Hi,
I was diagnosed on the 7/3/2018 with bc in my right breast and right lymph node and DCIS in the left breast.
I told my mother that night and the next day she invited me over for a Sunday roast on Mother’s Day (11/03)
When me, my husband and son arrived that day, both my mother and my step-dad were drunk and after what felt like an eternity of abuse I walked out.
Has anyone else experienced a bad reaction to their news from family members?
My mother still hasn’t contacted me.
Hi JeninWatford. I really feel for you point one. I hadn’t spoken to my mum for over a year when I was diagnosed and the first person I told was my mother in law because she’s amazing. When I did eventually tell my mum she acted like I was lying because we have no family history and I was too young and too healthy. Then she went on to tell people that as I hadn’t had chemo or rads that I hadn’t had cancer for real. A suppose a mastectomy just wasn’t enough. I know it’s hard but concentrate on yourself, your husband and your son. You mum will either come round or she won’t but either way that is their problem. You have enough to deal with. Big hugs.
Hi JeninWatford
I’m so sorry to read your post about the reaction from your mother. You really do not need this cr*p after a cancer diagnosis. I’d focus on yourself and your husband and son and keep your distance from your mother, relying instead on trusted friends, neighbours, colleagues - anyone basically who will treat you as you deserve to be treated - i.e. kindly.
Could your husband have a few words with your mother and tell her she was out of order?
Use this Forum for support and advice, from people who understand what you are going through. xx
Hi,
Thank you tgregory and Optimissy64.
You’ve both made me feel positive again and yes, I’ll stop thinking about how she feels and concentrate on me!
And yes, I’ll stick around kind people who care. xx
Hi Jenin, sad that this happens. I too have had a weird response (or lack of). Since my diagnosis in Feb I’ve had the grand total of two text messages from my mum. No phone call, visit, nothing. Even though she also knows its my busiest time of year workwise she hasn’t offered any help or any words of comfort. My sister has also been strange all she could talk about when I was diagnosed was my cousin who sadly died of bc and how it was all such a drama for her because now she is genetically at a slightly higher risk for it! Neither of them have asked how treatment is going (I’ve already started chemo and they don’t have a clue). Again hardly comforting words! It seems some people have very strange ways of dealing with things. My husband’s family have been amazing so that really helps. I don’t know how things will be if and when I do eventually hear from my mum and I’m sure you will be feeling the same. This whole situation is horrible enough without all this kind of added crap!
Hi Jen
Sorry to hear that you had that response. Either they cannot compute what this means or they are being downright cruel. My Mum keeps asking when I am going to get my tits chopped off! Great arent they, Parents!?
Personally I wouldnt contact her and carry on with the support you have from others. Good luck love x