I’ve been reading the messages on here, and although scared, thought I’d sign up and maybe even make some new friends!
I was diagnosed on Monday 25th November - my 31st Birthday!! The worst birthday I’ve had by far!
I’ve been told that I have invasive ductal cancer, and it’s grade 3. The doctor sent me for blood tests, ultrasound, chest x-ray and a mammogram there and then straight after he broke the news to me. So far they’ve all come back clear. But the thing worrying me, is that I’ve had a pain in my right side just under my ribs, and awful constant headaches with dizzy spells for months. Since I’ve been researching breast cancer (until Monday my knowledge on this subject was zero!) I’ve learnt that if it’s going to spread, it’s most likely going to the liver and brain - the two places I have problems :-( I’ve got to go in for a CT scan to test all these areas, but I’m so so so so scared that it has spread already. I think if it was contained in the breast, I’d be feeling a bit more confident that I could fight it. But the not knowing is literally driving me insane.
Has anyone else been in a similar situation, or has any useful advice or anything that may be of help to me?
I went from being completely “normal”, to hearing I have cancer, it’s the worst grade, I need chemo for 18 weeks, radiotherapy for 5 weeks and probably 5 years of medication, that I should cut my hair now to get me used to it (it’s thick, and down to nearly my waist) and that I probably won’t ever have another baby. That was a lot to take in on one day - and my birthday at that!
Sorry to go on, but it actually feels a bit better to have written it down and got it out x
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Hi KittyKat, Its good to write it all down and I hope that as each day passes, you start to feel a bit better. I think ti is normal to think that the cancer has spread etc. I think we all do that. I have a v vivid immagination but at the moment, I have told myself that I will only worry, if I have reason to … and for me, that means, if I get told anything by a surgeon/oncologist etc. Because my brain can tell me rubbish in an instant. You must push the negative thoughts away and keep all of you strength for what you do actually know. I was diagnosed on 7th Oct , has two surgeries and now have the ‘all clear’. My chemo starts on 18th Dec so I am doing all I can to be as healthy as possible for the next six months.
Stay in touch and let us know how you get on. This Forum is brill for information and advice. Its a tough old road this but you really will get through it. The early days are the hardest, waiting for results etc but you are stronger than you think. Remember, there will be days, when there is real reason to worry about the unknown, keep your strength for those days. No news is good news! Lots of love Frances xx
Hi kittykat sorry you are here but it helps to talk. I am feeling the same way I’m convinced I have cancer everywhere, I think it’s a normal reaction, but not a particularly helpful one.
I think everyone here will give you lots of helpful advice. One step at a time. I find writing things down help, my feelings etc and talking to your friends family. Xx
You have had a terrible shock on 25 November and your emotions will be all over the place at the moment.
I am sorry that you have joined ‘the club’ of women dealing with breast cancer. It is good that you have posted on The Forum because there are lots of ladies on here that will try and help you through this.
Only four days have passed since you were told and it is only natural that your mind will be running away with you and reacting negatively to the bad news. My mind did on 3 October when I was told I had breast cancer.
My advice would be to avoid ‘Googling’ information about cancer on the Internet because there is a lot of information ‘out there’ that is out of date. If you require more information stick to the Breast Cancer Care website, Macmillan website and the leaflets they offer. This Forum is also great for connecting with ladies in the same situation who can tell you about their own experiences and offer support.
Try to deal with one day at a time and not look into the future with ‘what if’s’ bombarding your mind. This was the advice my BCN gave me when I was first diagnosed. It is the fear of the unknown which drives you crazy.
Until you have your CT scan, I would try your very best to stop thinking about whether the cancer may have spread. Try to change these negative thoughts into positive ones. Concentrate on the positives. You say your blood tests, ultrasound, chest X-rays and mammogram all came back clear. Your CT scan might be all clear too. Therefore, until you get the results, why torture yourself thinking the very worst.
It is not easy, but from my own experience, I did find ‘holding onto to the positives’ (however small) helped me through this difficult time.
Wishing you all the very best and sending you lots of positivity.
Thank you Lucy, Frances, Marion and Magical_Moon. It really means a lot to me that you have taken time out of your already stressful lives to reply to me.
You’ve all got such valid points, and although I’m still struggling to come to terms with my news, I am going to really try hard to take on board what you’ve said - to not worry until I have something to worry about. Never thought I’d be saying that I hope it’s ‘only’ breast cancer, because 5 days ago that would have been bad enough!!! But I’m going to try to enjoy the weekend, and put all cancer related stuff out my head. I’m taking my baby to see Father Christmas on Sunday, so that will put a smile on my face if nothing else :-) Thank you all, much love Jayne xxx
