starting TAC 15th May

Hi Jennie

Just found this thread. I had my sixth and last TAC last Friday. It is hard going but it is doable. Had some ups and downs with different ones, just take things easy, one day at a time. The diary is a help, but I found no two TACs affected me exactly the same way but it is a guide to which day you are likely to start feeling better again. Have only worn my wig three times, I tend to go commando especially as the weather is warmer now, and only wear something if I’m going out somewhere.
I’m off to see my surgeon on Monday, going for a bilateral mastectomy as I’ve had it in both breasts now and want to be shot of them! I opted for chemo first as the tumour was large 6.5cm x 4.5cm.
Good luck, there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Nonny

Hi girls

Meg - good luck for Monday!

Jenn - hope you feeling a bit better today and that your neck is feeling OK. Husband at beer festival and me here on cancer sites… Well, number 2 was better than number 1 which was also OK generally. No nausea at all this time, no constipation (made sure I took the herbal stuff!), no ulcers - hurrah! However I have felt much more tired I think. Fell asleep yesterday sitting upright on sofa and woke up 2 hours later! Managed to keep things going doing some school runs, but not all this week. Getting bit more used to the wig and trying the scarves again indoors. I have been doing the injections myself again and find that if I do them before leaving on school run, I just get on with it as I am in a rush! Hope they do the trick. Did you say your next one is the 19th?

Enjoy the weekend
Rebecca xxx

Hi, well monday has been cancelled due to lack of interest- no seriously the hospital have rung up, apparently my haemoglobin levels have gone up to 11 so I no longer need the transfusion HURRAH I’m going to treat myself by seeing a matinee of Sex and the City on monday as I’d already made arrangements for son to go to one of his friends after school.

hi ladies!

Rebecca glad to hear things are ok.I think you are sooo brave doing the jabs yourself,although I have to admit waiting for a nurse to come will probably become a bind.I’ve heard that this regime can tire you more as the course goes on.As for my neck-blrrr.I think it might be the dressing that is irritating me more,I wasn’t told when to remove it so hubby is going to change it at least tonight-might be able to move a bit more then.Yes my next chemo is the 19th,surgeon said the line is ok to use but it is very bruised,I was thinking of asking for some “magic” cream before hand.

Meg I am soo pleased you didn’t have to have the transfusion-don’t forget the chocolate on Monday.

Nonny thanks for the kind words- I think you are amazing to go commando-not sure if I can do it yet.But sometimes I do have an urge to pull off the wig and run down the road screaming-that’s nothing to do with the cancer just a silly me!! Don’t worry I’ll never do it -lol!

speak soon everyone Jen x

hi girls

just though I would tell you had 2nd TAC today and line was successful!!! Feel ok at the moment but early days!!! Going now been a long day and need an ice lolly!!!

thanks Jennie xxxx

Hi girls

Jenn - how are you feeling? You are a third of the way there - hurrah! Have my third next Friday. I love the last week as all the tablets are finished, the injections are all over too (yes, getting used to doing them myself now…) and I feel some sort of ‘normality’. Mind you, I have been weird this week as I wear my wigs (not both at the same time!) even in the house now. The scarves were reminding me all the time about this sodding disease so I haven’t worn them for a bit. I am sure a shrink could provide a reasonable explanation which isn’t vanity - promise!

Meg, hope you enjoyed Sex and the City. What a good idea going to the cinema during the day - will have to look into that.

Have my bloods on Wednesday and keeping everything crossed that they are OK. Last time a nurse said casually ’ you will probably need a transfusion soon’, but it wasn’t clear if she was talking about me specifically or if in general that is what happens to a lot of people. Confused - ah!

Keep smiling
Rebecca xxx

Rebecca you sound so positive! I’m feeling really blrrr this time.Although my jonts don’t ache as much just constantly washed out.I find I get upset as I have all my faculties and see lots of jobs and things that need doing but my body can’t be bothered.I missed a wedding reception and a 25th wedding anniverary this weekend-not happy! Oh well like you said a third of the way!!!

I know what you mean about the scarves,although I get really itchy wearing my wig-I’m just soo hot blooded (lol!) started actually going commando indoors a bit more.When I have wor the scarves indoors and I’m due to get my daughter from school I forget to put the wig on and thats when I get the questions as it’s so obvious.Again like you said this sodding disease! By the way when people ask do you say you HAD or HAVE breast cancer? Hmmmm …

I had some good news this week I casually asked the doctor at the unit if he had the results of my CT scan,he did and it’s clear! That’s bone and CT ,I feel so relieved!

Anyway going now must shut my eyes for a while…speak soon Jen x

Hi Jen

Know what you mean about missing events - what a bummer. Mind you, we have just come back from a Christening (don’t get invited to many of those!) which had a really nice party afterwards so am glad I made an effort, but am knackered. It is only because it is week 3 and I have some energy.

Great news about your scan - the waiting is so hard.

I have had lots of ‘non positive’ moments this week, caused mainly by looking at other threads on this website, so must stop doing that! Interesting you should ask about the HAD or HAVE BC. We don’t have BC any more because it has all been cut out. I say I am having treatment for cancer but that implies I still have it doesn’t it? Come the end of treatment (ie rads not Tamoxifen and all that jazz), think I will talk about it in the past.

Hope you start to feel a bit less tired, but to be honest mine is getting worse which the nurses did warn me about. It really is that ‘new baby’ type of tiredness.

Love
Rebecca xxxx

Chin up girls, it is hard, but I believe it is worth it, otherwise I’m sure I couldn’t face yet another session and its aftermath. I’m fed up with people telling me how well I look having gone from a no make up, wore what ever was ironed that day sort of girl, I have turned into a co-ordinated made up lady (of sorts) - mainly so that I don’t look so c*** when I go out; the thing is this image that I see in the mirror and everyone else now sees isn’t me. I’ll be so glad when my hair reappears and I feel I can go back to lounging about in my normal clobber.

Have to say that Sex and the City was fab - although there is a bit where Samantha talks about her recovery from breast cancer and I did get a bit weepy. There were only about eight of us there and I felt safe from a germ sort of perspective as I booked tickets online and sat as far away from people as I could. It was a great treat and we could all do with more of those!

ahhh the tiredness!!! My brain is ok just my body- I am so fed up! I stayed in my pj’s all weekend-never have I done that before,even when I had my children. I can see how the tiredness will get worse,because as soon as you start to feel on top of things WHAM! back again. I keep telling myself one day at a time and then half hour later I wake up again!

This may be the first year that I actually sit and watch Wimbledon-not that I’m interested except for the strawberries-then when I eat them I can’t taste them-blrrr!

Sorry not having a good day.I want to feel like my old self tomorrow a friend I haven’t seen for a couple of years is coming over from France and we were meant to go for a lovely chinese.Well she understands maybe next year hey?!?!

Cinema sounds great- I quite like Wil Smith- but I’ll probably fall asleep-I’ll wait and get the DVD and have him all to myself instead - lol!

lots of love a trying to smile and keep positive Jennie : - ) XX

Hi girls

Well, hurrah for the fact that I love Wimbledon (the only sport I watch) - those hunky men life the spirit!

Had TAC number 3 yesterday and again woke up quite a few times during the night so bit sleepy.

Talking of movies, i can’t wait for Mamma Mia as that is going to be SO feel good. Mind you, will make me want to jump on a plane and go somewhere hot… in my dreams…

Had a bit of hastle this week as I saw a copy of a letter summarising my path report. After my lumpectomy and Sentinel Node, one lymph out of two were taken. Then with the mast I was told I was having auxillary clearance and I kept on sayint to my Breast Surgeon ‘so you have taken them all out then’. Yes yes, he said. Then I see I still just have one affected, but out of 6! so they only took 6 out. I collared the Onc Professor when he did his rounds yesterday and he said 6 relate to the breast. I am really pissed off by all this. Also my lump is bigger than he said according to this letter, which panicked me as I thought I would take me to Stage 3, but the onc reckons still Stage 2. Sorry to bore you with all this, but I could scream! Now I want to change my breast surgeon, even though he is a lovely man, but one of few words…

Anyway, on a more positive note, hope you are all having a nice weekend and problems are few and far between?

Love
Rebecca
xx

hi Rebecca scream girl scream!!!

I’m a little confused with what you have said. If you are having axillary clearance that means all being removed?? I know my surgeon said that the amount of nodes we have differs from person to person-but 6 and 1 left?

The path report you have seen-is it a copy of what the surgeon sends your GP? I receive copies and it could be that it’s not an up to date report perhaps.I know I’m clutching at straws! As for the staging,I’m a stage 3 and I was told by my BS and nurse that anyone young with invasive breast cancer is put at this stage.Again perhaps she was just trying to reassure me-but why?By the way you said IS when talking about your lump-it was removed wasn’t it?

I haven’t seen my breast surgeon since my op and am not due to see him till January,as for the nurse-well what nurse???

I’m seeing the Prof a week next Thursday.I want to dicuss Herceptin and Ovary obliteration.I thought I wouldn’t have a period this month but I did big time.In fact it’s no wonder I have been so tired!
Now to top it all I think I have oral thrush.So I’m seeing gp next week too!

This week has been an awlful week for me really I have been so tired and nervy. I went to pick my daughter up from school on Wednesday,came over a bit breathless and giddy and finished by having a major panic attack-in the school playground!!! It’s knocked my confidence a bit and can’t thank my friends enough for helping me home-I cried for England.I think it’s a matter of pushing myself to hard and underestimating this chemo and starting my period -OH Joy!!

Well anyway I bet you wish you hadn’t asked-lol!

love a very (well trying ) chilled Jennie x
ps coorrrrr sweaty men and their rackets-mama mia!!!

Oh Jennie!

What a week for you. Yes, I think the period thing plus the chemo is enough to do anyone in. Hope next week is better. And yeah, aren’t the playground mums a blessing - you really find out who your friends are. There is a mum in Reception who has just finished all her treatment bless her and is on the Tamoxifen and Zoladex and is really taking care of me even though I tell her to sod off as she must move on! Only joking - lol. She is a huge support.

Now, to clarify (as I do ramble) - they told me I had a clearance but then saw (in a letter) they only took 6 nodes out, and surely I have more than that! Still only the one affected, which they found when they did the Sentinel Node Biopsy after my initial lumpectomy when I believe they took out 2 nodes. Yes, guess I do refer the the lump in the present tense (weird), even though it is all out with the rest of my boob and sitting in a lab somewhere still??? Wonder how long they keep them!

By the way, I haven’t seen the pathology report (I could ask for it I guess) - what I saw was just a summary on the letter from the Breast Surgeon (which one do you have by the way? I have Prof Sauven)

Hope the GP sorts out your thrush - sounds nasty.

As for the stages, there doesn’t seem to be much consistency. Guess being Stage 4 is what we would rather not be told…

Guess you have Prof Davidson? It will be interesting what he says about the ovary thing as I am a bit confused. My friend is on Tamoxifen and Zoladex injections as will I be apparently. So you are Her+ then? Guess that still means you will be on the other stuff plus Herceptin? From what little I know, they give you the Zoladex in case the Tamoxifen on its own doesn’t stop your ovaries producing all the bad stuff for us, but I may be completely wrong.

Well, I have gone bright red this evening after yesterday’s toxic attack. Lovely. Off to bed I think as I am knackered now not having had a kip today.

Hope things improve my love!
Rebecca xxx

hiya!

well a week later and I am feeling alot better how about you? I have my next chemo next Friday,not looking forward to it but reassurring to know it will be half way! Seeing the prof on Thursday so trying to make a list of all the questions I want to ask.

I’ve been told after the chemo I have the Herceptin,haven’t been advised on any other drugs but I am oestrogen/progestorone+ so who knows??! My breast surgeon is Mr Inwang-lovely man based at the chelmsford and essex clinic-actually in Chelmsford.I don’t have an appointment to see him until January.Although I am thinking of seeing him earlier as I am suffering from Lymphodema quite alot.Looks quite strange when I’m sitting there massaging my breast and armpit!!! : - )

I’ve seen my GP this week and asked for beta blockers as I am becoming quite anxious when I go out mostly because I feel so weak and tire easily and worry about any attention it may bring with it.They ar only standby hopefully won’t use them but good to know I have them in case.

Well I’m going now putting my feet up before the kids are home-find out new teachers today so probably quite excited too. My daughter (6) is on her first sleepover tomorrow -will be so strange not having my baby around! But she is excited as it’s her 7th birthday Tuesday too. As a party is a bit awkward this year her Rainbow’s leader has offered to throw a surprise b’day party for her-I was speechless and nearly cried.Some people just know how to be kind!!!

anyway hope you are keeping well

ttfn from a soppy Jennie x

Ahh, are you still soppy??

Hope the birthday celebrations went well. What a fab Rainbow group you have.

Lots of similarities. My little boy will be 5 on Sunday, and great excitement there, but not as much (for my daughter at least!) as finding out about new teachers etc tomorrow. Bless them - little things make them so happy, and other little things make them so mad! Just as well ‘put things into perspective’ wouldn’t mean anything to them.

Hope you are feeling better about going out. That must be tough, but at least now you have the tabs.

After number 3 (yes, half way there!), I felt bit worse, and certainly the tiredness lasted a bit longer. Also had weird facial numbness this weekend. Called the chemo nurse who said not to worry. So I won’t!

Have lots of things planned for next week before my next one. Need to remind myself to take it easy really, but I can’t say no to lunches and coffee! Went to see Prince Caspian with my daughter yesterday and lusted after the Prince. I hope he is this side of 20 so I don’t feel too much of a perv!

Have you lost all your hair? I had mine cut to a number 1 I think, but still have a lot. It stopped falling out, but guess it might still disappear.

Hope you are making the most of the last few days of ‘freedom’, as much as you can.

Bye
Rebecca xxx

hiya!

Lucky you still have some hair! I have alittle bit just wispy strands hanging on.My eyelashes are beginning to go now and the hair up my nose has dissappeared so constantly have drippy nose! Just like a child -lol!

I haven’t taken any of the tablets yet-trying not to but good knowing they are there if and when.I actually went out on Friday evening!!! I work part time for local college and in my absence they received a fantastic Ofsted report and decided to treat the staff to an evening out-free food and drink ALL NIGHT! Couldn’t resist,wanted to catch up with friends anyway,it started at 6.30,so nice and early.A friend took me and brought me home about 10.I couldn’t stay awake any longer! I had visions of me sitting in the corner with my wig tilted and dribbling like an old biddy!!!

I agree about the tiredness and I have only had 2 sessions so far.Third is on Friday,cupboards are well stocked in anticipation.I now find I plan things alot more.If I know I have to go out then I on’t do anything else all day-well it’s a good excuse anyway!

I’m also finding if I do too much my arm is hurting more-I’m going to try and see the physio for some advice.I’m at Broomfield on Thursday to see the Prof and back again on Friday-2 days to arrange child care!!

My daughter breaks up from school next week and my son the week after,already trying to think of activities to do-although my son is now of an age where you just don’t do things with your family! Can’t believe it’s the hols already ! Where has the time gone?? Hopefully the weather will improve by then,life is soooo much easier when they can go in the garden,swimming pool out , sun lounger and long drink for me!!!

speak soon Jen xxxx

hiya

thought I would just say a quick hello.Had 3rd chemo Friday-halfway there! You must be due your 4th soon. Im ok well I must be noticing more that needs doing around the place and moaning more!!!

Well was a quickie,hope your son has a lovely birthday speak soon Jennie x

Hiya Jennie

Just back from my son’s party and another, an hour later. Ahhhhhhh. Knackered. Took another mum and 4 children in my car, and we had to stay (as responsible for other children!) and the entertainer could probably be heard in Romford. Hell on earth. I have just downed 2 glasses of rose and will probably be asleep very soon.

Well, half way there for you my dear! Yes, my next one is on Friday. For the first time I am dreading it. Only because I know I feel quite low for the first few days (read somewhere this could be due to the steroids?) and then all the tablets and injections and just feeling really not myself. BUT a means to an end (should chant this really…).

My mum is coming down tomorrow for 3 weeks, so I know I will get some more rest. Yes, know what you mean about the hols. On the one hand I am looking forward to not rushing out in the morning, on the other hand… Either my mum or hubbie will be around for most of it, so not too bad. Usually we are away for most of the holidays so it will be really weird this time to stay in Chelmsford. We have booked a hotel for the 28th and 29th of July in Suffolk to celebrate my birthday, but of course that is only if my next chemo is not delayed. Am keeping everything crossed!

OK, off to supervise bath time now. Never ending. My 8 year old is developing teenage attitude which is not helping!

Hope you are resting and not feeling too bad. Oh, have your eyes watered at all - like hayfever symptoms? I had it before last chemo, then nothing, and then the last 2 or three days I have been streaming. Yes, and down my nose like you. Charming isn’t it?!

Lots of love
Rebecca xx

Hi ya!

Lucky you having your mum and hubby around for a while,it will ease the load! I haven’t been too well this time. Chemo on Friday went ok,weekend was ok too- although slept through most of it.Monday-aghhhh! I passed out whilst on the toilet- luckily hubby was there,came round tried to crawl to the bedroom and passed out again! Next thing I know I have 4 paramedics round me. I was rushed to a&e and assessed. My blood pressure was too low,basically I hadn’t been drinking enough.

I can laugh abit now but it was scary.The hospital was very thorough,all checks including ecg and chest xray were done immediately and I was home withing about 5 hours. This will make you laugh- I didn’t have any underwear on!!! I’d been to the loo and where I was slumped on the floor,it had come off!! How embarrassing-luckily it was a lady paramedic who arrived first and saved my dignity!!! Well after all this I have now resigned myself to bed for a few days each time ,to “rest and drink” grrrr! I am sooo fed up with this-true like you say a means to an end…

Well going now hubby has cooked lovely spud for tea - I really crave a goey sticky pudding but pointless can’t even taste it! Hope you are ok and “resting” too??!!

Jennie x

ps no streaming eyes- but nearly lost all bottom eyelashes so eyes are a bit sticky-yuck! Nose - yes constantly armed with tissues!

Hi again!

My God poor you - sounds horrendous (but the knickers bit WAS funny!! lol), but what a relief that all OK. I will learn from that and drink more, as I am definitely not drinking as much as I should be.

I have been going mad last few days - lunches and drinking wine. Mind you, am knackered, being made more tired by the sodding hayfever. Off to London tomorrow with my mum and then toxic attack again on Friday…

Yeah, runny nose is a delight isn’t it. Been paranoid about my flap and scars this week. I was OK about all that before I lost my hair, but as the head of plastics nursing (I popped to see her today after had my bloods done) said, I am ‘refocusing’! A couple of new cancer buddies I have met, showed me their flaps (sounds obscene!) and mine is huge compared to theirs. I know I should just concentrate on the oncology side, but I am pissed off with all that, so fretting about the physical stuff now. Weird emotions don’t you find. I mean my own boob is a boob of a woman who has had two children, so it is not as if that one is anything to write home about! Prattling on now and making no sense - sorry!

Well my dear, hope you are feeling better. Have your braved the injections yourself yet?! I do hate all that.

Off to bed now after having eaten so much today I’m not sure my body will make it up the stairs! Can’t stop eating, even straight after chemo!

Love
Red eyed Rebecca xxx