeling better today, i hope so? seroma sounds yuk? how long have they said it will stay for?
thanks for askin after jack - his foot is healed now and he is back footie training and running which is good.
i still feel glum despite starting to pop the pils from the doc but i do think they are helping - i havent cried quite as much (but any reduction in the amount i cry has go to be positive) cos ive cried forever for two years now and yes, at the slightest thing! that’s why i am scared i will never get back to work cos i wobble n cry
have you ditched the wig? well done if you have. I am getting tempted but i dont like not having a fringe. My daughter wants to coluor my hair tonite - 3 months post last chemo - any thoughts on it being too soon to use a coulor???
I am totallly drenched by the hot flushes though Nottsgal and really don’t know how to handle it night or day - the sweat just runs down my back when it happens. one friend advised me to wear a strappy top underneath dark couloured t shirts like a vest to try to prevent damp patches - ojh joy!
alex - food cravings oh no
i am psyching myself up to try to pack for our hols today n failing miserably - got the cases out but no motivation or brain power, what’s happened to the organised, in control woman i once was?
HI:)))
Claire - my hairdresser used a semi permanent colour. I say go for it:)))) Just be careful, maybe do a skin test before so you know its not going to irritate your skin? Dont know when my seroma will go, was empty this morning, got some fluid in it now, its when i start doing stuff that it fills. Glad the tablets seem to be working:)))
Wig went for all of an hour yesterday:0 Put it back on to go and pick the kids up, my hair looks ok, just hard to get used too.
Trying to pack, flying ryanair so lots of stressing, thought i had it done and then saw the pile of towels!! came downstairs and the dog had eaten all its food for the next two weeks:( I had packed her bag and left it on the floor. My fault, still cried though. Heyho.
kerry xxx
im trying to pack too and getting really stressed about it (unlike me)- its preventing me from looking forward to the holiday and, its jacks birthday too this week just to add to the end of term feeling aaaaargh - waiting for an email of my ex to put the cat amonst the pigeons re birthday plans.
breast care people said wait 6 months to put a colour on but i dont think i can last that long. well done for taking wig off - i am so undecided although it does look like a really short cut now i think rather than lost hair - oMG decisoins decisions
when you going away? i know you going to tenerife - enjoy - we going to devon saturday.
ive done it! ive been to my friends tonight - she is a haird (it was dark) but i now have to decide whehter to ditch the wig permanentaly. with going away on hols where no one will know me, it could be a good opportunity to do so and it would make it easier to go swimming wouldn’t it? oh heck, more decisions!!!
Hey all from sunny n hot teneriffe , , need u alll. . Why dont this all go away, and i thought if on hoilday id leave all my thoughts and worries behind. .
I went on a whale watching trip yesterdsy and was sick, and it made me think back to how i used to feel on fec. So then today i feel odd, shaky and tired and could cry all the time, odd period type pains even though no periods since feb and on tamox. . Convinved myself it will come back and ill die and ill miss out on all the amazing things i have in my life at the moment. .
I also looked around the pool and thought im differnt to everyone , i want to go back to me and no worries or horrible thoughts. How do i stop it. . I feel like a miserable paranoid cow
Poppy. Try and relax! We’re not like other people anymore but we have to try and muster all our strength. You’re away in a beautiful place with the man you love. People think we should be over it but it takes time.
Sending you a big hug. You’re still getting over your ordeal. Hopefully it will get easier in time.
Lots if love
Polly xx
kaz - still here for you!!! you can do this…
as Polly says, it will take us all a lot of time (more than those around us think) to get over our ordeal. i can wholeheartedly relate to the feelings of being somewhere , looking around and thinking, i am different, i don’t belong etc. I am going away to devon with two of my kids, my daughters boyfriend and my mom tomorrow and i feel i will stand out loke a sore thumb because i am on divorced and because of bc. i really don’t know what to expect.
You deserve your holiday after what you have been through but dont expect too much of yourself. as you know one day differs from the next (and will still do so whether you are home or away) and tomorrow is just as likley to be a good one-. i keep being told, “live for the present because it is a gift” so that is what i am trying to do but it is sometimes much easier said than done.
sooooo, go n get a cocktail from the bar and have a drink for us pinkies. you have come a long way Kaz, this thread that you started means a lot to a good many people so “cheers” as you sip your drink.
are you by chance anywhere near kerry in tenerife?
hope you are keeping Ok Polly
hugs to everyone
not sure if i will be able to get on forum while im away
Claire x
Oh Kaz, and I bet there’s no Qi Dong class just when you need it ;0)
I’m scared it will come back too and sometimes it’s hard not to think about it. But if it does come back, I don’t want the fear of it to have spoiled all the time inbetween.
Thank goodness for teensgets n phones but not sure how to use it so hope u can read this . Its wet here n im tryoing to. Satiisfy needs of teenagers n 74 yr old momwho old headed. Aaargh hope u a bit betta kaz
Long time no post, so I really do apologise. Work really does muck things up, don’t seem to have time for anything so thank goodness we’ve broken up.
How are all you lovely ladies doing? I’ve found it really hard to deal with all those who ask if I’m all alright now. I say fine and then they ask if I’m all clear. How do I truely know, I can’t lie, never been any good at it and I know I should say fine to them but somehow I can’t so I end up saying something which makes me think I’m some kind of drama/attention seeking queen.
Met up with this lovely lady the other evening who’s just starting out. She’s had her mx and is about to start chemo on Wednesday, so we had a really good chat. It was strange as it seemed like a lifetime away.
Had to have a lump in my neck removed a couple of weeks ago. The doctor who did it was so kind and spent ages explaining to me why he didn’t think it would be cancer whilst I had to show extreme interest in this lump of flesh floating in a jar. He has sent it for histology and said that usually if it’s fine you don’t hear anything but he said he’d phone me and tell me as he expects I’ll be worried. Apparently it takes about three weeks. He was really kind.
OH and I have gone and signed up to do the London to Paris bike ride next August for bcc. Can’t imagine what got into me. Went out on my bike at the weekend and could barely push the thing along and my backside was totally numb. We did about 12 miles and on the ride it’s about 90 miles a day. Thank god it’s a year away I might just about get fit by then but the way the additional weight seems to be remaining a permanent fixture I might have to get a bike with a stronger frame.
Hey all pinkies
Wow, reeb how cool, a lad from work did that last year and loved it. Well done fir sighning up, and 12 miles is good, shame about the sore bum lol
I thik ur doing well being back at work, 6 weeks off now???
Kerry, whe are you, what part of teneriffe, its been cloudy but warm
Claire, thanc hun, had a bad tu my and cramps for 2 days so no drink, sure ill ctach up
Pam, your ace xxxxxxx
Polly, thanx also, andys defo the man of my dreams
Hi all:-))
In tenerife. Proper cloudy:-// Hav
Kaz. Have pm’d u my number. Know EXACTLY how you are feeling!!! Sit by the pool getting cross because people havnt been through what we all have!!! Had to be put to bed on saturday:-/ clouds, sun, alcohol and this bc crap got to me and i just lost it! I got period pains too. Stoopid tamoxifen!!! Text me if u want, we are only in los cristianos:-))
Reeb - glad the lump was ok:-))
Claire- bigly huge hugs xxxx
Kerry xxxx
Kerry, hope you’re feeling better. You so wanted that holiday, so make sure you enjoy it. Kaz, hope you’re having fun too. You should meet up with Kerry, then Andy’s girls could get together with Scarlett and poor Will would be well outnumbered by girls.
Claire, hope Devon is good.
Reeb, I keep getting that question too ‘are you alright now?’ My answer is ‘I’m still having treatment at the hospital every 3 weeks’. Usually just gets the response ‘oh’. I’m jealous of your 6 weeks hols, I’m getting easily tired at work.
I had herceptin no.3 yesterday (yippee only 15 more to go) and the nurse said as I hadn’t had a reaction to the first 2, she could put it through faster. I think they set the IV to go faster. Anyway, I felt really woozy as it was going in, but had a small fan with me and got that going. I also tipped the chair back a bit. When I got home afterwards, I felt completely wiped out. Next time I might ask her to put it through slowly to see if that is better.
I’ve started taking my tamoxifen later in the day instead of first thing in the morning. So far it has stopped me dripping with sweat in business meetings
Hope Kerry and Kaz you’re getting some sun out in Tenerife, cloudy, cold and miserable here. Looks like we had the best of the summer back in April/May.
I’ve had a different brand of tamoxifen this month aps rather than wockhardt and I don’t think I’ve sweated quite so much, still getting mega hot flushes but the walking swamp effect hasn’t been quite as bad. My next batch is wockhardt again so it will be interesting to compare and if there is a difference I’m going to ask for the aps in future.
Hi all got gold of teenagers phone with lots of grumpiness so got ti be quick. Im feelin lonely. Still tryin to meet everyones needs n missin the folk at home that have been therw for me.feel in denial re what ive been thru since last sep n v different to everyone here. Luv to all hi reeb,pam n hope rtenwrife ok kaez n kerry. Lookun gorwarnd to york
sorry I’ve been quiet but sophie off so much busier than was & only have eves free when I am pooped out!!!
going to stroud for a few days tomorrow. hoping a break will do me good - hope all those on hot hols are having good times.
have arranged work visit to discuss return & have Occ health tel call to go as well prob next week. will be asking to work from home to help with travel tiredness & for ergonomic keyboard & mouse. I have loads of leave to use too so think I can get away with very short hours for a while. am in no hurry - wouldn’t go back if we didn’t need the money - have no interest in work at all but am sure I’ll feel different when I get back - they’re a good bunch but I just feel very detached from it all in my own little world now. all I care about is my family & close friends -all normal I expect.
claire hope the citalopram helping
reeb - enjoy the school hols while you can
Hope everyone enjoys york - still wish I could go but have much ado in london & nowhave agreed toanight’s camping with a friend & the girls - not expecting to get much sleep!!!
hugs to all
XXX jo XXXX
Nice to see everyone ok, , ill tex u later kerry, think we are about 7mile away from u .should defo meet up. When u here till. Nets been down at the apartment for few days so only jest seen ur number.
After all ur advice and words ive been feeling lots better. But im soacking wet sweat of a night time. So prob good i dont have much hair, lol
I put my bandana on today today as we were going the market and i couldnt get it off fast enough. 2much of a reminder of a few months ago
Yorks gonna be fab. We all gona meet the bnb on the friday and meet sat for lunch for julie lucina and jo
hi all - hope those who not been on here for a bit are all doing ok? -hope hols in tenerefe going ok kerry and kaz and that your back to work plans sort out Jo- i feel detached from it all too and yes thanks, i do think the citalopram is helping- i still feel low and lonely but i am not crying as much as i have been which is progress.
back from devon and doing the washing!! it is a beautiful day. i am going to just potter about i think.
the citalopram doesnt seem to be helping with the hot flushes as i though it might though - i too am soaked Kaz a lot of the time- most of the time is doesnt bother me and then i have times when i panic and think how will i ever get back to normal with the hot flushes happening out of the blue?. just dont know how i will work with them happening
Morning all
Hope everyone well and enoying the sun
Just a quickie to Kaz and Mrs Bird - are you still in Tenerife? I go tomorrow, arrive late night and staying in Las Americas, Granada Park which is way up the hill. Would be fab to meet up if you’re there, I’m gutted not to be going to York, have to organise a second meeting?
Tara for now
xxx
