“What’s that?” Calypso pointed across the field to Determination.
The other riders tipped their hats back, towelled themselves down, and were in the process of tidying up the picnic. Everybody squinted into the late afternoon sun, trying to pick up what Calypso was seeing.
Determination breathed in the summer, and as it breathed, the air overhead rippled. The wooden slats of the buildings, the shingles on the roofs, boardwalks, water in the water barrels, grain in the grain sacks, and the folks of the town, all paused for the tiniest moment, then, like the smallest pebble dropped into the creek pool they shimmied, they fandangoed, and they went on their way… And Tallulah entered Determination.
The Shaman watched from the mountain tops. She breathed in deeply and lifted her arms towards the sky. “Aiiyyyeeeeiieeaayyaaaiiy…” she cried, and turned her palms towards the clouds. The Storm Dogs heard her, Topaz heard her, and in a howling and a yowling they raised their voices in welcome.
Theresa, unfortunately i have lymphoedema in my dominant arm which is left. I have my lovely stocking on and it doesnt feel too uncomfortable at the moment but i have to wear it out (wont i look a picture??) on tube to rads.
I am having problems with my eyes at moment, where there are no eyelashes, they are gunking up during the night. Since yesterday, i have felt like a foreign body is lodged (probably a bit of gunk) and i have tried everything to get it out, pouring water over the eye, eye drops and viscotears to no avail. Eye is very sore now. Because i have rads, i havent got time to go to the doctors and Barts doesnt have an A+E so cant do it that way. I will have to solider on and hope it dislodges itself naturally. Any suggestions welcome.
I have decided to change my time for tamoxofen from morning to evening. ~i have noticed that the muscle aches come in around an hour after taking it. they are not so much painful as debilitating. I find it difficult to walk and climb stairs. I have figured this wont matter so much at night so i am going to try and take it around 9.00 at night. Anyone else done this?
Well girls, its gonna be a hot one today… Slip, slap and slop time as rhey say at school. I am finding it difficult to adapt my wardrobe due to loss of boob. difficult to find anything cool that doesnt show off the dent. I could use that as an excuse for some retail therapy couldnt i???
linda- could be a blocked tear duct, try massaging ina circular motion around the corner of your eye?? My eyes are playing up too - not many lashes left and driving me mad…haven’t started my tamoxifen yet but my friend Nic takes hers at night so I’ll do the same…glad the arm feels a bit easier with sleeve - think I’ll be joining the lympho ranks too - def some in boob and arm isn’t right…let me know how the mld does…mary x
Hello all. Well, I haven’t posted for a while as I just feel that I am in a kind of limbo-land… just taking it easy after my op after a busy week of visitors visiting and staying. I go for my results on Friday. Sorry for those suffering uncomfortable side effects. Thinking of you all. Sheila xxxxx
hi sheila - we’ll be thinking of you and sending the vibes again on friday - you’re very right, it is a kind of limbo till you know for certain whats going on and what you’re due…take care, mary x
Any excuse for retail therapy is a good excuse Linda! Get yourself off down the shops asap.
Sheila, like Mary says it is a limbo time this. It’s really hard that wait, but whatever your results on Friday, just getting them and your treatment plan makes it all easier to get a handle on. We’ll be there on Friday. What time’s the appointment?
They do say the eyelashes and brows are the first to grow back. That’s what happened to me. Hopefully you’ll get the first growth soon Linda and that might help. You too Mary.
Well, guess what I have been doing? Reading these posts from the start! Blummin eck. I’ll be reading till Christmas! Am on p25! Really odd reading all your stories from earlier in the year when I was pottering round, carrying on without a care in the world… never knew this site existed, never dreamt I would ever have the dreaded little critter…
It is lovely to know that while I am in this strange limboland (I think it is a little clearing just behind the main street but close enough to the saloon to stagger in (supported on both sides)for a chilled glass of rose wine and back for the old one’s chicken soup), that fellow storm riders are remembering to load me on the cart and keep me going. Love the story and honoured to feel part of it!
My appointment is early Friday morning. My sister will come with me and we will have a celebratory lunch come what may…
Second dose of the penultimate round now in and doing it’s thang. I feel like cr*p! Psychologically just wasn’t into it this morning at all. I know I should be whooping it up as in 7 weeks I can wake up and go bye bye chemo and watch the last wee bits of it sink into the quicksand as each day goes by, but we’ve said it all through this, you have to do each and every day, and two weeks after last dose I start with the rad planning appointments, not to mention that goddang and darn blasted tamoxifen lark - it never blinkin’ well ends!!! Graaargh!
You have some stamina for reading, Sheila, if you are reading from the beginning! Good luck for Friday and as Carole & Mary say, we’ll be with you.
Linda, you deserve a bit of retail therapy so seize the justification!
Sorry to hear you’re feeling rough today, Carole. But like you say, it is one day at a time going through this and no predictions on how you’ll feel. But it will end; the tamoxifen is do-able (even in weather like this) and you WILL get there, girl!! In the meantime, take care of yourself.
Oh Carole (there’s a song there somewhere, lol) sorry you’re having a cr*ppy day. It’s not surprising really, it’s hard to stay upbeat when you’re made to feel like sh*te every couple of weeks. You’ll get there and Gennie won’t be far behind you. When I think back to when you started chemo, it seemed to stretch such a long time ahead, and I suppose it has been, but you’ve done brilliantly, as have all the chemo babes. After what you’ve been through with chemo, rads will be a breeze and tamoxifen? Well… think positive - Sandra’s doing fine, and you may do just as well. Not everyone reacts badly to anything remotely pharmaceutical!
Boy, Sheila, reading this thread from the beginning? That’ll take some doing. But the story didn’t start at the beginning of this thread. There was the Bury St Edmonds one before that. Now that was when we were in gloomsville. It started just before Christmas, when it was cold and dark - it seems like a lifetime ago somehow. We’ll be there with you in spirit on Friday. I think limboland is just off Uncertainty Row and the riders go down there every now and again to pick up anyone languishing in the shadows.
How did you get on today, Linda? Hope the eyes are better.
I had a walk on the beach this afternoon. Lovely - it was a bit cooler down there and I paddled along the beach, then bought myself and ice cream - £1.50 for a Solero - what a rip off! It was nice though.
Just booked a table for tomorrow evening - it’s my birthday. 21 again! lol
Thanks Eliza, thanks Sal. I feel better now. Gen just gave me a good talking to and the first cloud of the chemo hitting me has passed too. What would I do without you all.
Oh Soleros, my favourite along with 99s. Bought a couple of boxes for the freezer yesterday. Put my foot down for a nippy 30 minutes back to the house which should just about make it before they really thaw… ROADWORKS! HEAT! Yaaaargh! Let’s just say the nice solero shape is now a lovely puddle shape encased in an envelope. All tastes the same going down.
21 again? What do you do, cryofreeze and only thaw for a few hours a day for a quick run and a few posts? Lol. Hippo Bird Day when it comes! What kind of food? Something Italian maybe, French, Mexican, something Polish, Russian, perhaps a little sushi? Yum. Think I just thought another half stone onto my humungous tum there.
Halllloooooo I am still here…just.I have to be finished the initial push by the 10th so will come staggering up the steps soon after that.
Love and hugs to all of you and special (((((0)))))to Carole today.
Hug back to the Old One as she staggers over to the table, thumps down another huge pile of papers, then drops into her rocking chair with a sigh. Here’s a nice mug of calming herb tea to send you off to a good night’s sleep, all ready for tomorrow. Soon be over!
And I’m off to bedski with my camomile. See you all bright and breezy in the early morning, which is likely to be somewhere just after dawn if the steroids have their dirty way with me again.
Just a week behind you Carole but only just, as my neuts were only 1.1 this morning ( forgot the liver on Sunday ).Felt really odd during the injections but managed to drive home OK and had a sleep before lunch and another this p.m.
At the moment feel like throwing up, so about to take anti-emetics and go to bed - supposed to be going to work tomorrow - can’t see it somehow.
Goodnight all and best of luck to anyone having treatment this week - Ros.
Just want to say…if the meeting today between 2 Storm Riders is anything to go by…November is going to be a riot!!!
Helen is LOVELY, all the warmth and support that comes over in her posts, well, multiply it by 100! It was fantastic to meet up, and we just did not stop talking for a good 2 hours (also managed to eat the most ginormous ice cream sundaes - well, would have been rude not to!)
Roll on November…!
Subject change - if anyone is watching the Hockney programme on BBC1 right now - that fabulous part of the world (Yorkshire Wolds) is my stamping ground - it really is glorious.
As ever - huge respect to the Chemo babes - you have it so tough - Helen and I were talking about it today - we really feel we don’t know what to say, you all are coping so incredibly with such a s**t treatment regime - out and out stars, the lot of you!
Luuurve the name Tallulah! Warble on in the odd (very odd!) duet with Nancy! (Who THINKS she can sing…but not!!)
Hugs from the 2 Yorkshire lasses (whilst Helen’s away)
Hope you’re feeling better today Carole, if not get down to that there cave and we’ll keep watch and supplies of Solero’s coming. How are you feeling today Ros?
Glad the meeting went so well yesterday Helen and Lizzie, it must make such a difference to sit and chat to someone who’s been there and done that. Add the Storm Rider spirit and what better company could we ask for.
Struggling a bit still, very annoying as I hate feeling down but can feel myself wanting to blub at anything, can’t get rid of various SE which don’t stop me doing things but continually remind me I’m not ‘normal’… if that makes sense? I said to a friend I feel like I’ve been living in a bubble since January with me watching the world carry on as normal. I hate being out of everything, sorry moan over.
Hope everyone else is doing okay and that those working, Jane, Gen, Eliza? - are managing this heat, love and hugs to everyone else and good luck for anyone with appointments today. Keep Cool!!! Di xxx
Ros, I was 1.04 last week (talk about sliding home!) but 2.3 this week. Bet yours go up too. Nurse said that as the neuts fight infection, you must have a slight infection somewhere even though it doesn’t register, and the neuts are being used up fighting it. Absolutely nothing we can do to raise the neut level. If you don’t go to work, you are hereby ordered to the cave, with a huge pile of buns, tea (decaf of course - must stay hydrated), and some great DVDs.
What a lovely meet up Lizzie! Helen does come across as fantastic doesn’t she. So glad it was great day, and you said it, Roll on November. Am just doing the circulation email just now, so watch out for it coming everybody. It think I’m missing some emails. I’ll pm anybody that I don’t have a direct email for.
Totally makes sense Di. Exactly how I feel, and I think everybody on chemo. Even on good chemo days the chemo is still in there and you know you’re not operating as, well, normal. Blubbing at anything and everything is par for the course really. We’re on chemo, and everybody is more fragile than usual this year, chemo or not. I even welled up reading something about Michael Jackson. I mean really, get a grip. Sad he died young, but I don’t give too hoots about him otherwise, don’t even like his music, so what was that about! Oh, silly me, chemo emotion. Duh! Bubble land is where we are, but bubbles eventually break, particularly when getting a good pounding from the inside. Moan away whenever you like dear Bilbo.
Last one tomorrow Rosie. Just a few weeks and you get to be chemo free. Wowza!
How you holding up Sheila? Fallen asleep at page 110 yet?
